women's hockey jerseys
 

You give me more credit than I'm due.

(1) Down here, we're raised to believe that as it is here, so it is elsewhere. You mean to tell me that the majesty of Piggly Wigglies has not yet been spread across the entire American landscape? Such a loss for the unwashed masses.

(2) Down here, familial networks extend far. Though this Fenwick guy does sound familiar to us, NotBob's tales (while amusing) trigger no spark of recognition. And if he isn't known to the Extended Gap Clan (including for current purposes that Taylor branch which was excommunicated for that unfortunate episode regarding the livestock back in the 20's), then he can't be from around here.

La Pope
 

No being Pope is for life. You can't quit, you can't get fired. There is a "special" vote that the Cardinals can call for - but I can't remember if any Pope has ever been voted out for health reasons. Wouldn't it be cool thought of JP just said - fuck it Im out of here.

fucking telemarketers
 

Had the job of selling these things via telphone back in the day. We had a script that read:

"Hi, this is Hank C. I'm calling for the POLICE OFFICERS association of ______. How are you today, Mr. _______"

Most people yelled or hung up. The trick was to get the immigrants, who were by far the most likely to donate.

"I'm calling for the POLICE OFFICERS association of ______. How are you today, Mr. Imaxazytri?"

"Depends. Why are you calling?"

This start usually led to a sale.

La Pope
 

Or announced "this is all a crock - thanks for the donations, suckers!" and left for Barbados.

The Whiff
 

Am too. Actually, I was tired and it got past me.

Kathleen Turner is Way Too Old
 

All this examination of Kathleen Turner's former (and not present) hotness has lead me to a question: At what age is the "tipping point" when you generally find younger people of your preferred gender more attractive than older ones?

I'll go with about 30 (as a male preferring females), but that's just a working theory.

fucking telemarketers
 

Lately I seem to get a call every evening about five minutes before 9:00 (i.e. right before the FDCPA, for example, says don't call, assholes, if I remember correctly). Needless to say, this doesn't improve their odds of chiselling money out of me versus calling at any other time.

If I'm a Congressperson and want to get reelected forever, I get a bill ratifying the no-call list in the hopper ASAP.

P (for the nineteenth time, no, I don't want AT&T local fucking service) D

edited to say not that the FDCPA applies to most calls, of course, but it does at least set some limits on annoying telephone contact.

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

Do you feel better or worse that she is also alleged to be a borderline autistic?

fucking telemarketers
 

If you're a safe congressman looking to build up a huge warchest to keep you safe (and maybe pave the way for that Senate run), you keep that bill in the hopper and away from the floor.

La Pope
 

That would be beautiful. And on his way out the door, "by the way - to Pat Robertson, God says no matter how hard you pray, that hurricane is coming to get you - someday - it's a matter of time."

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

Let's not let her list of ailments distract us from her main problem: she is one of the worst dressers in history, and no matter how hot one may think she is, eventually, one would have to appear in public with her.

Would post a photo, but can't. Which is just as well, for all your sakes.

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

Jackson Browne gave her a black eye and broke her finger when she was 2 years old? And she still dated him later?

fucking telemarketers
 

No, she should not have perfectly coiffed hair. Instead a wisp of it always falls forward across her glasses, requiring the action figure to distractedly (and endearingly) push it back while explaining yet again why paying $75,364.69 to "rent" a TV on a weekly basis is a bad idea.

Hmm. Reminds me of someone....

fucking telemarketers
 

These calls are usually scams. Many states and municipalities ban them altogether. I've been told (by a NYC police charity) that no legitimate NYC police charity solicits by telephone. Which makes sense, given the NYC police departments historical devotion to really amazing graft.

If the alleged police charity doesn't actively encourage you to call your local cophouse to check them out and give you names (of the org, telemarketing co. if any, and the full name of the individual calling), a local street address and a local call-back number to donate, just hang up.

QE
 

Which one was it? I never see them when they first air -- I catch up on the weekends, so I've got to make sure I don't miss it. My most recent favorite moment (this was not a recent episode, but it was the most recent one I saw) was watching Jai's face when he found the schlub's kid's "He-Man, Masters of the Universe" sword in a closet. The expression on his face when it lights up and says "I HAVE THE POWER!!!!" was priceless.


Two thoughts:

1. Which one is Kyan? (and how do you pronounce it? like the pepper?) Is he the "grooming" guy?

2. Re: widely-available. Now I know you're just trying to irk me. Well, it's working, mister.

fucking telemarketers
 

I like to say, I'm very interested in that -- wait just a minute while I find my wallet. Then I set down the phone.

QE
 

1) what is "golem"?

2) I had given up on this show but was checking out the Restaurant which I missed on NBC due to someone'es misguided rec. I left bravo on and QE was on. What was so exceptionally funny about the reveal? I did enjoy a couple of lines like "that mother is going to take her shirt off" and "a mint julep is an Irish mojito", and the silence was kinda funny, but otherwise? please rehash for me. I was doind laundry so maybe I missed it?

Also, how is Jai pronounced? "hi"?

EDITED to clarify that I missed the restauant bc I thought it would suck and then someone recommended I see it so I tuned in. First instinct correct. It sucks. Em's rec was misguided.

and now I am turning into RP

fucking telemarketers
 

How to avoid telemarketers in three words or less. Lose your groundline.

I get no unwanted calls now that I am pure cellphone. Its great.

La Pope
 

I believe you are missing a comma in the above sentence. It changes the meaning significantly, because for a select few, "no being Pope" is NOT for life....


(I'm sorry, I just can't help myself. I'm the worst sort of Timmy -- shouldn't there be some kind of support group for this?)

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

Excerpts from the link:

DOB: (December 3, 1960- )

Jackson Browne gave her a black eye and broke her finger in 1962



Damn! That Jackson Browne is one sick fuck. It's bad enough to abuse her (or anyone, for that matter) when she's all growed up -- but to seek out a two-year-old and break her finger. That's just uncool, man.

Edited to say: Shit. Abba beat me to it -- and was much more clever too. You bitch!

QE
 

Alan C., the cheap-ass Trump wannabe.

Grooming guy. Rhymes with Ryan. Apparently, St. Kyan was the patron saint of black jeans and vertically striped collared shirts.

I like pulling pigtails over the Internet. It's my hamly-fisted way of flirting.

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

I love that Joan Rivers refers to him as "Carrot Bottom." I understand third-hand that he plays for my team.

In gym class, he would have been picked last.

Dua(Joan and her daughter are creepy, too)lit

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

I knew y'all'd enjoy that little nugget. It's also why I said the autism is "alleged."

fucking telemarketers
 

I'm with you, sister.

I'm a mom and pop store kind of guy. I generally try to avoid the really big stores when I can, even if I have to pay a little more. When Blockbuster's business plan involves locating already successful video rental shops and opening literally adjacent to them, it pisses me off.

But the last time I moved, I went down to the local video rental place and asked for forms to sign up. I filled out the form, gave two credit card numbers, but skipped the social security information.

When I gave it to him and he asked me to fill it in, I asked him why he needed it.

He said, "It's just precautionary."

I said, "You have two of my credit cards in case I decide to run off with a dvd or video that's been viewed by 67 people already and cost you, at most, $10 - $30. Why do you need my social security number?"

He said, "It's store policy." [Boy do I love that one. Who came up with this, by the way? And why do people hear that and then walk away, accepting it happily?]

I said, "Are you the manager or do you own this store?"

He said, "I own it."

I said, "So it's your policy."

He said, "Yeah, I guess so."

I said, "Can you explain the reasons behind setting up such a policy?"

He said, "It's precautionary in nature."

I said, "Well, that clears it up. Don't you realize that people lose their identities to crooks everyday because some jackass clerk at the video store is careless with applications like these and leaves them laying around for anyone to pick up?"

He said, "I assure you, we are very careful with the applications."

I said, pointing to one of the applications that had been sitting next to the register since I came in, "You mean like this one?"

He said, "Well, yeah. And I'm sorry if it upsets you, but it's store policy. Everyone who rents here has to fill it out."

I said, "Give me back my application," ripped it up and finished with, "I can't wait until Blockbuster knocks you off this block. But in the meantime, I'll rent from the other video store two blocks away from here, dumbass."

Thurgreed(and it wasn't an elaine, putamayo situation -- different owner, I checked)Marshall

fucking telemarketers
 

I just make one up. It's faster.

QE
 

I insult both of us by doing this, but the golem was a mythical clay automaton of European Jewish folklore --- a "made man," if you will. Inspired millions of nightmares and the Frankenstein novel.

I don't want to spoil, but the things he was muttering to himself as he swept the floor? The creative inclusion of gin in a certain Irish mojito? His multiple uses of the kitchen towel while making the canapes? The way he lept up to offer more drinks to everybody, when he'd already given his girlfriend's dad a Big Gulp of bourbon? Jesus, he was a fucking mess.

Rhymes with "homosexual," i.e., it's the Broadway spelling of "Jay."

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

It's the too-obvious eyelid job and the Spock-like diagonally plucked eyebrows (on Carrot-top) that frighten me.

QE
 

The new one this week. The guy was getting prepped to host the meeting of his and his girlfriend's parents. The uncomfortable silences were just priceless.


spoiler



This ep sort of broke my heart. The SG fought, and fought hard, in defense of his cheapness. (The "aqua man/swamp man" comment was brilliant, too. Most SGs haven't had the balls to argue with the Fab 5.) But he was so, so delighted with his new nice things - like the antique Italian glasses and martini set. And then, disaster - the go smashing to the floor, kaboom! His distress was just horrible to watch - he kept saying "No, no, that was the coolest thing ever" and even worse, while sweeping up, saying "this is why you don't buy nice things, this is why you don't buy nice things." Being a firm believer that one should (i) have nice things, (ii) use them regularly and enjoy them, and (iii) therefore never have things SO nice that, if they die, you become so distraught that you begin repeating over and over "this is why I don't have nice things" like an autistic with OCD, I was really wrenched by that performance. Again, I may be a materialistic monster, but I, too, have gotten so attached to occasional things that, when they die, I feel real pain.

I know. I want one.

he is the grooming guy. It appears to be pronounced "KHAI-in"

fucking telemarketers
 

or just make up a number and rent from that store.

fucking telemarketers
 

Yup, did this in 2000.

And here's a link to the Sport's Guy's mailbag: http://espn.go.com/page2/s/simmons/030924.html

My Favorites:

On Gordon Jump:

"And where was the tribute to the late Gordon Jump on yesterday's page? Here's a guy who guest-starred in the creepiest sitcom episode of all-time -- nearly molesting Arnold and Dudley on "Diff'rent Strokes," terrifying an entire generation of kids in the early '80's -- and he doesn't even get mentioned in the Daily Quickie? The man had Dudley's shirt off, for God's sake!"

On uncomfortable movie moments:

Honorable Mention: Gene Hackman planting one on Barbara Hershey in "Hoosiers" ... everything that happened during Adrian's coma in "Rocky 2" ... every scene with Bruce Willis and his girlfriend in "Pulp Fiction" ... Mr. Holland singing to his son in "Mr. Holland's Opus" ... every scene with Michael Corleone and his girlfriend before Sonny got shot ... the ending of "He Got Game" ... the answering machine scene from "Swingers."


Special Mention: The three-way hug from "The Battle of Shaker Heights" that ended up getting chopped out of the movie, but supplied us with a great name for a roto team.


Runner-up: The scene near the end of "The Breakfast Club" when they're dancing to the Wang Chung song, then Emilio Estevez smokes some pot -- so he runs around the library, shuts himself in the music room, then screams at the top of his lungs, shouting so powerfully that he shatters the glass window. I still can't believe this happened.


Winner: The scene in "Beautiful Girls" when everyone sings "Sweet Caroline." And it's not just because the whole scene is so forced, you actually feel sorry for the actors as it's happening. It's just so cliched and awkward, and you just want it to end, but it keeps going, and everyone's trying to seem so damned happy ... God, I'm getting the shakes just thinking about it. Plus, the Sports Gal loves this scene and we've actually fought about whether it's good or not. This one brings everything to the table.


(By the way, is the chorus to "Sweet Caroline" running through your head right now? Good. Now you know how I feel.)"

On Teen Wolf:

"Q: Why is Mick allowed to stand under the basket while Scott Howard shoots his free throws at the end of "Teen Wolf?" This has always bothered me. -- Dave Baksi, Mechanicaburg, Pa


SG: Wait a second ... out of all the things that happened in "Teen Wolf," THIS was what bothered you?"

QE
 

Are you sure you're Jewish?

fucking people demanding my SS #
 

Actually, a friend, who is foreign and was living here illegally for a time (with no social security number) did this all the time. He not only had a video card, he had bank accounts, a credit card and a lease. If ever there was proof positive that the fucking number is useless to the assholes who ask for it, I think that is it.

I don't actually know if he amended the info when he finally got legal.

Edited to say: Thurgreed, I didn't know we had so much in common in the peeve/paranoia department. Cool.

QE
 

This is a pet peeve of a friend of mine (I don't know if this is exactly on point, because I didn't see the show, but whatever.)

You know in the deli when the sandwich guy makes a big show of wiping off the area where he's going to make your sandwich? Does the guy think that wiping it off with that skank-ass rag (the one he's been using all day to wipe up God-knows-what -- his nose, perhaps) is going to make you feel like the conditions are really hygienic and sanitary? I thought not.



Edited to fix spelling error in critical word -- but many thanks to Atticus for memorializing my error forever.

Also, since when are we able to delete posts? Cool.

fucking telemarketers
 

Baby, you have got me sooooo hot right now.

QE
 

Atticus Grinch: Goy Eye for the JAP Girl

QE
 

Watch the show. You're in for a treat.

fucking telemarketers
 

When the wonk monster was small, I used to give him the phone. He'd usually babble for a couple of minutes, then grin and let loose with an ear-splitting squeal of laughter.

Even now I think of all the deafened telemarketers and smile.

fucking telemarketers
 

They caught on to that trick years ago.

Once you hand the phone over, they start teaching him bad words, and telling him to hide his dad's keys.

We're all next on Paigow's ignore list
 

It's fucking Don Lapre, but I'm unable to provide an image of his smarmy mug telling you how to make big money by taking out thousands of tiny classified ads. TM? Help a gent out?

QE
 

The golem also figured prominently in the plot of Kavalier and Clay, which I had thought was a mandatory selection on the FB reading list.