Hot or Not
 

I don't get it.

Happy, Bilmore?
 

Happy?

In a world in which "avatar" has become a verb, no, I am not happy.

(And, ltl, in a world where being pregnant makes you horny, and being horny makes you pregnant, what escape can there be?)

Hot or Not
 

I am aware of that.

Hot or Not
 

Shall we spell it out for you?

Confidential to Thrasher
 

Drunk and crazy. You sound more like paigow every day.

TM

Happy, Bilmore?
 

If you are only horny during pregnancy, and you only have sex during pregnancy, you aren't going to get pregnant again. Do you think pregnancy makes women too stupid to remember the concept of birth control??? Not only a Republican, but a misogynist as well. Double shame on you.

Anyway, I thought you were always whining about the omnipresence of children and its detrimental effect on the frequency and/or quality of sexual relations . . .

Happy, Bilmore?
 

Read this again and see if you can find a problem.

Happy, Bilmore?
 

That, I never said.

-TL

Happy, Bilmore?
 

I may still be reading it wrong, but presumably one closes one's eyes and thinks of England at least a few times, at least during the early days of the marriage.

Or misogynistic bastards like you rape . . . nah.

Happy Gilmour!
 

Perhaps a Venn diagram would help the oldtimer.

Happy Gilmour!
 

I don't think they had those when he was in school. It would probably just confuse him.

Happy, Bilmore?
 

I have never understood why this quote caught on. England is cold, wet, and dreary. Why not think of the French Riviera or the Mediterranean coast instead?

CDF (yes, I know the provenance of the line, but nationalism be damned)

Happy, Bilmore?
 

One is fulfilling one's duty to provide heirs to the nobility of England (or cannon fodder or workhouse fodder or whatever). So you are thinking of your pride in fulfilling your civic duty.

If you thought about something happy you might start crying (the contrast, you know) and that might anger your husband. Very bad to anger the husband.

Happy Gilmour!
 

If Venn is in as nice a mood as is ltl today, he can keep his diagram.

Happy, Bilmore?
 

I dunno. A lapdance is so much better when the stripper is crying.

My wife remembers seeing an old book of household protocol from the '10s and '20s, where the book (written by a woman) helpfully suggests that during the act, wifey might distract herself with thoughts of various consumer products she would like to buy, like a nice dress or a fancy kitchen tool.

Combine this with the thought that hubby is furiously pumping away with thoughts of baseball dancing in his head and you'll have the Mother of All Stereotypes. I bet both Sears and MLB planted these helpful tips as some kind of multi-level marketing ploy.

Happy Gilmour!
 

Pshaw. I'm sweeter than a beehive in, uh, whatever month it would have the most honey.

Hot or Not
 

What a let down. Christina has talent (and they must have turned her mike down when all three of them sang the chorus), but jesus. Britney and Madonna cannot sing. Period.

I always wondered why everyone has so much respect for Madonna. I had an argument about this with some brain dead bimbo at a dinner party one time. She was spouting off about the Madonna concert she had been to and how she rocks and is such a hero and legend and whatever. I asked her if she was kidding. She said, "No way! She totally reinvented herself and is enormously talented!" I said, "She's a slut. She started off as a poor white trash slut. Turned herself into a Spanish whore, Italian tramp, a black ho, a lesbian whore and a fag hag slut. That's not really reinventing yourself, since there's been one constant. She has NO talent. All she's good at is working out, eating right (and probably) fucking. The girl I was talking to was highly offended.

TM

Happy Gilmour!
 

And yet, I still avoid beehives.

Happy, Bilmore?
 

Why would this be? I'm never getting married. Sounds like the sex is depressing as hell.

Close Your Eyes and Think of the Front Loader
 

Yeah, that image came from a "book" your "wife" read. Did any of Sebby's friends see this book, too?

Happy Gilmour!
 

Dammit, I'm losing my edge again.

Damn damn damn damn.

:brick:

Edited to add the emoticon because what post exists that can't be enhanced by an emoticon!

Minnesota, Hooray!
 

Bilmore, here is something of which you can be proud:

"U.S. cyber investigators arrested a Minnesota teenager Friday who the FBI said has admitted unleashing one version of a damaging virus-like infection weeks ago on the Internet.

A court official identified the teenager as Jeffrey Lee Parson, 18, of Hopkins, Minn., known online as ``teekid.'' A U.S. official in Washington also confirmed an arrest was made early Friday."

Here's the full article so your Minnesota heart can fill with pride:
http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/tech...Attack.html?hp

The Tara Reid challenge
 

Via Slave's penis and less than 3 degrees of separation, I suspect you've already slept with Tara Reid and all of Newark.

Minnesota, Hooray!
 

You actually have no idea how close you're cutting, here.

Minnesota, Hooray!
 

I bet that teenager knows what a Venn diagram is.

Happy Gilmour!
 

Tying threads, this reminds me of the lyrics to "Sweet Evaline" -- sung barbershop style:

My Evaline (my Evaline)
Say you'll be mine (say you'll be mine)
Won't you come and let me whisper in your ear
Way down yonder in the old corn field
For you (for you)
I've pined (I've pined)
Sweeter than the honey
To the honey bee
I love you
Say you love me
Meet me in the shade
Of the old apple tree
Eva-Iva-Ova-Evaliiiiiiine

Unfortunately, this "Ova" business is where the problem "lays." Errr, lies.

CDF (going for the six-way joke and play on words)

Happy Gilmour!
 

Tell us when you get there.

Vote for Arnold
 

This may have been posted, but I don't read all your crap - http://www.thesmokinggun.com/doc_o_day/doc_o_day.html (1977 interview where Arnold talks about smoking grass and hash and gangbanging a black girl at Gold's Gym). Plus, he's cool with "fags." Stand aside, Larry Flynt.

Vote for Arnold
 

You should probably be more explicit about your point. It's Cal, so you might simply be telling us that he has hit on the winning combination.

Happy Gilmour!
 

I'm waiting at the rest stop for you, old-timer. Perhaps you should read the post again, and look up the alternate dictionary definitions for a few words.

Happy Gilmour!
 

Well, I got the one obvious one, but apparently missed the others.

There are others?

Happy, Bilmore?
 

Which brings to mind one of the many interesting things I saw down in P-town last week. No, I can't share most of them since Leagl said we could only sumbit pictures of our own body parts.

Anyway, on Commercial St. there is this lovely little sex shop called the House of Eros. Inside, in addition to the various accoutrements, they had a display of old vibrators from the late 1800's and a few articles and ads from such prominent publications as the Sears catalog.

When confronted with "hysterical" patients doctors would resort to manual stimulation to solve their problems. This became tiresome and tedious to the doctors so they often passed the task long to midwives. With the invention of electricty a new concumer product was born.

Link to article here (No pictures)

Another link here (again no pictures).

Best article. Has some pictures of old-fashioned vibrators. Safe for the office (but maybe not a cubicle).

And on that note, I wish you all a fun-filled Labor Day weekend.

Anne

Happy Gilmour!
 

Chevy, it's Friday afternoon, before a three-day weekend, and a week until Thurgreed Memorial Breasticle Day, so you want us to work for your joke?

Happy Gilmour!
 

I, for one, am off to (like Chevy) self-medicate and rejuvenate and cop . . . no, that's crude. Boating doesn't rhyme, but I'll use it anyway.

Happy Gilmour!
 

Your wife is pregnant AGAIN? Maybe you all should use some of those things Anne was posting about.

Happy, Bilmore?
 

Good Vibrations has a collection of antique vibrators. According to <The Technology of Orgasm "Hysteria," the Vibrator and Women's Sexual Satisfaction's book review in the New York Times, the vibrator was the fifth electrical appliance invented.

Happy, Bilmore?
 

Presumably, closing ones eyes, thinking of France, and surrendering to one's husband would work well too.

Happy Gilmour!
 

"Lay" means, alternately:

(1) a sexual partner
(2) a simple song or narrative poem
(3) a beating or striking down with force (the "husband" post)
(4) to produce and deposit eggs ("Ova")
(5) to impose as a duty, burden or punishment (do it for England)
(6) and, finally, "lacking extensive knowledge of a particular subject."

Like you.

CDF (you been punk'd, hobbit dude)

Happy Gilmour!
 

I'm sorry to hear you have to work for it. :)

Happy, Bilmore?
 

I'm married with a kid, so I'll take it any way I can get it.