Ok, so, if you have a party at which you and your colleagues run around nude here are a couple of pieces of advice.

1. Do not invite your much younger, coworker, who at the time was your employee.
1(a) The younger coworker will wisely refuse
2. Do not take pictures
3. If you do take pictures, do not put them on the Internet
3a Do not bring pictures to work and forget to remove the nude pictures
5. If you do put your pictures on the Internet make sure you don't let anyone at work know you did so.

Just my thoughts for the day.

six of one, half dozen the other, tell that to the captain's brother
 

Yay! I posted something that made it into the lizard's sig line!

Ho-wear
 

That's another thing. One of the hottest selling items in the junior section of most department stores is the Playboy clothing. Any mom/dad that would let their daughter run around in playboy wear is sick in the head. It's not "cute" it's clothing promoting a business that's run by a 70 year old dinosaur in love with himself so much that he said "OK, lets make some bunny wear in junior sizes."
Edited to add that if Hef said that he'd probably add, "only skank it up a bit so we'll sell more."

You post such a thing without a link?

ACK! Were there partners involved?
Because just the thought of that is making me queasy.

Ho-wear
 

On my last trip to the galleria, someplace other than Hot Topic was selling a tank top that said "Lolita." I bought one for each Olsen twin.

Somewhere, a plaintiff's employment lawyer is popping a bottle of champagne. Someone at that office must've been offended!

Ho-wear
 

Direct your anger at the geniuses who started marketing "Porn Star" branded clothing to the same crowd about three years ago. These people should be pummelled toothless, and then forced to fight the young girls' absentee parents to the death.

Confidential to PLF: Save it. I know you're worried, but I don't want your mix tape, unless it's from the heart --- that is, it starts and ends with Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" and has "Forever Young" somewhere in between. Only that will crack my emotional armor and get you to the squishy insides.

Lance Armstrong
 

I know this was mentioned earlier, but now that Lance is going to be a single man, any interest in him? Would having a relationship with arguably one of the finest athletes in the world be so bad? Would it suck to be a bike widow? Free trip to France every year?

There is no link to post, as this event happened several years ago. I had forgotten about it and was reminded of it over lunch. It amused me so I thought I would share.

Apparently, since I was the much younger, innocent coworker in question, I was able to fill in some blanks people had wondered about.

You see what happened is the person came back to work after this party, at which apparently, much nudity happened. She had a card and gave it to me and another lesbian in the office (the person who had the party is a lesbian too, it was a party of women only.) On the card was a link to the web site she had created.

Before I knew what the site led to (I hadn't looked at it yet) I left the card on my desk. Someone saw it. Rest is history.

But also, I learned today, apparently she brought in some photos and shared them with a male member of the office, who came across some nude photos. As far as we know, she didn't realize they were there.

And to answer the other question, yes, partner level, or what would pass for one where I work. We don't have partners per se.

Lance Armstrong
 

Yes. It would suck . . . the man weighs his food. Cyclists are geeky and obsessive and Lance is their king.

Also, and I hate to say this, there have been strong rumors of adultery here in town.

Dick Size
 

Yes, those Chicagoans are known for their love of the ocean. That's why they live so close to it.

Clamato gets advertised on billboards around here, but it's in spanish and I don't speak spanish so I don't know what they are saying is so great about it.

I was more offended the night I had to share a hotel room at a conference and she decided it was ok to change in front of me, taking off her shirt casually while we were talking. Facing me, and, of course, no bra.

Lance Armstrong
 

YOU HOMEWRECKING WHORE! And with a white man no less.

Lance Armstrong
 

Of him cheating or of her cheating? Or both?

Bulimia inthe office
 

Two things:

1. Morning sickness is a misnomer -- pregnancy related vomiting can happen at any moment of the day (or night). Which brings me to my second point:

2. "Pregnant mommy-tracker" or "Pregnant non-mommy-tracker", there is simply no holding down hormone-related vomit. I suppose you could always just do it in your trash can if you're really that concerned that those you work with would illegally discriminate against you for being pregnant (which I believe is what you were implying with that statement, but YMMV, FWIW). Oh, and NTTAWWT.

Ho-wear
 

Ummm. Dude. You just admitted that you like Alphaville--in public. Seriously. That is some fucked up shit right there. Not only that, you admitted that Alphaville makes you emotional.

Don't you have like a sensitive-person support group for people who love the earth thing to go to or something.


C(Foreeeeever Young, I want to beeeee Forever Young...)tD

Lance Armstrong
 

Yeah, but think of the stamina.

So, I didn't know you had to be obsessive/compulsive to be a full time biker?

Bite your tongue. Despite the protestations of my husband, I pray to all higher entities on a daily basis that my son is gay. I can handle a boyfriend easier than some bitch-ho.

Lance Armstrong
 

His. But she should still keep following the pro tour. There are some amazingly hot guys there, if she can pry them off their bikes long enough for some action.

Lance Armstrong
 

They're also pain freaks, if you're into that. They keep insisting it's an adrenaline rush.

Pssh. You women are too sensitive. That wouldn't have offended me at all.

Yeah, and on top of that you won't be a babysitting grandma by the time you're 40.

Kids These Days
 

This is silly. The real difference is that in 1986 you were 17 years younger (on a side note, I was only 10 years younger), could still distinguish between musical acts in the same genre, and were not a parent.

Bulimia inthe office
 

In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crime; and the district attorneys, who prosecute the offenders.

These are their portraits.

Law & Order: Artistic Intent.

http://brandonbird.com/lno/sofia2.jpg

Sensibility
 

You don't know that for sure.

It's always the women with saggy breasts that will do that in front of you.

Encourage him to come out early. It's much less of a pain for the family to have to go through adolescence once.

And as an added bonus, at least somebody in the family would be getting some anal action.

I love modern art. Part I.
 

I love modern art. Part II.
 

Nice one.

Of course, according to Augusten Burroughs, there is a percentage of the gay male community that does not engage in that stuff. Mouth/hands only, I guess.

I was kind of . . . intrigued that Lennie is pictured with a hot dog in at least a couple of the submissions. Perhaps it's just a cigar.

The one with Jack with some woman's head over him was just weird. It seemed kind of father/son/holy ghost or mary/jesus to me. Except she seemed southeast asian.

According to the biography that I read, Oscar Wilde only engaged in intercrural sex. It only took me two years to learn what "intercrural" meant.

He's only five. I have plenty of time to get unsquicky about the ass-sex thing. Don't be getting me all upset.

So, now you're going to make US wait that long, too?

(Damn, people, enough with these internally-unfinished posts.)

In that situation, you just want to be glad he's still asking you for advice.

Comfort yourself with the idea that, if television can be believed, he'll drag YOU out for the school-clothes shopping trip, and do a better job at it than you could ever hope to do.

Anythingthatmoves
 

Thanks, lizard king, for making me do a freakin' google search. As a result, I found the anythingthatmoves community (I think this means bisexual, but it could carry over to other species too, I guess). Here's an advice column that defines "intercrural sex" for everyone, along with having a little helpful (?) anal advice.

http://www.anythingthatmoves.com/ish20/wymnty.html

[no bad pictures, but as I said it seems to be a bisexual community webpage, so use discretion at work.]

Football Funnies
 

Humorous wishlist for football -- if you don't like sports just pass this by instead of reading it and then asking me why in the hell I posted it here on the FB blah blah blah blah... because I find it funny and wanted to share, you party-pooper.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/column...rtnersite=espn

We want the sideline reporters to tell us, "Sorry, got nothing for you here. We never have anything for you. Now let's go back to the booth for the rest of eternity."

We want Mike Shanahan to relax his jaw before his face explodes and showers the field with bolts, springs and screws.

And finally, we want the Super Bowl pre-game show to go on pay-per-view, so we can miss it with an even clearer conscience.