Affleck sought way out of wedding to J. Lo for weeks
 

http://www.msnbc.com/news/966803.asp?0dm=C12UL

J.Lo throwing a hissy fit in a restaurant over a milkshake???

I don't believe it !!!

Question
 

What about the ones that aren't red? I like the green swedish fish. But I hate gummi bears and most other gummi candy. Strange.

And that is a lot of swedish fish. Did you have a healthy meal today? Don't eat them all in one sitting. You could get sick!

:shame:

As far as the free thing, if the normal swedish fish amount is 14 oz, and they added 2 oz, of course, you got 2 oz for free, or if they lowered the price so that you are only paying for 14 oz and not 16, you got 2 for free.

That or its you know, a gimmick.

John Goodman and Ignore List Inductee Ceremony
 

Umm, in what way does Screech make Gandhi look like a child pornographer?

Anne
What the heck was Screech doing on Actor's Studio in the first place?

Tofu blech
 

Where've you been, Darryl? We were supposed to be at the dump shooting rats hours ago.

Question
 

I think they are made (or originally made) by a Swedish company. Now they may be made here - I have not had them in a while. What does your bag say?

Tofu blech
 

Don't mind her. She's just ill from drinking swill like canteloupe martinis.

Question
 

No. You paid for 14 ounces, which the normal package size, but which is so grossly inflated pricewise that they can afford to 'give' you an extra two ounces 'free'.

It's particularly disgusting for them to prey on a helpless innocent consumer's sweet tooth by doing this scum-sucking price-gouging with treats. Capitalist fat-cat extortionist leech bastards, living off the hard-won pennies of the overworked associate class...

God What a Lousy Weekend
 

ageist dyke.

God What a Lousy Weekend
 

Burger and I were collaborating in a search for the truth.

God What a Lousy Weekend
 

You wound me you bitter old man. I realize I get a lot more pussy than you do, but that is no reason to be so nasty.


Oh, speaking of pussy, Playboy has decided to go shopping for some...at Walmart.


http://money.cnn.com/2003/09/15/news...yboy/index.htm

God What a Lousy Weekend
 

I can't wait. An issue full of women who don't look better than me. If that's the way your tastes run, Leagl, I may get some pussy yet.

God What a Lousy Weekend
 

They will after their implants, makeup, bleach jobs, lip collagen shots, bikini waxes and intensive airbrushing.

All I'm sayin' is, if you need to get your back waxed or anything to compete with their other prospective suitors, do it now.

John Goodman and Ignore List Inductee Ceremony
 

It's a Saturday Night Live spoof where Screech is the guest "celebrity". Will Farrell plays James Lipton (and flawlessly, I might add...).


Here's another:

"Charles Nelson Reilley, you are a LIVING GOD!"

God What a Lousy Weekend
 

Oh I don't know, the local walmart has some cute little things running around. They are invariably blonde and bubbly. Either that or they are grey haired and not so bubbly, but I doubt playboy will want people as old as you are.

I mean we all know what those sexy red smocks do for a woman. Do you think they will make them wear them in the playboy photos?

And how long before the women who do pose get fired?

kegs revisited
 

At approximately 11:30 on Saturday night, I rediscovered a few things about kegs. A party that I was attending ended and more guests at the party had choosen to drink wine and some sort of green liquor drink in a martini glass than beer. My house was the closest to reconvine with the remains of the keg.

• Half-full kegs are still fucking heavy.
• Some people have a sort of "free beer" radar and will materialize upon the mere suggestion that there might be beer nearby.
• Tapping a keg is like riding a bike. It's been years, but we immediately knew how to do it.
• People have very strong opinions about whether or not a pitcher should be used so we don't have to keep going outside for more beer. More people in my sample quite surprisingly chose fresher beer over laziness.
• The St. Arnold Lawnmower is quite tasty.
• Houston is surprisingly pleasant outside from the hours of 11:30 PM to 4:50 am in mid-September, especially if one has a front porch, a fair number of people, and some alcohol.
• A keg party in your late-twenties / early-thirties is a hell of a lot less messy than the same party with the same people in your late-teens/early-twenties. It's a lot less noisy too, though I am glad that the neighbors on either side of my house were out of town this weekend.
• You will, however, still end up with people crashing on your couches / chairs that night/morning.
• It is possible to end two parties without having finished off the keg.
• A quarter full keg is still fucking heavy.

There's a quarter full, tapped twice, ice melted away keg in my backyard if anyone wants to come over.

Question
 

Bag says that they are made in Canada and are a registered trademark of MalacoLeaf, AB, Sweden, used under license.

So I could have answered my own fucking question...

On a related note, Halloween candy is in stored now. I love those candy corns, indian corns, mello-pumpkin thingies...Hell, I think I'd like a candy corn martini please!

Bn'(sugar high...)B

God What a Lousy Weekend
 

We REALLY need to get you out of the 'burg for a day trip now and then.

Based on the article you linked to, never. I mean, how would a Walmart manager know you had posed? Surely the employees of a family-oriented store like Walmart don't read Playboy? (Bleech).

God What a Lousy Weekend
 

Hey now, don't be insulting the harrisburg women. Most of them even have all their teeth.

God What a Lousy Weekend
 

Possibly, but frankly none of those folks stick in my memory, beyond the scary, hard-of-hearing retiree greeters. ("HI, THERE, SONNY -- WELCOME TO WALMART!") I'm hoping that this isn't what PB is going for.

If they do, let's hope for -- ah -- oversized stockclerk's smocks in which to pose.

So quickly that the magazine will run captions alongside little Brittany and Angela reading "Former Wal-Mart stock clerk, Marionsville, Indiana." Maybe they can arrange to have it printed on their thongs before the photo shoot.

Question
 

Must.....go......buy.......mellocreme pumpkins............

-T(And now I will be craving them all day. Thanks.)L

p.s. Where's the Drooling-like-Pavlov's-Dogs smiley?

God What a Lousy Weekend
 

I've been in a Walmart once, in 1993 somewhere in Georgia when we were driving and it started raining so hard we could no longer drive (felt like we were boating). So we pulled over to a Walmart and ran in. This toothless bent-over old goat with a really thick accent yelled "HEY Y'ALL WELCOME TO WALMART!!" at us and practically jumped on top of us. I had never been to the south before and never encountered a "greeter" before, so it was pretty scary.

Question
 

Suddenly, reading about wedding cake and scrolling past song lyrics sounds interesting.

K Street
 

Variety reported last week that the House (or somebody) passed a resolution (or something) banning K Street (specifically mentioned by name) from filing in the Capitol.

Too lazy to look up specific details and facts. This is the extent of my recollection and it'll have to do.

Question
 

Well, start talking about dicks, tits and ass then.

John Goodman and Ignore List Inductee Ceremony
 

I hope he was asked about his fine turn on "Star Dates"

K Street
 

there's apparently a long-standing law/policy against filming in the capitol. Members were reminded of this ban after K street did its first week of filming. K St. may have been mentioned only as a "in light of recent events it becomes necessary to remind everyone that . . . " way

Question
 

and pubes. that's always a good topic.

Porn Philanthropy
 

My latest porn spam: re: line: "HELP SAVE HOMELESS..." then text, "SLUTS!"

This is a far more appealing nonprofit marketing pitch than some lame "Save the Trees" campaign. Anyone willing to help these homeless sluts?

Question
 

I found what looked like a promising article to return the FB to more appropriate topics (sex and fashion).

Unfortunately, "China 'Open-Crotch Pants' Face Extinction" is an article about crotchless diapers for kids so they can run free.

Question
 

Atticus must be devastated.

Question
 

Atticus likes to pee on sidewalks?

God What a Lousy Weekend
 

You force me to relate my first-day-living-in-Texas Walmart story. Wench.

Anyway, I was on the obligatory shower curtain, cleaning supply, etc run that accompanies all moves and was standing in line in a Dallas-area Walmart behind a drunk, tooth-impaired woman (it was noon-ish on a weekday). She was annoying the person in front of her and got bored with that I guess, so she turned around and started talking to me. She decided that she had forgotten an important item (coffee maker, I believe), so she got right up in my fac and said: "Could you hold ma place in line? I'll be right back I promise. You can tell me to go to hell if youwampto."

I held her place in line. Didn't tell her to go to hell. Have not returned to Walmart since. Thank god for Target!

Question
 

I don't get it. Isn't the point of diapers to 'catch' all the stuff that the young 'uns are too young to leave in the toilet (or behind the tree) by themselves. Why spend money on them, why not let junior/ette run around with nothing at all on the bottom?

Anne
I bet some sicko is getting off on the photo of the toddler in chaps.

Hoping RP is having another late lunch at her desk
 

And poo. Don't forget the poo.

Mostly I do it to crank down my Purity Test score, and pooing on sidewalks gets you there without the unpleasant euphoria and well-being from drug use and eyeball licking.

Question
 

My understanding is that in China, young'uns are toilet trained early by allowing them unfettered access to bodily functions at all times. It doesn't make sense to me either, but its how they do it.

Had an early lunch today, but thanks for thinking of me.
 

Pooing on the sidewalk doesn't make you euphoric? You really are strange.

Paging Bilmore
 

I only wish she were RB.

TM

revelation
 

I just realized that I had mentally merged Carmen Electra and Denise Richards into the same person. Not in a cool sexy way either (sorry, leagl). That's why I was so confused reading that Electra was engaged to Dave Navarro, because I thought she recently married Charlie Sheen. And in related news, Denise Richards is pregnant with a carouser spawn (but not, I think, Dave Navarro's spawn). Anyway, carry on.

Hoping RP is having another late lunch at her desk
 

Well, at least you've gotten beyond PP's "no discernable FB personality" thing. That was a real crippler.

Question
 

And they die of various diseases regularly, too. It doesn't make sense to me either, but its how they do it.