Separation agitation
 

I'll assume you haven't read It takes A Village. Of course, if you have you're just fucking with people with this post.

Separation agitation
 

Me too!!!!!!!!!!!!

Separation agitation
 

Yes, I may be worrying too much. First and only kid. What can I say.

But mostly I was wondering - any suggestions how to transition LP to daycare?

Separation agitation
 

My first is LP's age, and I'm just going to send her to daycare. She'll either adapt, or not. That's what the first kid is for--experimentation. We have a backup kid.

Separation agitation
 

See, this is how paigow can slowly turn black into white. Obsession is not the same thing as love. Remember, I'm anti-bedshitting, but somehow my mythology got mixed up with MR's, and now I'm somehow regarded as coprophilic. Or -phagic. Not so.

The rest of y'all is whiffers.

Separation agitation
 

My oldest was in daycare starting at 3 months. Even though he'd known his providers for almost his entire life to that point, separation anxiety began displaying itself at the ordinary time anyway. We got through it. BTW, Fringey is completely right that reappearance can restart the clock on crying --- because daycare was on my wife's worksite, if she so much as walked by the playground fence he'd start bawling.

The best you can do is not be overly possessive of the kid --- let em play and be held by people other than Mom and Dad as regularly as possible. Em may inevitably have separation anxiety, but there are things you can to do avert stranger anxiety, which is different. If the kid whinges when being held by someone else when Mom is in the room, you've got two problems to face instead of one.

Also, a kid at 15 months has only limited ways of expressing emotion, and you're hard-wired to think of crying as indicating a problem that needs to be solved because that's the way it works in infancy (sometimes). Now you need to think of crying as the way LP is solving em's own problem. Which doesn't mean you don't comfort, but it also doesn't mean you necessarily need to change the environment in which the crying started to stop the crying, as you did before.

Separation agitation
 

What do I win?

Separation agitation
 

A kid! Whoo-hoo!

The Not Bobette is on her way to you as we speak. With a note pinned to her sweater telling you her favorite foods, etc. She's past the whining and crying stage. Mostly.

Separation agitation
 

Whoo hoo! Dinner! I will make a stew that incorporates her favorite foods. Because that's what she'd want, right?

Separation agitation
 

Damn. If you react this way to offers of a kid who is already toilet trained (and has pretty good taste in music), I pity the man who tries to give you a baby.

Substantive advice to SHP (because this isn't the FB, Not Bob!) -- we had kind of the same problem when our daughter started day care. The first few times were hard, but she eventually learned to associate the place with fun, and so didn't cry when we left. And like someone else pointed out, she only cried when we were actually present, and started to have fun after about 5 to 10 minutes of wailing.

Separation agitation
 

Alls I know is you're not so afraid of it to take your snazzy wifi-accessing, multimedia-serving powerbook into the can with you. You may fear the reaper, but not the crapper.

Separation agitation
 

That's a relief. The idea of five to ten minutes of wailing is fine with me. It's the thought of her sitting crying for hours that's wigging us out.

Hmmm...maybe the problem isn't her, but her parents? Nah....

Separation agitation
 

They rarely cry for hours just because of separation. They may, at day care/with a sitter, occasionally do the inexplicable crying for hours that happens at home too, or be crying for hours because they are sick and overtired or whatever and something sets them off but the sick/tired is what keeps them going, but the separation thing is short. They make do with what they have. Quite philisophical of the little shits.

Separation agitation
 

Right. The same way Kerry was anti-terrorism. Flip flopper.

Happy Mother's Day
 

Someone sent me this for Mother's Day - enjoy.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...050701002.html

Call for Disaster Relief

Sunday, May 8, 2005; Page D02

Here is something special that everyone can do for mothers -- all mothers:

Stop telling them disaster stories.

How it came to be believed that Things Gone Hideously Wrong is the favorite genre of mothers, Miss Manners cannot say. But any lady who is so much as eligible for motherhood will find herself treated to this form of entertainment.

Potential mothers, a category no longer considered to be limited to married ladies, are a new target. Any lady without children is considered a suitable audience for stories about those who "waited too long" and underwent dreadful procedures.

In some of these tales, the lady never succeeds in becoming pregnant and, after using up all her money, energy and hope, faces a bitter and lonely old age. In others, she produces an abnormal child and uses up all her money, energy and hope in the unsuccessful effort to give that child a happy life. A third version has her producing a litter of so many children that she uses up . . . and so on.

Those who are already pregnant also get to hear deformed-child stories. But there is a new twist, in that the deformity becomes the result of ordinary behavior on the part of the mother, which is newly thought to be harmful. Other topics considered of interest to expectant mothers are horrific labor, stillbirths, weight that never comes off and fathers who go off.

"Your life will never be the same again" is the usual refrain.

True enough, but why is it said in a doleful, rather than congratulatory, tone?

When the baby is born, the mother is thought ready to hear stories about sudden infant death syndrome and common household arrangements that have taken on the ability to snuff out young lives. That serious birth defects may be imperceptible at this time is another favorite theme.

As the child develops, the mother will be asked if he or she has reached this or that stage of development -- here comes the ominous word -- "yet." It seems that everyone keeps a calendar of achievement.

Later, the focus of disaster stories moves to the outside world. Preschools are said to put vulnerable children through a selection process that leaves them and their parents psychological wrecks. Failure means that the child will never have enough skills to earn a living. Success means that his family will no longer have enough to live on. Using public schools means that between the drugs and the guns, he may not live anyway.

It gets even more exciting for the mothers of teenagers, who are told about car fatalities and sexually transmitted diseases and the impossibility of getting into college without already having a Nobel Prize and an Olympic trophy.

Miss Manners realizes that people say these things to mothers because they don't know what else to say. She recommends dropping the category of potential mother, saying "Congratulations" to expectant mothers, "How adorable!" to new mothers and, to the rest, "So -- how are the kids?"

Happy Mother's Day
 

A certain poster who shall remain nameless, insists on asking me if the kids are still alive every time we PM. It's a little insulting, really. I mean, you forget one baby at the landromat, and suddenly you're an unfit dad. Jeez.

A Survey
 

(1) How many kids?
(2) Ages?
(3) How many times a week/month/year do you go out sans kids?
(4) How many times a week/month/year do you have sex?

Happy Mother's Day
 

Wouldn't have been so bad if you hadn't left him in the dryer, but then, in that case you probably wouldn't have forgotten him either.

Happy Mother's Day
 

At least we got to skip the bath that night.

A Survey
 

One kid, age 4.5. One prospective kid, age -3 months.

We go out on a "date" (usually dinner for a birthday or anniversary) only a few times a year, plus a few more for grownups-only parties (which reminds me, I need to get a babysitter for a week from Saturday--thanks). If we had more kids, or a kid who was more of a hassle (ours plays nicely by himself, doesn't break things or whine, and goes to bed early), we'd probably go more often.

Frequency of sex has varied widely over the last year or two. Lots when we were trying to conceive on our own, very little during the whole IVF process, not much during morning sickness, then quite a bit more during the now-apparently-and-unfortunately-ended sex dreams phase (Thurgreed fondling my breasts was the least of it). Ask me again next year.

tm

A Survey
 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by OscarCrease
(1) How many kids?
(2) Ages?
(3) How many times a week/month/year do you go out sans kids?
(4) How many times a week/month/year do you have sex?
____________________

1) - 2
2) - 3, 2
3) - alone or with spouse? er... daily to gym in am, regular date night, at least 2 long weekends a year w/o kids, alternate year week vacation w/o kids - as well as misc events
4) hmmm.... frequently enough that this question is difficult to answer!

ml

A Survey
 

1, almost 2.

17mos and due next month.

If I can't remember the last time, I suppose it's been too long. A couple times/year to a show or something big. We take the kid to eat usually - he's very good.

Less now that I'm massive and exhausted with impending giganto-baby #2. Bare minimum 1x/week, even now.

A Survey
 

A Survey
 

(1) two
(2) 8 and 16
(3) three or four times a year
(4) a couple times a month, or did you mean with the wife?

A Survey
 

Is this survey in celebration of the anniversary of the birth control pill?

A Survey
 

when my kids were little we started having a dinner date on Tuesday or Wednesday every week. A regular babysitter is easy those night. No long thing, just 7-9 dinner. Actually throw in the occassional hotel visit.

Just having the regular date make a big difference in keeping sane and close through those early kids years (and we NEVER went on vacation w/o them so we're not "avoid the kids" people)

A Survey
 

If he got in before 9 during the week (hell, weekends too), that would be great, esp since the kid is in bed by 7p. Goddamn workaholic lawyers..... Usually we only have time for take-out and sex.

A non-wierd post by Hank? I'm stunned. Or maybe that's a contraction? No, I'm definitely stunned.

A Survey
 

If you go back like 2 years you'll see that I used to give the best advice here. But no one listened. So now I'm just a nuisance sock- c'est la vie!

A Survey
 

(1) One
(2) One
(3) A couple of times per year; usually we take advantage of visiting grandparents. Grandma and Grandpa are in town right now, actually, having promised to babysit so we can go have dinner & a movie. Unfortunately, they caught a horrible GI bug from the Trepidation Kid or one of his little playmates and are now sequestered in a hotel room taking turns worshipping the porcelain god. Pretty rough on them at their age, I feel badly.
(4) About 1-2x per week. Seems to depend on my work schedule.

That is good advice, Hank; I've got the same scheduling problems as TexLex's hubby, unfortunately. Still, I need to practice setting some boundaries regarding work, so maybe scheduling a mid-week date night would be a good experiment. Just need to find a willing sitter, though....

A Survey
 

(1) two, a third due in September
(2) 3.5 and 1.5
(3) when my wife is pregnant, about once every two months; when she is not pregnant, about once every three weeks. We have two grandmas that live nearby and have a pool of about four other babysitters from which we draw
(4) when my wife is pregnant, about once every three weeks; when she is not pregnant, about twice a week

A Survey
 

4 kids

4, 6, 8, 10

If on vacation at grandparents, 2-3 times per week
If on vacation otherwise, 0 if we don't trust sitting; 1-2 if we do; 4-5 if we bring along someone (which we've only done a couple of times)
If not on vacation, about twice per month, except in summer, when about 1 - 2 per week

Varies mainly depending on work - Once per week (we hope) if I'm coming home at midnight every night, 2-3 per week otherwise

A Survey
 

(1) 2
(2) 2.5, .5
(3) Together -- maybe once or twice per month.
(4) Together ? What's that?

S_A_M

Double Strollers
 

I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm going to need a double stroller if I intend to leave the house in the next couple years. Anyone have any comments? I think a side-by-side is out, since I will have a big baby and a (relatively) little one and don't want it to go in circles. That monstrosity, the Graco Duoglider, seems to be the most populer, but I'd prefer something lighter/less bulky, if possible. I'm not sure what I want exists. Anyone?

BTW, #2 appears to be measuring bigger than the Lexling for the same age (ie. already 6lbs at 32w). Thank god for c-sections.

Double Strollers
 

A neighbor with a 3yo and a 1you has one of these:


http://www.getgozo.com/img/two_product.jpg


http://www.getgozo.com/two.html

Seems to work for her and her kids, but I haven't gotten her talking about it much. So I could be wrong.

Double Strollers
 

We have a double stroller and do not even try to use it anymore. It's so big that it's hard to get in our (not-small) car. And we don't want to use it in our 'hood because the ground is not flat and the stroller threatens to take off on you on a slope -- fully loaded, the weight is considerable, so the spectre of inertia* really keeps you on your toes. (Perhaps my kids are lineman-sized, but so are yours.) By my lights, if I'm trying to transport both kids, I'd rather have one in a backpack and the other in a single stroller. Or lately we've also been using a Radio Flyer wagon.

* Originally one of Atticus's socks, I think.

Double Strollers
 

I suggest looking for this feature in your next stroller:

"Locking caliper brakes and safety leash keep driver in control"

Double Strollers
 

"Safety leash ensures lightweight drivers won't miss any of the downhill fun."

Double Strollers
 

Hint: walk baby THEN start drinking

Double Strollers
 

I'm in Houston: we do not have hills, unless you count curbs or dead armadillos.

While #2 is small, I will try to use a single and the Bjorn where practical (but after about 18lbs, it kills my back, so its use is limited) or a single and a baby leash for #1 (yes, I'm mean like that).

And how does one fit groceries in the cart with a kid in the seat and a baby bucket in the main part of the cart? Eat less? Shop more often? Order in?

On an unrelated note, I have a mama raccoon and 6 adorable babies noshing on my back porchat this very moment. They like leftovers. And apple cores. And the 3lbs of cat food I left for them. I am such a sucker.

Double Strollers
 

You clearly don't know my kids.