Pet Peeve
 

Well, I didn't disclose all relevant facts. First, I didn't need to make my package look bigger. I'm on the better endowed side of average (I'm not fully Irish). But why the hell not experiment? So, no... there's not a stitch of insecurity. Perhaps boredom, perhaps a touch of latent metrosexuality, but not insecurity. Hell, I'm hitched anyway... If I was small she wouldn't have married me, and I've got no one to impress... although the Mrs. very much did dig the trim factor. She claims its much more attractive when trimmed...

Anyway, since you're new, I have a habit of contradicting my own positions within the same post, so don't mind me. My grey matter is rather weatherbeaten and perhaps even a tad defective, but occasionally every blinf pig finds an acorn, so I'm good for a pearl of wisdom or a laugh from time to time.

S(hardly the court jester, sometimes the court drunk, and never the wise moderate elder)D

Pet Peeve
 

That has been the vibe I was going for. PLF said people would think it edgy.

Pet Peeve
 

YMMV = your mileage may vary.

Acro
 

Your mileage may vary. I usually take it to mean "you may experience this differently." This may be incorrect.

Being a good host and guest
 

Start out a prole? I wasn't born a lawyer if that is what you mean. I was a lawyer by the time I met hubby. They are his friends that we entertain but it isn't caviar and $500 a bottle wine -- more like steaks and beer/margaritas/etc. -- so we certainly aren't trying to be pretentious.

Pet Peeve
 

You're taking advice from PLF? Ah.

Pet Peeve
 

You should have done a "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours" and recommended a moby before the show-and-tell was actually done.

BTW, now that it is done, be sure to post it to the breasticle page.

Being a good host and guest
 

Sigh. The discussion is no longer really about you, sweetheart.

But I'm glad to hear about the margaritas -- where's my invitation? I promise not to bring anything.

Pet Peeve
 

After working for the asshole who used to do this, that's my policy too. If he hadn't had an impact on my paycheck I would have done it more often to him than I did.

Pet Peeve
 

This blows me away. After reading about disco mitts and brazilians and suffering through waxing and trimming and shaving and whatnot, a gal is still likely to stumble across a a mister disco mitt without trying to hard? Every fucking last guy I have gone out with had to be taught to trim if they wanted head. Yet I am (nearly) always a neat and presentable package and never a disco mitt. Yes I may have chewed gum while going down on a guy when i was in college, but I thought he would enjoy it. Turned out to be the first trimmed guy I ever had. And I never looked back. Boys, trim. Pubes in the throat is not a pleasant experience and washing it down with clorox tinged splooge doesnt help. I just want a trim and a facial.

How can your wife have put up with this for so long, Sebby? Hvent you guys emerged from the eighties?

Acro
 

Take this to the chandler bing board of acronyms . this is more than I can bear

Other Bon Mots and Deep Thoughts
 

The reference on For Love or Money to whether Chad was like other SF guys" was a reference to being a player, as Paigow noted.

To whomever brought up the dating game answer by the wife about the mst unusual place that couple made Whoopee being "in the butt, Bob," that is true, but the husband's answer on the card was "in the car" not on the kitchen table. That is my game-show trivia Timmy moment for the day.

I will be traveling to Scandinavia soon and would appreciate any advice on where to stay, eat, drink, pick up chicks, and vomit in Copenhagen, Goteborg, Oslo, Bergen, Talinn, Helsinki and Stockholm. PMs or IMs to save the rest the boredom, but please cc Thurgreed because I know he is fascinated with all things personal.

Pet Peeve
 

I think more detail is required. To what length? Shave, pluck, cut, or wax? Is it different for different parts of the genital area? Should we leave landing strips or soul patches?

Pet Peeve
 

How about heart shaped??? Or a cross?

Pet Peeve
 

And yet, you make fun of those that do.

Hypocrite, get thee to a nunnery.

notHairy

Pet Peeve
 

Nuns shave?

Who knew?

Other Bon Mots and Deep Thoughts
 

gee, I hope it isnt in the next couple of weeks bc paigowapalooza will be in or around Healdsburg then and it just woudlnt be the same without you. Think of all the wine and the impending gloom of another birthday. you might just have a chance.

Hello? McFly?
 

Now I picture you looking Biff from Back to the Future.

Thurgreed(make like a tree and beat it)Marshall

Pet Peeve
 

Dude, there is a difference between a nice haircut and a full body Kojak.

To answer Less's question, and I realize that other gal's mileage may vary, and since that is what his options are, he should take this with that stupid fucking disclaimer, I like enough hair so that the man is a man, but not so much that I have the Larry David problem from going down on Cheryl. No designs necessary (unless you have an originial idea that is good for a chuckly- nobody has yet to do a design for me) Wow, my second Curb reference in one day. excellent.

Regifting your used porno?
 

I love reading over people's shoulders. Especially letters that they're writing. I was waiting outside a coffee shop the other day and saw a guy writing a letter who looked like he wouldn't know how to read or write. Intrigued, I glanced at the page. It started: "Dear _____, well I guess this is the end of the road." Damn. Poor guy.

Str(cause we are the aqua teens, make the homies say ho and the girlies wanna scream)8

Other Bon Mots and Deep Thoughts
 

They showed a clip very similar to this in the Newlywed Game segment on "I love the 70's" (1971, I think, but I could be wrong). They showed a woman holding up a card in response to this question with the answer "In the Fanny" written on it...

Confidential to Mr. Hand
 

Summer school is over.

Carry on.

Pet Peeve
 

I stand by that. Don't listen to little fibber. She only gained her insider status because she posted thousands of times a week. That's how she got her crack ho label. Or maybe not. I never paid too much attention to all that. Anyway, I earned my insider status the old fashioned way - by sucking up to other insiders. Laughing at their jokes. Referencing them in poems and song parodies about the FB. Flying out to New York and buying them drinks. Posting to them in an overly familiar manner to impress other insiders. That sort of thing. And trust me, it worked like a charm. If I say your rambling, gramatically-shaky style is edgy and subversive, then it is. Stick with me kid - you're going places.

Pet Peeve
 

Yup, that sounds about right. Nothing like the tried and tested way of getting insider status. Works here, works on club scenes, works on just about every scene with self-proclaimed insiders.

Pet Peeve
 

I'm inside, but I'll be going outside later to the farmer's market. After that, I'll be inside again.

This seems simple to me, and requires no sucking up. Is that a big-city thing? Do they not let you go inside there? If this is true, I have to wonder why no one ever admits to this in those "quality of life" discussions. That would suck.

Pet Peeve
 

Only the partners get to be inside. The associates are kept outside shivering in the rain and slop until they hit 2200 billables.

It's so sweet, how you let even the lowliest attorney inside in the Patch.

Confidential to Mr. Hand
 

Better? Anything else you'd like to share with the class?

I'd offer you a cookie but there is absolutely no eating (of any kind, NTTAWWT) in my class.

Pet Peeve
 

Ah, I see the disconnect now.

I guess we actually do have the same admittance system as you.

(You guys have lowly attorneys there, uh?)

Pet Peeve
 

1. I prefer fucking to blow jobs. I'll get hummers more often when I'm old and decrepit. At this stage in my life, when I'm rather agile and can still fuck, why the hell wouldn't I? I can get hummers in front of the television while sucking down manhattans and watching football when I'm 90. Those taking hummers left and right in their 20s - 40s will regret it someday when they're too old and arthritic to fuck... Besides, a fucking orgasm is much better, especially if she comes at the same time. She ain't going to cum sucking your dick.

2. I'm not that hairy. A buddy of mine has a photo of himself standing naked under a waterfall in Spain. He's so hairy, you can't see his dick. That's fucking gross. I never had that problem. I could always see my dick... no matter how cold the water was...

3. Most guys don't trim anything. You hang out with too many metrosecuals. You think that 40 year old partner you dealt with last week trims? I doubt it.

Pet Peeve
 

Actually, I don't hang out with metrosexuals at all. Either they ar gay or they are straight. Old skool. And I dont think trimming the pubes means the guy's is on the downward slide into fuzzy sweaters, man panties and man perfume. its a common courtesy. I dont want to hear about disco mitts if the guy cant return the favor. And whats weird is, I get the sense that my legion of non trimming before me exes might not have cared if I indeed did disco mitt, so I guess it aint a double standrad. but if they did, then it is. one ghuy actually told me that he preferred me not to brazilian, but that since we would be together a long time, variety was cool. thats right, i had a rquest for more hair. but then I dont have that nasty dark course stuff most of you people have.

A guy in a bear suit walks into a bar...
 

So I guess those Labatt's Blue commercials with the playa bear are more accurate than I first thought

Pet Peeve
 

I hope our software upgrade contains a spell-check option.

Pet Peeve
 

Most men I know trim or shave. They are not what I would call close to being metrosexuals, nor are they overwhelmingly hairy.

(The NYT embrace of the term metrosexual has spawned several synonyms -- my favorite, though less accurate, is heterogay.)

Confidential to Mr. Hand
 

Ahh, detention. Now I feel right at home. Thank you Mr. Hand for giving me some order and structure in my life. I really was only acting out because I needed some attention. Now I'll have plenty of time to write that book report that I have been putting off.

Pet Pube Peeve
 

I actually have no problem with depth of pubes. In fact, sometimes if it grows in thick its reminiscent of 80s centerfolds and interesting from a retro perspective ("hey, I used to TCB to chicks like that when I was 14"). HOWEVER, letting it grow out in all directions on the sides is not sexy and very much reminiscent of bad hook ups with crunchy chicks in college who talked a good talk but sucked in the sack (a person pretending to be something they're not generally isn't good in bed because one has to let his/her ihhibitions down to be good between the sheets).

So you're a natural blonde? Or are you saying you've got soft pubes? If its (a), then good for you. That's a cool look. If its (b), get over yourself - 90% of chicks have soft pubes.

By the way, the worst pube color is brown or red. Brown is dull and provides minimal contrast - thus, its boring to look at. Red just doesn't look good to me. I don't like redheads either, so I think its a color taste thing. Black or blonde is preferable.

The Brazilian is boring at this point because everyone has one and everyone has tried it.

Pet Peeve
 

How do you know this? Do guys discuss this sort of thing over beer in between sports scores and commments about that chick over there's rack? It sounds more like a conversation women might have.

Not impugning your man-ness. Just sincerely curious.

Pet Peeve
 

Come on. Pretty much everyone here would agree with him.

Pet Pube Peeve
 

I hesitate to ask, but what is depth of pubes? length? as opposed to having it all over the place, like on the sides and with a hairway?

and, i can tell you over PM, bc its outable. bc I am a stripper but I have never met a man with soft pubes. how can it be so commone for women but not men?

Pet Peeve
 

Well, its talked about a fair bit these days. You think this board is that unique?

Guys talk about lots of wierd shit. I recall the topic arose for the first time when a buddy of mine was golfing with his father in law to be and had to take a group shower afterward. He forgot that being rather trimmed might appear wierd to an older man, particularly an older man who'd fathered his future wife. He asked for opinions from a bunch of us, and so the conversation began and the topic has been raised every once in a while since...

Pet Pube Peeve
 

I have no idea whether men have soft pubes... I haven't gone down on a man since I was kicked out of being an altar boy for drinking holy wine.

Depth is, yes, length.

S(The term is erotic dancer, not stripper)D