Confidential to Fringey and Sebby
 

Truer words have never been spoken...

Strange Poll
 

While driving south on 95 in Rhode Island, the guy in the car next to us was TCB'ing. No, we didn't stay around for the money shot. We were young and laughing too hard.

Strange Poll
 

The non-boring conlaw Erie is really quite fascinating. But the DOL (EEOC) has switched sides so it looks like it's going to be a non-issue in future.

Strange Poll
 

Cite, please?

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Yeah, which raises the question of why I felt the need to make the joke myself. It was the posting equivalent of blurting out the answer before the teacher decides not to call on you for it just so you can prove you knew it.

This in turn raises the question of why I criticize myself publicly. But we'll have to save that for another session, doc.

Blindness
 

I worked as a cocktail server in my previous life. During my first year of law school (I know, I shouldn't have been working, but turns out I didn't for long anyway) I told the scheduler in mid-November not to schedule me for December 20 because I had a Christmas party I really wanted to go to. I continued to remind her of this fact. The schedule came out, and sure enough, I was scheduled to work all night. I told the scheduler that I had asked for it off and was not coming in. I tried to cover my shift but no one would. I told the scheduler this and reiterated (this was like two weeks before the 20th) that I was not coming in. Sure enough, the 20th comes around and I did not show up for my shift. Apparently, chaos ensued. I came home from my well-worth it party in the wee hours of the 21st to a message from the manager informing me that if I could not be counted on, I could no longer count on a job. And that I better have enjoyed the party because I would not work as a cocktail server in my relatively large city again. Blackballed. Muhahahahaha.

I went to that bar that very night (I was scheduled again on the 21st) and drank away my sorrow at having lost my job and all prospects for meaningful work in the future. As I recall, the manager was not amused. They couldn't cover my shift for the 21st either, but since I was fired, I certainly was not going to help out.

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http://www.eeoc.gov/docs/benefits-rescind.html

and you can see the crossed-out section where they talk about Erie in http://www.eeoc.gov/docs/benefits.html (search "rescinded" or "Erie")

Strange Poll
 

My God, you are such a geek. A polite geek, but a geek nonetheless.

Ee-rye-eee Canal
 

Anybody remember this from elementary school? It's been in my head for the past couple of hours:

I've got an old mule and her name is Sal
Fifteen miles on the Erie Canal
She's a good old worker and a good old pal
Fifteen miles on the Erie Canal
We've hauled some barges in our day
Filled with lumber, coal, and hay
And every inch of the way we know
From Albany to Buffalo

Low bridge, everybody down
Low bridge for we're coming to a town
And you'll always know your neighbor
And you'll always know your pal
If you've ever navigated on
The Erie Canal

The rest of the lyrics and a link to an audio file are
here.

Blindness
 

I love that line. The same was used on me "you know, [gwnc], Toronto is a big city but we [bar owners] all talk". WTF - I walked out on one job and got another one down the street the same afternoon.

One story I like from a place I worked - the manager (prick) was arguing with this waitress whom I really liked (she was really good, too - worked hard, very pretty, had many regular customers), and he was getting mad and said something like "well you can just quit - girls like you are a dime a dozen". So she reached into her belt and pulled out a dime and threw it at him and said "here's your dime, asshole, go make my day" and walked out. He was just stunned - never thought she would leave. He went running after her.

So "here's your dime, asshole" always seems to run through my head when I deal with pricks (often).

Strange Poll
 

No, actually, that so many are competing for this award should tell you that a Bilmore Of The Day might not be the perjorative that you suggest. Sometimes, short and pithy observations that tie in earlier themes are mildly amusing and, even better, are relatively easy to compose in the midst of a hectic day.

They may not be the tent-poles of Big Ideas composed by you (like say, burritos) but such idle chatter is the stuff of internet cocktail party chatter. Shunning it in favor of the Big Ideas would make this board impenetrable.

And, as a bonus, the style of the BOTD can be easily mimicked, and affords a sheen of credibility to lurkers or infrequent posters. Personally, it is my ambition to mimic Atticus' style, but since I'm only part of the way through Emily Post's latest tome and Karen Armstrong's The History of God, for now I'll simply have to make do.

Gattigap

Blindness
 

The sad thing is if he had any once of common sense, he probably realized how lame that threat was, but he had nothing else to throw out at you. Poor guy.

Restaurant management sucks.

Confidential to Fringey and Sebby
 

Well, to paraphrase Benny, that's what this post business is-sincere insincerity.

I feel like such an ass.

http://www.vgernet.net/tpelkey/benny.../bottomsup.jpg

Strange Poll
 

Ok. What's your copay? I can pencil you in on next Tuesday, if you like.

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I hope by that request, you meant that the Eerie Doctrine is not remotely "fascinating" and that you were hoping to find a cite regarding the fascinating aspect of it.

Blindness
 

There's a anal sex skullfucking joke in there somewhere trying to cum out.

Strange Poll
 

Dear FoJRUSS:

There is more to the Bilmore of the day than a short and pithy observation. And lest you think that I treat this as a pejorative award, I suggest you read my post about how to pay tribute to a classic poster that was directed to RP. Like your good friend JRUSS, you know not of what you speak, you are not in with the in people, you dont get it and you will never be FB Cool. Now go back to your room in the Of Counsel Track Cage with the other unfunny old men who could not connect the dots and don't come back until you get a clue about How Things Are besides my love of the burrito, which is so 1999 by the way.

Ding dong, recession's gone
 

I have it on excellent authority that Gibson is hiring midlevel litigation laterals at all its offices. Not so sure that they are looking for juniors, though (below 3rd year). And yes, Virgina, associates do get a bonus for finding qualified candidates.

Strange Poll
 

Bitch please. You need look no further than here (http://www.actuary.org/pdf/health/eeoc_16oct02.pdf) for proof of the fascinatingness. Anything that actuaries write about is OBVIOUSLY fascinating.

Poll: walking out
 

By way of example, I offer this golden oldie from CWT:

"It is with some regret but with great relief that, effective with this transmission today, May 7, 1998, I am resigning my position as associate with your firm. I have found myself unable to balance my workload against your demands and the demands of your clients, which I expected to be rigorous but did not anticipate to be as completely unreasonable as they proved.

I have spoken with a representative of the Ethics Committee of the Appellate Division, First Department, and have been informed that my actions today constitute no violation of any ethical canon to which I am bound by professional obligation.

I have six matters which are being pressed to close in haste--true to form. All work and documentation for these can be found in piles on the radiator in my office, room XXX. They are labeled accordingly.

With your permission, I shall return to the office on Saturday, May 9th, to complete my billable time entries, organize my files, and retrieve my personal property. At that time, I shall also prepare a formal "Exit Memorandum" which will provide a status report of all open matters to which I have been assigned.

I trust that accounting and payroll will make suitable arrangements to compensate me for my accrued but unused vacation time. I have already left the office for the day. If necessary, my home telephone number is (212) 555-XXXX, however, I cannot guaranty that I will be at that number. An answering machine is available.

I regret only that I will be unable to use the good name of this firm and its members as a reference for future employment.

I thank you for the opportunity to have worked with you.

/s/ [fed up associate]"

I've never walked out, though I have come close (I still remember sitting in a chair listening to this asshole tell me that real associates don't take weekends and realizing "omigod, if this guy dicks me around just one more time, whether I want to or not or try to stop myself or not, I am going to quit on the spot"). The Mr. walked out on one just a few months ago - he was subjected to an irrational bossly outburst, made 1 phone call to secure another job, and then said "see ya!"

It must be nice not to be the primary bread winner.

Poll: walking out
 

I thought the Mr. was Prince of Mozambique or something? Wasn't it you whose inlaws thought it was cute that you actually worked for a living?

Sometimes I really miss my sugar daddy. But alas, the chemistry was simply not there.

Poll: walking out
 

I never have either, but a friend has told me the story about how a co-worker of his got drunk at a X-mas party and punched out his boss (after he was told to stop dancing on the table). Not sure if he wanted to quit though.

Strange Poll
 

You are right. I would find it unfortunate, but not particularly odd.

Strange Poll
 

See, now, I've been taking this as an unintended compliment. I suspect that I aspire to things that are anathema to PP. NTTAWWT

Poll: walking out
 

Nah, just the Prince of my Heart!!! :love:

Sorry, it got away from me there.
Yes. They haven't started paying the rent, though. I think that would involve moving back to his home town and breeding or something.

Strange Poll
 

Actually, it was an end-around way to find out what kind of resources provide authority in ltl's field.

It's pretty much alien to my practice history, and you never know when you might want to know something like that.

Actress Excited to Land Eating Disorder Ad
 

http://www.theonion.com/3937/news2.html

Alas, no mention of LFB, who must have been her role model.

Strange Poll
 

As a Californian, I can say this is not the strangest thing I've ever seen, but it makes me smile to remember it:

And so it came to pass that Atticus was wandering the aisles of Whole Foods, it having been entrusted unto him by his tribe to obtain organic Mozzarella di Bufala. And lo!, he beheld two fully shorn Buddhist nuns, in the saffron robes it was their custom to wear in those times, together pushing a shopping cart, walking side by side in silence, each with two hands on the handlebar of the shopping cart. And Atticus furtively followed them up Aisle 1, down Aisle 2, and so on, until they reached the checkout counter.

And lo!, their cart was empty. For this, they paid nothing, as is right and meet.

Whatever the opposite of ironic is, this is it.

Edited because I got reamed for hyphenating a compound adjective. As is right and meet.

Dirty Hos
 

from The Smoking Gun --

SEPTEMBER 22--The owners of a $4.5 million Malibu estate are suing the producers of "The Bachelor," claiming that their place was trashed during the month they rented the property to Warner Bros. for the filming of the reality TV show's new season, which debuts Wednesday. According to the below Los Angeles Superior Court complaint, lawyer Kenneth Chyten and his wife this summer rented their Malibu home--which they've dubbed Oceanview Manor--to "The Bachelor" for $45,000. The Chytens claim that when the cast and crew vacated the two-acre spread, they left behind holes in the walls, a rodent and poisonous spider infestation, discarded feminine hygiene products, and other assorted damage and debris. The couple is seeking $5 million in damages.

see full pleading here -- http://www.thesmokinggun.com/doc_o_day/doc_o_day.html


Query how their damages could be $5 million, when the entire estate (read "house" in Malibu) is only worth $4.5 million.

Dirty Hos
 

Serves em right for being stupid enough to rent from a lawyer...

Dirty Hos
 

Did they not understand that, by agreeing to host a reality TV show on their property, they assumed the risk that cast-off douchebags would linger because they had no better place to go?

Strange Poll
 

Well, it's good to see that the patella is in working form.

Pity, though. I expected Big Ideas.

Strange Poll
 

They were blessing the food*. Not sure why they did it with a cart. A Buddhist monk used to walk through my local organic-type supermarket regularly and do the same thing.

*actually, blessing the food is not really correct. I think what they were doing was extending loving-kindness towards the food and meditating on it, but I think it amounts to the same thing.

Dirty Hos
 

Speaking of cast-off douchebags, the Ninth ruled this morning that we can cast our douchebag off on October 7th - http://edition.cnn.com/2003/ALLPOLIT...all/index.html

Dirty Hos
 

The impossibility of renting the house again, because of the helicopters that annoyed and vexed teh neighbors?

The emotional distress caused to the wife who is pregnant, with twins? (mentioned at least 6 times in the pleading).

Sebby, how would you shuck and jive on this one?

It's All the Cat's Fault
 

Wife Reckless? Hubby Morose? Blame the Cat

"PRAGUE (Reuters) - Kicking the cat may be a metaphor about venting frustrations on the innocent family feline, but could it be that Snowball really is to blame?

Czech scientist Jaroslav Flegr of Charles University in Prague told Reuters his research showed a parasite called toxoplasma gondii in cats, rabbits or raw meat, may make women reckless and friendly while making men jealous and morose.

Just contracting the bug might not be life-threatening but infected women behind the wheel can be fatal, and those out for a stroll in busy traffic may be a hazard, he said.

"It is not much fun. Our research has shown that toxoplasmosis raises 2.6 times the risk of a traffic accident by prolonging the reaction time of infected people," he said.

. . . .

Flegr said his research shows men infected by the bug tend to be quiet, withdrawn, suspicious, jealous and dogmatic. He said he could not find a reason for the different reactions.

The illness could be responsible for up to one million of deaths on the roads worldwide, making it the one of the deadliest parasitic diseases, second only to malaria, he said. "

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp...health_cats_dc

Finally, someone is doing something about making national security cute.
 

http://www.geekandproud.net/terror/i...terror-all.jpg

Your current terror alert level is:

http://www.geekandproud.net/terror/terror.php

(Will automatically update.)

Mo Dirty Hos
 

OK, usually I don't bother with the likes of Bennifer, but this is too much.

Taking a Shot at Bennifer

It's All the Cat's Fault
 

Isn't this the same crackpot research organization that said that heroin was dangerous? Fools.

Strange Poll