Mary Carey
 

Pop diva/porn star is not a split personality.

coupla things
 

Yeah. I hate when this happens. Especially the fifth time. But damn, they taste good.

Thurgreed(i know i didn't get to this one first)Marshall

Running couch potato
 

Nice try, penguin boy. But I would never go jogging.

TM

coupla things
 

Good use of "disquisition."

Neuroses Test
 

Your score is 55.

You are slightly neurotic, and fairly enlightened as well.

Neuroses Test
 

Same here. No wonder you dig me.

sf

Neuroses Test
 

I have a score of 43 but am also slightly neurotic and fairly enlightened. This doesn't seem right. There should be a material difference in neuroses between 43 and 55, but yet they say I'm just as neurotic as you are. Not right at all.

In better news, this site also offers a test to determine ARE YOU DAMNED TO HELL!


(Edited to add, my results were:

Your score is 54.

At present, it looks like you are headed to Purgatory. Your test results indicate that you have conflicting beliefs and actions. When these beliefs and actions merge harmoniously, you will find inner peace and embark on your journey to Heaven or Hell.

So I'm as blessed as Jack is Neurotic. But neither are getting us very far.

And further edited to add: I think this is bogus in part because they asked my religion and probably began with misconceptions about who Catholics are, since I'm basically a pinko-feminist, quasi-mystical, anti-papacy Catholic, which means there's nothing contradictory about any of it)

Neuroses Test
 

What's the point in taking the test, really?
Aren't we already damned to hell (since, you know, we're lawyers and all that?)

Sunscreen doesn't work
 

LONDON, Sept. 29 — Sunscreen creams cannot fully protect people against an increasingly common form of skin cancer even when correct amounts are applied, according to research published on Monday.
Professor Roy Sanders, a consultant plastic surgeon with RAFT, the Restoration of Appearance and Function Trust, said suncreams were much less effective at blocking ultraviolet A (UVA) light, which can cause the skin cancer melanoma, than UVB.
“When ultraviolet A impinges on the skin it triggers the release of highly reactive chemicals called free radicals which we believe can induce a malignant change,” he told BBC Radio.
“Since ambient sunlight is principally ultraviolet A and since sunscreens protect mostly against ultraviolet B, if we use the sunscreens it may increase the risk of us developing a rather unpleasant cancer called malignant melanoma,” he said.

Which, I guess, is different from that "pleasant" cancer, just regular melanoma.

link to story here

Neuroses Test
 

I got a 50 and am also headed to purgatory. I really had counted on a lower score and clear shot to hell, but there were too few sex questions.



Edit -- this reminds me of a DC area bar that I liked when I was there called Heaven and Hell in Adams Morgan. Is that place still around? Paigow? RP? I used to like to go to hell and sit in Satan chairs while listening to Tool or some other driving loud music. I'm warped like that though.

I had a 48 on the whole neurotic thing, which means I too am only slightly nuerotic and enlightened. That doesn't seem right.

On the hell thing:

Your score is 38.

You are going straight to Hell! You appear to have the courage and conviction to live as an individual in a world that pressures you to become a conformist. You are a seeker of knowledge and an artist of life. Your future will never be peaceful, but you will be alive.

Also, I am Unholier Than Thou

Your score is 45.

Congratulations, you have passed the Hypocrite Test! You are officially Unholier Than Thou. The world is a happier place with you in it.

http://www.unholierthanthou.com/holier-than-thou.html

Excuse me, but this isn't right. If people who are seekers of knowledge and artists of life aren't in heaven, the place is gonna suck!

Neuroses Test
 

Still there.

Hell is the new Heaven.

Hell Test
 

Your score is 35.

You are going straight to Hell! You appear to have the courage and conviction to live as an individual in a world that pressures you to become a conformist. You are a seeker of knowledge and an artist of life. Your future will never be peaceful, but you will be alive.

Woo-hooo!

The sinners have much more fun.

Sunscreen doesn't work
 

Much like the overuse of antibiotics has resulted in more resistant strains of bugs, the overuse for decades of the one common sunscreen ingredient has affected the spectrum of the UV energy that our skin receives. It is, of course, the logical result that, as we screen out certain wavelengths, other wavelengths will pop up to take their place, and natural selection mandates that the proportion of unaffected wavelengths would increase as the affected wavelengths fail to propogate. This is simply nature driven amok by man.

"Your score is 65.

You are remarkably average, and therefore are neither Holy nor Unholy compared to other humans. Play it cool, and you may be able to sneak through the gates unnoticed. "

If there is one thing I hate, it's being remarkably average.

Sunscreen doesn't work
 

The alternative is just to stay indoors. But that's going to make that trip to Tahiti really suck.

Sunscreen doesn't work
 

Dude, that's the biggest smile I've cracked all day.

Malignant melanoma is much less nice than any other form of skin cancer. This isn't the stuff your grandfather gets scraped off his nose. It has a pretty sucky survival rate, and recurrence is common.

Something to make you smile
 

If I lived in Pittsburg, I'd have this guy shine my shoes. And who knew that PIttsburgh had an Oakland neighborhood.

PITTSBURGH, Sept. 24 — Just as he’s done for more than two decades, Albert Lexie gets out of bed at 5 a.m. every Tuesday and Thursday, takes two buses to the Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh and makes his rounds — offering shoe shines for $3.
ALSO EVERY TUESDAY, Lexie goes to an office building about three blocks from the hospital and hands over his weekly donation — shoeshine tips, gifts from customers and contributions — to the hospital’s Free Care Fund.
Lexie’s efforts make about $10,000 every year, and he’s donated more than $89,000 since February 1981 to the fund, which helps pay for medical care to pediatric patients regardless of their families’ ability to pay.
Most people who know Lexie say he’s a man of routine and a man of goals. Ultimately, he wants to raise more money than Jerry Lewis, the actor whose Labor Day telethons raise money for the Muscular Dystrophy Association.

Sunscreen doesn't work
 

Translation: Coppertone make Sun God ANGRY. Sun God SMASH deoxyribonucleic acid!

Sunscreen doesn't work
 

3 words: big floppy hats.

Neuroses Test
 

I dont think I know it but it sonds vaguely familiar. There is a club called Heaven, which has to be the stupidest name for a club, ever. I wonder if it has dry ice so you get that white cloud bullshit going?

I am so sad that you left DC. We could watch the Baechelor together, whenever thats on.

Heaven and Hell and Other Folk Tales
 

Hell --

Your score is 58.

At present, it looks like you are headed to Purgatory. Your test results indicate that you have conflicting beliefs and actions. When these beliefs and actions merge harmoniously, you will find inner peace and embark on your journey to Heaven or Hell.

Your score is 52.

You are remarkably average, and therefore are neither Holy nor Unholy compared to other humans. Play it cool, and you may be able to sneak through the gates unnoticed.

**Sigh** I need to get out more.

sf

Once Upon a Time Johnny Depp sold out
 

EO, you owe me $10.50, you bitch. And you're lucky I don't have time to fly down there and beat your ass.

How could you like Once Upon a Time in Mexico. It was a complete failure on every level. The story was stupid. The dialogue was horrible (what a waste of Johnny Depp's time). The special effects? Laughable. I was pleased that Tarantino made no cameos. But pissed that Salma didn't take off her fucking clothes. Bleh. Pittooey. Don't anyone go see this movie. I detest it like a sickness.

TM

Sunscreen doesn't work
 

Well, I've never seen a head-to-toe hat before, but I'll keep looking. Because I'm sure that the reflective light from the reflection of the ocean is going to work much like second-hand smoke. Guess I could bring a coat. And gloves.

Neuroses Test
 

Heaven and Hell is in a 3 story row house -- hell is the basement (as described above), the first floor is purgatory, which has a restaurant and plays jazz (not sure why?). Upstairs is Heaven, with rooftop patio, clouds painted on walls and 80's techno (think Bizarre Love Triangle) playing in background. Really I only ever spent any time in hell. and it was only good for feeling really antisocial but still being out of the house.

And, by the way, THE FINALE OF TEMPTATION ISLAND 3 IS ON FOX TONIGHT. I think that my reminding duties have been fulfilled.

Mary Carey
 

Wasn't this the basic plot of some movie from the 80's with a stripper and Paul Newman playing Huey Long?

As for Mary Carey, she obviously thinks she bears some passing resemblance to Mariah Carey, so she adopted the name. If she bore any resemblance to Harry Caray, she'd be out of work... though Harry would have been very interested in her, the dirty old man.

Neuroses Test
 

Speaking of...what's the deal with Paradise Hotel? The season finale is supposed to be this week and it's not on the regular Fox affiliate.

Heaven and Hell and Other Folk Tales
 

Hell --

Your score is 46. Purgatory.

Unholy --

Your score is 66. Remarkably average.

Neuroses Test
 

Heh. I went to this party about 15 years ago, when the "Divine Comedy" party was already an old tradition at a college in my neck of the Patch. Basement/Hell was acid and heavy metal, main floor/purgatory was coke and classic rock, upstairs/heaven was pot, X and techno music (80s, of course, since it was the 80s). The There were alcoholic cognates, as well: hard liquor and beer in hell and purgatory respectively, I can't remember what was in heaven. Heaven involved everyone being issued a white toga, and hell handed out devil horns, can't remember Purgatory. I'm shocked I remember that much about the party as it is. It was a good goddamn party.

I wonder if I can guess the bar owner's frat.

BR(also famous for their "return to the womb" party, featuring a 2 story outdoor slide into a kiddie-pool full of jello)C

Neuroses Test
 

Edited to add: shrooms. Shrooms were also served in purgatory. Damn, anyone else remember when shrooms were big?

Edited to add: should have hit edit, not reply.

Neuroses Test
 

No.

Effin' druggie.

Neuroses Test
 

Don't know. But X was big in your part of the patch in the 80s? Where would that be?

TM

Neuroses Test
 

Oh yes. 80s-early 90s at my school. there was an official university event at my school that was known to all of the students as shroom day. Rides, games, etc. Fun for the whole family.

X was not big there, but I hear it was huge in Texas and Massachusetts in the mid 80s. Guess I was hanging out in the wrong places.

Improve those test scores
 

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (Reuters) -- Nubile women caress each other as they swim in a huge, see-through fish bowl; two male dancers indulge in a long, lingering kiss and a nearly nude female trapeze artist groans with simulated sexual pleasure.

Sound interesting? Then head to Vegas (where else) and go see the Circus.

Safe for work.

Did she have "TITS!" as her campaign motto?
 

I'm sure that Ms. Carey will have the California porn addict vote, a demographic not to be underestimated.

Though in this recall her candidacy will most likely fall short of her chest's aspirations, her supporters can take solace in the fact that CA's next governor will have TITS!

Bad news is, it'll either be Cruz Bustamante or Arhnuld.

Neuroses Test
 

Lots of shrooms in my part of mid-80s Massachusetts. X was big with friends at school in Pennsylvania.

Neuroses Test
 

See that smile on my face?

Druggieville
 

It wasn't big, but by the late '80s it was around enough to have been picked up by afficianados in the serious hippy-assed druggie-central places in said neck of the patch. It wasn't really a rave thing yet, there at least - it was kind of considered a "nice" mind expander. It seemed simultaneously kind of outre (being sort of offbeat) and old ladyish, like vallium (being cheifly known here for psychiatric uses).

I apparently grew up in serious recreational-druggieville. Or maybe that's just a result of not growing up in a place with a steady supply of interesting legal things for young people to do (there were, but they required (i) money and/or (ii) imagination, which were in shorter supply than chemical entertainment, particularly the second). Coke, 'shrooms, acid, pot, speed and occasionally 'ludes were regular features at high-school parties, not to mention what creative use people managed to make of prescription pharmacology.

BR(I was, however, in college before a friend did crack. "Don't do crack, it's a ghetto drug." That person is now practicing at a well-respected AmLaw 100 firm)C