old glory
 

This bothers me a lot. Not because I'm worried about some message, but because of the disrespect.

Note 4 U.S.C. Sec. 1 et seq., especially Sec. 8.

Unless, of course, you are looking to disrespect the flag. I'm okay with that. Intentionally making a statement by doing something to a flag is fine; it's the people who can't be bothered to wonder about what they are saying that irritate me.

Interesting comment on benefits article
 

Alas, no opportunity to investigate. I'm not a big fan of beer or sports, so I will be making other plans.

And, just as a heads up, remember she won't like it if you bring the beer -- as hostess, it is her duty and obligation to supply all food and drink. It would be offensive to bring beer.

Please read
 

Word of advice.
1. If you have scheduled a meeting with people, do not consume the onions that appear on your sandwich/salad. Do not consume anything with the ingredient "pico de gallo."

2. If you accidently consume said onions/pico, for god's sake don't drink any carbonated beverages.

3. If you belch (even silently) in a small room with lots of people and suddenly every needs a drink/bathroom/smoke break - then yes, it's you.

4. Do not make people relive your lunch.

That is all.

Edited to add, that I, personally, never consume onions. I find them offensive in both taste and smell. Especially the second time around (for the smell thing).

Interesting comment on benefits article
 

Shes going to be blindfolded anyways. She wont know.

I thought everyone liked "sports".

Craving poll
 

Leather, gasoline, dirt and tobacco (like from a crushed up cigarette, not snuff or chew). These were not all the same woman. Pica is apparently quite common among pregnant women.

I once sat in a teleconference with a pregnant attorney who began absentmindly nibbling (but not actually eating) the strap of her Coach briefcase. She kept at it for several minutes until she snapped back to reality and remembered I was there.

Interesting comment on benefits article
 

That way, she won't know who gyzzed on the duvet.

Interesting comment on benefits article
 

Tonight? Baseball and breasticles. All I ask is that nobody block my view of the game with boobies or anything else -- the magic number is 7 and every game counts.

edited to say that since we are coming into the home stretch and my Braves are "guaranteed" to be in the post-season I am suspending many of my rules. You may bring your own beer and food and you may gyzz on the duvet. Just so long as TM understands that the rule about messing with the kitties remains in place.

Please read
 

Word of advice:

Do not make people relive your odor-related experiences with disgusting ill-mannered people.

Unless it is amusing or related to sex.

And even then, leave the odor out of it.

Heartfelt apology
 

I sent a PM with this apology and then decided it should be public. Earlier today, I failed to have a comeback to someone who implied that with regard to boringosity, I live in a glass house and should not throw stones.

The person to whom I failed to be mean, denigrating and/or insulting was robustpuppy, and I have apologized to her via PM and now publicly.

I would like to thank the person who was kind enough to bring my dereliction of duty to my attention.

While I cannot promise to be as insulting and denigrating as possible in each and every post, be assured that now that I'm aware of the problem, I will be more careful to evaluate posts for appropriate levels of meanspiritedness.

Thank you for your understanding and I hope you can overlook my posting inadequacy.

neighsayer's (where is she? i miss her) old glory
 

Says nothing about painting your horse with the stars and bars, though:

http://www.laurahartley.com/flags/im...flag_horse.jpg

TM

old glory
 

Oooooh. My pet peeve is people who fly those window attached flag thingys to their cars, and then let the flag get all tattered and torn. It's an AMERICAN FLAG, for God's sake! Once it's torn, it should be disposed of...(preferrably by burning).

Bn'(I can teach you the correct way to fold one too)B

Please read
 

This just in...
do not walk into a person's office to ask/answer a question and leave your onion vapor trail. Just don't do it. It's all I ask.

Interesting comment on benefits article
 

Does this somehow tie in to the earlier discussion on length and girth?

Please read
 

I'm just trying to help out and this is the thanks I get. Fuck you. Is that related to sex enough for you?

Interesting comment on benefits article
 

:shakehd:


I post this emoticon not only for TM but because it shows exactly what I did in my office when I read your post -- before I convinced myself that you MUST be kidding.

neighsayer's (where is she? i miss her) old glory
 

That was born that way. It's the famous Horse of a Different Color.

Question relating to sex
 

Okay, so the FDIC insures bank accounts up to $100,000, right? So that is per account? So a person can just open up another account at the same bank once one account hits $100,000 and still be covered? I love being boring.

Question relating to sex
 

I'm not really sure. But I can tell you what my folks did. They had several accounts, but they were with a bank that insured up to 300k each. They had one for my mom, one for my dad and one that was joint. So they told me that each of those accounts was insured for 300k.

Of course, if you are trying to suggest by this question and the way in which it is phrased that you have become wealthy by being boring, that's not very classy.

I'm boring too, and you don't hear me bragging about my wealth.

Hats, Fur & Other Cravings
 

I'd love to see DS's hat with the feathers. Sounds grand. Speaking of vintage hats, DS should have been here in the Patch last weekend. There was an estate sale at the home of a prominent local hatmaker from the 40s-60s or so. You wouldn't have believed the fabulous hats she had. I bought a "bolero" style hat and a 40s or 50s hat that looked like the hat here but out of straw cloth, no flower and the ribbon didn't dangle:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...3&category=960

I always thought I wasn't a "hat person" but met a hatmaker at an arts & crafts fair and discoveered the right style for your face shape makes all the difference. Now I have some for special occasions and a couple I wear regularly.

As for fur, SD is nuts if he can't tell the difference between fake and fur. You can even tell the difference between a poor quality fur and a good one. No one should bitch about Minnesotans wearing fur. It gets cold here like you wouldn't believe. I have a full-length shearling coat that is the only thing for below zero weather. I also have a perfectly frivolous vintage Persian lamb stole/cape that I wear to the opera when it is cold but not bitter cold. I'd wear mink if I felt like spending that much $$ on a coat. And I wouldn't feel guilty about it either.

The oddest craving by a pregnant woman was a vegetarian friend who started craving beef.

Please read
 

Sure. But could I ask you to shower first? You smell like onions.

Question relating to banking
 

Dear Boring one.

It was my understanding that the way to get $300,000 covered at a bank if you were married was to have one account in wife's name, one account in husband's name, and one joint account. That leads me to believe that two accounts under the same name are subject to the $100,000 cap on an aggregate basis.

However, I learned that a long time ago, I learned it with respect to a credit union, and the people from whom I learned it were not the brightest bulbs in the Christmas lights.

Your partner in boringosity,

ltl/fb

Hats, Fur & Other Cravings
 

She needs iron.

Question relating to banking
 

Edited to say, fuck me, I pulled an rp.

Question relating to banking
 

You suck. You are being entirely too nice and helpful.

What is wrong with you?

Question relating to sex
 

The question was not personal, somebody in the office asked me. Around here they seem to assume that as a lawyer I should know this shit. Nobody I know has ever had $100,000 in the bank not to mention $300,000 so I didn't know the answer. By using the re line and ending with "I am boring" I was making fun of my own post and failure to speak of something pertinent to the board.

Thanks for the information though. Was it your parents' bank that insured for the $300,000? I thought the FDIC only did up to $100,000 per account. I will google it.


Thanks to RP and ltl -- and I appreciate the link. Now I know.

Question relating to sex
 

It's per depositor, not per account, but yes, up to a point.

http://www.fdic.gov/deposit/deposits/insured/basic.html

Question relating to sex
 

It was the bank itself. The FDIC insured only up to 100k of that. But I do know they wouldn't insure two accounts in the same exact name for 600k, i.e. if I had two accounts as leagleaze in total they would insure 300k. But if I have one as leagleaze, my dad has one, and he has one jointly with me as dad & leagleaze, we could insure up to 900k. (Or in a traditional bank which only offers the FDIC protection, 300k.)

Heartfelt apology
 

I thought there was an exception to the meanspiritedness requirement where others abused the person on your behalf. I note that Paigow was nice to RP today, and I believe that counts.

Remedial Toasting
 

Watched the rerun of the QE/SG premiere --- Butch the artist. Recalling this and the George the trainer episode, it appears that this country had encountered a crisis of toastmaking, and Jai's not picking up the slack. Let me clue you in: if you don't have anything to say, don't make a toast. A toast should be short, sweet, and concern only one thing or person. There's nothing worse than some assjack toasting the guest of honor, and of course em's lovely spouse who's put up with em all these years, and thank you all for coming it's been great to see you, and what wonderful food let's-thank-the-chef, and let's hear it for the band etc.

How to Make a Toast:
Look around to make sure most glasses are filled before starting. (Do not make a toast with just water in your glass.) Stand. Face the person you are toasting. Lift the glass. Look directly in the recipient's eye --- do not break gaze. Say three sentences.* Slightly incline the glass toward the recipient. Take a sip and sit the fuck down.

How to Be the Recipient of a Toast:
Stay seated. Shut up. Smile awkwardly. Occasionally look away from the person toasting, exchanging shy looks with others that say "Can you believe all this fuss over me?" Do not touch your glass. Do not touch your motherfucking glass.

*These three sentences should be in the following form: (1) Why you know the recipient, and for how long. (2) Heartfelt generic expression of admiration and/or thanks with which others can agree --- don't make a room full of people thank your former roommate for turning you on your side that night you almost swallowed your tongue. (3) "To [Insert Name Here]." Ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom.

Question relating to sex
 

Not directly, anyway.

Question relating to sex
 

Nope. It's cumulative.

neighsayer's (where is she? i miss her) old glory
 

What would that make this then?:

http://page.netfirms.com/gif/1poodlesht.gif

TM

PS - I found Pushy the Puppy's girlfriend.

http://www.marylen.com/jpegs/dogs/dog3.jpg

Question relating to banking
 

This is exactly the kind of "change back!" behavior (or behaviour, if you prefer) that self-help books and therapists warn against.

I'm usually helpful on for-real things and mean about random things I know nothing about. Unless people doubt my wisdom on the for-real things I'm helpful on. Then I abuse them.

neighsayer's (where is she? i miss her) old glory
 

For the love of Mike, someone make that thing smaller!!!!

neighsayer's (where is she? i miss her) old glory
 

Jeezus H, where the hell is PETA when you really need them?

neighsayer's (where is she? i miss her) old glory
 

Careful - that's the kind of wish that got TF in trouble, I hear.

Remedial Toasting
 

You need to attend some Irish wakes as well as Brahmin weddings.

Toasts should be thoughful, creative, and humorous. Good toasts can be very short or very long. They usually hang together and make a point. They come up to and toy with the line separating good taste from bad taste, and ultimately retreat to the good taste side. However, they do not fit some staid formula.

Good toasts are not given in isolation. One good toast does not a wedding make. They should go on and on, leading to a memorable night of crazy but thoughtful drunkenness. Good toasts are like a good day on the FB.

neighsayer's (where is she? i miss her) old glory
 

Why is his penis coming out of his leg? And if it's Pushy's girlfriend, why does she have a penis in the first place?

neighsayer's (where is she? i miss her) old glory
 

And sorry, bilmore, but you should change your avatar to this, even though it outs you:

http://home.earthlink.net/~iadams/deck1.jpg

TM

Remedial Toasting
 

This is the only thing in your post with which I disagree. I have yet to hear a "very long" toast that was as good as a short one. Sure, there are brilliant story-tellers who can sparkle. They can go from hilarious to maudlin in one sentence, and not make it sound contrived. God love 'em --- they should do eulogies at funerals and emcee everything else. Those rare people have enough blarney that they'll ignore the formula no matter what I say. But even their toasts are better when structured with an efficient set-up and a crisp money shot.

Yeah, some people can talk like they just walked off the set of an Aaron Sorkin production. But saying my advice is inapplicable because some people are already good at toasting is like saying we shouldn't learn to dress to accentuate boobage because some people are Anna Nicole Smith.