Rita victim assistance
 

Whoa-oh.

Rita victim assistance
 

I never drink a tea until I've had the opportunity to tour the factory.

Rita victim assistance
 

You know, you're smarter than you look.

Which works out nicely, as I'm dumber than I sound. I might even be the dumbest thing in the WHOLE WORLD.

Rita victim assistance
 

R. Kelly breathed new life into the issue, and we're about 200 days behind the newss cycle in these parts... add it up.

Rita victim assistance
 

Whom?

bah dum bah bum bum bum Its Bash JLH time!
 

Thought I woudl take a quick scan of some tv reviews and apparently the Ghost Whisperer isn't doing terribly smashingly.

From the SFCHRON

How else to explain Jennifer Love Hewitt in a rip-off of "Medium" called "Ghost Whisperer" on CBS? She talks to dead people. She also acts as if she's dead. And somebody clearly killed her hairstyle. None of that matters, however, as males and females, gays and straights, dogs and cats, grandparents, fish, etc., will only be able to stare at her breasts. No series in recent memory has put so much attention on a pair of breasts. It's laughably ridiculous. You can't escape them. Hewitt is in her nightgown half the time and then in shirts three sizes too small the other half. In one scene the strap of her shoulder bag prominently divides her breasts. If you can watch that scene without laughing, you're too desperate by half.

Rita victim assistance
 

Nuts!

The weather gods hate me
 

If this isn't slang for some sex act or drug use, I am disappointed.

The weather gods hate me
 

I'll upset Thurgreed's delicate sensibilities if I answer this.

The weather gods hate me
 

"Not slang, so much as correlation."

bah dum bah bum bum bum Its Bash JLH time!
 

My guess is she can float through six episodes on those things. By this time next year, we'll be talking about her Playboy spread.

I'd go further and say she'll be a meth-addled skeleton with dried semen crusted to her lower lip, carrying herself with a just-been-gang-banged limp by 2007... BUT, I'm not sure she has the grey matter to enjoy drugs. I think she'll end up marrying that guy Brooke Burke just divorced and pump out a few brats. After she breast feeds and those things become Natl Geographic Aboriginal pictorial tits, she'll get massive janice Dickinson implants and make a comeback from the brink with a reality show about her and her fat, dim children. Episode One - JHL drives the Porsche through the marble Venus De milo in the front yard.

The weather gods hate me
 

Reverse blumpkin with shocker follow up.

bah dum bah bum bum bum Its Bash JLH time!
 

Confidential to Mr. Man:

Try not to leave any prints or dna.

Rita victim assistance
 

Chianti? Was it a guido artist? Was this South Philly?

bah dum bah bum bum bum Its Bash JLH time!
 

By laughing, he means, like, after you're done, right?

Nonononono, Viggo. Like THIS!
 

"First you bend her this way, and you do the sex with her THIS way. Wait, let me show you by screwing my wife."

So sayeth David Cronenberg to Viggo Mortensen and Maria Bello on the set of A History of Violence.

To hell with the theatrical release on this one. I'm waiting for the DVD extras.

Gattigap

And NFH thinks butchery is an honorable vocation
 

Quite possibly the stupidest, most pointless and meaningless "headline" ever

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050927/...icole_kidman_1

Sebby, do you have an opinion on the library sciences?

Idiot Box
 

How old is this reviewer, four? "Recent memory"? Does 12 seasons of "Baywatch" slip his mind?

Has he not seen an ad during football for "Stacked"?

Fucking Buffoon.

Los Angeles indeed
 

How bizarre is it that Viggo sired a kid with Exene Cervenka?

And NFH thinks butchery is an honorable vocation
 

Black arts. The Dewey Decimal system is a Byzantine code which serves no purpose but to keep shiftless, otherwise useless librarians in business, while fucking over the average library patron. It should have been scrapped years ago, but the lobbying arms of Barnes & Noble, Borders and Amazon spend millions to keep it because it drives so many customers to them.

bah dum bah bum bum bum Its Bash JLH time!
 

[IMG]http://rds.yahoo.com/S=96062883/K=jennifer+love+hewitt/v=2/SID=e/l=IVS/SIG=12r1h4nhp/EXP=1128005309/*-http%3A//celebrity-exchange.com/celebs/photos49/jennifer-love-hewitt4.jpg[/IMG]

PIZZA
 

The fellas that I work with are trying to get on a health kick now that I've spent the last few weeks plying them with donuts. So, instead of eating donuts as today's breakfast supplement, they ordered pizza.

That was one righteous slice of pizza I just inhaled. Most excellent.

Sir Shape Shifter
 

Buy a title.

Rita victim assistance
 

I gave up trying to look hip at about 35. Past 40, looking hip is equal to looking pathetic. It's like the ponytail on the bald dude in his 50s or the 40-something Mom at the mall wearing the same pair of Juicy sweatpants and cropped t-shirt as her 14 y.o. daughter.

I tend to go for two looks: classic or stylish. I'm not sure you'd find an example of either in Neverland, Peter.

What the fuck is going on?
 

Our stats are way, way up lately. We're about to pass April and we have another couple of days of September to do. And August was just insane. Have we been talking that much?

Monthly Stats for 2005

Month Page Views
January (287986)
February (366395)
March (301794)
April (243540)
May (270639)
June (375379)
July (309294)
August (623909)
September (239860)

What the fuck is going on?
 

I'm not sure about everyone else, but I have been fascinating.

What the fuck is going on?
 

I'm not sure about everyone else, but SS has been a must-read lately.

eta: mierda!

What the fuck is going on?
 

You are so international!

What the fuck is going on?
 

The correct term for my silky suave-ee-tude is "continental."

What the fuck is going on?
 

Something like a "continental breakfast"? You know, frequently stale. Cold and hard, yet a bit fruity. Sometimes glazed?

What the fuck is going on?
 

But I am richer than ten of Fringey's chocolate muffins. So bite me.

Champon-ya.
 

Indeed:

http://www.danportnoy.com/champ.jpg

Champon-ya.
 

RT, I thought we said no outable pictures of Spanky.

Champon-ya.
 

Burger cropped out the water balloon-toting nine-year-olds in the hallway. That's not enough?

What the fuck is going on?
 

I was out in July. I came back in August. You'll notice that the amount of bitchitude increases when I am here.

Champon-ya.
 

If only you could give up your other internet girlfriends.

PIZZA
 

Explain how pizza as a "breakfast supplement" factors into a health kick? Wouldn't a health kick involve something like not having a breakfast supplement?

PIZZA
 

Well, if you subscribe to the glycemic index theory (where is gwinky anyway), or even just to the whole sugar-crash-cycle thing, eating an equal number of calories in the form of pizza rather than in the form of donuts will keep you from feeling hungry for a longer period of time, and is less likely to result in the severe hunger pangs (which often lead to overeating) that high-glycemic index foods tend to induce.

Plus, they might be able to convince themselves that the breakfast supplement is actually an early lunch, and therefore eat one fewer meal.

And pizza has calcium and lycopene and protein (and possibly veggies) and donuts generally have none of those. Maybe the boston creme ones have calcium.

PIZZA
 

J. Fred Whiff should have started his day with a bowl of Whiff Chex.

PIZZA
 

No dice. He's on the Whatkins.