Friendster?
 

Sona si latine loqueris

Please Oh Please
 

Quid rides? Mutato nomine de te fabula narratur!

Friendster?
 

Amoto quaeramus seria ludo.

Apudne te vel me?

Please Oh Please
 

Huh? Other than "please", "yes" and "thank you", I don't speak French.

Can anyone translate?

Please Oh Please
 

You Laugh? Just change the name and the joke's on you.

(Basically.)

And while we are at it:

Amoto quaeramus seria ludo. = Joking aside, let's turn to serious matters.

Apudne te vel me? = Your place or mine.

Actually, someone's having fun with em's Latin phrasebook.
 

Every man looks at me as if I were a dickhead

Honk if you speak Latin.

What are you laughing at? Just change the name and the joke's on you.

Joking aside, let us turn to serious matters.

Your place or mine?

The sig: Misery loves company.

Friendster?
 

Ernyyl, vs lbh jnag gb or n fznegnff, gel hfvat fbzrguvat bgure guna n cuenfrobbx. Vg'f jnnnl gbb rnfl gb tbbtyr. Fhpu na nzngrhe. Lbh pbhyq unir hfr ebgguvegrra, sbe rknzcyr, n qrpbqvat zrgubq gung gur ebznaf hfrq.

Ovgpu, cyrnfr.

What is this, competing Geek day or what?

http://www.geocities.com/timessquare...topsecret.html

I did note however the proper comma usage in your parting words.

Enoughway.

ACL Music Recap
 

I have spent the past three days in Zilker Park with 60,000+ random people and several of you. ACL was fantasic this year -- actually better than last year. Overall, with 130 bands on 8 stages over 15 acres on Town Lake, it was a blast and we are now exhausted. It's hard to say which was more fun, the music or the Texas FBers.

There were some great music revelations, some great favorites, and some acts I never have to see again.

The Revelations:

First and foremost, Robert Randolph & the Family Band is absolutely incredible. He plays pedal steel guitar and the excitement and exuberance he brings to his performance was infectious. I will see him every single time he plays in Austin.

Second, Jack Johnson was as good as everyone said. As much as I wanted to dismiss him as a pretty boy beloved by co-eds, he was really good. This was his first show in Texas and he will be back.

Third, Los Lonely Boys rock the house. They put on a fantastic show: great songs, great performances.

Old Faithfuls:

Los Lobos is always terrific. Their Saturday set was excellent. They had a mini-encore that was also terrific.

Karl Denson's Tiny Universe is my favorite band to see live. They put on a great show, as always.

Charlie Hunter -- what can you say about a virtuoso who plays an 8 stringed instrument (top 5 are guitar, bottom 3 are bass)? He's just incredible. His trio was very tight.

Rebirth Brass Band has a great live show. It's just a party as long as they are playing.

Not Worth the Bother:

Spoon is an old Austin band. I recall a couple of you talking about them last week, so I went to remind myself why I don't like them. This is the basic reason: if I wanted to hear the Violent Femmes, I would listen to the Violent Femmes, not this warmed-over VF wanna-bes. We stayed about 45 seconds.

Polyphonic Spree was all bombast and Sgt. Pepper. We were all curious to hear them live since they've received a lot of press, but they were just awful.

Edited to add: we have the doors open at home and we are listening to REM play to close out the festival. They sound terrific, but we were too tired to stay.

Your very own action figure
 

There's an action figure for everyone these days. Even librarians.
http://www.nytimes.com/2003/09/21/fashion/21ACTI.html
(Spree: tame NYTimes article with pictures of clothed action figures)

And porn stars. http://www.jeff-stryker.com/actionfigure.html
(Spree: semi-nekkid anatomically correct action figure with fully posable penis).

But no need for action figure envy. You too can have your own action figure, for a price: http://www.herobuilders.com/cusacfig.html (more clothed action figures)

So for your Monday consideration, what would your action figure look like? What kind of accessories and clothing?

Edited to note that these custom action figures aren't all that expensive. It might be the perfect deal toy for that client whose bills approach the national debt level. And if said client is a little vain, a serious suck-up opportunity.

Your very own action figure
 

Were I to have my own action figure, I would want her to have the biceps of my dreams and a briefcase that converts to a flamethrower so I could incinerate piles of irritating paper at will.

And Kung Fu grip.

The Southern Floating Dead
 

Yes*. I think that the problem is, in some places where the graveyard is at or below sea level, there's only so much one can do.


*Apologies if Atticus or others have already responded to this (probably in impressive detail).

Your very own action figure
 

My action figure would look like me and come with my accessories and clothing.

Things I would not like to read today
 

I am really looking forward to more stimulating posts about how cute the "brazenette" is. And how it is the most amazing person ever. I bet it is even cuter than its little moniker,, which is juts darling. I hope to see more posts like these, bc they are indeed fascinating. I just cant keep brazen down on the Ignore Farm anymore- she is just too fascinating. I hope she doesnt hit a lull in her sheer brilliantness, but I would take that over the pure, steadfast, consistent boringness of a thurgreed or a robustpuppy. contributors like brazen and her fascinating offspring really make this board what it is and something I look forward to reading every day. Keep up the good work brazen! and welcome back to the glass house. I am sure the JSOCK facgtory was really annoying you, what with the lactation lust and all that. I will be sure to include some Windex as a parting gift.

and when you reply to this, as I am sure you will, be sure to toss in a pithy comment or original thought to ensure that I read it, so you dont have to go the passive aggressive route of petty complaining to others about me in the form of a piggyback on the oh so popular Sebvy. It is so very Shannen Doherty in Heathers, dont you think? Keep it funny or nteresting and definitely nonderivative, otherwise, you will join the other dime a dozen SUVs on the Scrollpast Freeway, and I know you are just way too special to be there.

Your very own action figure
 

Would it have big TITS!?

aV

Action Figures
 

My action figure would be able to change from mild mannered attorney to .... mild mannered activist in one fell swoop! She would need both suits and jeans with appropriate accessories in order to successfully achieve this. She'd also be tall. Because I'd like to be tall for once.

And by the way. What is a fell swoop? I mean I know we had one in Macbeth and all but what's the deal?

Atticus?

Free DQ Ice Cream Today!
 

For those of you who work near a Dairy Queen, stop by today for your free Ice Cream Cone!




DQ® Celebrates 100 Years of the Cone

In an effort to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the ice cream cone, Dairy Queen® operators throughout the United States will celebrate by offering customers a free 5 oz. vanilla ice cream cone (one per customer) on Monday, Sept. 22, 2003. As part of the celebration, Dairy Queen® employees will be collecting donations for Children's Miracle Network, the DQ® system's charity of choice. This one-day grassroots event will kick-off a year-long celebration of the ice cream cone that will run through September 2004.

Things I would not like to read today
 

Looks like very heavy competition for the Bilmore aware today. Please get additional entries in before noon so the judges will have adequate time to consider them.

Things I would not like to read today
 

`What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly. `Explain yourself!'

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

I did an eponymous search since I am way too far behind to catch up having escaped the hurricane just in the nick.

anyway. i think BL knowws my POV. With toys, the rule is you get what you pay for. The Rabbit is not too much, it is not enough. It works at a decent rate for like ten minutes total per battery, but it sucks. The magic wand is worth every fucking penny, and I recommend the attachment. The only problem with it is that it may be too good. I recently got the comment "why are you in such a hurry?" I think the answer is I am used to gettin off within two minutes. but then again, the magic wand has taught me the art of the multiple, so why not, as Pink would say, get that party started early?

I lvoe the water dancer but have gone through a couple of them. For the price they are good, but have a shit lifespan.

I remember Salon did a piece on toys, that I plan to reread on my next toy store expedition.

sorry for the late feedback, but this is a very importnaat subject.

and i hope the split up isnt duvet splooge splatter related. sorry about it.

ACL Music Recap
 

These guys are just phenomenal.

Action Figures
 

"Fell" means bad, savage, etc. (Think root of "felon".) "Swoop" means, well, swoop. So, a hawk diving to kill its prey is in a fell swoop. Quick and savage death.

Your very own action figure
 

I would smite down sexist pigs and evil dog-haters with a single whack of my immaculate white gloves. And I would civilize tiresome alpha-asshole opposing counsel with a nice break for tea and perhaps some narcotized cookies in the afternoons.

My smashing collection of vintage cloches would serve no particular purpose, but who says you can't look chic kicking ass?

Action Figures
 

So I will quickly and savagely change clothing? I am not sure that is a good thing, I mean it could get torn or I could break a nail or something.

Maybe I need to alter my premise.

Rabbits and magic wands and waterdancers, oh my!
 

Some uses for toys in Sex with Two People situations that does not make the guy obsolete:

1) vibrating or nonvibrating dildo to be inserted into slot B durring cunnilingus (the only way I can get off during this to date)

2) same as above but slot C. Dont forget the jelly

3) guy uses described toy on girl while she goes down on him (which is not ideal for me bc I am not one of these talented multi taskers- I need to focus on the job at hand, if you will)

4) during intercourse, of course

5) girl uses a jelly dipped little vibrating dildo on guy during just about anything. TIP: get a cock ring, or even better, tie off the head of the penis so that he doesnt come to quickly and get that party ended too quickly, bc he will go nuts.

Your very own action figure
 

I would just want it to look like Snake Eyes.


Or Storm Shadow.

Friendster?
 

Sparkleguy's take on the night:

So, I email this girl. She's not very attractive, so I don't really need to turn on the charm to get her to agree to go out with me. The email exchange was almost immediately boring. I give her a call because I'd rather talk to another human being than deal through email, but she seemed to be more comfortable from the safety of her computer.

We met for dinner and I turn on the charm. It works like a..well, charm. I foolishly ask her to a concert in a month's time. She says yes, of course. She found me on the internet. What's she got to do?

Our second date was to TGIF in her neighborhood. She sure likes buffalo wings. The way she eats them grosses me out to the point of making me squirm in my chair. She asks what's wrong so I have to blame it on the music. I decide to take her someplace where there's no food. She's got nothing to say at all, so I try to fill the void. I start thinking, "Kill me now."

She finally says she has to go home. She looked so pathetic leaning in like that that I had to kiss her. How did she kiss? Two words: "Dead fish." Yuck.

Since this is going nowhere fast, I decided not to spend another dime on this girl. So, we go to a free concert, outdoors. I make sure I'm the one who brings the food because I can't bear to watch her devour the Krispy Kremes she wanted to bring. I also bring the chairs because I didn't want her to have to carry anything. Guess what? She brings one of her stupid, nosy, ugly friends instead. Hello? This is a date, jackass. I don't want to have to entertain your stupid friends. Especially the ones who can't get their own dates and who have to be critical because they have nothing going on in their lives.

So, I'm trying to put all this behind me and am just sitting back, enjoying the music when my date and her idiot friend keep drilling me about my personal life. I'm a private person (and didn't feel like discussing in front of her nosy friend anyway), so I decide to dodge the questions with anything I can think of. I made all this shit up about my garden. She bought every word of it. Knucklehead. I live on the 18th floor and have one plant.

She's coughing, wheezing and sneezing and again, leans in for a kiss like she's an overgrown catfish. This time, I decline.

I can't believe I committed to going to this concert with her. I should have taken my mom. But since she's here and no longer ill, I might as well try and cop a feel or two. She's as cold as ice, but lets me do my thing. Whatever. I'm done with her, but give her the old, "we should do this again sometime" line. She eats it up. Then she leans in for another kiss. I hope this is the last one.

For the next few days, she won't stop emailing me, so I finally respond. Then she asks why we didn't go all the way. I mean, you were just sneezing all in my face. What'd you think was going to happen? So, that was that.

What a shitty date. I can't deal with these girls I meet over the internet. It's like they're only alive when they're dealing with you on email. Unless you're a buffalo wing, they don't know how to interact with you face-to-face.

TM

this isn't debate camp
 

Good God. It was a joke. The idea behind the joke is that my client was only after the debtor's assets and wouldn't have asked for a personal guarantee from a white CEO in the same position because he would in fact believe in the company, etc. Don't be such a putz.

TM

Your very own action figure
 

They make my action figure. Mr. Potatohead. But he needs a couch as an accessory.

And an Uzi. You never know when an uzi will come in handy.

Things I would not like to read today
 

poster whose persona I havent determined yet, please. the bilmore of the day is by definition limited to one or two lines. , and to get abbaesque on you, it is MY term, I invented it, and I popluarized it. MINE.

FWIW< I htink burger brought TITS to the board, darlin. BUt I will give you credit for bitch pleae, though I sense that maybe snoopy dog dog invented it.

LOVED the drive by truckers at the Fest. and E/O, thanks to you and Oddman for letting me share your bed.

Things I would not like to read today
 

FINE. A new award will be given today, in honor of the poster whose persona has been stuck more times and in more places than a pin cushion (NTTAWWT, BTW). The PAIGSoTD award goes to the poster with the most boring yet verbose post each day.

Competition is expected to be hot; again, entries in by noon.

Things I would not like to read today
 

Burger will (or at least should) confirm that I am responsible for bringing TITS!!! to the board (though I have never claimed to have invented it). Bringing back TITS!!! was my new years' resolution circa 2002 (could have been 2001, but I think 2002).

Things I would not like to read today
 

Yawn. Derivative attempts at funniness are so very bold n brazenesque. get your own material and step off my coattails.

and bitch please, the boringest poster on the board competition, while tough, would not see me in its final rounds. If so, I would be on yours, and probably someone else's ignore list. but it's just too good.

but thanks for playing.

this isn't debate camp
 

Again? Always with the after-the-fact "it was a joke" excuse. Sheesh. Effin' arrogant.

Things I would not like to read today
 

and to answer the actio figure thing, while I dont have one for myself, I can imagine a little FB dollhourse, where, at this point,. bold n brazen jumps in, in heather number three mode, and comments about my supersized ego in an attempt to rally the troups and start a coup'd'skek against the mother of all Heathers.

Things I would not like to read today
 

If he won't, I will.





Oh, you mean the post . . . .

Things I would not like to read today
 

TITS are yours; and mostly everyone here would agree with me on that.

Things I would not like to read today
 

So much for "what happens at ACL, stays at ACL."

Things I would not like to read today
 

The only think worse than a boring post is a boring back and forth on a boring post.

No thanks to either of you for playing.

Today is starting to look like Bilmore's day. Neither of you have risen to the occassion. Paigow, Greedy, step aside.