why is tina so fabulous?
 

She does that every time (and he's noticed). It's cuz she's classy. Whereas the other, unclassy, girls go full bore and don't turn away.

Tina Fabulous seems more like the type of person to have a college, or maybe grad school, kind of relationship with. Lots of fun, but no future in it. Of course, they all seem that way on this show, despite their visions of his being the "father of their children" (read mucho alimony guy). And that's what he seems most interested in anyway.

The Bachelor
 

Actually, I find her far more interesting than someone who thinks they deserve special treatment because their dad or grandpa or whatever made a lot of money. Tina thinks she deserves special treatment because she is herself. I think Andrew prefers someone who would throw a perfect spiral in stilletos than someone who wouldn't lower themselves to act like the unmonied. The Paris Hiltons of the world are boring and obnoxious as hell.

why is tina so fabulous?
 

I don't know. I think following the Rules is a classy act. Definitely the way to land a classy guy like ANdrew. She might give him a kiss after a proper third date but never before. And its pretty unclassy of him to expect as much from her.

And if Mister Firestone marries any of these outclassed C-list reality hos, I will eat MR's ass.

The Bachelor
 

Interestingly, this lovely lady describes herself with 2 of the same adjectives as Tina P. I guess that means she's out too.

Tiffany

How lame are all the answers that each of these chicks gives about why they want to get married now? It would have been refreshing to have at least one of them say, "Well, I wanted to get on TV, and you guys picked me!" or something even remotely honest. I don't think any one of them is over 26 years old, yet they're all "tired of going out". HUH?!?! I was just hitting my stride at 26!

Even more curious, can someone explain why it is this dude needs to meet a bubblehead on national tv? I read the article in the NYT someone mentioned earlier (the one that describes the "chain restaurant" incident), and it describes him as "handsome, clever and rich." So what's his M.O.? Fame? Does anyone think he will actually marry the "winner"?

He kind of reminds me of that guy who was the main character on Northern Exposure.

The Bachelor
 

This is a bunch of bunk. I agree that using the term classy isn't, but come on. Why exactly would she never fit into "his world"? Because her last name doesn't have brand recognition? What is "his world" anyway? Being condescending to the "little people" is more obnoxious posturing than using the term "classy."

Poll -- does your spouse/SO/ISO know about the FB?
 

Nope. But he may read it himself - I don't know. I know several of his friends that at least read and I assume that they would report back anything especially juicy to him (esp. since anyone who knows me IRL would have been able to figure me out by now.)

-T(maternity clothes way too big, but pants....toooooo....tight...ughhh....)L :eek:

Secondary poll: list 3 adjectives that best describe you.
 

The same sort of people who would describe themselves as "elegant," or "refined," or "sucessful." Or "ambitious." Or "intelligent" (though, if one really is intelligent it might be fair to offer that as a warning rather than an enticement; I note that one of the women can't count to three).

But the problem is the question, really. It invites bragging, which is always unattractive and socially unacceptable. There's not really any good answer, though one might hope to avoid the more obvious trigger words in the class wars.

BR(Eccentric, over-educated, and mellow)S

The Bachelor
 

My dear Genius Known as Abbakiss

You know those movies, like Trading Places and Pretty Woman, where the spunky and funny poor person is thrust into the world of the richies and it all works out in the end bc one of the richies has risen above the superficial thing called class? They call those Fish Out Of Water movies and they are all fairy tales. But, lets say that Andrew was abovie it all, and he really was looking for a wife on this show, the fact that someone's listed hobby is watching a football team does not bode well for how interesting they are. Sure I love the Yankees but if you saw my bio oon there, I would hopefully have actually hobbies and interests to put up there besides passively watching a sports team. You know, things like text messaging for Ruben on AI. Active stuff like that.

And while I agree that Ms Hilton is obnoxious, I am not sure she is boring. Partying and jetsetting is a more interesting hobby than watching the packers bc at least she is dong and probably has great stories (if she can remember them). ANd she certainly isnt classy.

The Bachelor
 

Sounds like Tina the Classy *would* fit in his world from this description.

why is tina so fabulous?
 

If you listen closely, you can almost hear the door being barricaded now.

Poll: are any of these women fabulous?
 

I'm just wondering what the guys of the FB think of these Bachelor girls. Personally I have found none of the Bachelors to be even marginally attractive, and as for the guys on the Bachelorette, there were a couple of cuties but none of the guys in her top group blew my skirt up.

I've noticed that Mr. Firestone's bachelorettes have complexions that aren't as smooth as they ought to be for women of their purported ages. OTOH, perhaps they've gotten too much sun, because there's not a lot of the emotional depth that you might expect from women who have earned their little laugh lines (however slight they may be, just put some kinetin on them and the makup won't cake up so much, dear).

The Bachelor
 

I would guess his MO is twofold. One, he has a JFK JR bored with the entitled life thing going on. Everything ishanded to him on a silver platter so he wants to do something different to spice things up (go on a trash tv show, fuck around with a bunch of hos, not get married). Two, perhaps he wants to amuse his buddies on the golf course or piss off his family?

The Bachelor
 

I think he likes to practice his "smell the fart" acting technique. During the rose ceremony last night he definitely closed his eyes halfway and flared his nostrils as he pondered the lovelies.

The Bachelor
 

I don't watch the show, but I clicked on the bios. One of them didn't list an occupation (SV lawyer?) and another lists 3 jobs (real estate sales, nanny and fitness model). On the place where it says to list 3 adjectives that describe you, one of them wrote 4 things down. Another one wrote "opportunistic"--thinking it sounds like positive quality.

Verdict:

None of these women is THAT attractive, one of them can't count to three and the another two probably don't know where next month's rent is coming from. One of them needs a thesauraus, and they all say they want to get married to someone they never met before which makes them emotional cripples.

Why do you people watch this?

What is wrong with this guy? Why does a millionaire need to go on national television to get a girl unless he has serious issues himself. Heroin addiction, domestic violence, closet gay etc.

The Bachelor
 

I find some of them just heartbreaking, actually. Like Stephanie, the "ambitious, charisthmatic, articulate, and competitive" waitress who can't count, but who says "I want somebody to share my life with so it is not so dull." Jesus, how sad it is to have a life so "dull" that you want to marry a random stranger to change it? Or the classy Tina, who says "It has now become a priority in my life" at the alleged age of 22?

The Bachelor
 

I thought that was sad as well. Disturbingly honest, as well (NTTAWWT). It made me want to give her a good shake.

The Bachelor
 

If I had to answer that questionairre, I would say that I don;t want to spend the rest of my life working my ass off for someone else, plus I have always wanted to live on a vineyard. He's hot so I could probably learn to love him if he is fun and not stupid. Plus, how bad could being an heiress be?

As for the adjectives I woudl describe myself with I would say "misunderstood by the underintelligent, well-traveled and more liberated than an Iraqi.

The Bachelor
 

I confess, I can't bring myself to sit down and watch any of these reality shows. I did check out the link and read the bios, and the answers are lame. They all sound so pathetic. I feel sorry for people who base their self-worth on the status of their love-life. single = worthless is just not true. Nor does married necessarily = happiness. Just ask my wife-shopping former roommate who is now miserable in his relationship with the woman from hell.

p.s. Still single (for the time being) and proud.

The Bachelor
 

Are these the adjectives you would use to describe yourself?

The Bachelor
 

Not "still". Mr. Elk-to-be can't keep up, even though he is younger.

Poll -- does your spouse/SO/ISO know about the FB?
 

Mrs. Wonk not only knows about it, but she has occassionally chatted with some of my imaginary friends. The trade-off is that I don't get on her case about all the message boards she is involved with.

I don't tell her about all the FBers I've banged though. that would be declasse

Poll -- does your spouse/SO/ISO know about the FB?
 

You must be feeling better. You're getting the old form back. :)

Poll -- does your spouse/SO/ISO know about the FB?
 

Yes. On the occasions I'm bored enough to check them from home, she's sometimes reads them my shoulder. I try to stay on LWK when this happens. I lied and said the FB has "one or two" perverts who insist on talking about sex when we really just want to talk about shoes.

Sadly, one of the times she was reading over my shoulder, she saw the post in which someone asked "isn't Mrs. Grinch giving you any?" Talk about bad timing.

I sometimes mention particularly funny posts to her. BTW, she thought "Once Hugo Black" was moderately funny, even though she didn't know who Hugo Black was.

Poll -- does your spouse/SO/ISO know about the FB?
 

I remember this and confess that I don't understand why this was a problem. I mean, it's not like you were bitching about the fact that she never gives you any; someone was just teasing. Did it hit a sore spot, is your wife lacking a sense of humor, or what?

Poll -- does your spouse/SO/ISO know about the FB?
 

She understood it was teasing, and didn't take it as a slight against her. She was just taken aback that our sex life would be a topic of jest among strangers in the first place, and might have been slightly suspicious that I had interjected our sex life into board discussions. I explained the larger context that the joke had been made precisely because it was a sudden departure from the typical AG character, such as it is. But it wasn't a problem beyond momentary awkwardness.

We're pretty old fashioned, and don't hang out with people who regularly josh each other about sex quality or quantity except in the impersonal or abstract. We don't run with a "Whassamatter, the little lady not performing her wifely duties? Har-har-har" crowd.

On the other hand, we regularly talk about genital self-discovery with our priest. Go figure.

Poll -- does your spouse/SO/ISO know about the FB?
 

Oh great, more fodder for the Catholic-bashers. ;)

Poll -- does your spouse/SO/ISO know about the FB?
 

Dreams don't count as cheating, wonk.

Poll -- does your spouse/SO/ISO know about the FB?
 

There are some situations for which the resulting explanations can, at the very best, bring you back to even, or, at the very worst, answer the question of "are you getting any" all by themselves, negatively, but they can never really foster a true improvement in your life. I suspect that was one of those.

Five's Alive?
 

I occassionally share odd sites that I have visited. Well, I recently signed up for the "Top5" newsletter, which is modeled after the Washington Post's Style Invitational (i.e., the site poses a question, people email their entries, the site selects and posts the "winners"). In fact, many of the Style winners actively participate in the Top5 contests.

What follows is yesterday's question, and the top 18 entries.

The Top 18 Signs It's Time for Your Rock Band to Retire

18. No longer able to "Rock and Roll All Night" without an entire case of Viagra.

17. Ever since Strom left the band for a career in politics, the sound just hasn't been the same.

16. Your lead guitarist switches to Heroin P.M. so that those after-concert parties don't keep him awake all night.

15. You're still considered a hair band, but now it's because of your ears and noses.

14. Instead of saying "Good night, Cleveland!" at the end of your set, you scream, "Honey! It's time for my sponge bath!"

13. "I'm sorry, Mr. Hanson, but it seems you've hit puberty."

12. Then: You freaked out on-stage because of the drugs you took.
Now: You freak out on-stage because of the drugs you *forgot* to take.

11. "Shooting up" didn't used to involve an enema.

10. Old band logo: picture of giant red lips.
Current band logo: picture of giant sagging man-boobs.

9. Biting the head off a bat now requires corporate sponsorship from Super Poly-Grip.

8. The only people making bootleg tapes at your concerts are from the Smithsonian.

7. Your songs are blocked from Napster -- not by your record company's request, but because they suck.

6. Then: You instructed security to screen the crowd for sweet young things willing to put out for the band.
Now: You instruct security to screen the crowd for sweet young things who are willing to to pre-chew all those green M&M's for the band.

5. You stop outdoor concerts to take a garden hose to the young hooligans who won't get off the lawn.

4. The band refuses to make a video because they're convinced that the cameras will steal their souls.

3. Bad: Your groupies drag their oxygen tanks to the stage to admire your alligator-skin pants.
Worse: You forgot to put on any pants.

2. [reminding me of the FB thread on a similar topic] Nowadays when your fans throw their panties on stage, it looks like the Fifth Airborne parachuting into Normandy.

and the Number 1 Sign It's Time for Your Rock Band to Retire...

1. The hot babe in the first row just lifted her skirt -- to show you her breasts.

The site's address, appropriately enough, is http://www.topfive.com

(edited to corect shatty speling)

Poll -- does your spouse/SO/ISO know about the FB?
 

So would be it be fair to say that your wife doesn't have a sense of humor? :P

Poll -- does your spouse/SO/ISO know about the FB?
 

Oh, she laughs all the time.

Well, okay, not ALL the time - mostly just when we're in bed together.

(And I'm starting to take it personally.)

Poll -- does your spouse/SO/ISO know about the FB?
 

Mr. PJ knows and thinks it's rather nuts, or sad. I told him if he wanted to dish celebrity whore gossip and assorted other lurid trash with me I'd be glad to, but then he showed not the slightest interest in discussing whether, given the pink Pepto-Bismol dress and her photo in the latest People Magazine, Christina Aguilera's been snarfing one too many Cheetos lately or is simply knocked up (and by whom).

Not even the revelation that Elvis Presley's daughter claims to have actually had genuine sex with Michael Jackson moved him spiritually. Unbelievable.

PJ

There's just no turning away, is there?
 

You're watching the MJ's home movies on TV tonight. Admit it.
You can't help yourself.

Edited to add:

Two hour show. Fox - 8:00 E/7:00 C/8:00 P

(For all ya freakwatchers).

Poll -- does your spouse/SO/ISO know about the FB?
 

Sensitive Guy knows. He benefits from the bits of info that I pass on to him from this source, so he doesn't mind. Like spookyfish, I don't actually know anyone here, so he just sees it as a good source for wacky tidbits. He has his own boards that he views (related to music and software and such).

n(how is that NJ chick still around on the Bachelor? missed it again last night so I don't know if she has exhibited any redeeming qualities to date)cs

Hockey is dangerous, even for Canadians!
 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...2003Apr24.html

(spree: Alan Thicke hit in the face with a puck)

Poll -- does your spouse/SO/ISO know about the FB?
 

Bitch.

:whip:

Poll -- does your spouse/SO/ISO know about the FB?
 

What kind of beneficial info? The proper tux, how a suit should fit, or how to give a good BJ?

My SO knows and cannot fathom how I have so much time to waste, er, spend on the Board. He also does not understand why I thrash about in my sleep, alternately grinding my teeth and calling out "settle down Francis!"

rp

P.S. I don't think he'd approve of my sending a pic of my pups for breasticle day redux, but like Anne says, a girl's gotta have some secrets.

There's just no turning away, is there?
 

I am not, goddamn it.

I think that's the stuff I already watched last week.

p(and frankly, the sight of Michael getting kissed on the lips by a fan scared the hell out of me--I was afraid they were fake like his nose is and they'd just fall right off like those wax Halloween lips...)j

There's just no turning away, is there?
 

Come on , the man is not that freaky. In fact this show will probably be boring. I don't know why MJ feels he needs to show us how normal and compassionate he is.

OF course, I am pregnant with my first daughter who I plan to name Princess Paigow Princess I. But thats just me.

edited to indicate that Princess Paigow PRincess is "the First"

Poll -- does your spouse/SO/ISO know about the FB?
 

Caveat for the Catholic-bashers: She's not a Catholic priest. And the genital self-discovery is not penile in nature.