Lawyer suspended over explicit e-mail cock-up
 

Less, just for you, here's (yet) an(other) example of an embarrassing lack of email judgment by a lawyer:

Note that the outlaw.com site is the source of the "cock up" line.

a truly cautionary tale of the downfall of a greedy lawyer
 

WoW~!

From today's New York Times:



IN nearly every American city or town, you can find people like Peter Jaquith. He is 67 and has $150 in his checking account. He lives on $1,100 a month in Social Security and a little help from family members. To make ends meet, he has worked as a deliveryman and a toilet cleaner.

It hasn't always been like this for Mr. Jaquith. In the 1980's, he was a partner at Lazard Frères, the elite investment bank, and the right-hand man of Felix Rohatyn, its legendary deal maker. At his peak, Mr. Jaquith was worth at least $20 million.

Helpful Tips For the Happy Couple
 

1. In planning your wedding, be sure you select a venue that can hold your guests. Your elderly relatives should not have to stand along the walls during the ceremony, and I should not have to sit on my husband's lap. Also, make sure that at least half your guests get programs. An entire row should not have to share one program.

2. Two words. Air conditioning. If you don't have it, cancel the wedding.

3. To the lovely lady in white, and her five sullen bridesmaids: tattoo coverage is key. Also, try not to walk like a farmer.

4. To the pastor: get the fucking names right you asshole. Also, why did you suggest a scripture from Jeremiah that basically says go home and start fucking because marriage = going forth and multiplying?

5. To the caterers: I'll make this as simple as possible. Red wine = warm. White wine = cold.

6. To the caterers part two: Consider taking the celery and carrots out of the plastic containers when serving. I've had better food, and better presentation, on a chartered airplane.

7. To the caterers part three: I'll simply ask the question and let you guys figure out what you did wrong. Why do I know what the sheet cake boxes looked like, how much it cost, and that someone connected with the wedding purchased enough pampers to use a huge diaper cardboard box as a container to carry the dessert into the reception?

8. To the best man: Learn what your purpose is. There is no reason why the *groom* (whom we know, but not well) should come up to me and my husband and ask us to pick up a couple kegs. What? Mr. Kiss and I actually carried the fucking kegs into the community center, until some other dude not connected with the wedding took over for me in my four inch heels. I question whether we will ever be paid back (deposits on kegs and taps can really add up, plus the fact that we bought two kegs) or whether we gave the gift of hangovers to all in attendance. Also, why were we able to simply go buy kegs and bring them in? Are the cops coming for us? I seem to recall paying way more than retail for alcohol for our reception because we couldn't simply hit a liquor store and do it ourselves.

9. A dollar dance is sketchy, but you can get away with it in some circles. However, do not do both a dollar dance AND ask your guests to circle the bride for a rousing round of "I Knew the Bride When She Used to Rock and Roll." One more thing: Is it typical for the Bride's dad to grab the butts of the female guests?

10. To the ones in charge of decorations: Do not start pulling down the tulle swaths from the walls (Using duct tape! Nice flash of silver!) while your guests are still there.

Helpful Tips For the Happy Couple
 

i havent posted here befroe, only infirmation.com. but there is a lot of talking about this bord and crticsism that it is pathetick. I'm not sure, but that wedding sounds pathetic. sorry.

Helpful Tips For the Happy Couple
 

Well hey to you too!

Helpful Tips For the Happy Couple
 

I'm Juan the Marine on the other board, so don't confuse my mindless drivel with his here, please. If only my hands were clean I'd complain about sock stealing etc.

Helpful Tips For the Happy Couple
 

Well, really, there's a little bit of Juan in all of us.

Helpful Tips For the Happy Couple
 

i don't do not appreciate being stalked.

Male Guide For the Femme Side
 

I thought I'd share this bit of spam that's making the rounds:

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now
here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please
note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it
down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving
it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the
changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going
to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
girls, don't expect us
to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't
ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant
the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us
how you want it done. Not both. If you already know
best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to
say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and
neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also
a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches , it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we
will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just
not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear is
fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the
shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to
sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men
really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Helpful Tips For the Happy Couple
 

but you don't understand, my JuANthe marine sock did great things- i actually did more to disrupt the practice of law in Canada last month than the power failure, as an example- I was looking forward to bringing juan here- ah wel, i'l live

Helpful Tips For the Happy Couple
 

i have socks aND MY SOCKS have socks andmy sock's socks have friens- you will not find respite here, this i wil promise you

Helpful Tips For the Happy Couple
 

why would yuo orr your supposed socks become hateful towards hispanic marine turned laywer? do you dislike all hispanics? all laywers? all i want is to share in the comrodery of this borde and get a free cup of coffee at my firm, por favor.

Helpful Tips For the Happy Couple
 

el norte is tough, amigo, this is why i have hesitiated to bring juan here earlier, but now you have stolen my chance, so i say to you, do not cause me to have to challenge this

Helpful Tips For the Happy Couple
 

p.s., my avatar is cool!!!!!

Helpful Tips For the Happy Couple
 

ps my typos were not intentional, I'd appreciate if you don't force typos while you are existing under my umbrella

Helpful Tips For the Happy Couple
 

where do i get done a picture like this?

Helpful Tips For the Happy Couple
 

Yes, I will be over all him just like on Infirm.

Holy Shit, Viper's 70!
 

Notable Birthdays today:
Tom Skerritt turns 70
Sean Connery is 73.

I remember watching the Emmys years back, when Skerritt was nominated for Picket Fences. (Remember when people watched shows by David E. Kelley?) If I had been the presenter and Skerritt had won, I would have been unable to prevent myself from opening the envelope and yelling, "Holy shit it's Viper!" to the Shrine Auditorium, even if I was bleeped nationwide. I can't believe this has never happened before.

In other fantasy Emmy news, Michael Ian Black should win an Emmy for outstanding droll comedy in a time-suck, basic cable clip show for his deadpan commentary on VH-1's I Love the 70's. Sample line: "The Warriors was like West Side Story, only for heterosexuals."

WTF???
 

What's with everybody posting at 11:00 p.m. on a Sunday???? You people can't possibly be that bored.

If so, go outside and stare at Mars for a couple hours. Its as bright as its been for the past 60,000 years.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...2003Aug24.html

Helpful Tips For the Happy Couple
 

Certain songs and things were explicitly banned from my wedding. Among them were the dollar dance, the funky chicken, the electric slide, and any other activity that reaked of West Virginia weddings.

On the other hand, the groomsmen did play "another one bites the dust" for your's truly...

Helpful Tips For the Happy Couple
 

GROUPS OF PEOPLE MR EBOLA HATES
.
.
.
.
14- West Virginians

Helpful Tips For the Happy Couple
 

Hates, no. Scoffs at, maybe.

Have a fine morning, bridge of West Virginian love.

This subject line has nothing to do with the post
 

I'm truly sorry. Try this instead.

Helpful Tips For the Happy Couple
 

Speaking of songs that run through your head all morning, it now appears that I will be stuck with "California Love" except for the substitution of West Virgina references.

West Virginia knows how to party, as it were. Argh.

Male Guide For the Femme Side
 

This makes me wonder why Father's day isn't in October or sometime like that. An ideal father's day for many would be being left alone in the TV room for 15 hours to watch every possible football game, uninterrupted, and with a case of brews nearby. Now that's showing love for papa.

Drink More Pinot
 

They are finally figuring out the French Paradox w/r/t to health and aging. They have found chemicals in red wine that seem to delay the aging process in rodents from 30-50%.

"According to the Oxford Companion to Wine, Pinot Noir tends to have high levels of the chemical, while Cabernet Sauvignon has lower levels. "Wines produced in cooler regions or areas with greater disease pressure, such as Burgundy and New York, often have more resveratrol," the book says, whereas wines from drier climates like California or Australia have less.

Besides resveratrol, another class of chemical found to mimic caloric restriction is that of the flavones, found abundantly in olive oil, Dr. Howitz said. "

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp...ertainredwines

Justification
 

"Dear Miss Manners:

When did it become against the "law" to wear pearls in the daytime? Is it okay to wear pearls to a big fancy luncheon?

Gentle Reader:

Wearing pearls day or night was illegal under periodic sumptuary laws in Venice and Florence between the 16th and 18th centuries, but Miss Manners understands that they have since been repealed. Pearls are now properly worn at any hour. Just don't let her catch you running around decked in diamonds before dusk. "

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...2003Aug23.html

BR(bowing left, bowing right)C

Drink More Pinot
 

If I remain pleasantly drunk, I guess I won't even notice that the damn rats are living longer.

Drink More Pinot
 

So...the french are rats? Cool.

This subject line has nothing to do with the post
 

The cure: "Monchichi, monchichi, oh so soft and cuddely" and if that doesn't work try "Ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang
Walla walla, bing bang"

No sex for you!
 

http://www.jsonline.com/news/metro/aug03/163688.asp

Never mind having sex with an adult, apparently, 14 year olds aren't allowed to have sex with each other.

Wedding Question
 

Uhh, not being from West Virginia and having never attended a wedding involving West Virginians, can you tell me what the dollar dance is?

Anne
I'll duck back behind my rock now.

Wedding Question
 

I've seen it mostly among lower-income couples. Guests line up to "pay" the bride a dollar for a dance. The dollar is usually tucked into a little satin bag the bride wears on her wrist during this part of the reception.

Horribly tacky or a sensible tradition for young families for whom a couple hundred extra bucks can really make a difference?

Wedding Question
 

I think that grooms do it as well.

Guess its the last time the bride and groom can whore themselves out to the masses before the wedding night....

Wedding Question
 

I've witnessed it at a wedding of a very wealthy family.

Albeit the wedding of a very wealthy southern Indiana family, NTTAWWT.

Wedding Question
 

Yes. And if they'd only strip off the puffy white dress and full-body tuxedo and really grind for the crowd, they'd make a hell of a lot more money.

Wedding Question
 

Is this in case the money tree at the door doesn't bear enough fruit.

Good lord, what's next? Cash bars?

Wedding Question
 

Well, as long as the bride hasn't already tossed the garter....

Wedding Question
 

I actually attended couple weddings at Officer Clubs where there were cash bars. I don't know if it was a base regulation not to give away boozie, or if the wedding party was being ultra cheap.

Actually, at another wedding, the groom apparently asked the groomsmen to pony up for a keg to be purchased at the local beer store......

I think I need to be more selective about the weddings I attend.

Wedding Question
 

Originally posted by purse junkie
Guests line up to "pay" the bride a dollar for a dance. The dollar is usually tucked into a little satin bag the bride wears on her wrist during this part of the reception.

never saw this at a wedding, but did see Tyrone S' sisters doing something sort of like this at a bachelor party, I don't think they were brides, and it wasn't really dancing. oh and by the time they were halfway through the line they weren't wearing much, and certainly not a little satin bag.