White Tiger
 

What a sick fuck. Why would someone think it is nice home furnishing to have a bunch of stuffed bodies hanging around the office/den/whatnot? To me it is not a far cry from the Dahmer refrigerator. I want to look at the expression of an animal in its last second of life before soe asshole from NYC on a small dick trip decides to murder it for fun? I am now going to apply to work there so I can secretly infitrate his life and ruin it. If I am really on a roll, I poison his coffee and then have his head chopped off for a nice wall decoreation and have him skinned for a nice rug.

Hemispheric Eye for the Provincial Guy
 

Don't make promises you cannot keep.

Hemispheric Eye for the Provincial Guy
 

Now, now, don't you worry your pretty little head. We'll mix you up a nice comfy Mojito that you can sip in front of the TV this evening. You can watch Three's Company re-runs and pretend that everything is still O.K. in the world.

Hemispheric Eye for the Provincial Guy
 

Do you know if there is an old one on tonight, or a new one? I can't watch the newer ones.
See, early in my legal career, I realized I was Barney Fife, I was swaggering and pompous, but when a tough issue came up, I'd over-react, fumbling for the Motion equivalent of the rationed single bullet in my shirt pocket. I was forever getting trapped by the opposition into corners that were leading to summary dismissal, and then my benevolent supervisor would have to rescue me. But the cool thing was, just like Barney, my supervisor was always careful to not make me look bad. And just like Barney, at the end of each episode, I still had my job.

When I see Mr. Furley, though, the comfort that Don Knotts brings to my young life, threatens to become nightmarish by middle age. I'd rather see a Welcome Back Kotter, thank you.

White Tiger
 

Don't make promises you cannot keep.

(despite waning, plagiarism is still in)

I shouldn't be allowed to have nice things.
 

It has come to my attention that I was the last to post on the old, now-defunct FB. Nobody told me I was supposed to turn out the lights and lock the door. I'm sorry that my negligence broke the board. I shouldn't be allowed to handle valuable things.

In thher news, Courtney Love is self-destructing again. http://www.boston.com/ae/music/artic..._it_this_time/

Question: Is this really news?

edited to add: Holy Shit! Kurt Cobain's kid is 11! As in ELEVEN!!!!! Fuck. I'm old.

Sorry Thrasher
 

My favorite was always the people who fought the speeding tickets by telling the judge that their car wouldn't go that fast.

Oh, yeah, THAT'S gonna fly.

Hemispheric Eye for the Provincial Guy
 

Actually, if you want to get truly morbid, ABC is running the final John Ritter episode of 8 Simple Rules tonight. I'm not sure if they're going to run the footage of him collapsing on the set or not, though.

Not Amused
 

Don't get yer panties in a bunch. I just heard this morning that
S & R themselves are taking measures to ensure all of their animals' safety. I guess Roy is huge in some effort worldwide to save endangered tigers. Their manager said Montecore is in
S & R's compound in his usual place. They also interviewed the manager of the Bronx Zoo, who advised that the tiger would not be destroyed because he did not do anything to indicate that he is any more a danger than any other tiger. This isn't like a rabid dog situation where a child could be mauled by approaching an animal the child would think harmless. We're talking a tiger here.

The most disturbing thing about this whole incident is that (a) I somehow allowed the above facts to enter my head, and (b) I now know what S & R and their act look like. They resemble David Guest and the singer from Whitesnake wearing capes and playing with cats.

Not Amused
 

Actually the most troubling thing is that you appear to have read Paigow's post. I thought you were going to continue posting without ever reading. I think the other posters will mainly agree with me that we were looking forward to the random topic changes.

And I thought ltl was desperate
 

(15 min later . . .)
Did you need something from me, pookie-pie?

Not Amused
 

Poll!

Sorry Thrasher
 

You've never driven an '86 Ford Thunderbird, have you?

Trust me. Some of these guys ain't fibbing.

Not Amused by Poll!
 

You cannot just say "Poll!" and expect me to magically appear and post one.

Hey, that is exactly what you thought, isn't it?

And then I appeared.

This is creepy.

But, post your own damn poll topic.

Sorry Thrasher
 

I don't know if Bilmore has, but I have. And it had a sweet 351 Cleveland stuffed in it. I don't recall seeing Bilmore in the car, we were going so fast that everything was a freaking blur (yeah, that's why). Can we talk about cars now? It sure has been a while since we have. ;)

Football
 

What happened? The Football Gods decided to punish the Bucs for firing Tony Dungy. He returns to Tampa on his birthday, and Lisa Guerrero was wearing Bucs colors, so how could they let him lose?

More specifically, they smote the impious Tampa Bay Buccaneers via injuries. The starting corner for the Bucs (not Tiki's brother, but the other guy) was hurt, and in the second half, Peyton and Marvin beat the poor rookie who stepped in like he was a gong in a kung fu movie. Meanwhile, on offense, Alstott and Pittman (who was having a great game) were hurt, so the home team couldn't run effectively to chew up the clock.

It was truly an amazing display -- other than Frank Reich's playoff miracle of a few years ago, it was the most exciting comeback I have ever seen in a football game. NFL Films will have a blast doing the show on this one.

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

Now, that I think about it, this is our poll topic.

By what are you "Not Amused"?
Even(but this does not mean I am capitulating, Fringey)Odds

edited by Not Bob to fix the capitalization .... Hi, E/O!

Sorry Thrasher
 

I was thinking Rabbit diesel is the perfect example of a car that "couldn't have been going that fast". 55 tops, with a tailwind, downhill.

Sorry Thrasher
 

But it got something like 60mpg. A friend of mine in college had one, and she used to be able to go home (about a 900 mile trip) on $15.00. It was also surprisingly roomy in the back. We were able to fit a lot of people into that tiny car.

Football
 

There have already been two references today to my lovable Buffalo Bills and the greatest comeback in NFL history. I didn't know that any of you cared about me so much that you would make me feel sparkly so often in one day. This is truly a PLiFfy moment for me.

It has to be a sign. I shall now take my leave of you to play the lottery.

Sorry Thrasher
 

No. The topic is depressing. (I've been looking for one certain car lately. Found three. Stuck the stethescope on each one. And then walked away.)

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

Charming little child-beasties in grown-up restaurants.

People who cut you off pulling out of a side street like there's an emergency, then proceed to drive 5 miles an hour as if they were utterly brain-damaged.

But before I go off on a total flashback road rage, I will note that my local bakery makes perhaps the perfect chocolate croissant.

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

I am not amused by:

nu-metal
Lisa Guerrero
Fox Sports Radio
ABC airing "8 Simple Rules"
any sitcom airing on CBS, ever
my Bucs

Random comment alert
 

So I just noticed there are 69 people online.

How interesting.

Perhaps one day we will have 666 people online. That would be fitting.

I am not amused by so many things, it would take a very long time to list them all.

But mostly, I am not amused by being at work.
Oh, I am also not amused by corrupt politics backups.
And also ventures online fuck ups.

And to be positive:

I am amused by California election recalls.
I am amused by the number of drag shows I have attended
I am amused by how surreal life can be.

Not Amused by Poll!
 

The poll was whether anyone really looks forward to SD's "topic changes." Sheesh.

Not to say your appearance isn't magical. Your appearance is always magical.

Sorry Thrasher
 

Yes but the trip took her a week each way. I had friends with those in high school and my 80 Rabbit (unleaded, baby) kicked their respective asses all over the road. I note this with pride because the Rabbit diesel was the ONLY car that I could beat. I could crank that bad boy all the way up to 65 if I wanted to.

(I might have spent some time in the backseats of Rabbits, what are you implying?)

Not Amused by Poll!
 

I apologize. My Bucs ridiculous loss has made me a little short-tempered, and still Not Amused.

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

In no particular order:

- Jeremy Shockey
- Ignore Lists
- Tejada claiming he was insulted by Derek Lowe's gesture
- testy air traffic controllers
- the United Way forced fund drive
- cancer
- the bitch who keeps leaving me her business card on my windshield with a note reading "Hi fellow [insert car name here] owner. Your tires are still very flat and very bald." They aren't. Leave me alone.
- often, my mother

CD
 

My friend produced this CD, which has some really well done versions of Patsy Cline songs.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...music&n=507846

For a tribute album, I think it's good. Although I wish kd lang and not Diana Krall had done Crazy.

Sorry Thrasher
 

Wait a minute, are you implying your Thunderbird moved? Forward? Without a tow truck?

Damn.

Not Amused by Poll!
 

That's OK. You amuse me, and your poll is way more interesting than my (joking) one would have been.

So many things make me Not Amused that I can't even think where to ponder starting.

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

WTF? Is this an advertisement or some concerned/nosey citizen? Is she worried about you? Does she want to sell some tires to you? Have you called her? Aren't you curious about this? Now you have me all consumed by it.

This would drive me crazy. She touched your car for freak's sake. I would go bonkers. I park my car in view of my office and watch it (hey, they pay me so I should be doing something, right?) -- I would bolt from my office and confront anyone I saw near my car. arghhhhhh.

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

I am not amused by chicks posting incessantly about football or football coverage. I am sorry, but that is a man's domain. I don't know why but it is. It just seems like a contrived effort to be a sexy lady for some reason. Its jsut the feeling I get. and while i am at it, the one line, no substance posts about what sports teams you like are also not amusing. Men can be not amusing in this arena as well.


GO YANKEES! Yanks in 4!!!

See, Not Amusing.

I am also not amused by homeless people telling me to smile.

Football
 

In response to this and the not amused poll, I will pick the Bills to top my list. I did, however enjoy watching the Giants beat them in the Superbowl while I was in college in fucking Bills territory. And they are lucky they pulled out that nailbiter against the Bengals (the BENGALS!) this week or they would have knocked me out of my elimination pool. Though I would have deserved it for picking the fucking Bills.

Other things that do not amuse me:

working for a living
nice weather on Mondays while I'm working for a living
crap weather on weekends ever (except when I am forced to be working over the weekend)
the Man
fucking people in Weatherford stealing lottery winnings that are rightfully mine
and finally... personal k redux

Sorry Thrasher
 

Oh, it was not mine. Own a Ford? Me? pffftttt. I wouldn't even get the towtruck, just leave the Ford piece of shit on the road and hope someone sets fire to it. Hell, I wouldn't even fuck the guy who owned the T-Bird. ick-feh.

Addendum to Not Amused Poll
 

The exception to my Not AMused rule about chicks and football is Thrasher. Any woman who drinks a six of Schlitz every night and who sounds like Susan Hawk in my mind as I read her posts is clearly not posting about football to be a sexy lady.

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

Last fuckhead who said this to me I said my mom had just died, asshole. True or not (it was), this shuts people up nicely.

Football
 

Little known fact about the Frank Reich mega-comeback -- the Bills failed to sell out Orchard Park that day, so the game was blacked out on local (Toronto) TV. I spent the game listening to the radio in my mom's kitchen, and didn't turn it off, even after Moon threw his umpteenth TD pass. I kept on listening, and by the end I was jumping and screaming around the kitchen, much like my brother and I had done a couple of years previous when Ben Johnson won the 100m at 1:30 a.m one September morning, thus waking up the rest of the house.

Addendum to Not Amused Poll
 

And yet, somehow, it works.

Sorry Thrasher
 

In a rare instance of actually starting, mine was stolen. Deeply satisfying.