Favorite Magazines?
 

Is this sort of like the Lung Brush?











Do not taunt Super Happy Fun Ball.

Bare Bottoms Banned By BYU
 

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/nati...ttoms-Ban.html

I know Mormons aren't allowed to have any physical fun themselves prior to marriage, but they're not even allowed to see a photo of an au naturel athlete?

National Geographic must be sheer hard-core porn to these students.

Beckham Who?
 

I thought you guys would like watching sweaty girls with nice legs run around chasing balls.

Gossip Folks
 

That's some religious thing? What exactly requires a witness?

Gossip Folks
 

Not sure how religious it is, but I have had witnesses knock the hell out of a case before.

Beckham Who?
 

It's not the chasing that's the problem. It's the kicking...

Favorite Magazines?
 

Well damn, what's the point then?

Fucking telemarketers
 

Actually, that antitelemarketer site is really useful. Not only do I discover that many of my favorite guerilla tactics have met with success by others, too, they had a great suggestion:

Whenever a store or service provider asks for a telephone number (which permits that company and all its affiliates to telemarket to you regardless of having your name on the do not call list), give them the telephone number of a telemarketing group or company.

Direct Marketing Associates: 212 768-7277
American Marketing Assosication: 800 262 1150
Telemarketing Consultants 800 779-8442
Phone For Success: 212 431 6700
TeleManagement: 212 684 3500

Let those guys fend off their bretheren. Again, with the toll free numbers, the recipient pays for the call.

And, incidentally, try not to call businesses or order things over the phone if you can avoid it. The company and its affiliates are then permitted under the new laws to capture the number you call from and telemarket to you, regardless of the number being on the do-not-call list and regardless of the reason for your call (finding out store hours, calling an employee, complaints, etc.).

Gossip Folks
 

In part, knocking on my front door at dinnertime and annoying me with religious gibberish while my food gets cold and the cat tries to escape. (The ones not selling Kirby Vaccuum cleaners, that is.) I told the last set I was a witch - they have no response in their little books for that and they left quickly.

-TL

Book Lovers' Poll
 

I think we may be the same person. I knew I liked you for a reason! (It's so nice that all my personalities can co-exist in pleasing harmony....)

Except the bit about Pynchon. I have tried to read Gravity's Rainbow so many times, but have just never been engaged by it.

On the other hand, I'm on the second go-round of the Harry Potter series (reading aloud this time to my youngster). They're awesome!

Fucking telemarketers
 

I'm curious if there has been any concerted consumer attempt to gather the names of companies that solicit through telemarketers for purposes of establishing an organized boycott. I would think that might have some effect.

Fucking telemarketers
 

Incidentally, I have been on the TX no call lists since they began and my calls have been reduced to almost none - other than political calls and the occasional survey. I highly recommend it for the TX folks. If I could only get on a no-witness and no-door-to-door-Kirby-Vaccuum-Sales list, I would be on cloud nine. Someone somewhere senses that I not only need Jesus in my life, but that I need really clean floors in order to welcome him.

-TL

Gossip Folks
 

Can I have him when you're done?

Gossip Folks
 

Oooooh. These are the Christians who come to my house to tell me Jesus loves me. For the record, they never have a response to "I know, he was one of my tribe, remember?" either.

Fucking telemarketers
 

Sometimes the Kirby people can be useful. I've had them vacuum my floors several times.

I have yet to find a use for the witnesses, however. I wish that they wanted to show me how clean windows please god.

Gossip Folks
 

I have, on ocaission, pointed to the mezuzah hanging on my doorpost and said "See this? It's my ticket to hell."

Bilmore
 

I know this may be outable, but I need you to say it isnt so.

PLF was IMing me about something and I told him I visuallize you wearing a plaid suit He said you dont, just a lot of down and polypropolyene and white manpanties.

Is it true you dont wear plaid suits? this is blowing my mind.

An invitation
 

A friend of mine recently told me about this site:

www.fantasyteevee.com

The premise is that you act as executive of a network, set your TV lineups, and compete against other networks. I was wondering if anybody on the FB was interested in a little friendly (or vicious, if you prefer) TV competition....

Gossip Folks
 

Don't worry BnB. We've still got until around Armageddon to actually repent before it becomes a permanent gig, right?

P(as I recall, I was maybe doomed to the Fifth Circle, but I'm satisfied with that)J

Fucking telemarketers
 

So true. I've been tempted to have them do a demo like they offer each time, but the guys they send out look pretty creepy sometimes and there is no way I'm letting them in my house unless I have backup. -TL

Fucking telemarketers
 

They mowed my lawn once. But they were Mormons and not JWs.

What's grosser than gross?
 

How about telling your eight-year-old daughter that she is dying of leukemia, shaving her head, giving her sleeping pills to make it appear she was receiving chemotherapy, making her wear a protective mask, and putting her in counseling to prepare for death, all to add a touch of realism to your scam to induce local businesses and individuals to donate $31,000 for your daughter's "treatment."

Hannah, who is now eight, has been placed in a foster home and is expected to require psychological treatment (the real kind) well into her adulthood.

That is so seriously fucked up, I don't think Satan could have dreamed it up. They should put them in the same cell as the guy who stomped Geoghan to death.

Bilmore
 

I'm a little more concerned about how PLF might know about the manpanty thing.

Fucking telemarketers
 

True confession time. Once upon a time, a long time ago, I was desperate for a summer job, and I answered one of those "Summer Jobs" flyers that get hung up all over college areas. The employer in question was the Public Interest Research Group, and they were launching a campaign about saving the wetlands in the Katy Prarie from the development of a Westside airport. It was an interesting coaltion. The NRA and Ducks Unlimited and the Sierra Club were all on board.

Anyhow, for one very hot, muggy summer, I went door to door at around dinner time asking people if they wanted to help save the wetlands, and while they were at it, did they want to join the Sierra Club. I had a little spiel I was supposed to give, and I was supposed to sell a certain number of memberships a day or week or something if I wanted to get paid. What I was doing was apparently constitutionally protected speech, because it was political advocacy, but I felt like a door to door salesman, and most people, especially those with the No Solicitations signs on their doors, didn't understand how I was any different than TexLex's vacuum people. I didn't make much money that summer. On the other hand, the Katy Prarie is still there and an airport isn't, so that's good.

Fucking telemarketers
 

Do they do laundry, too?

Bilmore
 

I'm getting worried about you, dear. Does your every conversation deal with me? I know I should be flattered, but, lord, woman, I am taken. Please move on. You make me fear for my rabbit.

(Rest easy. He was spoofing you. I wear nothing BUT plaid. Even the manpanties.)

Fucking telemarketers
 

That's the gig I had in college that I quit after a day and a half! Different good cause (it was in Rhode Island, can't remember the cause anymore). I couldn't bring myself to knock on the doors. Just lack that salesperson gene.

What's grosser than gross?
 

Some people, it seems, just shouldn't breed.

They're alive!
 

The Stepford Wives come to Connecticut (well, again).

Excerpt: "First, if you're looking for potential Stepford wives — or at least women who look the part — there is an embarrassment of riches to choose from in Fairfield County."

They're alive!
 

Honey, they never, ever left.

What's grosser than gross?
 

And some people just can't take a joke. Lighten up, people. Sheesh!

Bilmore
 

YOu have a rabbit? I recommend the Magic Wand.

Anyway, I didnt bring yuou up. I was just sitting here, working and got a brrrrrrinnnnnnnnnng and it was flower writing to say that he thought you got the bilmore of the day (forgive me, petals). I said you were not eligible for it and he said that awards should not be named for people until they die to avoid that conundrum. A good point, but what would I call the award? Anyway , this segued into your plaid suit and manpanties.

I am between cyber lovers at the moment but I dont think you are next.

Gossip Folks
 

A Jewish buddy still has a poster from his more active 70's period that says "We did SO kill him." It hangs in his foyer. It's quite effective.

Fucking telemarketers
 

Had I asked, I'm sure they would have. Industrious bunch, those Mormons. Polite, too. They brought around what I guess would be an Elder-in-training, who was a local. For his mission, they were sending him to freaking Provo. I think you have to wear suspenders and a belt for that gig.

What's grosser than gross?
 

I'm surprised the judge didn't see the humor.

On an unrelated note, that line was my favorite from BRC's article too! I was thinking it would make a good sig line (if I did that sort of thing AND if I had a dick)! So despite your move away from my witicisms, I'm on board with the sig line for the day. Just don't let it happen again...

Bilmore
 

Do not even ask. I am not gonna die just so your dumb award can continue.

Alanis Likes Brazilians
 

Sorry to disappoint those of you reading the subject line and looking for hot cunnilungus, but...

While touring in South America, singer Alanis Morrissette finished a show with a heartfelt "Thank you, Brazil!!"... Only problem is she was in Peru.

At least Spinal Tap only got the CITY wrong.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/3136342.stm

What's grosser than gross?
 

After reading about these fine folks and the dude who shoots tomato-throwing Amish teens, I'm proud to live in the Buckeye state.

aV

Bilmore
 

I won't dignify this with a response.

(This is not a response.)

He IS pretty, though.

Desparately seeking.....
 

I need a birthday present stat for the spouse who has everything (and the rest he is probably bidding on Ebay right now). The thing I was going to get him fell through (an event he can't attend).

Concerns are the following - travel and anything time-intensive is out until after mid-October due to his work concerns, I am 31 weeks huge, he picks out his own clothes, he is a Barbasol kind of guy, I've got about 4 days left, and I am trying to be creative.

Right now I have a nice chocolate custard-filled cake recipe ready to go and nothing else. At this point, I may resort to buying porn, which will at least temporarily divert his attention from the fact that I couldn't come up with a real gift.

-T(frustrated and panicking)L :eek: