Vanilla - poll... The Naked Channel... Er, Poll?
 

Your reaction is correct. They did have such a format on cable. It was called the playboy channel and it sucked. 15 minute vignettes of the models with them running around with a beachball or blowing bubbles or playing the piano (naked). No hardcore closeups or anything. This is why Playboy is near bankruptcy. Hef has "vaginaphobia". He thinks it's unclassy for him to show that stuff. A pornographer who is afraid to show vaginas and wants people to think his magazine is "classy". Yeah, that is a good business model. [/QUOTE]

A. Playboy just recently turned a profit.

B. How do you explain the success of Maxim, Stuff and FHM?

C. I am not envisioning an airbrushed Playboy channel. I'm thinking more of a "Here's Mary - she's an aspiring actress. Now she'll undress for you" format. The idea is that seeing one woman undress is like M&Ms - you'll stay for another. The idea of finding out what a hot chick looks like under the clothes is addictive. Net porn doesn't hold you because of the sex aspect - its like gambling - you wonder what's behind the next link. In the same way, parading amateurs and models will hold people. It works along the same principles as Girls Gone Wild, but is more organized and not as contrived.

D. Playboy is wickedly out of touch. Hef is a fucking relic. The articles about the latest audio equip and scotch snifters are like 50s nostalgis pieces. HOWEVER, splashing pink everywhere and money shots galore is extreme in the other direction.

E. Playboy used to show vagina in the 70s and 80s when the disco mitt was popular. Now, however, the shaved look is in - so its harder to show vagina and still be somehwta discrete. Plus, for every attractive pink shot, there's another model who looks like a spoonful of roast beef down there. Do you want to be the photographer who says "On second thought, maybe you'd better close your legs a bit more."

Vanilla - Another Perverted Poll
 

Twice. Both times by my mom. I think she's more scarred by it than me.

First time I was about 13. I was in my bed under the covers and had just completed the act when my mom wandered in. She sat on the side of my bed and was talking about whatever when she happened to place her hand on my chest. Like I said, I had just completed the act so my heart was still racing. She took notice of this and asked me if I was doing drugs.

Thus, I was faced with an unenviable choice: do I admit to masterbation or drug use? I chose masterbation. I said something like: "Jesus Christ mom, I'm not doing drugs! I was masterbating, OK?" I actually said "masterbating".

She was completely mystified by the whole thing (couldn't understand why I was doing it) and wanted to discuss it. I basically was just beligerent to her until she left and I could pull my damn pants back up and get the hell out of the house.

The second time I was about 15. My mom opened my bedroom door to tell me something while I was in the middle of the act. She asked, "What are you doing?" I just laughed because there really was nothing to say. She replied, "I'd have thought you'd have outgrown that by now." Sure mom, 15 is just about the age that males get some sort of control over their sexual urges.

childhood nostalgia overload
 

Not just lasers, but really, really big lasers. I think one the reasons I liked it some much was that around the time the series started in my hometown, I had just toured some historic battleship or another (these were big items on vacations with the parents back then), and so was properly primed to be awed by the magnitude of the premise (which was, for the 90% of you who don't know, that the Earth government, threatened by attack by some alien species, converted a sea-going conventional battleship into a space ship in which the entire body of the ship was one very, very large gun, fired by pulling the trigger on a handgun grip stuck in the dashboard).

childhood nostalgia overload
 

They never really explained why blue aliens from thousands of light-years away who we never heard of before wanted to destroy our planet and kill us all, but that little hole in the plot didn't occur to me until I was too old to watch cartoons. Well, technically I still watch cartoons, but now it's South Park, Futurama, and Family Guy.

[edited to correct my martian grammar]

childhood nostalgia overload
 

This game still exists, by the way, and is played in many-a-preschool across the land (or at least in TCOTU).

"Pretty sneaky sis" indeed.

And whoever mentioned "slip and slide" brought a smile to my face -- if ever there was an item the presence of which should serve as a barrier to home insurance coverage, the "Slip N'Slide" is it. It should have been called "Broken Bones -- Guaranteed!"

(Simpson's episode with the trampoline?... Anybody?)

Great, something new to be paranoid about
 

First off, is the key to the Mary will undress for you the "for you " part? The ego is all part of the male fantasy right?

Second, and I am scared to ask this and will probably reqret it. But, I wont let that stop me. What is the difference between "pink" and a "spoonful of roast beef"? Huge labia? Dark skin? I never really thought of vaginas as "attractive" like breassts are. When the camera gets in too close, my reaction is "please, I am not a gynocologist for a reason" To me they are all kind of equally weird looking. I dont get it. SO explain the difference between pink and roast beef.

childhood nostalgia overload
 

To this day whenever I see a trampoline I hear Homer saying "Tram-pam-poline." Then I giggle.

Great, something new to be paranoid about
 

1. Ego is for social invalids with small dicks (See: 9 out of 10 law firm partners you know). I just like looking at naked chicks. No need to conquer or seduce - how one gets to the pleasure he seeks seems immaterial to me. I'm not a "thrill of the chase" kinda cat. Just gimme what I want.

2. Some chicks have a roast beefy look to their vaginas - the outer part seems to be like the more cooked part of rare roast beefy, and the inside is, well, pink. This is most pronounced in chicks with huge labia - and you're right - as Warren Zevon (the spirits bless him) would say, "it ain't that pretty at all." The color scheme differs from chick to chick. Some guys have this problem as well - I recall showering in a group shower in college with a white cat I knew from Sweden who had a totally brown dick. It was like he'd had a transplant.

childhood nostalgia overload
 

What IS it with you people? You make it sound as though these 70s toys are relics and you couldn't possibly get your hands on one today.

Let me disabuse you of this quaint notion -- Transformers go-bots, He-man, Connect Four, Lite Brite, Spirograph -- all these things are still available at your local toy store.

Come to think of it though, I haven't seen the Sunshine Family in any store -- I had the house and I think the General Store when I was a wee one. But I don't have any girls, and my boys don't like "girl toys". (My older son says he likes everything except baby stuff and girl toys.)

Talking about the Sunshine Family brings back scarring memories of youth -- when a friend (Paula) came over, and we were playing with the Sunshine Family, we decided to play "History of the Sunshine Family". The parents met, decided to get married, had the wedding, etc. and then when it came time to have the baby, my friend starting mushing the mother and father's "privates" (not anatomically correct dolls, thank God) together, and I was horrified! I asked what in the world she was doing, and she explained that that's how babies were made. I didn't believe her (as my mother had explained that babies were made when you were married and you prayed a lot... what a creepy answer...).

When my mother finally broke the real story to me, the first thing I thought was, "Gee, I guess Paula was right!" (Paula had an older sister and was therefore wise in the ways of the world...)

Vanilla - Another Perverted Poll
 

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Originally posted by ltl/fb
Hm, it's possible. Have you ever noticed that guys (but rarely girls) say with alarming frequency that taking a dump is one of the best feelings in the world? Is this because of prostate stimulation? I've been wondering that one for a while, but don't think I've ever asked anyone.
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Ok, well a co-worker (male) once told me that there was nothing better than a good sneeze. And then all the other guys in the room chuckled. Is that the same thing?
:partytime

childhood nostalgia overload
 

Wow.

Mehhhhhmories...of the way we were
 

So Mrs. Dangerfield is Asian?

Vanilla - Another Perverted Poll
 

Dr. Ruth once said "ein orgasm ist like ein sneeze."

I was in HS at the time, and thereafter, whenever someone sneezed in the presence of my best friend and me, we would bust out laughing. It was even funnier to us because nobody knew what we were laughing at. Our band teacher did not find that habit funny, however, when someone in the band sneezed just a second before we were about to start playing at the spring concert, in that moment when the auditorium was supposed to be silent with anticipation.

We had no decorum. I miss that high school experience of being with your best friend and laughing for no reason and until you are practically in tears.

Dontcha just hate it when you feel the sneeze, it's about to happen, yeah, gonna sneeze, gonna sneeze, oh, goddammit, not gonna sneeze now.

Vanilla - Another Perverted Poll
 

The FB is like this for me, almost daily. Must be lack of sleep.

Sopranos
 

Sopranos Spoiler: Furio(us) Speculation From FoxNews











The word last night at HBO's cool outdoor party for The Wire confirmed something we reported here a few weeks ago: So far, the new season of The Sopranos is missing Furio.

When pony-tailed actor Federico Castelluccio (search) showed up sans his mane a couple of months ago, I told you that probably meant he was off the show. His character, Furio, had flirted with Carmela Soprano (Edie Falco) but split for Italy when Tony found out in the season finale.

Now I'm told that four episodes into shooting the possibly last season, Furio is so far a no-show.

"If he comes back, he'll be killed," said an insider speaking of the character, not the actor. "So what can he do?"

Nevertheless, Castellucci was looking fit and happy at The Wire premiere, along with several actors from that show and from HBO's Oz. Also on hand were Sopranos star Vince Curatola with his beautiful wife Maureen, actors Liev Schreiber and Sam Rockwell and, of course, the cast of The Wire.

HBO is grooming that show and others in case Sopranos creator David Chase (search) decides not to return next year for a sixth season. Believe it or not, it's up to him. "And he hasn't decided yet," says our source.