LawTalkers - Fashionistas you have arrived 3-25-03

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Not like the Amish from Witness

Quote:

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Let me clarify that the family had left the Amish before the son was killed, and I was using "all crazy" in a humorous way (or attempting to) and not as a description of their grief over the loss.

Have you been getting angry PM's from the dead mennonite's family? Are they internet savvy?

EDITED to ask RT to repeat the rule for me once more... Is it read and then post or post and then read? Thank you.

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
It's like this. I knew a guy like this in college. All he wanted was a subservient asian chick to marry. He even told me that probably the best way to do that is "mail order bride" in a semi-humorous way. Here's the problem, most asian-american guys are raised by their "from asia" mom. No woman (caucasian) will be able to meet this standard. Asian moms are generally stay-at-homes and their goal in life appears to be to take care of the men in the house. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. They get out into the real world and when the asian-american guy says to the caucasian girl "hey honey, when you do my laundry this week, can you make sure to get the ass stains out of my shorts like my mom did? And I want chicken for dinner."

I knew this was going to wend it's way to Dat Phan's mother again. Everything always does. . . .

Quote:

Originally posted by ThrashersFan
What the fuck is a "toe rag"?

It's the new SUV from Volkswagen, silly.

Quote:

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Four posts in a row bracked by two ias39 or whatever the fuck coup de skek is calling himself this hour

Nice serendipity. Have you two synchronized your prescriptions?

Jai was right not to teach Josh Diaz "jazz hands." He should, however, have let him in on the "spirit fingers" secret.

str8.

Re the long list of bad movies headed up by Gigli:

There were many omissions from that list, the biggest of which was the worst movie of all time, SPACE JAM, starring Bugs Bunny and Michael Jordan. The Worst. Bar None.

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL????

Asians and Dating

In addition to everything else said, I also think it's worthwhile to point out that, while a gross generalization, I think it's accurate to say that most Korean, Japanese and Chinese women I know who have dated white guys have chosen guys who are bookish, socially inept and don't treat women well. I think this comes from the same socialization issues that Korean men seeking servants comes from, but I can't really put my finger on it.

I do know that there seem to be very few studly, strapping, rich and good-looking white guys dating Asian women; it seems that the Asian women who would normally be dating white men of that quality go towards black men[1].

Of course, this is all in my own experience, and I'm not trying to start any arguments.

[1] Is it PC, offensive or neither to refer to black men as "brothers" in this context? I guess neither, but I guess some might consider it offensive.

Bulimia inthe office

Have you ever totally eaten too much crap off the conference room table and then felt like you would bill better if you had less schmeg in your stomach? I dont know if this would be appropriate or not.

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
Even once asian guy has moved out of parents' house, he can always go back and mom will cook, clean and do laundry for him. Not many caucasian chicks will rise to that standard, nor will want to. It's not that they don't want to date caucasian chicks, it's just that caucasian chicks are usually not subservient enough for the asian-american males. Does that make sense?

Where do I sign up to date Asian moms? Is there a web page or something?

Quote:

Originally posted by tax_hottie
I'm not sure. I haven't seen that much Asian dick. I've only had one Asian BF and he was average. He wasn't super tall though. It goes with my height correlation. In my experience, guys over 6'0 tend to be well endowed and guys under are not. Of course there are a few exceptions, but not many, in my experience.

I can't remember the dick sizes of the few Asian guys I've hooked up with in a drunken state. I do know that I never thought to myself, "Wow, he has a big dick."

If we are doing a poll (shouldn't every sex reference that comes up be made into a poll?), I have dated one Korean American guy (college years; dated for a few months). His dick was not large, but was not freakishly small. The sex was not very good. I don't think it was my fault...

I never cooked, cleaned or did laundry for him. Well, I did help clean up one morning after a particularly disgusting bloody mary party the night before (left over bloody maries are actually gag-inducing the next day, fyi), but I don't think that counts.

Quote:

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
bloody mary party the night before

Aren't bloody mary parties usually held in the daytime? I think they're called "brunch."

Bulimia inthe office

Quote:

Originally posted by paigowprincess
Have you ever totally eaten too much crap off the conference room table and then felt like you would bill better if you had less schmeg in your stomach?

Yes.

Is there an implied question "and have you yakked your guts up to do something about it?" No, but I don't in theory having a problem with non-involuntary throwing up to rid yourself of something you've eaten that made you feel icky.

Quote:

I dont know if this would be appropriate or not.

Appropriate to throw up at work, or appropriate to ask here? I can't think of anything inappropriate to ask here, so I have to assume the former. I would consider it entirely appropriate to throw up at work (on an infrequent enough basis that no one says "bulimic bitch," and never in the morning so no one says "pregnant mommy-tracker"), particularly in front of witnesses who can be told "ugh, this is horrible, I've eaten something that disagrees with me" and who will then see you rinse your mouth and go right back to work, news of which will reach you employers who, heartless bastards that they are, will be impressed that you just keep working away even when your deteriorating health has you barfing all over the place.

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Originally posted by lookingformarket
Where do I sign up to date Asian moms? Is there a web page or something?

Then that makes you the quintessential momma's boy.

Save yourself the trouble, and get yourself a mailorder bride. I know there are websites for that. You can even get a Russian version who may or may not kill you in your sleep once she gets the wedding ring.

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Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
Aren't bloody mary parties usually held in the daytime? I think they're called "brunch."

Yes, yes, we did it all wrong and we paid the price for it. When I say the night before, I mean all day and night the day before. So many bloody mary drinking rules were broken that day, that I could not drink the damn things for a decade. And I still can't drink them if there is a lot of pepper or other stuff floating in them.

Quote:

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
Yes, yes, we did it all wrong and we paid the price for it. When I say the night before, I mean all day and night the day before. So many bloody mary drinking rules were broken that day, that I could not drink the damn things for a decade. And I still can't drink them if there is a lot of pepper or other stuff floating in them.

I think all your problems would be solved if you switched to the bloody caesar. (mmmm* Clamato).

*and this is a mmmm of longing, not a sarcastic mmmm.

Quote:

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
So many bloody mary drinking rules were broken that day, that I could not drink the damn things for a decade.

There are bloody mary drinking rules?

Talk to me, Goose. Talk to me

Quote:

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
The best ever commentary on Top Gun was by Quinten Tarantino in the otherwise forgettable movie Sleep With Me.

All the more amusing when you remember that McGillis is a big old dyke.

A diatribe against shorts, and various other male fashion offenses:

http://www.nytimes.com/2003/08/31/fashion/31VIEW.html

Finally, Birds and Pants Legs Head South
By MARSHALL SELLA

LABOR DAY is among this nation's most baffling holidays. My understanding is that it does involve labor, but it seems to serve more famously as some kind of fashion milepost. Specifics are hard to come by, but evidently factory workers may no longer wear white shoes; linen (possibly because it tears easily in machinery) is spurned as one would spurn a rabid dog.

My one certainty is that Labor Day marks a semi-official start to autumn — another mystery, since that leaves the impending solstice looking a bit dejected. Still, the arrival of fall is as inevitable as, well, the change of the seasons, and brings with it one shimmering promise: that the fashion scourge of shorts will soon be expunged from our city's streets.

There's nothing phobic or prudish in my aversion to what are at best incomplete pants, but I would no more wear shorts in public than I would march around yodeling and banging cans together.

Put simply, short pants lack dignity. Even in Bermuda, where they are part of every uniform, I find it hard to take officials who wear them seriously. If arrested there, I'm sure it would cross my mind, at least fleetingly, to try a girlish kick to the constable's shins and then run for it.

Aesthetically, it's often a question of balance. The odds of a man's lower body matching his upper body are lottery-low. Some men possess a Foghorn Leghorn barrel chest supported by spindly little rods; others resemble Michael Caine, and seem to vanish as you scan them from toe to head. Granted, many have achieved a fine proportion between the two realms, but I regard these fellows suspiciously, especially when their legs are tanned and hairless.

Men face a Catch-22 when it comes to avoiding the stigma of pallid, unsightly legs. To wear shorts, you must already have worn them, secretly perhaps, in some private enclave for the leg-ashamed. Or you need to have resorted to a tanning booth to boldly address the problem with brute technology.

It's relevant to add that vanity has nothing to do with my objection to donning shorts. I have no Jane Eyre-type secret that keeps me in long pants — no galloping edema, no gigantic mole shaped like Elaine Stritch. My lower legs are exactly appropriate to their function, which is to help shuttle my brain around as it tends to its daily chores.

There also is no traumatic moment in my history that caused this aversion: no pants-related maternal torture, no schoolyard ridicule. But now that I look back on the issue, I haven't touched shorts with a barge-pole since I moved to New York 10 years ago. Perhaps it struck me that, the farther east one travels, the less appropriate short pants become.

In Los Angeles, men wear shorts with sports coats without a trace of shame; in my former home of Chicago, we wore them because they took just slightly less time to pull on. Move even farther east and the issue sharpens. In London, a man of substance will accede to wearing shorts only when his legs are covered by a coffin lid.

Put it this way: here in Manhattan, I never have that dream where you show up at an important meeting without pants. Mine would be showing up in shorts.

A good deal of the problem is that my lower legs need never be a center of attention. It's always a slow news day for my calves and shins. I see no reason to include them in what amounts to my daily "skin broadcast" to the world. Being so far away from my head and so out of sight, frankly, they're inconsequential. At rare times, they pop into my mind as objects of mild speculation, as interesting to contemplate as the state of my appendix, or crop circles.

No, I contend that short pants now are precisely what they were in the time of Victoria: the dominion of little boys. They bespeak a deliberately (and rightly) frivolous stage of life, one in which males find themselves subjected to every kind of well-intentioned humiliation — that is, having one's clothes chosen, purchased and laid out for them to wear.

If dressing in shorts doesn't entirely reduce you to toddlerdom, it still makes it hard for anyone to take you seriously. Wearing shorts says, "Dude, let's play hackeysack!" Long pants convey a different message altogether — "Mr. Secretary, we have averted the crisis." J.F.K. himself, the patron saint of crisis-aversion and easy style, rarely wore shorts, even when playing touch football. Above all, consider this: a man who wears shorts is a man who went shopping for shorts.

Many men also ignore the darkest of the garment's dark little secrets — the fact that putting on shorts sets off an unexpected fashion dilemma. When you step over the line from long pants to the other thing, my friend, you've got a shoe problem. Put away those lace-ups you wear the rest of the year. It's either sneakers, a dreadful look if you're not engaged in sport at that very moment, or sandals, which make the world your podiatrist.

Then there's the prickly issue of pant length. If your shorts stop just below the knee, you might pass for a Cossack dancer; above the knee, and you're Pinocchio.

I'll admit that shorts, aside from all the money you've saved on 19 inches of extra cloth, have one seeming advantage. They are a tad cooler than long pants. But they're not that much cooler. A baseball cap will heat you up more than anything going on down south. (It's inevitable that the tartan lovers among us will seize this moment to offer their breezy alternative — but kilts may be worn only by a chosen few, and are often accompanied by the penalty accessory of bagpipes.)

In all, Short Pants Man doesn't enjoy any more flexibility than Long Pants Man. A modern male who is well and truly dressed can adapt at a moment's notice. Like "MacGyver," who could make a hang-glider out of lint and blue cheese, Long Pants Man can transform himself, simply by rolling up his pant legs. He is no hostage to circumstance, nor some wizened prude who can't bear to get his feet wet. He has arrived ready for anything: long-pants action and short-pants action. Somewhere, latter-day Lord Fauntleroys are squealing about mosquitoes and poison ivy and, presumably, their haircuts. But Long Pants Man is evolved.

True, he may not be fully evolved, but he is one rung up the ladder closer to Tuxedo Man, that James Bond figure who can save the world while playing baccarat. Of course, not everyone can be Tuxedo Man. But, as autumn so poignantly reminds us, Long Pants Man dwells within us all.

Quote:

Originally posted by tax_hottie
There are bloody mary drinking rules?

Yes -- you should not drink bloody marys when you are wearing diamonds.

Quote:

Originally posted by tax_hottie
There are bloody mary drinking rules?

1. Do not drink more than 4 or for more than 4 hours on any day.

2. Do not mix with other random beverages, such as shots. Beer is the only appropriate alcoholic beverage for a chaser.

3. Do not remain in the vicinity if your friend starts throwing up as a result of too many/too strong bloody maries.

4. Do not offer to help clean up bloody mary remnants that have been sitting around for 8 hours or more. Especially while hung over.

Those are the rules that I have learned at least.

Quote:

Originally posted by leagleaze
I opened my email to two more photos this morning. That brings our participation, including the hot lizard, to 11 people!

One of the pictures is kinda...well pornographic and has a note for one of our board members on it. I'm sure he will appreciate this.

Can you stand it? I bet you can't.

Are you excited? I bet you are.

Am I a tease as someone accused me of being this morning?

Of course I am.

Just over 12 hours to go folks. Send in your pictures.

You tease.

I am saddened that I will not be able to view TMBD, I'm tearing up as I type. Being out-of-town on the only weekend I have looked forward to for months (OK, maybe weeks) is going to suck for me.

I only hope that those of you, my bretheren and sisteren, who are able to view the above-named pics will describe in detail for those of us who will be sitting by a pool drinking anything but bloody marys and slathering the sunblock.

Quote:

Originally posted by tax_hottie
True enough. But this applies even if the son marries an Asian woman. It's funny. My parents want me to marry a Korean guy, but my mom doesn't want me to have a Korean mother-in-law. Maybe I need to find a Korean guy whose mother is dead.

My dad wants me to be with a Jewish woman. So much so that when I came out and my folks asked if I was dating anyone, and I said yes, and she's jewish. My dad hugged me and said see, you're still the good daughter. Your sister is marrying a catholic.

I don't understand this, because he never goes to temple and doesn't seem to give a damn about judaism.

My dad is strange.

Oh, I dated a Korean woman once. I have no idea whether she had a big dick, I never saw it. But I imagine she could have a big one or a small one, depending on her mood.

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Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
(mmmm* Clamato).

Suddenly, I have the same question as PP.

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Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic

Long pants convey a different message altogether — "Mr. Secretary, we have averted the crisis."

Mr. Secretary: Perhaps, but my balls sure are sweaty.

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Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic

. . .but I would no more wear shorts in public than I would march around yodeling and banging cans together . . .

Defining, I guess, all the essential differences that allow me to wear shorts.

Worse than wearing shorts (huh?)

is the fact that right now, even as we type, Hewitt and Schrichipan (an Asian man) are playing, on court fucking 11. Thats like watching your friends play on your hgh school's tennis court. and it shoud be a classic. If i lived in new york, i owuled just bail for the afternoon. you guys are so lucky.

Go here for a good time.

(Sound turned very low first. But sound you must have.)

Quote:

Originally posted by bilmore
Go here for a good time.

(Sound turned very low first. But sound you must have.)

Bilmore is an adolescent Yoda?

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Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic

But frankly most girls I see on the streets these days look fine to me. While I find it distressingly unambitious for anyone to wear jeans or t-shirts or tank tops in public, I find it no more shocking to see a 12 year old girl in the latest low-rider tight fashions than I do their mothers - usually less so. Do these people not remember the '80s, when we teens were all running around in acid-washed Guess jeans so tight they cut off our circulation, with heels? Sparkle eye shadow? Low buttoned blouses, big hair and racoon eyes?

You've apparently missed every episode and teaser for Springer, Jenny Jones, et al. for the past 5 years (each episode entitled, my daughter dresses like a ho). I think they're more disgusted with the HO wear, and I do mean HO wear. We're not talking low rider jeans and peasant tops. We're talking push up bras, thongs, short shorts etc. on 12 year old girls. Picture any rap video ho wear on a junior high aged girl. And don't forget the makeup and the gold spangle pants. We're not talking Daisy Dukes, which are cute enough in their own slutty way. We're talking street corner standing, lounge lizard dancin ho wear.

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
You've apparently missed every episode and teaser for Springer, Jenny Jones, et al. for the past 5 years (each episode entitled, my daughter dresses like a ho). I think they're more disgusted with the HO wear, and I do mean HO wear. We're not talking low rider jeans and peasant tops. We're talking push up bras, thongs, short shorts etc. on 12 year old girls. Picture any rap video ho wear on a junior high aged girl. And don't forget the makeup and the gold spangle pants. We're not talking Daisy Dukes, which are cute enough in their own slutty way. We're talking street corner standing, lounge lizard dancin ho wear.

I would like to take a moment to thank every single higher power that exists for blessing me with a son. Carry on.

Quote:

Originally posted by ThrashersFan
I would like to take a moment to thank every single higher power that exists for blessing me with a son. Carry on.

Sure. Keep telling yourself that. And then when he's 14 and brings one of those little ho bags home to meet mommy and he asks you for some condoms since the first one broke and she hasn't had a period in 4 months so what does that mean?

Quote:

Originally posted by ThrashersFan
I would like to take a moment to thank every single higher power that exists for blessing me with a son. Carry on.

Ditto x 2. Seeing the stuff our teenage babysitters wear, I have to admit I'm pretty appalled. If I was a teenage guy on the other hand...

Why, oh why, was I cursed to spend my formative years in a time when puritanism was in and oversized sweatshirts were as racy as things got?? The humanity!!

Quote:

Originally posted by NotFromHere
You've apparently missed every episode and teaser for Springer, Jenny Jones, et al. for the past 5 years (each episode entitled, my daughter dresses like a ho).

Granted, the Springer/Jones genre of teen does indeed wear ho-wear. But the equivalent of past generations always did, too, that's no change. As someone pointed out, in 1986, there was at least an order of ho-magnitude difference between me in my acid washed jeans and someone in a see-through white lace top showing a black bra with "boy toy" belt a la Madonna. The whole "Teen Shock Horror Disaster!" tone of the NYT article is based on the notion that these were "nice" middle-class kids looking slutty, and the kind of slutty they were describing is not Jerry Springer slutty.

Quote:

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
I think all your problems would be solved if you switched to the bloody caesar. (mmmm* Clamato).

*and this is a mmmm of longing, not a sarcastic mmmm.

Oh dear lord another Clamato fan. I've had a glass or two with a couple who loves it. It's advertised on billboards on the south side of Chicago...

The Olsen Twins are taking over. First, they will buy Starbucks Inc. Then, they will become the king and queen of the world.

Ashley will be the king. She's taller.

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Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

The Olsen Twins are taking over. First, they will buy Starbucks Inc. Then, they will become the king and queen of the world.

I will make room for them in my lair. But only if they dress slutty.

Quote:

Originally posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?
Oh dear lord another Clamato fan. I've had a glass or two with a couple who loves it. It's advertised on billboards on the south side of Chicago...

Blech. Must be an East Coast thing... You folks will eat or drink anything out of the ocean, won't you??

Quote:

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
The whole "Teen Shock Horror Disaster!" tone of the NYT article is based on the notion that these were "nice" middle-class kids looking slutty, and the kind of slutty they were describing is not Jerry Springer slutty.

The problem is that they are now dressing like actual Jerry Springer career sluts, not Future Stepford Wives of America dilettante sluts whose husbands will have actual Jerry Springer career sluts.

Quote:

Originally posted by Bad_Rich_Chic
Granted, the Springer/Jones genre of teen does indeed wear ho-wear. But the equivalent of past generations always did, too, that's no change. As someone pointed out, in 1986, there was at least an order of ho-magnitude difference between me in my acid washed jeans and someone in a see-through white lace top showing a black bra with "boy toy" belt a la Madonna.

No doubt there were teen girls who dressed like Madonna in 1986. But I think the difference is that in 1986, a larger percentage of suburban parents were in the "You're not going outside wearing that!" school of thought. The parents who tut-tutted about the sexualization of prepubescent girls weren't pitied as prudes, as they are today.

Right now, I look upon the very rare 12-year-old who isn't showing her navel and bare shoulders, and I say a quiet fertility prayer for her parents, who obviously deserve to breed more.

Quote:

Originally posted by Aloha Mr. Learned Hand
Blech. Must be an East Coast thing... You folks will eat or drink anything out of the ocean, won't you??

Ditto. My only experience with Clamato is when a few of my friends and I were drinking in a frat house all night and decided to take a road trip at 4 in the morning. We stopped to get gas at 7-11 and one of the guys (a guy who never hung with us again after that) insisted on getting a Clamato. Not a good idea after you've been drinking all night. The minute he opened up that bottle, the car immediately smelled like the wharf. Comments ranged from "rancid tuna" to "cat food" to other rancid "tuna" items I shall not repeat here, but begins with "skanky."

Quote:

Originally posted by Atticus Grinch
Right now, I look upon the very rare 12-year-old who isn't showing her navel and bare shoulders, and I say a quiet fertility prayer for her parents, who obviously deserve to breed more.

But kids could wear those strappy tanks when I was little precisely because it was widely understood there was nothing sexual about it. Now the message is definitely tartier.

Recently, I saw a barely-pubescent middle schooler wearing a "Playboy" tank top, and badly wanted to beat the shit out of the stupid subservient little tool and her stupid subservient tool of a mom. Why not just drop her out of school and sell her to a pimp right now?