Things you have slurped.
 

Because (sigh) your grandpa can't get it up, even with Viagra.

Edited to add that I think the website you did the link to is maintained by and for gay men. NTTAWWT.

Things you have slurped.
 

Is that what he told you? Or was he just gently refusing your awkward out-of-practice advances?

Things I have neither slurped nor schtupped.
 

I read your grandma's diary on the web. They're dead, for chrissakes.

I don't fuck the aged; I don't want one of them to die on/in me.

Regifting your used porno?
 

I must have found all the creepy stuff on that site. I went to the "favorites" section, which seemed to have an excess of incest-themed stories. I am not turned on by stories of mothers and sons, sisters and brothers, etc. Ugh. I'll have to go back to see if I missed some stuff more suited to me.

Things I have neither slurped nor schtupped.
 

Am I spelling that right? bol? Anyone?

Things I have neither slurped nor schtupped.
 

Fringey, dear, it's not necessary for you to enumerate the categories of people that you won't fuck because it's obvious that nobody is fucking you.

Amen
 

I love your avatar. Because Chick's Rule!

Things I have neither slurped nor schtupped.
 

See, NFH, now that's an insult.

The only response I can come up with is "I'm self-sufficient" but it seems inadequate, even to me. But really, would you fuck her grandpa? Please.

Edited to say, waitasecond, did I really ever say I don't masturbate? If so it was intended to be humorous.

Amen
 

Thanks! Its' good to know your they're for me.

Things you have slurped.
 

She's lying. We're very discreet.

Things I have neither slurped nor schtupped.
 

Premise, premise, unstated assumption, conclusion. Tell me the "therefore" wasn't necessary.

Amen
 

And I alway's will be.

Amen
 

And with that, my inner Timmy just exploded. So, gwincky, you going to come down here and clean up this mess?

Things I have neither slurped nor schtupped.
 

shit, just when I thougth i might be geting somewhere.....

Things I have neither slurped nor schtupped.
 

I don't get it.

Things I have neither slurped nor schtupped.
 

don't worry, you weren't anyway.

Things I have neither slurped nor schtupped.
 

Therefore you don't masturbate (you know, because you are tacky and aged). I knew you were ugly, mean, and frustrated, but I never took you for slow.

Ketchup
 

Things I have learned this afternoon:

1. I have the most bangable avatar . . . sweet.

2. Texans are sexy.

3. Outpatient surgery is still freakin surgery.

4. Fugee needs to PM me about literotica, since she found the scary incest stuff. (What is it about men and incest?!)

5. The OM bought a bag of Sweetish Hill tollhouse cookies, which is my fifth favorite cookie, to help me feel better. (Number 1 is central market's english toffee chip cookie.)

5.a. Wonk, you can still PM me about C is for Cookies.

6. WWLD is testing my last nerve with the quotes. ;)

7. People now use fly in a completely different way than we used fly back in the day.

Even(oweeee)Odds

Things you have slurped.
 

Good. Take pictures and submit them for breasticle day II.

TM

Things you have slurped.
 

The point is, your avatar is stupid. Okay, maybe that's not her point, but it's a point nevertheless.

Speaking of stupid avatars, every avatar that moves in any way (including the spinning dice and yez, that dinosaur that never seems to get any skinnier) should be banned.

TM

Things I have neither slurped nor schtupped.
 

You just got your head handed to you and that's what you come back with? Maybe you should stop taking the meds again.

TM

Things you have slurped.
 

The stupidity and "makes people think you are a gay male NTTAWWT but it seems to piss you off" are part of the point. She (he?) also gets defensive really quickly and intensely and that amuses me. If I can induce people to do things that amuse me, I will. Unless it takes a lot of energy.
I cry uncle. I have taught you too well, grasshopper.

Is Fugee going to sue me (a la Fox) for using her word?

Things I have neither slurped nor schtupped.
 

I acknowledged that my response was inadequate, but apparently it was really, really inadequate. I will be hanging my head in shame all the way home. Seriously.

Between me and RT, that will probably result in two multi-car pileups on the freeway. Unless we hit each other.

Ketchup
 

What kind of surgery?

A little while after I had some major surgery, I had some minor oral surgery. (I had bitten the inside of my lip, and it made a bump that wouldn't go away. Yes, I'm retarded.) It was the funniest thing -- I remember thinking, this is absurdly easy, and now, I get to walk home. No hospital stay = good.

Things you have slurped.
 

Die.

Chicks dig hot guys
 

I really, really do not know what in the HELL this link is supposed to prove. And how about a sound spree? Thankfully I was at home - I only had to explain to gf why I was looking at a nekkid baby angel dude while listening to that twinkle ding dong music. anttwat

Ask a Stuped Question... or Nadir
 

I can't believe that someone posted a song about balls and it's not Dan Bern's "Tiger Woods":

I got big balls
Big ol' balls
Big as grapefruits
Big as pumpkins
Yes sir, yes sir
And on my really good days
They swell to the size of small dogs
My balls are as big as small dogs

Well, it ain't braggin' if it's true
Yes sir, yes sir
It ain't braggin' if it's true
Muhammad Ali said that
Back when he was a young man
Back when he was Cassius Clay
Before he fought too many fights
And left his brain inside the ring

And sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
Sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods

I got a friend whose goal in life
Was to one day go down on Madonna
That's all he wanted
That was all
To one day go down on Madonna
And when my friend was thirty-four
He got his wish in Rome one night
He got to go down on Madonna
In Rome one night in some hotel
And ever since he's been depressed
'Cause life is shit from here on in
And all our friends just shake their heads
And say too soon, too soon, too soon
He went down on Madonna too soon
Too young, too young, too soon, too soon

And it ain't braggin' if it's true
Yes sir, yes sir
It ain't braggin' if it's true
Muhammad Ali said that
Back when he was Cassius Clay
Before he fought too many fights
And left his brain inside the ring

And sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods
Sometimes I wish I was Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods

If certain girls don't look at you
It means that they like you a lot
If other girls don't look at you
It just means they're ignoring you
How can you know, how can you know?
Which is which, who's doing what?
I guess that you can ask 'em
Which one are you baby?
Do you like me or are you ignoring me?
Do you like me or are you ignoring me?
Do you like me or are you ignoring me?
And all you need to do that
Is one good pair of big balls
Balls as big as grapefruits
Balls as big as pumpkins
Balls as big as mine

But even though my balls are big
Sometimes I wish they were bigger
Even bigger
Big as the wheels on tractors
Big as the golden arches
Big as the Golden Gate Bridge
Big as the state of Kansas
Big as Mars and Jupiter
Big as the swing of Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods

a NYC complex?
 

Originally posted by robustpuppy

With such careful use of oft confused words like "implied" and "inferred", it's surprising that you're so tone deaf to confuse fringie's sarcasm for sincerity. Patch people don't suffer bouts of inferiority on account of NYC. You're thinking of Californians.

Pet Peeve
 

Just for the laugh this gave me, I should bake you some cookies.

Putz
 

Ok ok, I'm sorry. Some people are so sensitive.

Word
 

Worthless site. Does not have half the slang my 13 yr old mentee uses. I think I have "trifling"** and "pimpin" figured out but I'm not entirely clear what "chickenhead" means except that it is not a compliment.

Speaking of Finns and drinking, there is an ethnic slur I haven't heard much outside of Northern Minnesota: stump jumping Finn. They have a variety of Czech, Slav, Serb and Croat slurs too but the Finn one is the only one picturesque enough to stick with me.

Host?!? Guest?!?
 

I've got a couple of presents already. So apparently I now know what it is like to be in a family that opens them weeks before...


How many times do I have to tell you this. I'm boring.

And we have 3 pictures. 2 of male parts and 1 of female parts. So move it people :P

TCBing and the pole
 

Actually we have one. But I need to add things to it. Why don't you all start making a list of the words you think we should put on it.

http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/sho...=&threadid=159


Ok, I am done catching up now. You may carry on.

Word
 

Chickenhead is a derogatory term for prostitute because of the motion of the individual's head while they are giving head. I've heard it used to derisively refer to any number of people in lieu of the term "cocksucker".

Word
 

A term of endearment for Thurgreed's mama, that is mainly used by her gentleman callers.

Word
 

:eek: :eek: Dude, that's no way to talk about Thurgreed's mama. He's gonna kick your whack ass!

Spread the Santorum
 

I have been doing my part.

http://www.theonionavclub.com/current_savage.html

(spree: Savage Love discussing Dan Savage's efforts to enhace the language)

The column issues a challenge that I hope can be taken up by certain fb members (not nfh's avatar). Apologies in advance for the long quote.

"I would like to congratulate you on what appears to be a successful effort to introduce a new word into the English language. Your recent series of interesting letters and the contest to find a new use for that useless windbag Santorum have worked admirably.

Let me explain: I was recently in a restaurant in New York having dinner with my wife. (The restaurant in question is Rosewater, and I recommend it if you happen to be in the Park Slope area of Brooklyn.) While my wife was using the ladies' room, I overheard the word "santorum," and of course my ears perked up. My neighbors, two women and a man, were discussing not only your column, Dan, but also their approval of the new meaning of santorum and how useful it would be for them. All this over Chilean sea bass and smoked duck! How is Mr. Santorum taking all this?
Ted

I don't know how Mr. Santorum is taking all this, Ted, and when I called his office to inquire... Well, let's just say that Sen. Santorum had no comment. In fact, no one in his office would even take my call. Which struck me as rude, but, hey, I'm not a constituent. Perhaps a reader who lives in Pennsylvania, the state Santorum represents, would have better luck contacting him. (You can e-mail Rick at senator@santorum.senate.gov, or reach him by phone at 202/224-6324.) I'll present anyone who can get an on-the-record comment from Santorum or his spokesperson with a case of lube and a selection of santorum T-shirts from extraugly.com."

Edit: half-k!

Word
 

"Chickenhead" is frequently used in the dirty dirty to describe (depending on status of describer) a ho (someone who intends to be taken care of for delivering sexual gratification) or a groupie (see, ho).

Edited to reflect an understanding of the English language.

Even(painkillers rock)Odds

Why I love QE
 

The Fab 5 are so sweet with the guys. My favorite part is when they watch the SG and cheer.

Ask Before You Lick
 

Man sentenced to 18 months for licking woman's feet in supermarket:

http://www.metrowestdailynews.com/ne...in08272003.htm

Anttwat, if you ask permission first before going at it.