Sphincterine
 

I have found a product for those of you with the "corn" issues. It's an ass-tringent and the site offers ass-timonials.
Use this before every date. Best part is Pucker says it tingles.http://www.mintyass.com/Page%20Graphics/Pucker.gif

mintyass.com

http://www.mintyass.com/images/use.gif

http://www.getluckytiger.com/Merchan...lo%20Small.gif
Pucker says "you can't put a price on a clean ass."

Urgent RECALL!!
 

I know that several of you are probably impacted by this breaking news!!!

Cnn.com

U.S. recalls all Segway scooters sold to consumers for falling hazard. Details coming.

Edited because cnn corrected their incorrect newsflash:

U.S. says Segway recalls all scooters sold to consumers for falling hazard. Details coming.

George Plimpton RIP
 

One person from here I know is in mourning is Sidd. After all, it was George Plimpton in 1985 who, in a Sports Illustrated article, introduced the world to Sidd Finch.

Funniest Line on Television
 

{Confidential to RP: He lies. It's an M.C. Escher print and a John Belushi poster. Run!}

Well, it looks like they edited the title to swap in his home # with his office #. But, if you want to see the original title of the article that has, what appears to be, Mr. Carlson's home #, click on Leagl's link, and, in the search box on the Fox News page, type in "Carlson" and you'll get the remnants of some sloppy website administration.

If, by this time, someone at Fox purged the website of the offending number, here is a screendump of my search:

http://www.geocities.com/pretermitte...tuckergoof.jpg

Edited to fix typo.

George Plimpton RIP
 

Indeed. It's a death in the family for me.

George Plimpton RIP
 

How did he die? anyone? I havent seen anything specfic.

Something I learned today
 

So this college friend of mine calls from way out of the blue to tell me he is spending twelve weeks in the City and would i like to visit him (hello!) and we get on the subject of hair. Apparnetly, our good friend Jerry, who was quite hairy , and quite isnt strong enough a word,. had lost all of his hair. which is not a shock consiering the fur level, which I unfortuntaley got to feel when one day, while I crashed at their place when between apartments, he decided to take his clothes off and crawl into bed and spoon me (shiver, so nasty), is on rogaine and has regrown his hair into "a gay hairstyle".

I did not know that stuff owrked. Glad to hear it does.

CArry on.

Funniest Line on Television
 

George Plimpton RIP
 

And with all the forensic examinations these days occurring in such poorly-lit* conditions, we may never know.

*B, p.

Fucking telemarketers and Fucking Judges
 

Those services suck, incidentally. Partner I work with has one, and I've given up and just started calling his cell when he's working from home. He's getting it disconnected because he's discovered that callers like emergency services (calling about a gas leak) and his kids' schools can't get through.

Poaching
 

Quoting myself to say spoke too soon. Jessica Alba and Portia de Rossi were nearby (not together) at the Radiohead concert last night. Which was AWESOME, by the way. As was the White Stripes concert on Monday. Hard to say which was more AWESOME. They were both AWESOME.

More details when I have a moment, which will probably be some time in late October.

Urgent RECALL!!
 

Didn't they figure that out after W fell off one?

Dua(maybe they thought that incident was an anomoly, just like with pretzels)lit

George Plimpton RIP
 

I dunno, he was in NYC, wasn't he? Those labs and stuff on L&O seem relatively well-lit. NYPD Blue also has good lighting.

However, if he died on a trip to Miami or Vegas I fear for the investigation.

An invitation
 

Here's my line-up:

8:00 p.m: The Lottery - a reality show based on the Shirley Jackson story.
8:30 p.m.: The Miller Lite Cat-Fight Girls disrobe very slowly
9:00 p.m: Live Executions of Criminals (1 hour)

What do I win?

Urgent RECALL!!
 

Soon, the President will be completely vindicated by a nationwide pretzel recall.

Sphincterine
 

Ladies and Gentlemen of the FB, I submit to you our new board motto.

sf

Edited to adjust for my dyslexia -- and my ADD.

Sphincterine
 

Originally posted by Anttwat
"you can't put a price on a clean ass."


Yes you can. A second date with Thurgreed

Sphincterine
 

The poop report (if you click on it) is hysterical. Sounds like something right off the FB.

Sphincterine: Ass Altoids By Hairy Pooter...Sphincterine Personal Refresher is pretty much spearmint mouthwash for your butt. It's an "all-natural" liquid that you wipe around the rings of Uranus with toilet paper (or a wash cloth, according to the directions... eww!), leaving a cool, tingly sensation down there that will instill confidence in even my horrible post-bathing suit underwear swampy ass.

When I first tried Sphincterine, it almost hurt, like my rectum was in the first stages of freezer burn. But the intense minty pain quickly subsided, and I was left with a wonderfully cool cornhole. It was the same feeling I get when I put sliced cucumbers on my eyelids, or aloe on sun-burned shoulders. Sphincterine is truly soothing and delightful.

Though I haven't tried them yet, Sphincterine also comes in travel-sized single use packets -- wetnaps, essentially. I am a regular user of wetnaps -- I keep them in my golf bag, just in case I need to I need to freshen up or clean some leakage down there in the middle of a particularly sweaty round.

And you can order a thong....

http://www.poopreport.com/News/Images/cafepress.gif

Sphincterine
 

So what's the price? The cost of a big mac and fries?

More E-Bay stuff
 

Weirdness on E-Bay...
INTERNET auction site eBay has been hit by a bizarre craze where people appear naked in reflections on goods they are selling.

Reflectoporn - the way exhibitionists get their nude bodies seen by millions around the world - swept America and has now spread to the UK.
Buyers browsing eBay have found busty naked women and fat nude men reflected in kettles, TVs, toasters, guitars and even knives and forks.
One regular eBay user said: "I was totally shocked when I realised what was in the reflection of a kettle I was looking at.
"At first it appeared to be an obscure shape, but then I realised it was the reflection of a naked woman holding a camera. It's hard to believe what some kinky people will get up to."

Kind of like breasticle day - only different.
Link here - however there's one questionable possible work sensitive picture
http://images.icnetwork.co.uk/upl/mi...BFB6FA0000.jpg

Urgent RECALL!!
 

Oh, come on.

Link. It's some kind of newsflash that when they run out of electricity, they're gonna fall over?

This is probably just a difference between the CPSC and NHTSA, because I don't see NHTSA recalling all motorcycles for identical reasons.

Urgent RECALL!!
 

worse. when my car ran out of gas on the expressway, it just stopped, right in the middle of traffic.

Of fice and men.
 

Humans are genetically closer to dogs than they are to mice.

I guess Bill Frist was vivisecting the wrong domesticated animal during his youthful indiscretions in med school.

Holy crap! Robert Palmer R.I.P.
 

I'll admit that when I saw this item, the first image that popped into my head was of 8 overly made-up models in identical black miniskirts as pallbearers.

Another article suggested natural causes, as Robert apparently wasn't "into the excesses of the rock 'n roll lifestyle."

Holy crap! Robert Palmer R.I.P.
 

Speaking of, I was amused (and therefore must share) this NYTimes magazinearticle on the Starship--the shag-carpeted plane chartered by rock bands in the 70s to enjoy lobster dinners in towns other than the one they were playing. It came equipped with a fireplace and waterbed, as well.

Excerpt:

''The girls would get on the plane and fly to wherever the next show was,'' recalls Bruce Payne, the group's manager. ''Fathers two states over were calling the cops.''

An invitation
 

It depends on the strength of your 9:00 content. Lethal injections? Yawn. Firing squad? Boring. If this is a sweeps period, electrocutions and hangings are the way to go. If you include Al Jazeera as a partner, you may even get some beheadings. Give the people what they want.

An invitation
 

I've always wanted to see a stoning.* Not from a first person perspective, however.



*Note: this is not true.

Urgent RECALL!!
 

BotD, Congratulations, Sock.

Urgent RECALL!!
 

Thanks, but I'm not spending it till you log off for the day.

An invitation
 

Then str8 may have found his market niche, since Nigeria is letting us down.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/africa...ing/index.html

An invitation
 

So can we win a day-time time slot with a sort of National Geographic "Executions from Around" the World Slot. More fun than seeing L'l Simba reduce bambi to burger!

(Edited to add: can we do a show right before hand, too, called "Amputations without Anethesia", perhaps with filming in Kabul)

An invitation
 

televised stoning would have the same camera angle problems as soccer.

An invitation
 

How can someone reach your age without having attended a Dead show?

Urgent RECALL!!
 

The Bilmore of the Day does not come with a cash prize. It is more of an honor. Like an honorary degree, or bacon. Like you wouldl find in a bacon lettuce and tomato sandwich.

Urgent RECALL!!
 

Or being on an ignore list?

An invitation
 

One reason I know I am going to hell is that I have been fascinated with torture since my stroll through the Tower of London at age 14. I actually research these things in my spare time. Most people wouldn't guess that I am an Iron Maiden fan. I am also partial to the boot.

Urgent RECALL!!
 

But of course you know, gold doesn't grow on trees, William.

sf