AI
 

Atticus,

At the Jersey Shore, "Goodnight Saigon" is a required group sing along, followed up by a howling chorus of "Thunder Road."

I was at a wedding two years ago where the groom was hoisted in the air and thrown around to a room full of Miller Genuine Draft drunk gelheads screaming "Thunder Road." Viweing this specatacle helped to liberate a knot of rubber chicken, rancid rice pilaf and Maker's Mark from my stomach, so maybe there's a benefit to these sing-alongs we snobs don't get...

Most annoying gimic song of the 80s - "We Didn't Start the Fire" or "Its the End of the World as We Know It"?

Who is Anne Elk?
 

I'm Anne Elk and no one else.

AI
 

I had a roomate in college who was a Rush fanatic. He also played tight end for the football team. We took mushrooms together once and he made me listen to a whole slew of Rush cds while he kept the television on a NASCAR race. I haven't been the same since.

Its amazing 3 musicians as obviously talented as Rush can make music that fucking atrocious.

AI Review
 

First of all, I hope you're not online at 11pm to be the first to post your AI critique, that would be just sad.

Second of all, Kim L. was only good with "It's Raining Men." The song suited her and she did well. You were just so blinded that you failed to recognize it. I have no idea how she did in any of her subsequent songs.

Third of all ("of all" doesn't sound right after "Second of all"), can you or someone else list the contestants and the songs they sang? I'm curious to see who sang what.

TM

AI
 

Clearly, "We Didn't Start the Fire" because it was a boomer song, and therefore, automatically annoying.

(Sorry, Wonk and Bilmore.)

On bad regional songs . . .

One of my uncles married a hoosier. At family gatherings, we sing "House of the Rising Sun" and "Margaritaville." She sings "Jack & Diane." Ick.

AI
 

Puffy's a monster, but nowhere near the league of Springsteen/Joel, who, of course, are nowhere near the right hand of Satan - which is reserved for Celine Dion and Barbara Streisand.

Sean Hannity is court jester in that ring of hell.

AI review and a Randy Jackson Rant (Sorry)
 

I finally was able to see a whole show. It's great when the little fishes go to bed early.

Kim C: Bleh. She's merely okay. Would probably win the talent contest at the trailer park? Six flags, Seven Flags, commercial jingles? Absolutely, but American Idol? No. no. no. Bottom three.

Ruben: Still the class of the competition. Not his best performance and as Simon and others have said, needs to show something different. He knows he's the best here, and might be coasting a bit.

Kim L.: I thought she did a nice job with this song. I actually felt she was better than Trenyce that night. A few problems, but overall a very good job and a good song for her.

Carmen: Fucking terrible. How she has hung on so long is beyond me, plus its almost unimaginable that out of the thousands of contestants that tried out that she would have even gotten on the show, let alone hung on. I almost fell off my chair when Simon told her she sounded like a child singing at a party and if she were his child he would tell her to shut up. Bottom three, and please, if there is a God, she will be packing her bags tonight.

Josh: Eh, okay. I don't think he was terrible and he was much better at the end of the song, but like many country singers, he is just not a great singer. Period. But that's - - okay. He could probably make a very good living in Nashville. Based on last night's performance, bottom three, but since Carmen is gone, he'll live to sing another week.

Trenyce: She has a terrific voice, but she appeared nervous and it took something away from her performance. Gotta agree with Randy, she was a bit pitchy. I'm not sure if she was uncomfortable with the song, but I have to admit, I felt the bluesy-ness more from Kim L. than I did from T. That said, she should be there in the top three at the end.

Clay: He does have a really good voice. Stretched himself a bit. I thought it was funny when he said he was going to get away from the ballads and the first half of his rendition was so slow as to fall out of ballad territory and become a dirge. He should have done the whole song as an uptempo number. It would have been better.

Simon's right, though. He's much better if you close your eyes. Watching him last night, I now know what the spawn of a drunken three-way between Tom Jones, Liberace and Pinocchio might look like. His mannerisms and facial expressions are disturbing and the Miss America silent mouthed "Thank you's" at the end are a bit much. Probably one of the three best talents on the show, though.

By the way, does anybody else think Randy Jackson is a big pussy? This guy can't criticize anybody! It's like he's afraid people won't like him if he ever tells the truth about somebody's performance. Either that, or he's just incapable of articulating why somebody sucks. I'm sorry, but I'm going to be harder on him than Paula, because he's a producer, and should know how to tell somebody specifically either how they could improve or why they shoudn't quit their day job at the Dairy Queen. A sample of how it usually goes when somebody has a really bad night (or when Carmen opens her mouth).

Randy:

Um, (place name here). I don't know, dawg, you were kind of pitchy and missed a note. I'm just not feelin' it, dawg. Not your best performance, dawg.

Guest Judge (In fairness, usually someone who is just happy to be there and be seen, like the great Smokey Robinson last night):

First of all, let me just say, I am so happy to be here and look! I'm not dead! About your performance, you were nervous. It is hard when you are out there in front of all these people. You tried. I give you a lot of credit. You hung in there.

Paula:

You had a chance to make that song your own. You didn't make it your own. If you did make it your own, you would have owned it, but we still love you, even though I know Simon will now be mean to you.

Simon: Dreadful. Just dreadful, awful, dreadful. (Simon then proceeds to list a litany of well thought out reasons why the performance sucked above the hisses and boos from the crowd.)
Randy pipes in, yeah, yeah, what he said, absolutely, yeah.

Ryan: Makes some stupid comment.

Randy then says, "I agree with Simon".

Well, pussy-boy, if you agree with Simon, why hem and haw about it? Fucking say it yourself! Be a man! I'm calling you out, Randy Jackson! You and me! After School! On the Playground!

spooky(damn, RJ annoys me)fish

edited because I misplaced a be.

The mouthed "thank you"
 

has got to be one of the top two most cringeworthy things that Clay does. I also hate how he bats his eyes like a false eyelash fell in and bows his head after he finds out he is safe. Like he got a stay from execution. A real execution, not the kind on the Mole. He is such a drama queen.

Ugly People -- New Protected Class?
 

L’Oreal to Ask S.C. to Review Ruling on Firing of Unattractive Worker

A lawyer for a major company in the international cosmetics market said Friday the company will ask the California Supreme Court to review a ruling that cleared the way for a discrimination lawsuit by a sales manager who claims she lost her job for refusing to fire a perfume saleswoman her boss considered unattractive.

http://www.metnews.com/articles/yano041403.htm

For any baseball fans...
 

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/recap?gameId=230415104
(link to fan incident at Comiskey/U.S. Sellout Park)

The really disturbing (and FB relevant) question is: how does white-t like that get such great seats?

AI
 

I have a friend who has a theory that, at any time of the day in any town in Indiana, one can turn on the radio and GUARANTEE that a Cougar song is playing. I fucking hate "Jack & Diane" - stop the fucking clapping for god's sake...

Songs that Suck
 

Another all time hated song:

Night Moves.

Nothing will make me change a station faster than Night Moves.

Thurgood Marshall Stamp
 

I heard a story on NPR last night that Thurgood Marshall was honored by the USPS with a stamp. About time.

http://www.defenselink.mil/news/Feb2003/200302192a.jpg

Sorry about the size.

spookyfish

AI
 

Stop being such a friggin snob. I happen to know that fifteen years ago you were trouncing around a frat house swilling cheap beer out of 16 ounce returnable bottles and singing along to stupid songs by Meatloaf and Neil Diamond.

not7y(good ole days)S

Songs that Suck
 

Oh my God. I completely agree. Ponderous and too long. And how many times do you hear.

Night moves, Night moves.

I remember, I remember, I remember.

It pains me just thinking about it.

My nomination for all time hated song.

Paradise by the Dashboard Light - Meatloaf.

Ugh.

spookyfish

The more that things change, the more they stay the same
 

Figures that you - of all people - would say something like this.:eyeroll:

not7y(ho hum)S

AI
 

If I may speak for my good friend Sebastian, I believe his point was that he did that fifteen years ago, not now. These Jersey peole are in a timewarp if indeed this can be blamed on being behind the times. Kind of like how people in suburban Virginia are still sporting goatees that are so 1996.

I dont think any list of worst singers and songs would be complete without :

Michael Bolton
If we do nineties, can I throw in that "breathe in breathe out" song by Bush and "Im Just a Girl" by No Doubt which is my alltime run to the radio and turn the channel song, followed cloesly by Do you Believe in Lilfe after Love by Cher?

Though Tell Her About it has been going through my head all morning and is quickly climbing the ranks.

Timewarps
 

Due to the rage I am feeling bc of Tell Her About It taking over my brain, I think I will go up to the next goateed suburbanite and say that 1999 called and told me to tell you that 1996 called and wants its goatee back.

Talented Musicians
 

Speaking of talented musicians, I was listening to the radio on the way into work when "Beast of Burden" came on. I turned it up and couldn't help but thinking how underappreciated Charlie Watts really is.

spookyfish

The more that things change, the more they stay the same
 

Yes, tragic that I would expect lead singers to be able to sing without animals running away and mirrors shattering.:rolleyes:

p(wait, you didn't listen to all those talentless shrieking hair-metal bands in the 80s, did you?)j

AI
 

Paigow, when you are right you are very right. The Cher song is at the top of my list. It replaced "We Built This City" by Jefferson whatever they changed their name to in the late 80s, primarily bc the latter song is not played on the radio (at least not any stations I listen to) anymore.

And as for your goatee crusade, if you get set up as a 401c3, I will contribute money to the cause, especially if you put my friend's jerk-off husband on the list (he is ugly and obnoxious and has always refused to clean the cat box, even during his wife's pregnancy, because they are "her" cats). I, along with the rest of her family and friends, really hate that guy.

They live in Vegas so you could combine it with a pleasure trip.

The more that things change, the more they stay the same
 

Oh come on. My ex (box of wine guy, for those who care) was a roadie for Rush for a while (and Alannah Myles, but that's another sad story), and I saw/heard quite a lot of them for a while. I'm not a fan, but there is no denying they are the real thing.

AI
 

Thats funny- my ex and I used to play the "whats the worst song ever game" and nobody was able to top We Built This City which is a song that has no redeeming qualities. I think that some strata of the population can dance to the Cher song, but We built this city is just the worst song ever. Do you know us?

The more that things change, the more they stay the same
 

I think their lyrics are intelligent (if bombastic) and they can play, but I stand by my assertion that a thousand nails going down a blackboard simultaneously is a better sound than the lead's voice.

Do I get pro-Canada points for liking "Life Is a Highway"?

AI
 

I'm supposed to worry about how my taste is assessed by someone who watches American Idol? Or any reality tv show for that matter?

Besides, I was busy listening to the Violent Femmes, Talking Heads, and I was knee deep in the blues. Musically, the last thing I have to apologize about was the Partridge Family and I was 8 at the time.

What's y'all's excuse? :cool:

The more that things change, the more they stay the same
 

No. He is up there with Bryan Adams on the embarrasment scale.

Timewarps
 

2001 called and told me to tell you it wanted its "[insert year here] called to tell you it wants its [insert year's fad here] back" joke back.

AI
 

Correct artist, wrong song... Actually Small Town is the preferred hoosier anthem.

n(from a long line of hoosiers)cs

Timewarps
 

The suburbs called. They say all is forgiven, Muffy. Come on home and we'll mix up a pitcher of bloodys and watch Mummy and Daddy ossify.

Timewarps
 

I love you to death but that was the whole point of my saying 1999 called, bc that joke is from Friends, 1999 I believe. By 2001, it was just the goateed people and Prima Facie saying it. And apparently you.

The more that things change, the more they stay the same
 

I don't know, Lunatic Fringe is pretty good song. It reminds of Vision Quest. And of course Vision Quest reminds me of that scene where we see the silhouette of Linda Fiorentino raising her hips so that Matt Modine can remove her underwear more easily. Nothing's sexier to a fifteen year old boy than the "hip raise".

AI
 

How about "Afternoon Delight" by the Starland Vocal Band? And I have many, many more.

Now That's the Groom Little Girls Dream Of
 

from MSN:
Speaking of Weddings...
For those of you who are sick and tired of hearing about lovey-dovey celebs walking down the aisle in pure bliss, this should cheer you up. Freddie Prinze Jr. claims the magic of matrimony was nowhere to be found prior to his nuptials.

The star told NW magazine that he was so ill before his wedding to Sarah Michelle Gellar, he was surprised he made it down the aisle at all. "I don't remember the details, because I was drunk most of the time," he admits. "The night before I ate something and I got so sick I started hallucinating. I was literally shaking on the floor. My best man comes in and I'm butt naked on the floor in a cold sweat looking for my mom. He was like, 'You're getting married in five minutes, your mom and everyone is sitting down waiting for you.' He was dressing me and I had like drool on my cheek. His hand was on the small of my back, holding me up straight so I didn't fall over. But I survived."

No.
 

No. No no no no no no no.

This is hurting my brain. I cannot take this image. I am freaking out here. Think good thoughts, think good thoughts, think good thoughts. Rush and mushrooms. Rushrooms and NASCAR. NO! NONONONONONONONONONO. Think about clouds. Pretty things. Nice music. Like Tom Sawyer. NASCAR cars melting into a Rushy rainbow of Geddy Lee faces. No, god no, help me . . .

The more that things change, the more they stay the same
 

Life is a Highway. 1992. I know this because I took a road trip across country that year and that song was either playing on the radio or stuck in my head for the vast majority of the 2 week trip.

Ah, memories. Now it will be stuck in my head for the rest of the day. At least it got Tell Her About It out.

Moving on to Canadian singers who don't totally suck (possibly a short list), I fondly recall my Bruce Cockburn phase. If I had a rocket launcher... At least I think he is Canadian. If not, my list is even shorter...

n(can't drive thru Tennessee without getting Walking In Memphis stuck in my head - luckily not much of a problem, as I don't typically drive thru TN now)cs

AI
 

I'm a Long Island girl and I have enough Billy Joel shame to fill the virtual room. But how can Billy Joel be a face card in a world that permitted REO Speedwagon to happen? A true assault on the senses. I feel nauseated just thinking about it. I'd rather listen to Journey for a week than hear "Snake in the Grass" once.

Now if Sebby wants to argue that Billy Joel is a demon because his ouevre is so much larger and his sing-along potential is that much greater, I understand.

r(unabashedly nostalgic about U2)p

Hit the Lights...
 

At the time, I was into speed metal a la [early] Metallica, Exciter, [early] Anthrax and Exodus, until listening to Slayer's "Hell Awaits" while drinking cheap Gallo port caused me to branch out into death/black Metal like Celtic Frost, Venom and Possessed - until I looked around me at concerts I realized that these buffoons actually believed that carving up a Perdue chicken on the LIRR tracks might cause 'old Scratch to actually appear - so I bought a skateboard, painted a NYHC on the back of my cutoff denim vest and became a skate punk listening to Agnostic Front, Leeway, Cro-Mags, Black Flag, All, etc. - some point around 1987, still not sure how, trading in said vest and my "Crippled Children Suck" LP for a TieDye, a scratched copy of "Blues for Allah" and a hash brownie, but I digress.

But to go back to hair metal, I recently burned a CD for a friend comprised of Tesla, Poison, Zebra, Warrant, White Lion, Sister, the Crue, Great White, Skid Row and - last but not least - Kix. And trust me, all who hear it want a copy.

not7y(Don't close your e-e-e-e-ey-ye-yes)S

Timewarps
 

You admit to watching "Friends"?

And I've never seen an episode of "Melrose Place"...

What happened?
 

She is getting worse looking by the photo. I dont get it. http://www.nationalenquirer.com/stor...stanceid=57672

What happened?
 

And when did she lose her arm?