Metrosexuality RIP
 

My friends have discussed the theory that Stacey Pressman is not a real person, but rather an ESPN created "Simone" character. I've googled her name and found nothing. And that picture of her on ESPN2's site looks too digital to be real. Plus, she's funny, smart and she LOVES football (and by that I mean she can explain different defenses). And fake or not, in her picture she looks really hot. Her favorite thing in the world is giving blowjobs, and roadhead is what turns her on the most...

Metrosexuality RIP
 

Are you saying women cannot be funny, smart, and LOVE football?

stream of consciousness much?
 

I just saw the Honda SUV commercial with the wife talking about how the off-road features are important because her husband was raised by wolves. Funny.

Speaking of SUVs, I'm pissed because Hummer uses a great old song, "Happy Jack," in their latest commercial. (Thanks for selling out to shill fricken Hummers, Pete -- oh, and by the way, these Hummers are gargantuan SUVs, not blow jobs from "rough boys.")

And speaking of commercials, I hate that commercial for the ESPN outdoor reality show that airs every 30 seconds or so during SportsCenter -- I am so incredibly sick of seeing that tough guy say "everybody knows I never cry," followed by the shot of him sobbing in the dark.

And speaking of ESPN, when exactly did they decide that they didn't want to show sports anymore? Is this like MTV's decision to stop showing music videos? I blame Disney. Drop the reality shows and bring back Australian Rules football, Mister Eisner!

Metrosexuality RIP
 

Interesting theory. I wonder if espn may have outsmarted themselves if your theory is true. I enjoy roadhead, but my knowledge of defenses basically comes from EA Sports. I may find such breadth of knowledge intimidating. On the other hand, I may find her instruction inspirational. And I'd gladly hit Suzy Kolber, so who knows?

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

But do they have to be entertaining to be acceptable?

Metrosexuality RIP
 

Now, it all makes sense. I couldn't figure out why you kept calling me "Suzy."

Freak.

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

Jesus Paigs, this is a new low. The appropriate reply to Less' post is "uncle."

If its OK to post windbag nonsense on the FB, then why the flaming about others being "blustery"?

I ain't flaming here, I'm just really confused. I'm beginning to think fucking you would be like being in an orgy.

S(A little consistency is necessary... not much, just a little)D

Metrosexuality RIP
 

Of course they can.

But she's Bill Walsh in a hot girl's body.

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

Less, I'm disappointed. I read this opening and expected a sonnet to Paigow.

Thy eternal summer shall not fade.

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

Nonsense, Sebby. Didn't you ever enjoy the neverending personality switches of "The Three Faces of Eve"?

Didja Miss Me?
 

Apparently they have a more refined sense of beauty than you.

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

No way I could do a proper sonnet with the correct rhyming in the octave and the sestet. That said, I would call it "Fourteen Lines About Fourteen Women."

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

If you two don't get a room, it's gonna be more like Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

And with that lame response, bilmore broke the board again. Fuck.

The Day's Awards
 

Well, kids, thanks for tuning in. We've counted up all the votes from the judges, and the winners are in. For a special treat, not only are we giving the first PAIGSoTD award for longest meaningless post, but we're also kicking in the Geraldo award for making it all about me, another derivative little joke which, like all worthwhile humor, ultimately originates from Paigow.

For third place, for her posts on the Bilmore award, the judges name: PaigowPrincess!

Coming in second and often, for her posts on reality TV, PaigowPrincess!

And, coming in first, beating herself yet again, and again, for her lively repartee with Les, Paigow Princess!

And, indeed, for the Geraldo award, do any of you have any doubt?

Remember, it's all about the Paigs! (She's so vain I'll bet she thinks this post is about her...)

Now, everyone, let's look to make this competitive. Remember, long, meaningless posts. You can do it!

The Day's Awards
 

You seem to have a head start for tomorrow.

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

If, by "broke", you mean "became devoid of all intelligent expression by NCS", then it certainly predates my post.

Originally posted by paigowprincess
And we get to hear more stories about him fucking stupid, drunken, unsuspecting foreign broads with no taste!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't worry, I'm sure after he fucks all the stupid, drunken, foreign broads, he'll make his way to the stupid, drunken broads from connecticut*. You'll probably only go through about 1200 D-cells before he gets to you.

L(I've got you on ignore, but I was told you missed me)FM





*Note that I'm not sure you're from Connecticut, but I have an impression of you pretending to be from NYC, so I suspect you're really from CT.

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

I am lucky enough to have an inside track on that info 24/7. By broke I meant "killed the will of all other posters to take the effort to continue the stupid thread".

Metrosexuality RIP
 

Are you worried you're not a woman?

I need an avatar
 

You are the queen of avatar finding. If you happen to come across any that would be good for me, let me know. BTW, the Church Lady is way too easy -- can't be so obvious.

One Fell Swoop
 

If Atticus read this question, then became trapped under 20 banker's boxes in a tragic document review accident, he'd chew his limb off to answer, so I know I'm a late (but fully-limbed) arrival.

With that preface, Shakespeare invented the term "one fell swoop." It's first recorded use was in Macbeth. It means "all at once."

MACDUFF: [after learning his wife and children have been murdered]
All my pretty ones?
Did you say all? O hell-kite! All?
What, all my pretty chickens and their dam
At one fell swoop?

Here's a site that provides Atticus-like detail.

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

This is the most important thread in the history of Lawtalkers.

I, for one, am sitting here breathless in anticipation for the next naming to The List.

It's so much better than reality tv. It's reality reality.

I need an avatar
 

The glove has been tossed, the challenge has been laid. An Avatar for the wingnut* amongst us.

I accept!


*Please note wingnut is used in the loving sense not the insulting sense on this occasion. Fugee is one of my favoritest wingnuts.

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

Notwithstanding the kidnap and misogynist themes, only the best movie ever.

Thurgreed(that flick came out waaaay before hip hop)Marshall

test
 

testing new avatar.

The Day's Awards
 

Long meaningless posts are very 1999. 1999 is in.

"Meaningless":

Meaningless?
You mean it's all been meaningless?
Every whisper and caress?
Yes yes yes it was totally meaningless
Meaningless
like when two fireflies fluoresce
Just like everything i guess
it was utterly meaningless


http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node=Meaningless

Sabine women
 

Them women was sobbin', sobbin', sobbin',
Fit to be tied.
Every muscle was throbbin', throbbin',
From that riotous ride.
Seems they cried and kissed and kissed and cried
All over that Roman countryside
So don't forget that when you're takin' a bride.

BR(why don't people taunt the censors like that anymore?)C

Sabine women
 

I don't know, but the house building/dancing scene should have won all them womens over on the spot.

Thurgreed(we need someone to do our cookin' and mendin', got any dynamite on hand? that pass looks just about ready)Marshall

Didja Miss Me?
 

Either you ran into some uptight Finns or Moldavans are really really easy -- from what I've heard of Finns, they're born with round heels. But I'm glad the Moldavans are still #1 because they're much funnier in my stale jokes than Finns or Estonians would be.

Word to your Father!
 

Heaven forfend!

Nothing to add to what's been said on "fell swoop," but I'm keen to read a couple of books about English words and phrases originating in the first English translations of the Bible. I heard some fascinating radio interviews of one of the authors.

In what has to be the dictionary definition of ironic, "interpretation" first appeared in Wycliffe's 1382 translation of Daniel 5:14. "Ivory tower" first appeared in Wycliffe's Song of Solomon 7:4, and "born again" was introduced at John 3:3. "Female" (Genesis 1:27), "puberty" (Malachi 2:14) and "sex" (Genesis 6:19) each found their first occasion in print in Wycliffe. One wonders what words were previously used in their stead.

Coverdale's 1535 translation saw the first use of "left wing [lefte wynge]" (1 Maccabees 9:16) to describe political factions. Of course, Maccabees is deuterocanonical, so YMMV. NTTAWWT. FWIW.

Sabine women
 

I never imagined you watching a 1950s musical. Or did you see the title and think it was about boys in the 'hood? :D

But you're right about that dance scene (as well as about the misogeny and kidnapping).

Fugee
 

You're gonna need to let me know some of the other things that interest you. But here's a start.

http://www.digikitten.com/playhousev...e/wingnut7.gif

http://www.digikitten.com/playhousev...ze/wingnut.jpg

http://www.digikitten.com/playhousev...nutchicken.jpg

Emmy Fever!
 

Wow. My new best friend dtb. thank you.

Metrosexuality RIP
 

Interesting. Ms. Pressman herself (if she exists) has addressed this theory.

Did the editors of Page 2 pull an SI and create "Stacey Pressman" a la Sidd Finch? If you're real, I've got to say I'm impressed. First, you bust out a reference to Contra and I'll bet you remember the code for getting extra lives too! I'm skeptical about the reality of your existence. So, really, are you fo' real?!?


Lawrence Benedetto
Chicago

Your humor is very guy-like. Did you grow up in a household full of brothers?


Mike


Lawrence, I don't know what to tell you. As J. Lo and Ja-Rule would say -- I'm real.

And if you can believe this, Mike, I grew up in a household full of sisters -- along with a dog that was neutered. I am the oldest of four girls. No boys! I know it's hard to believe, but we played Contra. In fact, my sister Neile would beat me to the spread gun in two-player mode every time! I think to this day I blame that spread gun for the fact that we're not Stockton/Malone tight. And to all the readers who asked, of course I know the cheat code for extra lives: up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-B-A-Start.

http://espn.go.com/page2/s/pressman/030526.html

I am intrigued by this "Stacey Pressman." I was unaware of her before today.

Fugee
 

Because I love all things Fugee, I had to help in the avatar quest. My suggestion:

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0...CMZZZZZZZ_.jpg

Metrosexuality RIP
 

I vote "hoax." No matter how much they like sports, girls who went to Columbia (Barnard! {cough} Barnard!) do not give good roadhead.

Prove me wrong, Lady Lions . . . stink_stank_stunk@hotmail.com . . . .

Word to your Father!
 

This is interesting. I always thought it originated from the layout of the factions in the French assemblies around the French Revolution. More, More!

The Day's Awards
 

Thank you for the nomination. I ask the judges to please take notice.

The Day's Awards
 

With paigs, "flagellate" = "gal" + "fellate." But don't count on getting any friction.