Date for Success?
 

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/AS...910793-9189649

Good grief, it's like The Rules combined with corporate strategy. That reminds me, I bought a copy of The Rules at a garage sale for a quarter. It was so awful it was hilarious.

So if women run out and buy this book, does that mean we'll see lots of engagement announcements on the FB?

The Case Against Rock and Roll Church
 

I saw a relic get called on it the other day.

Some asshole sitting at a table next to mine at lunch was looking for his waitress and yelled across the patio, "Hon? Could you come over here?" For the rest of the meal the four other people at his table berated him for the use of the word "hon." He tried to "aw shucks" away, and then he tried a very half assed apology to the waitress ("My wife says I offended you when I called you 'hon' before, and I should offer an apology.") But the rest of the table wouldn't let up on him, and despite his protests that his father and grandfather have been calling waitresses "hun" for years and it's something that you say down south, I think that it sunk in that it's not an acceptible term to someone you don't know.

WTF?
 

Are you quoting back the minister Fugee knows pretty well when she asked her question?

TM

Date for Success?
 

And six months later, after having woken up from completely morphing themselves to snag some fuckhead, lots of divorce announcements.

Atilla the Hun
 

Does this mean that waitresses will stop calling me "hun" and "sweetie"? Sic transit gloria mundi, I suppose.

(thanks to the Bar Bitches link someone posted a while back, I now know that they are only doing it to increase their tips. Accordingly, I have reluctantly scrapped all plans to fly off to the Riveria with the goth girl barista who hands me a tall cup of "free-trade" every morning.)

The Case Against Rock and Roll Church
 

What if the person is Magyar?

The Case Against Rock and Roll Church
 

No wonder you have so much trouble getting laid.

The Case Against Rock and Roll Church
 

No fucking shit.

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

Ok, I know this has been covered in the past, but I'm too lazy to go back to the old board, and I can't read another post about how boring every other post is.

Anyway, my waterdancer is not, how shall I say, "performing" very well. I bought the attachments, and they are about as comfortable as sticking a nerf bat into my slot B (not that I've ever tried that, you pervs).

This is the only vibrator I've ever owned so I don't know if the problems is me or the tool, but I'm in the market for something new. I remember from the old board that there were mixed reactions to the Rabbit (some people loved it but some people thought there was "too much" going on). I've had at least two people highly recommend the Magic Wand, but since that sucker is over $80, I want some more consumer feedback. Also, is the attachment comfortable and actually insertable into a normal-sized slot B?

I'm thinking of breaking up with the current bf soon and I want to have something lined up to replace him before I break his widdle heart and banish his various slots and tabs from my body forever.

RT, PP, FB -- I know you three in particular are connoisseurs of the finer toys in life (and I mean that in a good way) so I will place a lot of stock in your collective advice.

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

Widdle heart? Sounds like the Tiny, Tiny Ex-Boyfriend is about to become a party sock.

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

Now this would be a perfect time for anttwat to jump in, but he's too busy whining about how nobody finds him funny.

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

My feeling on the rabbit, of which I am very fond, is that you don't need to use all the things that could be going on at the same time at the same time. Mine has two functions that require batteries and I really generally only use one (the cute bunny) because the other one doesn't do a lot for me. I haven't seemed to find anything that has just the cute bunny part but no rotating upper area.

That is all I can think of to contribute.

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

DAMMMIT. Go to lunch, miss a perfectly good time to make a slot joke, get reprimanded. Shit.

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

I like the waterdancer, but I don't stick it into any slots, so I have no advice on that subject. I have two distinctive types of toys - ones that vibrate and ones that don't. I tend to like non-vibrating ones for insertion, and my vibrating ones are used up in front (which may be part of why I'm not thrilled by cunnilingus, but I digress). My first toy ever was phallic and vibrated, so I tried insertion and it was not that enjoyable, hence my new two tiered approach. If anyone has vibrating toy suggestions, I would be happy to hear them also. Waterdancer is the current fave, but I'm always in the market...

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

Heck, it's over for you now. That was your one and only opportunity to join the cool kids. You're fucked.

Still trying
 

How about this? Mildly amusing.
OK, so I'm stealing again - but I enjoyed this.
It's arnold and gary coleman (little arnold) singing a spice girls version of I wanna be governor.

still trying

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

So, forever banished to the land of debate camp/band camp/little house on the prairie watching losers?
*sigh*

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

While I have not done extensive comparison shopping, it seems like many vibrating things vibrate at the top of the inserted part. So, basically, it's vibrating largely up by your cervix. As we all know, someone can stick a scissors up there and hack off a little piece of the cervix and it only produces "a pinching feeling" so I'm kind of at a loss why you would want the vibrating stuff up there in "few nerve endings" land. Fully inserted, the rabbit's vibrating part is right where it would have the most effect. Some people may be too sensitive for this, I suppose.

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

You shouldn't call Atticus a loser.

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

So do you have to use two hands, one with the insertable toy and one with the vibrating toy? I don't think I could use two hands, especially if they were doing two different things -- I'm not that coordinated. Or do you just have two different methods, and alternate?

I think I need an instruction video. I'm a masturbation retard.

Somebody hire this guy
 

Just thinking mean thoughts - wouldn't you love to work with this guy and "accidently" drop a critical piece of evidence in the garbage? Or say you did, and let him waddle through the muck until the evidence mysteriously appears in his office a few days later?

Just me being mean.

Somebody hire this guy
 

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

You seem to have forgotten (already, since it came up yesterday, I think, with dtb) that Atticus has quite a following among the FB ladies...or is that your jealousy talking?

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

If not a board motto, this might make a nice rank.

P (sorry, can't help, have too many tabs and not enough slots) D

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

Typically one or the other. Or one and then the other. Or one, with no need for the other because an actual penis is also involved. But now we are departing the land of masterbation advice...

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

I don't recall specifically naming anyone.
Besides, at least I didn't call him short. That gets his ire up.

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

First of all, I'm sorry to hear about your waterdancer. It's sad when reliable appliances no longer function as well as they used to.

Second, do you have a preference as to shape, length, girth or texture? I have a silicone vibe that's supposed to find my g-spot that does nothing for me, though some women swear by them. The rabbit (also silicone) is my friend, but only comes out on special occassions, though I konw at least two people who use nothing else. (One friend managed to wear hers out in a year.) I find it somewhat confusing to manipulate three sets of controls on it (speed of shaft, speed of tickler, and type of vibration). My favorite two vibes are aren't too complicated to operate. Rehostat on base to control speed, and pretty simple to operate and use. They were in the 18 to 30 dollar range at Good Vibes. One is plastic and the other is chrome, and it just depends on what sort of mood I'm in, though one of them may be a little too big, and I have to really be in the mood to use that one. I haven't bought a magic wand, though I've had my eye on it for awhile. The benefit there is that you get more power out of the wall socket, though you're sort of limited to the area close to the outlet. Plus the attatchements.

Finally, do you have somewhere where you can go and try out different vibes? See what's out there? There are a few sex shops around here that have demos so you can feel what the different pulses are like and see for real what the dimnesions are.

Somebody hire this guy
 

Unfortunately the truth of the matter is that this asshole was lying about being willing to wade through garbage. You know it, I know it and every single partner who reads that novel-passing-for-a-cover-letter knows it. What with his background at the most prestigious schools in the country (Tulane?). He is exactly the type that would be berating his secretary for shit within the first week of practice.

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

AGGGHHH. All of this performance anxiety has caused my brain to freeze. This one is so easy.

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

I have an electric one that I NEVER use (unless I am out of batteries and in need of some emergency masterbation) (no, that's never happened yet). The cord is too short and, to be frank, the vibes from it are maybe too strong? I was not sure that was possible, but I guess the setting levels are off kilter for my needs (either too slow or too fast). To each her own.

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

So I guess that there's no need to play 'One Shining Moment' or whatever that song is that NBC uses as a theme song at the Olympics in anticipation of the next post, right?

C'mon, you can do it. One good one and you can call it a good day.

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

There are a couple of stores I can go to in D.C. but obviously I can't really try out the merchandise (and that's a good thing, I guess, cause who wants to buy something someone else has already "tried on"?). I have no idea whether I prefer silicon or chrome since I've never really experimented with either. Maybe I should invest in a variety of mid-priced items and just see what works best. I can probably sell the ones that don't work out on E-bay......

On a slightly related note, I went to the Good Vibes store in San Francisco once and looked around for a while. I ended up leaving empty-handed. When my escort asked me why I wasn't buying anything I said "I'll just order it online b/c I don't know what to say to Security at the Airport when they find it in my carry-on." One of the clerks overheard me and said "tell them you like to get off."

I love that store.

The Tulane guy
 

I've been out of the office today, and somebody passed this around. I rushed back, intending to post this as soon as I got the chance, and I was so disappointed that it had already been posted. My favorite was the commentary from all the people who had forwarded it; a bunch of recruiting coordinators and hiring partners.

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

Based on my research at the local sex toy shop, I purchased a Wahl over a Magic Wand. First, the Magic Wand weighs a lot; I think my wrist would collapse from repeated use. Second, the Wahl cost about half the price at about $30. Third, it comes with a variety of attachments for FREE!! While you are somewhat limited by needing to be close to an outlet (never cramped my style), there is no danger of running out of juice (haha) at a critical moment.

Like ncs, I am a fan of vibration with non-vibrating toys. Unlike ncs, they are often used simultaneously with excellent results.

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

Perhaps I can fill in.

Ready for the Oral Tests?

The Leisure Learning Unlimited catalog lists courses on making pottery, tasting wine and cooking exotic dishes. And there's the usual Mars and Venus self-help classes teaching how-to-find-a-mate-you-like-who-actually-likes-you-back.

This fall, a new kind of self-help class appeared on the schedule. Former hard-core porn movie director and writer Vaughn Dampier was scheduled to teach "Sex Toys: Exploring the Adult Playground."

Yes!

For people who feel a little afraid and a lot confused when they walk into a XXX store, Dampier planned to talk about the history of sex toys, what's legal, how to clean them (and that it is a good idea to clean them) and -- most important -- how to use them.

He was even going to give demonstrations.

For people who can't afford the Spice channel or a Susie Bright seminar, the $25 class (batteries not included) sounded like a fine way to spend a Friday night.

But then Dampier canceled. The man who provided the tuition refunds says the teacher got a stand-up comedy gig in California. That left 14 frustrated people, who had perhaps hoped to spend the long Labor Day weekend in bed doing homework. -- Wendy Grossman

http://www.houstonpress.com/issues/2...l/1/index.html

GWINKY tells me I need to stop linking to shit, and she's probably right, but I thought I'd share this article. It's about a guy who successfully cashed a putatively void check for $95,000, and about what happened to him after that. Interesting . . . .

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

I bought a Rabbit for my sister for her birthday and that was the hardest brithday shopping I've ever done. I finally just guessed that she'd like it, and hoped for the best. There's no way of really knowing for sure until you've tried a vibrator whether or not you'll like it. That's sort of how I ended up with as many as I have. Bought a few different textures because I wasn't sure. Got difference sizes because I wasn't sure. The $15 to $30 vibes don't break the bank, so it's not a big deal to buy one and have it sitting at the bottom of the drawer forever.

I checked on with a vibe a few months ago, and it was on when it came out of the baggage claim. The person who picked me up was damned confused when they grabbed my bag to put it in the car. ;) Always take the batteries out.

I love Good Vibes too, though Cindie's here isn't bad.

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

Isn't there a girl in your group that hosts a bi-annual sex toy party* or something? An ex-GF use to go to them all of the time.


*No, not THAT kind of party. More like Tupperware.

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

This is where taxwonk would say something creepy. :P

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

Please always cover said vibes with a sweater or something to avoid this embarrassing scenario, which actually happened to me in between my 2nd and 3rd years in law school.

"Hi Mom....whatcho doing?" says Bn'B, entering her own bedroom while her mother is visiting from out of town.

In a moment of terror and horror, Bn'B realises Mom is about to open that drawer .

Bn'B's Mom turns and says "I was looking for your sewing kit...a button fell off of my sweater". And then...she opens the drawer .

Mom turned to me and said, "Well, I guess there's no sewing kit in here", primly closed the drawer and walked into the living room.

At that moment, I was wishing for something iatrogenic. {Twice. In one day.}