Not one of the cool kids.
 

I am always, always amazed at the level of not getting it on this board. Some posters take some people so literally. Its called "satire". No wonder my genius is so misunderstood. SD, Abba and PJ all missed that this was pure satire and could be nothing else. The fact that SD felt the post was ambiguous says to me he is less of a renegade cat who happens to lawyer than a lawyer who wishes he was a renegade cat. I am gonna start calling you Hunter S. Easterbrook or Raouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuul Rehnquist. Lets face it man, you lawyer bc you need the bucks to support your chick slash wife, which is why so many of you cats lawyer, now isnt it?

Austin Adopts Smoking Ban
 

You're right, DC is loaded with gay men, but from a straight male perspective (which is where I'll bet Forbes is coming from) DC is a great town to meet women. Where else can you find gobs of hot young women just out of college working and living together in low stress 9-5 jobs? DC's a fucking smorgasbord of available receptive pussy. The only place my head turns more is LA and NYC, and most of the good tail in those towns is tough work to land.*

I do here your cry, however - DC is the only town where a guy turned to me at a party and said "So how tough do you think the dating pool is for gay men in DC?" I looked at my drink and felt like saying "Hey, does this look like a cosmpolitian to you? Am I smoking a Benson & Hedges light here??" I just smiled and said "I'm with her" pointing to a chick I was seeing at the time. Then I made a note not to wear pastel golf shirts in DC and started a conversation with the bartender about steaks, cigars, guns and Pamela Anderson. Yeh, it probably is a pain in the ass being a chick in DC. But didn't you know that before you went there?

* Yes, I felt like being a bit sexist this morning.

Resort for the Fat
 

http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/americ....ap/index.html

(resort in Cancun tailored to the large vacationer with private beach for the bathing-suit-shy)

Features reinforced wood furniture, 5 restaurants and double-wide room doors. Slender staff specially trained for kindness!

No such thing as bad publicity...
 

...I guess.

The Heather Smith story gets requoted this morning in the NY Lawyer on-line edition:

http://www.nylawyer.com/news/03/06/060903i.html

Curious to see if we get a page hit spike again.

not7yS

Not one of the cool kids.
 

To the contrary, Paigow, my response to PLF stated "That's great sarcasm". However, PLF's sarcasm was soooo understated that I felt I had to hadge my comment by at least allowing for the possibility his statements were made in earnest.

You're right - that hedge was pretty cheesy/lawyerly of me - I should have more balls.

Raouuuuul Rehnquist... that's rich.

S(support my wife? fuck no... I need the bucks for myself - I want to be retired at 50)D

Racy magazines not tolerated at Walmart
 

The strange thing is the fat midwestern Jesus Nuts who protest the loudest are the most in need of discovering "10 ways to instant orgasm".

My guess is 90% of WalMart shoppers in, say, Missouri, don't even know what a clitoris is, let alone that they have one.

S(Your summer sex kitten)D

Gatti Ward III
 

As promised, Gatti-Ward III was another classic fight.

Here's the coverage from the Times:

For Two Fighters, an Intense Rivalry Comes to an End
By GEOFFREY GRAY

ATLANTIC CITY, June 8 - In the hospital emergency room a little past 2 a.m. today , Arturo Gatti and Micky Ward sat in rooms next to each other like brothers, nursing wounds from their rubber match.

. . .

"There's no single word that will define these fights," said the heavyweight champion, Lennox Lewis, who sat at ringside. "Blood. Guts. Pride. Pain. Compassion. They're two tough nuts that never say quit. It's old-school fighting for a new era."

http://www.nytimes.com/2003/06/09/sp...ts/09fite.html

Banning babies and Observation of the weird
 

Apropos of nothing, the local paper (the Podunkville Picayune-Post) had an article this morning about all of the rain that DC has been getting lately. Biff Smiley, a summer congressional intern from Podunkville University, was quoted as complaining about the fact that he had to buy an umbrella and a coat after a few days in DC, despite the fact that it was supposed to be warm and sunny. "It's summer in DC," he sniffed. "I should be boffing chicks in the Hays-Adam after Federalist Society parties and Young Fascists for America soirees. Instead, all the hotties are staying at home to kepp dry and to watch Fox News. It blows -- I busted my ass all spring lining up freaky sorrority chicks for Senator Gasbag's local staff to get this gig, and it's like Bombay in fucking monsoon season here!"

I kept waitng for a quote about the dangers of umbrellas wielded on sidewalks by height-challenged out-of-town pedestrians, but I guess that the reporter didn't talk to paigow.

Worst Service Ever
 

Waiter Accused of Vandalizing Home

CORONA, Calif. - A family who angered a waiter at a Norco Sizzler restaurant later was served a few dishes they didn't order: a gallon of maple syrup, raw eggs, and rolls of toilet paper across their lawn and shrubs.

Wayne Keller, 37, wife Darlene, 40, and their two children, had their home and mailbox saturated Saturday with smashed eggs and maple syrup. Their yard was decorated with toilet paper, duct tape and plastic wrap.

Police arrested several people in an SUV parked nearby, and grabbed someone darting out of the bushes.

Officers presented the alleged culprits to the Kellers.

"I can't explain how I felt," said Darlene Keller. "I just said, 'Oh, my God. It's the waiter from the restaurant.'"

Corona police arrested the waiter, his girlfriend and his two younger brothers. Police withheld their names.

Besides being booked for investigation of misdemeanor vandalism charges, the vengeful waiter also may be investigated for child endangerment because he brought his younger brothers with him, police said.

The Kellers had a dispute with the waiter earlier when Darlene Keller requested vegetables with her meal.

Full text: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp...engeful_waiter

Austin Adopts Smoking Ban
 

A little bit ... this morning ... :eek:

Banning babies and Observation of the weird
 

Wow, I can't believe they actually quoted that guy. His statements seem a bit inappropriate and they don't reflect well on his school or on the congressional intern program.

I'm shocked, I tell you, shocked.

Banning babies and Observation of the weird
 

Yeah, well, maybe I, uh, gave voice to his unexpressed thoughts. He really did whine about the rain and having to buy warmer clothes, though.

Banning babies and Observation of the weird
 

And to think I took you literally.

Edited to add that it looks like the nylawyer bit is driving a page hit spike, as there are 99 users online right now, most of them guests (assuming those guests aren't all penske socks, but it's still a little early in seattle, if that's his real home).

No Lady Byng for Scott Stevens
 

I know! It's like an epidemic of literalism or something.(or "endemic") (or maybe "pandemic")

On to important stuff -- hockey. I don't care what Colin Campbell says, it sure looks to me like Scott ("I'm Sad Because Not Bob Hates Me") Stevens' hit on Kariya was dirty becuase (a) it was clearly after Kariya got rid of the puck and (2) Stevens led with his elbow.

That being said, Kariya's blistering goal a few minutes later was the best retaliation. Along with Sykora's goal later in the game, in which he made Mister Stevens look like an idiot. Now let's just hope that the Ducks can win tonight over the hated Devils at Brendan Byrne Arena.

Austin Adopts Smoking Ban
 

An ice house is essentially a shack that serves beer. Downscale beer garden. Usually surrounded by picnic benches and possibly, but not necessarily, some sort of carport type roof to keep the worst of the sun off the patrons. No air conditioning, maybe a fan. Sometimes there's a pool table or foozball table, or on Fridays at the West Alabama Ice House, a band. The beer is ice cold. They're all over Houston, and pretty much full throughout the summer.

The bottom line is that we, as a city, are crazy.