You Oughta Know
 

Indeed. Everytime she scratches her nails down someone else's back, I feel it. And when she went down on me in a theater, was that whitebread?

Apropos of nothing, fuck the Devils, and fuck Gomez, that fucking Alaskan.

Not Happy

You Oughta Know
 

Not Professor Whitebread, I hope.

Please Not Bob, please, please make your avatar Not Bob Saget. He's making my eyes bleed.

Bring back Rockford. :drool:

Not only can I not believe that Dave Coulier would inspire such strong feelings in any woman, I cannot believe that Alanis dated both Dave Coulier AND Bob Saget.

I wonder if either was a divining rod type of guy? That would explain things.

childhood nostalgia overload
 

When my brother asked the babysitter (a relative) where babies came from, she turned to my parents to pass the question along. Mom was long gone, but she managed to catch the back of my dad's head as he sprinted out the door.

When my little sister was born, I was mislead into believing that the hospital is sorta' like a store where you go to fill out some forms and get a baby. When we went to the baby aquarium, Papa Dots pointed to one of the creatures and indicated that it was the one they had picked out.

*sigh*
 

So I get back from lunch mmmm Indian food, and one of the secretaries comes up to me and says, have you read your email?

Why, no, I respond, is there something to see? She says only that (name redacted) has sent out an email informing everyone we are using post it notes incorrectly. They are expensive and people are using them as scrap paper. You should get scrap paper and use that as scrap paper.

So I open email and sure enough, there it is, an email telling everyone we are using post it notes wrong. This email came from one of our senior attorneys.

Fortunately for me, it would seem, I use my post it notes correctly.

PHEW

childhood nostalgia overload
 

A female friend related that when she was four, she asked her mom where babies come from, her mom replied that a man and a woman kiss for a while, and then they press down on the woman's belly button, and a baby comes out. Like all truly great lies, this was merely a highly simplified version of the truth.

The unintended consequence was that my friend was scared to death of her own belly button for the remainder of her childhood. She screamed bloody murder whenever she was being bathed, and later still couldn't bring herself to clean her own belly button for fear of birthing an unwanted infant. Her mom had long forgotten the lie, and was always mystified by her daughter's weird phobia.

I guess it's better than having vagina issues, though.

Dicks in Porn
 

Sebby: "This leads into my next point - dicks ruin porn. Sure, money shots are amusing, kinda like a dramatic peak in a movie, but do we males really need to see spewing cocks in these flicks/photos? I would like to start an "All Naked" channel where models and regular women just walk around naked all day. Each woman gets 15 minutes on screen and they run in loops like MTV runs videos. No dicks, no hard core spread shots - just naked hotties and amateurs. I think this format would be absolutely addictive."

You may be right (i.e. I know other men who think like you), but you wouldn't get my money. Dicks are necessary to porn for me, and I want insertion. For me, the fantasy is that I get to fuck her, or she blows me, or whatever, and I place myself in that guy's position. Cinemax, Playboy, or cable porn with all the penetration scenes removed don't excite me, they frustrate me. With a magazine, I'm using the pictorials in this order: (1) with a guy in them; (2) with toys in them (because I can fantasize that the implement is my dick); and (3) the girl/girls sans guys.

I am so glad that magazines finally show penetration - the simulated sex pictorials were uber-frustrating. I would keep turning the pages hoping (although knowing it wasn't going to happen) to see a pic where her lips actually touched his dick. That, however, does kind of make Sebby's point - that people will keep watching hoping that something more happens, but eventually something has to happen.

Put another way, I enjoy the buildup and the (cock) tease, but ultimately there has to be closure. I think for similar reason, pure handjobs have never appealed to me and will rarely get me off; however, if I think there is a chance that there will eventually be some oral contact, and that comes (yes, comes) to fruition, I don't need more. For example, one girl was jacking me off for several minutes before she simply kissed the tip of my penis, and boom, get the Kleenex. YMMV.

childhood nostalgia overload
 

When I was a kid I just read a set of Time/Life books someone had bought at a tag sale, so my parents never bothered to approach me with that excruciating conversation. The 'teen' section warned that "necking" could lead to "petting" which could to "intercourse," which was a series of incredibly ugly clinical drawings that would've helpfully killed the sex drive of any kid old enough to have one anyway.

Between that and "Are you There God, It's Me Margaret" explaining the whole period and bosom thing, I was covered way in advance.

*sigh*
 

Placing a post-it note on this attorney's door with the words "YOU SUCK!" scrawled across it would, I believe, constitute an appropriate use of the little sticky bastards.

aV

Online Monday
 

Article in The American Lawyer regarding the board schism - http://www.americanlawyer.com/

Online Monday
 

Doesn't seem to be online yet. Just a note it will be on the 2nd

Online Monday
 

Note my Re: Line

Online Monday
 

Sorry didn't notice it.

This reminds me of the time (before law school) when the company I worked at sent out a memo the we would have to pay for our own business cards and that the company would no longer send out pens and note pads - we would have to provide our own. Seems that we were using, on average, 24 pens per month per store! Wow, that's a whole $2. So when the reps heard that we had to pay for our own business cards, and how pissed off we were about it - it got back to the owners. Turns out a guy with his own Bentley and 727 doesn't want people to think he's cheap. Then they started paying for our business cards after that. I'm guessing if people start talking about how "cheap" and petty the firm is, the issue goes away.
:idea:

This reminds of the time (before law school) when the manager at a stupid company I worked for put out a "suggestion box" by the employee break room. My suggestion was always the same "go fuck yourself". Once a day, everyday, rain or shine, I would put that suggestion in. At our stupid weekly meetings, which we didn't get paid for, he would discuss that weeks suggestions. Once he threatened that he would start checking handwriting if whoever it was didn't stop putting obscene suggestions in the box. After he mentioned that, everyone else started telling him what to do with box, and they eventually got rid of it.

This is a pet peeve of mine. Nearly every state makes this HUGELY illegal, and yet employers have been getting away with it for years. In several states, there's a code section expressly on point that includes an award of attorneys' fees.

The next time someone tells you a cute story about a former employer who fucked them by making them pay for supplies, tools, or uniforms (or failing to reimburse them for things like mileage or business entertainment), send them to an employment plaintiffs' attorney. Seriously --- there's huge money in this.

It's totally fucked up that employers are foisting off the costs of doing business on their employees. Nobody should be nickel and dimed to death, merely because only nickels and dimes are at stake in any given instance.