Thanks for that. Now if you really loved me, you'd post Jason Taylor.

Question about sex
 

It's makes sense when you consider he's probably had about 1000 more sex partners than you, punk.

How could you ever doubt I love you?

http://sportsmed.starwave.com/media/...a_taylor_i.jpg


http://www.cnnsi.com/siforwomen/2001...ylor_lg-01.jpg


But wait, there's more!

http://www.jason-taylor.com/images/p...lery/off08.jpg


http://www.jason-taylor.com/images/p...lery/off05.jpg


http://www.jason-taylor.com/images/p...lery/off04.jpg

Not to say that all things Tribal are the best, but I really do think that the "Jewish Way" in dealing with death and mourning is very healthy and considerate. The basics are:

1. Don't send a note; don't send flowers -- go to the mourner's home. And bring food (real food, not dessert -- the theory being mourners don't have the energy to prepare food themselves).

2. Do not talk about the deceased unless the mourner does. Let the mourner be the one to initiate discussions about the deceased. Your presence is enough -- that is what brings whatever comfort there is to be had.

3. When you do talk about the deceased, talk about the things you remember about him/her and what a great person s/he was -- not details about the death. And certainly not "it was for the best" or inconsiderate comments of that nature.


There are many, many customs that could be (and, in fact, are) the subject of lengthy books -- but these basics always seemed to me to make sense, and from leagle's experience, sounds like they make good sense.

Question about sex
 

Naw, Leonard C had his own presence that grabbed a lot of people that way. Not a looks thing at all - but something.

Sigh.

Yeah, I'll get work done before heading out to ACL.

Even(three days of dirt, sun, and really great music)Odds

Question about sex
 

I am sure you are correct. Now can you and Ty go discuss some Josh Marshall or something on the PB? I'm tired of seeing my moniker in the Last Post column.

Seconded. I wouldn't call at all at first--you're just bone-deep exhausted but you feel compelled by people's kindness not to brush them off even if you need to for yourself.

But don't worry about how he will judge your response or lack of it. He knows you're there.

Question about sex
 

Perhaps a deal could be worked out for someone posting about trips on the vacations board. WTF? Do none of you take vacations?!

I agree with all the Leagl has said with 2 exceptions:
1) EXCEPT if he is very close or very long-time friend
and if either of those is the case then
2) EXCEPT if the family is nearby.

If he is a very close or very long-time friend, and he is likely to be mourning nearby, I believe it is entirely apprporiate to call, offer to stop by, or in the alternative, show up bearing food and company.

In those first mind-numbing days for me, I didn't much want to talk on the phone, didn't really want to cope with anything at all, but I appreciated not being left alone and I appreciated people who just materialized to take care of me. I was especially glad to have people nearby to talk with who knew my lost loved one, and who were willing to talk about her with me. I felt less alone knowing that others felt the void her death had made, and while I cried a lot in those days, mostly I cried remembering her with other people... I may not have noticed if my dear friends hadn't made the pilgrimage to help me through it, but I certainly noticed that they HAD.

If you are not that kind of friend, send a note...and be there in wahtever capacity when the phone does ring.

Bn'B

See, that's why I said call, but don't bring it up. My experience is that someone in his situation can sometimes withdraw a little too much. Short, casual conversation about anything other than what's happened can at least draw him out a bit, and keep him grounded and connected, plus you can guage whether or not you need to worry about him, without touching on a bad topic.

You are welcome.

Since I'm taking requests, any one else?

Oh, of course

http://www.probertencyclopaedia.com/j/Halle%20Berry.jpg


http://www.milliyet.com.tr/content/g...e/resim/01.jpg

For TM

http://www.poster.net/spears-britney...ch-4003708.jpg

http://www.ifrance.com/7britney/brit...rs-nue-top.JPG

For Chef

Death Question
 

I like PJ's idea of a card but I think you could call him just to see how he is generally and then it might come out. When one of my parents died a few years ago, I dreaded having to call even my closest friends to tell them (even though my parent's illness was well-known to my friends). Thankfully, my sister-in-law made a bunch of the calls for me.

I went to a memorial celebration last Saturday for a dear friend, and everyone at the celebration was invited to say a few words about the deceased. It was absolutely beautiful, and everyone who spoke gave the impression that they were better people for having known the deceased and that our community was a better place because he had been a member. It was a positive, uplifting experience, and I think that the family was very appreciative of the kind words everyone had to give.

Thanks for all the advice, y'all.

Hey, Even, does The Odd Man know about your Jason Taylor obsession?

Question about sex
 

If someone said to me what Leonard C puts in his songs, I'd probably jump him immediately.

Question about sex
 

My bad.

Yeah, yeah. The tone of your original post suggests otherwise. But whatever, if you were getting worked up over the number of times he uses the term, then I am sorry. Not that sorry, but I'm childish like that.

TM

Question about sex
 

And your phone number is. . . .?

You are definitely right about letting the mourner guide the content of the conversation and using it to get a sense of how the person is. But it's really the 10,000 pound elephant in the room problem--if he doesn't know if you've heard yet, the call might stress him out.

Agree with b'n'b that having people come by/take care of things is just a grace. It can feel awfully weird at first just going to the market to pick up lunch like it was an ordinary day.

I heard a rumor that the Odd Man is Jason Taylor. Kind of rude of E/O to flaunt him like that in front of all of us.

Death Question
 

Don't call him, call his best friend, secretary, or other person who is likely to really know what his wishes are. I have usually found that grieving folks are best off relying on their close friends to do things like make sure people who they need to or want to know do indeed know, and that different people have different ways of wanting the death and life to be acknowledged or not acknowledged. Once you find you who is in the know, find out how they want the person to be acknowledged and respect their wishes. This information may also be in his hometown paper, which may be on line. Flowers, contributions, etc. are often quite appreciated; for others, there really is nothing like a funeral service attended by hundreds or thousands. Indeed, I know some people who took note of who made the wake or funeral or sat shiva and who didn't, and will remember it for years to come, just because it was a very important moment for them.

Just 2 questions:

1) Why all the kayaks? I thought canoes were the boat du jour during floods?

2) Do those people know that they're sloshing around in sewage?

And that's the point really, isn't it? It isn't an ordinary day... and in fact nothing will seem ordinary for a long time.

It seemed like a tribute that people cared enough about her to share their thoughts with me. Someone who had known her for only 4 years (which was how long she battled cancer) said to me "She was such a special person...four years just wasn't enough"...and all I could do was agree...no amount of years would have been enough. But to know that I wasn't alone in missing her helped...

Question about sex
 

Hmmmm . . .

I remember you well in the Chelsea Hotel
you were famous, your heart was a legend.
You told me again you preferred handsome men
but for me you would make an exception.
And clenching your fist for the ones like us
who are oppressed by the figures of beauty,
you fixed yourself, you said, "Well never mind,
we are ugly but we have the music."

http://www.serve.com/cpage/LCohen/lyrics/NewSkin.html

Question about sex
 

Well in that case, I'll admit that I agree with your sentiment about women sometimes (often?) enjoying the "god, you make me want to fuck you really hard" mentality.

That's as far as I can go with this, because anything more and I'll ruin fringey's Friday with niceness.

Thirded conditionally. I started to post reasons why I would call and ask bluntly, i.e., did something happened, and is there anything I can do to help you through this... but its been a few days, and anything that had to be done on a practical level should have been done already.

On another note, just some general advice that might help somebody through an extended period of horror in these situations. I your dad is a business-type and he handles all of the business at home (incl... check writing and all financial transactions), well, that's not always a great idea.

Specifically, if mom has to figure out from where it comes, and where it goes, all at once after dad goes to the great vacation in the sky, well mom might find that a bit much to learn.

And a bit stressful if she is under the impression that more comes in than actually does. Think stroke-inducing stressful.

From one who has been there.

Hello

1. More people seem to have kayaks these days, but here's a canoe.



http://a799.g.akamai.net/3/799/388/3...ws/2018834.jpg


2. It isn't sewage, unless the river or other body of water is sewage.

Actual Fashion Question
 

I know menswear is strong for women this year, but does that include the Alfalfa look?

Tallish skinny woman, short hair, shrunken pinstripe suit and oxford shirt, thick black oxfords with white socks. I was waiting for her to start belting out "The Barber of Seville."

And does this mean the boys are going to be dressing up like Darla? B/c I can't quite see our G.C. in butt-length crinolines.

hottie dolphin?
 

Wait a second. That guy is black. No WAY EO digs him.

TM

Well since Brittney does nothing for me, how about Shemar Moore? Shirtless, of course.

hottie dolphin?
 

Don't hate.

Oh, and NCS, the OddMan wishes he were Jason Taylor -- younger, hotter, taller, richer, and married to Zach Thomas's impossibly hot sister.

Edited to add for Austin: Yes, the OM knows of my obse ... er interest. He's tired of me shushing him during the neutrogena for men ad.

Yes'M

http://brugere.aub.dk/~tweedy/shemar3.jpg

http://www.celebpecs.com/images/Shem.../smoore008.jpg

In cities that haven't completed the separation of the sewage system from the drainage system (think "most cities"), or even in cities that have done so, but have one or two faulty check valves in the sewage system, it IS sewage.

And I can tell you exactly how much chlorine you need to buy to disinfect a one-block-square flooded building after 1200 yards of 1-foot sewer pipe floods back into the basement, too.

This kind of knowledge is priceless for filling those awkward pauses in party conversation.

Heh, point well taken.

I think that many places with the separated systems still process the drainage under normal circumstances to the extent possible. My understanding is the EPA authorizes discharge of unprocessed drainage if the alternative is, e.g., overflowing drainage sewers in a heavy rainstorm.

Best guess? There is a lot of, e.g., motor oil and dog crap floating down the Potomac today.

Even more than is normally the case.

Hello

But if the sewer runs under the street, and the street is flooded....?

Edited to add, OK, so I'm slow. YOu people got to it before me.

hottie dolphin?
 

Talk about a trump card. Zach can't say shite to Jason. Ever. One negative word out of Zach's mouth and it's "did I mention I'm fucking your sister?"

It's like owning a piece of Zach's personal kryptonite and knowing you'll never have to use it.

Bless your heart.

And woman, for someone who claims to have no interest in men, you sure have good taste in photos.
Well, except for that flowery speedo thingy.
Do you think he got a brazilian for that shot?

Britney has no business being on the same page as Halle. She's such a hottie that she could lay there like a stone and I'd be back for more every single time.

TM

It depends on the system.