Texas wants you anyway.
 

I'll give the benefit of the doubt here. It's hard to aim from a moving pickup when the gun is in one hand, you've got a Lone Star in the other and you're guiding the steering wheel with your knee while doing 75 on a two laner. Sheesh, even Annie Oakley would have had a tough time with that.

There are other reasons, more approprate to the politics board, which serve to lessen my respect for Texans. :P

sf

Queer eye is offensive!
 

It's amazing how predictable you've become. I point out your arrogance. You bring up "PC" or "Rap music" or "tv" (all subjects where I criticize your arrogance). I explain to you how so many other people see you. Your knee jerk reaction is to say, "that's funny because you act the same way." No shit. The difference is, I see it and for the most part know I'm full of shit. You are convinced you are flawless when you are actually worse than me. There's the fucking rub.

TM

satellite radio
 

Cute. This reminds me -- the other day I was speaking with a friend of mine who said her 5 y.o. son (this is the one who recently moved to Scarsdale, for those of you following my life that closely...) loved "Chicago" and loves the soundtrack. To which I said, "well, I guess we know where this is going". (I almost said Anttwat right afterward, but caught myself just in time.)

This is the same kid who, before his mother can even get the key in the ignition, is shouting, "Mommy -- put on 'Shake your Tail Feather'!!!" and then has to listen to it three times in succession. Very odd boy...

Tofu blech
 

I believe that's distantly cheese-related aerosol stuff that doesn't contain enough cheese to actually meet the FDA definition of "cheese".

But anyone who even remotely tries to suggest that my crunchy Cheetos or Hostess Sno-balls aren't completely natural and wholesome can go fuck themselves.

Tofu blech
 

you could always go for the environmentally sensitive alternative, Quorn .

(spree: mushed up fungus, er, mycoprotein, in various, vaguely familiar shapes)

Tofu blech
 

Things don't have to be wholesome to be tas-ty (he says with a Wonk-like gleam in his eye).

Tofu blech
 

No thank you. I have survived a long time without partaking in Spam and Vienna Sausages*. I'd like to keep the streak going.

The Brains in Milk Gravy is scary.

Anne
Spam, spam, spam, spam.
Spam, spam, spam, spam.
SPAM!............

*Despite the best efforts of the Director of the summer canoe camp I went to.

Tofu blech
 

I can hardly wait to see where this is going. So to speak.

Tofu blech
 

Warning to all: do not try this stuff as an adult. it is better to think fondly back to how much you enjoyed it as a kid than to have the knowledge that it is actually quite foul.

Tofu blech
 

Hmmm, do you think the Quorn factory is like a really big Play-Doh shape maker thingy?

Anne
Think varieties on the fun factory.

Tofu blech
 

Can't stand them either but I learned from my father that Vienna Sausage can lids make very fine roofing material for bird feeders.

Queer eye is offensive!
 

Jaws for Jesus.

Tofu blech
 

Clearly all that Sno-ball eating is doing wonders for your temperament.

(There's something magical out there called fiber. You might experience some relief after eating it and see the world in a whole new light.)

In the meantime, back to the ignore list.

Tofu blech
 

Gwinky, have you been eating sno-balls?

Tofu blech
 

I'm glad we've finally gotten back to an FB-appropriate topic like snowballing. Please carry on.

Queer eye is offensive!
 

You know, for many people, this would strike them as a good final comment. You use it as the prime support for most of your tirades. You have to, because it really is all you've got in calling me arrogant.

Now, you've rightfully asserted that you are paying no attention to substance, and I can see that. If your point is, stop arguing even when you are sure you're right, say so. If your point is, I'm wrong somehow, I would think substance would count for something in that argument.

If you want to contribute something here, tell me - do you think that jokes that involve homosexuality, but do not ridicule it, are taboo? Is the very mention of that out of bounds? 'Cuz, that's the position you are defending here, unless the only reason you've chimed in is because you care not the subject as long as you can rip into me, which really does bespeak some ego issues on your part.

(Have we beaten this horse dead yet?)

Up in Smoke
 

I have to think we've got some misplaced priorities when Tommy Chong has to go to federal prison for selling bongs (err, water pipes) over the 'net. Not to drag politics over here, but Ashcroft so needs to get high.

Tofu blech
 

Yawn. Does that mean you're going to start yapping about me all the time, like Paigow and Thurgreed?

Queer eye is offensive!
 

That wasn't my position actually. Unless someone else put that forth that is.

And yes, I think it is pretty dead.

Tofu blech
 

Please don't tell me that my beloved Hostess Sno-balls are named after some unappealing sex act. 'Cause then I'll feel like a perv retroactive to about age 4.

Tofu blech
 

cf. Clerks.

But if you like, you can think of the Pinky and the Brain definition of snowball: evil hamster with world domination bent, not unlike Shape Shifter.

Up in Smoke
 

Ashcroft is the only guy I can think of who could freak out on pot. Might not be a good idea.

Queer eye is offensive!
 

Signs Point To Yes.

Queer eye is offensive!
 

pretty dead? This thread is already on a boat to a dog-food plant in Japan.

Or maybe entering the Quorn factory.

Tofu blech
 

Have you never read this board?

Snowballing.

Jeez, people, what the hell is going on here?????

This is the FB, home to pervy sex talk, relationships, cosmetics, etiquette, and very little fashion.

Now, granted, I have been a little busy lately, but come on.

The last time we posted a sex question, only Chef and I answered. What the hell is wrong with you people? And where is our chastity test?

Queer eye is offensive!
 

If I can't fight with TM, then what's the point of life?

Geeze, people.

Tofu blech
 

Uh, I think the test is here, though I haven't taken it in over a year....

Edited to add, haven't taken it in the last 20 seconds

You are 25% Pure!
(Very interesting.)

Here's how the REST of the world breaks down, compared to you:


people less pure than you (3%)
people like you (0%)
people more pure than you (97%)

Based on the 13,345,803 submissions before you.

I think my purity score went down nine points this year, but I'd have to double check.

Tofu blech
 

Is that like teabagging? Because I checked the Websters and snowballing isn't in there.

Perv
 

Well I have been trying to up the pervy quotient, but Paigow threw a wet blanket on it and said mean things about Wonk.

As to Chef's poll, which is a more unusual place to have sex: outdoors in a garden behind one of the buildings in Colonial Williamsburg (we failed to get into the maze at the Governor's mansion); or on top of a washing machine in the laundry room of a NYC building in which neither of us lived?

Purity test score is a 50. Is it any wonder I'm having a very early (very, very early) midlife crisis?

Purity Test
 

44% pure here. Seems high. Will have to look on infirmation for last year's score. RT, you been doing the nasty with your family members?


RP'ed to say I was 42% last year. I must be one of those revirginators.

Queer eye is offensive!
 

I don't mind if pressure groups get together and try to get a TV show they disagree with removed from the airwaves, but when they pick on a show that I watch, I think they have overstepped their bounds.

Tofu blech
 

You are 28% Pure!
(Very interesting.)




Here's how the REST of the world breaks down, compared to you:




people less pure than you (4%)
people like you (0%)
people more pure than you (96%)

Hmmm.....

OK, here's my contribution to the sex discussion...

If you could only do one, have sex or receive oral sex, for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

And doesn't it seem like every college chick these days has a "bi-sexual experience" but not so much when I was in school? Why is it so hip to experiment with lesbianism these days?

Chastity Test
 

You are 45% Pure!
(Very interesting.)

Here's how the REST of the world breaks down, compared to you:

people less pure than you (16%)
people like you (1%)
people more pure than you (83%)

I also think my score may have dropped. If it did, it's because I am remembering my past more clearly. If it went up, then I am still blocking out my wilder days.

And RT, you're a freak.

Up in Smoke
 

Between this, the RIAA suits and the stupid kill-the-monkeys "x is evil" report coming up on the 27th I'm getting pretty cranked. Where's my friggin buggy and pilgrm hat. Damn Puritans.

I am going to silently commemorate this somber moment tonight with a water pipe and lava lamp.

Purity Test
 

I think it's the eyeball licking experiment. (Tastes like chicken)

Tofu blech
 

William & Mary football field. Must be something in the air in Williamsburg. Probably from all the pancake houses.

DJ booth (head only).

Several places in the LS building.

Office (as a 1L).

Roof of a house. Shingle burn on the knees.

Tofu blech
 

I would rather have sex. Oral is cool, both giving and receiving, but I would prefer sex.

They seem to have a more broad view of sexuality than we did in college, but then we made up for it in our 20s.

Was it the roof of a waffle house?
 

Not just on the knees, I would imagine. Think of your partner.

Tofu blech
 

Ditto. Easy question.

Tofu blech
 

Partner?