I may have to cave on Disney at some point.
 

I put my foot down after one visit to that hellhole. Same goes for any establishment with any combination of the words "kid" "happy" "zone" "place" "fun" and/or "land" in the name. If I want to hang out in a dark, noisy room that smells like puke and beer farts there's always Rocky's.

I may have to cave on Disney at some point.
 

You named your basement?

I may have to cave on Disney at some point.
 

You told me I had to name and incorporate if I wanted to take the business deduction on the wet bar, pool table and vomitorium. Were you shitting me?

I may have to cave on Disney at some point.
 

You listen to legal advice over the Internet? How do you know Wonk's not a hermit living in Montana who's never even seen a tax code?

I may have to cave on Disney at some point.
 

I told you that? I must have been really ripped at the time.

convertibles for parents (xpost w/ post on car board)
 

Hi!

I am thinking of getting a convertible (BMW 325 or 330 or Saab 9-3, the make/model is not necessarily relevant to the question). I have two relatively young children (btw 3-9). My partner and I have another car that is definitely the familymobile (SUV). Is getting a new convertible, with the attendant safety features, a bad idea? Is it too dangerous to have the kids in? Is it irresponsible/selfish? Do any of you all have one with kids? Thoughts.....comments.... appreciated.

anon because I don't want to be known as a bad/irresponsible parent.

convertibles for parents (xpost w/ post on car board)
 

Which do you think is safer: a modern euro-convertable with your kids seatbelted/car seated in, or whatever the hell pre-airbag car you parents schlept you around in as a kid?

convertibles for parents (xpost w/ post on car board)
 

My ex drives a Jeep. He often takes the top off when he's got the Brazenette. I've never worried that she's less safe in that car than in mine.

But I could be considered a bad/irresponsible parent, I suppose.

convertibles for parents (xpost w/ post on car board)
 

I agree, although I am not sure that the standard of "surviving my parent's upbringing" is necessarily the best I can do. Regardless of that comparison, what do you think of the merits of the idea?

convertibles for parents (xpost w/ post on car board)
 

No indictment or other offense was intended. My primary has always had a healthy respect for your skills and talents.

convertibles for parents (xpost w/ post on car board)
 

The problem here is the jeep part, not that he can take off the roof.

convertibles for parents (xpost w/ post on car board)
 

1. I'm sure any of the modern convertibles you're looking at would be plenty safe. And the kids will likely love it. I know mine would, but it makes little sense here in the great PacNW.

2. So instead of being known as a "bad/irresponsible parent," you'll be known as a big pussy? Stoopid use of the anon function. If I gave a fuck, I'd be calling for a public flipping.

Alternative kiddie birthday plans ...
 

I've only been once, and I didn't think it was that horrible - but I was all full of that "I never see my kid running around" latent guilt, so the image of him racing around on a sugar rush was sentimentalized. And, the pizza wasn't nearly as bad as I was expecting, just hilariously overpriced. However, Trepidation Dad considered it a lower circle of hell, so we won't be going back.

Anyway, it always seemed a lot less trouble to me to have kiddie parties at home. You control the munchies, alcohol, quality of the other guests ... why would anyone go to the trouble of arranging something out? Supervising someone else just makes more work. (Or maybe I'm just frustrated with the jr. associates today.)

Which brings me to my question: I am on the cusp of planning Birthday No. 2 for the Trepidation Tyke. Having just received the wonderful and amazing Oriental Trading Company catalog, I am tempted to do a "Tiki-Hut" themed party. Not for the kids' benefit, but for the parents, because we have a great blender and lots of rum (and blenderized fruit drinks should be pretty unobjectionable for the kids, too, whatever the parents' wacky diet ideas). But, the OTC had fun palm tree decorations the kids could yank on and pull down, and inflatable Tiki-horseshoe games, and foam fish sunglasses, and hula skirts, and other miscellaneous beach/tiki type crap that could keep a decent age range well occupied for a few hours without breaking much while the parents get blotto.

Question: I assume that every other parent in the north east also gets the OTC catalog regularly. Will anyone think it is cheesey that I'm getting party ideas from a catalog featuring rubber balls at $3.95/gross? Please note that one of Trepidation Kid's friends' mothers is a professional chef/caterer and editor at Martha Stewart Living. (Then again, she might find "Gummy-Tiki-Heads" a relief, come to think of it.)

Question 2: Can anybody think of a good excuse for me to make jello in my brain-shaped jello mold again? I got the mold for Halloween and it is GREAT. But apple-head/shrunken-head activities might be a bit too disturbing for the wee-ones (or, much worse in my neighborhood, un-PC), and a "but first they PULLED OUT THE BRAIN AND HERE IT IS FOR DESSERT" segue was the only way I could think to bring brain-jello into it.

Question 3: We have no back yard, nor access to anything resembling one. Which makes a Tiki-party sort of strange, but nevermind. However, we do have a fire escape which could be called a "back deck" with a straight face (at least in NYC - there is a real door to it, even). Is it even worth trying to figure out if there is any way to make said fire escape child-safe for the party? I figure anything we do would be illegal, and welding child gates over the stair openings seems like way too much trouble (though I am considering it so I can sit out there in the summer anyhow).

Thanks,
Trep. Ma

Alternative kiddie birthday plans ...
 

Mmmm, alcohol, fire escapes, and kids. A winning combination! I suggest rides in a convertible.

Alternative kiddie birthday plans ...
 

Totally disagree on the having parties at home thing.

I did this last year. The Brazenette objected to just about anyone playing with her toys. The Brazen-hounds found it distressing having all those folks in the house, and even more distressing that they were expected not to eat the nachos right off the coffee table.

This year the party is at a local kids' art museum. There's an arts and crafts project, a face painter, chicken fingers and cake. I do not feel compelled to invite anyone whose child does not play or attend school with the Brazenette. I do not feel compelled to provide any adult beverages or edibles. The party will end promptly at its stated time. I do not have to clean up.

This sounds like perfection to me.

Alternative kiddie birthday plans ...
 

But do they serve boooooze?

Alternative kiddie birthday plans ...
 

In my experience with a couple of birthdays furnished by OTC, the kids love the crap. Their Halloween stuff is also very popular to give out to trick or treaters.

I say go with it and screw the parents.

Leap Pads
 

We finally opened up the one sent by my sister. In short order, I discovered that Leap Pads can be really fun. Using the "letters" one, I found I could make it say all sorts of things.

Y R M T
I M A Q T
U R A P P
Y R U A B M

My level of maturity is now officially lower than that of my toddler. At least he'll probably learn his letters quickly.

Alternative kiddie birthday plans ...
 

Keep it G-rated Balt, that kind of comment may fly on the FB, but we are sensitive here. Lord knows all the pervy babysitter posts upset Hank to no end.

Alternative kiddie birthday plans ...
 

It's not that they upset hiim so much as that it's a condition of his parole that he avoid places where he will be tempted to stray again.

Friend of mine is having a complicated pregnancy: gestational diabetes, high blood pressure that's getting hard to control, and inconclusive ultrasounds about the amount of fluid on the baby's brain. The latter is causing my friend a considerable amount of anxiety.

One of the nurses at the birthing center suggested all of these problems are arising because my friend is having her first baby at the age of 33.

My friend has requested that this nurse not be anywhere near her when she gives birth.

Other than the "first" part, why is this necessarily misguided?

Well, the risks are higher, but the age doesn't cause any of those things to happen. And it's not as if there's anything that can be done about her age.

convertibles for parents (xpost w/ post on car board)
 

before I had #2, I still had my 3 series convertible and #1 loved it! just make sure your kids are hat wearers, or get the ones you can secure under their chins and some 45 sunblock. I am pretty tall and I couldn't fit #2 behind me in her rear facing car seat. I recently looked at the 6 series convertible now that both kids are forward facing and in booster seats, but alas, because I have the longest 3 and 4 year olds in the world, they'd be too squished so i have a wagon, which I love but DH and I both want another convertible, so after his SUV is paid off, i will be lobbying hard for the wind in my hair....

Alternative kiddie birthday plans ...
 

Umm...bad idea. While you may not mind cleaning crap off your walls from your own kids artistic spontaneity, you won't feel so generaous about others kids' artwork, spillage etc...

If I can manage it, we won't ever have parties at home - lol. chuckie Cheese is okay if there is a small number of kids in your group, like 5, but truthfully, my husband does CEC, not me. but there is always bowling, skating, movies, build a bear, gymnastics, etc... And my very favorite - school parties. You bring goody bags and cupcakes and voila!

ml

Good call. I'd also request she not be around for any post delivery needs either. Put it in the birth plan and make sure whoever is there with her will speak for her when she isn't able to....

ml.....(remember thinking it very um...disconcerting that the inability to speak during contractions was when they'd finally listen to you.....)

I thought a pregnancy wasn't considered "risky" until the mother was over 35.

That said, I got very depressed the day I asked my OB's nurse what the giant, red "AMA" on my chart meant. Advanced maternal age, my ass.

It's a continuum. I think 35 is the age at which the risk of down syndrome is greater than the risk of miscarriage from amniocentesis, so that docs are more likely to propose that test.

Then again, I've been known to talk out my ass nearly as much as Sebby.

Umm, Burger. I read this as a no-win discussion for you. I'm going to assume you have not yet procreated, and do not realize that certain there are certain discussions, including anything relating to dealing with medical personnel while pregnant, where the man's role is purely empathetic. Nod, do not speak. If you must speak, repeat after me: "It must be hard."

I post this only so that those men on this board who have yet to procreate can learn from Burger's mistake.

I laughed when I saw my diagnostic code was "elderly primigravida." Then I said to my OB, "I thought over 35 was the new over 25?"

My pregnancy was totally uncomplicated (thank heaven), and the little complication during my delivery had nothing to do with my age. The one benefit of being considered "high risk" was that BCBS would pay for any test - not that I took them up on it.

RT
 

RT --your friend should tell the nurse to suck it. I'm surprised she got that kind of comment from someone at a birthing center. Regardless, she really doesn't need that kind of negativity at this stage.

That age-focused risk assessment can be very self-fulfilling. E.g., I believe the c-s rate goes up with age at a rate that is greater than can be explained by age-related risks that would occur before or during labor and warrant a c-s (such as preeclampsia).

Chuckie
 

Some ketchup:

Congrats, SEC Chick. Gorgeous baby!

Confession: even though I just had my blackberry stolen from there, and even though the place smells like feet, I love going to Chuck E. Cheese. My kid can run around with other kids, I can indulge in the salad bar (I love that it has raisins, though I wish they had crumbled blue cheese), and hang out with other parents. I always end up holding other people's infants, so I get my baby fix too. I love their popsicles, playing skeeball and fussing over which prize to pick with all your "win" tickets at the end of the night. After about 5 minutes, the feet smell becomes unnoticeable -- a phenomenon that disturbs me greatly.

Parties at home: We're lucky to have a September birthday. Weather is always perfect and I use it as an excuse to have a big annual party for friends and family that lasts all day and into the night, too. After the first one, though, I learned that it's enough to just order Pizza and have a cooler with drinks and maybe some nacho chips. I didn't know Oriental Trading Company had theme parties. I usually wait until the week before and then whatever is Vietbabe's obsession (Teletubbies, Dora...) becomes the cake and the plates/hats. I hope this year it is Sponge Bob. I LOVEEEEE that show. The new episodes are awesome. I love Sandy.

Chuckie
 

Just because I wanted to have the top five slots on the webpage.

Chuckie
 

This behavior is frowned upon here.

I think someone needs a time out.

Good morning or whatever.
 

BNB....um....why are you seeing an OB?

I haven't been to CEC since I was 6. He scared the crap out of me. We will be doing home parties or maybe going to the park or other low key places.

Good morning or whatever.
 

I am not. But I was. When I was pregnant with the Brazenette.

No more OBs for me. Ever. I am finished.

That's what I thought...just checking.

I am doing some legal work for my OB...I asked if I got a discount on the next kid if I cut him a deal on the fees. He wasn't amused.

Who is next in line for a kid?

sebby's wife has been pregnant for 36 months now, so I think she only has a few months left before sebby jr or the sebbette arrives.

I think she'll be producing Alex de Little.

Erudite parents
 

Woman: Well, everybody poops.
Man: That's the title of a book.
Woman: I know. I was making a literary reference.

--Bowlmor Lanes, University Place

Overheard in New York