ACL
 

No, you don't.

You can always lease.

BOTD?

ACL
 

I just checked my bedside table drawer. I have a tin of this stuff in the Nice Melons flavor. This means something, but I don't know what...

another dumb law student
 

When did Cleveland secede from Ohio to form its own state?

ACL
 

You should've gone with "shaved peach." "Bold, Bare and Brazen, your peachy pucker will be in popular demand!"

Female friendly porn.
 

Thanks for the rec. I think thtat's the movie that we had seen. Well, at least had seen a while of it. We never made it until the lesbian scene or the big group grope.

What's the FB come to, where there are more recommendations for tax evasion on second homes than there are for porn?

The horror, the horror.

Female friendly porn.
 

I've been on vacation.

ACL
 

Technically, I think I did.

I certainly facilitated the evening when RT's true nature was revealed.

Tax Advice Needed!!
 

You can donate it to charity. Or sell it at no gain.


Hahahahahaahahaahaha. You corporate types crack me up.

ACL
 

Facilitating is one thing, actually earning a toaster is something quite different.

Speaking of making it clear one is a lesbian, Mrs. Eaze and I were at something this weekend and all of a sudden she nudged me and said, "does that hat say what I think it says? Ewww." When I looked over I saw a rather (unattractive) butch looking older woman with a hat that read "Female Body Inspector" This woman, not surprisingly, proceeded to be impressively obnoxious throughout the day.

That would do the job RT. Of course, most lesbians would look at you and go eww, but the men would be impressed.

http://store1.yimg.com/I/incrediblegifts_1807_529424

Tax Advice Needed!!
 

The investment property/like kind exchange gambit is the one I've seen. It might work. Then again, ....

If you put it in a charitable remainder trust, you may get some benefits, but we need someone who knows more than me about this to tell you what you can and can't get with a CRT.

Tax Advice Needed!!
 

Good one. Much like the following helpful golf tip: If you find you're really not improving after a lot of practice, etc., go back and take up the game at a much younger age.


But seriously folks...., I was looking at the IRS website last night (good times, good times), and I think I saw that the two-year time period doesn't need to be contiguous. SO...if I've spent 730 days of the last five years there, does that count?

Tax Advice Needed!!
 

Yes, you're right (that IRS website is pretty informative -- I recommend it for some light reading before bedtime!). Unfortunately, we haven't made many improvements, but landscaping counts, so we have done some of that, new windows and updating electric (although I'm not certain I have the bill for that -- maybe the electrician could do a new one?). However, not enough to make a big dent in the gains.

Don't get me wrong -- I'm thrilled our junky little weekend house has turned into such a bonanza for us -- but tens of thousands of dollars owed in taxes (when I wasn't expecting to have to pay them) really smarts. (Ouch -- thaaaat's gonna leave a mark.)

another dumb law student
 

Since you already went back to edit and change "prarie" to "prairie," you might as well edit again to change "Ivys" to "Ivies."

- Pretty Little Flower
Encouraging mental discipline online since 2000.

Tax Advice Needed!!
 

That probably explains why you're too cheap to pay a lawyer for tax advice.


(I'm feeling really pissy this morning, sorry)

Tax Advice Needed!!
 

Burn it down for the insurance money. Full value of the house and no taxes, plus you save those pesky agent commissions and title search expenses.

another dumb law student
 

You know your little proof reading skills have market value, not as much as they had prior to Spill-Check, but some value remains. Based upon your education, and what I can tell of your skills, you are qualified to be a secretary at a good law firm. Congrats! I took the liberty of passing a note onto my HR department to consider you. I wrote that you would have some familiarity with legal terms- is that accurate? I'd hate to be seen as puffing.

another dumb law student
 

Were you born unfunny or did some life-changing event strip you of any humor you may have had?

TM

another dumb law student
 

I think his problem is huffing, not puffing. The poor boy's obviously on fucking glue.

Word to the wise
 

If you're going to go out and booze it up, be sure to wear stiletto heels.

Booze, fashion and sound legal advice. What a trifecta.

Tax Advice Needed!!
 

well, DUH! I'm too cheap to pay a doctor when I have members of my family who won't charge me too. (Penny saved, blah blah blah.)

Tax Advice Needed!!
 

Does this mean you're giving up the horse-trainer?

Tax Advice Needed!!
 

I think he's the one they sold the house to.

Tax Advice Needed!!
 

Pffft. As if.

Help
 

About an hour ago i started to get a pain in my stomach so bad I feel like I want to die. What does an apendicitis feel like? Ulcer?

Help
 

Jump from about 1-2 feet up on to the ground. If you double over in more intense pain, get to the hospital right away. If the pain does not notably increase from the jump, it's probably not your appy but it still could be something bad, so you might as well go in.

(but note, getting healtcare advice from lawyers on the internet is even worse than seeking anonymous tax advice here).

Female friendly porn.
 

Ah, vacation. I could really run with this, BUT . . .

I know all you lookie loos are dying for a more detailed account of ACL and now that I have had sufficient recovery time I am happy to oblige. Please understand that the views expressed in this post are mine alone and may not reflect the expreriences of other ACLers, reality, or the fine ACL promoters, who are probably too busy counting their money to read this board.

The ACL experience started a little early this year. RT and I met with e/o and her Band of Vampires (BOVs). We met at a chic restaurant/nightclub called [name not remembered] for Mexitinis, Dos Equis, Makers Mark, some coffee liqueur handed out by the friendly coffee liqueur promotions chick, and something red served in overly large Burgandy glasses. The BOVs were in fine form, providing many laughs and their hypnotic aura that seemed to attract chicks that boosted my self-esteem from being seen within 10 feet of them. During the riotous conversation with the BOVs, they announced that RT was a lesbian (or, in the alternative, that she and I are sleeping together), speculated and commented upon the probablity of my rib-eating Cherokee ancestry, and determined that one of them would marry RT's sister in order to lounge on the porch at the ranch while ice cream was hand-made for him by a crew of peasant Mexicans. The BOVs also discussed a friend of theirs, the Whiney Bitch, while he sat at the opposite end of the table, quietly whining and bitching.

We left, Cherokee war-whooping up Lavaca to go to [name not remembered]. The BOVs led us past the lines and through the velvet rope to a chic bar featuring nonintrusive techno music, minimalist interior design, and even more minimalist clothing on the unending stream of exceptional Texas beauties flowing through the door. My jaw was glued to the floor and this facilitated the hasty consumption of alcohol. We drank a bunch of things and a lot of them. One of the BOVs politely declined my offer of a krumping showdown, so I sat in the overstuffed chairs and took in the scenery which, in addition to the lovelies, included several current and former professional athletes and, I think, Billy Idol.

Next we went to [denomine no recordado], but didn't stay long because no one but RT knew how to salsa. The BOVs next war-whooped us through another velvet rope to [name not remembered], where things start to get really fuzzy for me, but I remember there being drinks and music. And I think there may have been dancing between cocktails made with what I recall as being Ketel One and Scope.

I was informed that e/o's sex dungeon was booked for the evening, so I somehow managed to be transported to Casa de Shifter. Was it a dream, or was there naked outdoor frolicking involving pecan branches and tilapia?

Help
 

the standing up to jump almost killed me, but the jump itself did not. I jsut called my doctor and they ahve no appointments today....i'm wondering whether I should go to the ER.

another dumb law student
 

I've tried to debate this issue with you here, but through no fault of your's, no one can really argue with you about aethetics. I will simply note that several people here, who are objectively funny, think I'm funny.*

However, i am willing to acept the possible truth of your statement. Thus, unless I recieve 6 PM's from people I find funny telling me they find me funny, I will no longer try and post any attempts at humor on the FB. I will continue to engage in fish cooking/music/income tax talks, but limited to factual input.

If you are correct, you will have made a great stride towards improving this board. Notably the 17 posts so far today will be reduced to 14, minus my 1 and the 2 corrective criticisms.

*Unless I am the victim of a massive campaign to convince me to post more by people who hate my posts.

Help
 

Where in your stomach? Appendix is lower right. Gall bladder is upper right. Stomach is upper left, mostly. Pancreas a little lower on the left. Ovaries just above the crease on either side. The middle of your stomach is mostly small intestine.

tm

Help
 

You're fucking kidding me, right?

Did you describe your symptoms to a nurse on the telephone at your doctor's office? Did they suggest you go to the ER?

If the answer to any of these questions is no, you are without question the dumbest person I've ever known.

another dumb law student
 

You two sound like a bunch of 7 year old Appleton City school boys comparing penis size. "Mine's bigger." "No, mine's bigger." Guess what, boys? You both have tiny wee wees and ...

http://img48.exs.cx/img48/5682/goodforyou.jpg

Help
 

Don't encourage her. We like it when stupid people die before they get a chance to breed.

Help
 

Even on both sides and it starts at teh end of my rib cage and goes to about 2-3" past my navel. Area is about six inches wide from side to side. but i'm not very wide, so it's a pretty large area.

Help
 

Though perhaps a different example than the one I usually offer, let me use this occasion to reiterate my call for making Lawtalkers "web-cam-enabled."

Help
 

No, no, no -- there is a longstanding tradition of people seeking medical advice from their imaginary FB friends. Seriously.

I say we start a pool. And since I came up with the idea, I get first pick -- and I pick "gastroenteritis."

I hope you feel better soon, sunny. (And I hope I win the pool, too, but that is because I am a self-centered prick.)

Help
 

I'm guessing she just got some bad horse meat.

Help
 

Like Catherine the Great?

Help
 

Ecotopic pregnancy.

2.

Help
 

Those are so much better than the pregnancies that harm the environment.

Help
 

Geez, way to kick a girl when she's down.

Does anyone else wonder how the bunny types when she's in so much pain? I'm thinking of the Castle Aaaaaaarrrrgggghhhhh.