Sad news for Thrasher
 

Likewise, I am sure, for breeders who hear from nonbreeders how boring and unfulfilling the life of a breeder is. Choices. I assume that everyone is happy with his or her choices unless I am told otherwise and then I say "shut up, it was your choice."

Sad news for Thrasher
 

Alright, I meant despite the lack of a gaping hole, that is. Better now, pervs? [Yes, bilmore, I saw your reply too.]

Um, gory birthing stuff
 

Hey, Paigs asked. What part of "Um, gory birthing stuff" in the re: line wasn't clear. Choices, people, choices.

birth and rebirth
 

I'm convinced that the childbirth video they showed in highschool was the most effective tool in the anti-teen pregnancy arsenal. If they were really serious about preventing teen pregnancy, they'd plaster the schools with vidcaps from The Miracle of Life.

Speaking of birth, a band will be reborn next year. http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/147...headlines=true (spree: Pixies to reunite, tour next spring)

So, how about those Mets?
 

I found that show painfully embarrassing, which probably explains why I don't watch reality TV much. Why is Queer Eye not on until 10 pm? Oh the humanity! More importantly, when is the board going to come together to buy me a TiVo?

Sad news for Thrasher
 

Not everyone has a choice by the way, that's why I always thought it rude to ask WHY a person had no children. A friend of mine had endometriosis (but I didn't know for years -of course, none of my business but she eventually told me) and it was not for lack of trying that she and her husband didn't have kids. They desperately wanted a child and it did bring her to tears when people asked her why she didn't have kids. Why people have the nerve to ask why is amazing to me. And when someone starts to cry after you've asked - shouldn't you just drop it? But no. There are people who will "offer advice" about how to get pregnant (as if you've never looked into it), one lady at her church WOULD NOT STOP. Even tricked her into going to her chiropractor because she said it would help her ovulate. I'm still dumbfounded by this. My friend was so angry about this that she had to change churches.
Why is this your business? Leave them alone. Eventually they adopted, but they really really wanted to do it the natural way first.

Um, gory birthing stuff
 

Has anyone here looked during a C-section? I kept my head down -- I was too worried I'd hit the floor.

Miscasting of the century
 

What part of AP did it for you? The threesome with the two hookers he ends up killing with a nail gun? Or when he makes his girlfriend eat the urinal cake covered in chocolate?

str(big Bret Easton Ellis fan myself, seriously)8

Sad news for Thrasher
 

With your ass obsession, you're highly unlikely to reproduce either. You DID read about how the birds and the bees works in your jr-high sex ed class, right?

So, how about those Mets?
 

Maybe if you install an Amazon link we can all click through and help with the.....
or what the hell - just use your fucking bonus and drag your ass down to the [insert electronics store here] and get one like the rest of us.

Paigow poker
 

Hey Str8,
You just got back from Vegas, what the hell is Paigow poker?

Bennifer to wed in Santa Barbara
 

First of all, I can't believe they used "Bennifer" in the title. Second - I thought location was a big secret?
Third - Is this a red herring?

NEW YORK, Sept. 10 — Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez are getting married Sunday at the Four Seasons Biltmore Hotel in Santa Barbara, Calif., according to the mother of another woman who’s getting married there the same day.
“IT WILL BE at the hotel,” Vivian Terhark of Spooner, Wis., told ABC News Radio. Terhark said she knows this because guests at her daughter Julie Ann’s wedding are being told to carry their invitations at all times to avoid being mistaken as crashers at the celebrity nuptials.

So when does the death pool start for these two?link

Sad news for Thrasher
 

I cannot fathom a satisfactory answer to that question.

What's worse, when someone offers to show you a baby book, which at first is just "baby's first moments in french-fry warmer" and such, but then, hidden in there (in manner of crouching tiger...) are a bunch of graphic delivery room photos -- and mom isn't even wearing one of those hospital gowns -- good GOD! I couldn't stand to look at my own pregnant body as the delivery date drew nigh (I'd avert my eye in the shower), why do I want to see someone else's? (Not to mention the spread eagle and baby's head popping out -- a little too up close and personal, if you know what I mean -- and I think you do!) EEEEeeew.

Photo albums like that ought to have warning labels (as one sometimes finds on record albums or similar).

So, how about those Mets?
 

Lighten up, Francis.

Miscasting of the century
 

The only thing I dug about AP was the protagonist's suits. I recall thinking "Damn, that cat's got sweeeeet threads." I almost bought a double breasted job because of that flick, then I came to my senses. You gotta appreciate the spread collars they all wear. We Americans can't dress for shit - the point collar is an abomination.

Less than Zero was boring. "We're rich, we're decadent, we're wild... we're dead." Fitzgerald did that bit nearly a century ago 100X better. You have to be nuts to try to rewrite Gatsby in Bev Hills and make everyone a cokehead. Contrived.

AP was a much better read. I plowed through that over a weekend at the beach and couldn't put it down. Wasn't great writing, wasn't a great story, but Ellis turned the shock meter to 11 on that one... When the protagonist offed the kid in the zoo I said "Jesus, fuck this guy's got no soul." Then I realized, that's exactly what Ellis wanted - revulsion at both the protagonist and the novelist... smart way to make a wheelbarrow full of dough...

Bennifer to wed in Santa Barbara
 

You cruel, heartless cynic. I am one hundred percent certain that Ben and JLo's sacred union will last for their entire lives in a perfect convergence of joy, oneness, devotion, and love. Just like her last two marriages.

Sad news for Thrasher
 

Gentlemen, I think we have located the Ark of the Covenant.

Sad news for Thrasher
 

Somehow, I'm not grossed out at all by the birth of animals -- I've seen cows, horses and dogs giving birth (and loads of other animals on "Discovery Channel" type programs.) But human deliveries give me the willies.

(Which reminds me -- over the weekend, I met the woman who is the "female voice" of the Discovery Channel -- I wonder how you get that job?)

Miscasting of the century
 

It was his rituals. Like the peeling of the mask in the morning and the whole grooming process. And his explanations of the Huey Lewis and Phil Collins oeuvres. And how he got so angry about the other guys business card.

I'm hearing voices
 

Did you find her voice familiar, or did you learn about her job some other way?

Barbie's a Jew, AND a Threat to Morality
 

So watch out for your daughters:

http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/meast/....ap/index.html

Sad news for Thrasher
 

Warning labels are a good idea. But then again, good sense is a good idea. Photos of your crotch? Really? Do people really think you want to see their crotch?
I don't take pictures of my crotch and show them to people (breasticle day notwithstanding).
I can't imagine being in a situation where I would have to say to someone "AAAAGGGGHHHH, what the hell are you doing here? Are you trying to kill me? How about some warning? What are you thinking? What's wrong with you? Get me some more alcohol!"

Sad news for Thrasher
 

That's precious. Just this morning, my two-year-old was running around the house gleefully shouting "Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit!" which was really darling because, against all possible odds and expectations, he picked up his first swear word from his mother.

(And that, brothers and sisters, is your Bilmoresque Post of the Day.)

Paigow poker
 

Paigow Poker is a game where both you and the dealer are dealt seven cards. Both you and the dealer divide the seven cards into a "five card" hand and a "two card" hand. The only rule in doing so is that your five card hand must be able to beat your two card hand -- if you have one pair, you can't put it in your two card hand, because that would beat your "Ace high" five card hand.

You win if both of your hands beat both of the dealer's hands. You win 97.5% of your bet.
You lose if both of the dealer's hands beat both of your hands. You lose 100% of your bet.
You push if the result is a 1-1 tie. You get to keep 100% of your bet.

Decisions come when you have two pair, and have to decide to keep them together in your five card hand, or to split them up and put the big pair in your five card hand and the little pair in your two card hand. Other decisions come when you have a straight or a flush, with really bad other two cards, and choosing whether to keep the straight or flush together (which basically guarantees you a push), or turning it into a worse five card hand and a better two card hand, which in some cases gives you a chance of winning.

The term "Paigow" is synonymous with "Really Shitty." If you've got no ace, no pair, no straight, no flush, you've got paigow. Everyone always roots for the dealer to have paigow, so the whole table wins.

str(all your gambling questions answered)8

So, how about those Mets?
 

I am convinced that overweight (or "fat") people are behind the annoying practice of the office birthday "party." Who else would want birthday cake 50 times a year? I've always thought birthday celebrations were a little silly anyway. What your really saying is, "Congratulations. You were born and you haven't died yet." Why would I want to mark such a silly occasion with work "friends" while standing around uncomfortably around the giant cookie. Look, people, I'm not your friend, they pay me to be with you.

Miscasting of the century
 

Yes, because we certainly need spread collars and big full-windsor knots on all the doughy american faces. That's looking sharp!

So, how about those Mets?
 

Y'all get giant cookies? I love giant cookies. With the frosting, of course. We never get giant cookies. Maybe for my next birthday I will a frosted giant cookie.

So, how about those Mets?
 

Where the hell do you work? That sounds perverted.

Bennifer to wed in Santa Barbara
 

This is obviously a red herring. Do you really think they would share a facility with Vivian Terhark of Spooner, Wis.?

Paigow poker
 

This answers so many questions. Thank you.

Sad news for Thrasher
 

(Actually, if I thought that would do it, I would have had him look - ba-dum-bum - tsssss.)

It's just so, um, unlike what it usually looks like (if the video I saw was any indication....), I guess there was some concern on my part that he wouldn't really think of "it" in the same way anymore.

Add to that my mother-in-law's wholehearted approval of my approach (additional fact -- her husband is an OB-GYN), I figured I wasn't too far afield with my concern.

So, how about those Mets?
 

So what? If you're obligated to artificially play nice with all these random people anyway, why shouldn't they make it a little more palatable by feeding you cake?

Except it should be really good cake.

So, how about those Mets?
 

What do you have against giant frosted cookies? They're yummy! Loaded with transfats, I'm sure, but YUM-MY!

What do serve at your office birthdays? Slab of tofu topped with sprouts? Pulled pork? Sheesh.

So, how about those Mets?
 

Yeah! No more stinking carrot cake or that damned German chocolate crap. Nuts and coconut should not be in/on cake.
Chocolate. Plain and simple.

So, how about those Mets?
 

If the "frosting" tastes like bleach, I'll pass.

So, how about those Mets?
 

I don't mind playing nice for work-related reasons. I just don't see why should be forced to observe yet another milestone of my slow descent into the gaping maw with them. Just because they want cake.

It hardly ever is. Fat people aren't very discerning about cake.

I'm hearing voices
 

No, the mutual friend who introduced us told me that's what she did (and not in front of her, so I couldn't interrogate "The Voice").

So, how about those Mets?
 

What can I say? I like asparagus.

So, how about those Mets?
 

To the contrary - I think fat people are likely more appreciative of good food than are thin people.

Purses
 

So PJ, what's the deal with the new purses? Most of the purses I saw, in stores, this weekend were shaped like enlarged hot dogs, with straps.
http://www.gucci.com/images/gucci_pr...000-full-5.jpg
There was a guy in the Gucci store coveting this one. I think it was the last one on earth - he had his wife on the cell phone describing it to her. Good husband.

In addition, I saw hundreds of those stupid Louis Vuitton white purses with rainbow LV this weekend. PLUS, hundreds more knockoffs. Why anyone would knock off this hideous thing is beyond me.

MY question, PJ, is should I now go out and buy a hotdog purse in order to be "in" with the fall fashion?