You suck.
 

I ooze dignity. I reek of it.

You suck.
 

I was thinking "levee," but whatever.

You suck.
 

I will let you do this, but only because you are 6'4" on the internet and such a dignified recipient of unsolicited fellatio. However, I will have to meet you later on because I have parent-teacher conferences tonight.

You suck.
 

I have this theory that flying home early Monday morning is less of an intrusion on the weekend than flying late Sunday night. The theory works well on paper, but I usually have to explain the basic principles again to balt while we're racing to the airport at some ungodly hour of the morning on Monday and he's asking me why on earth we do this to ourselves, having had little or no sleep because [redacted for sensitive readers like Thurgreed].

Anyhow, on Tuesday's 6:15 am flight, which was even earlier than the usual unholy early flight that I take, I was nestled into my towards-the-back Southwest Airlines window seat, secure with the knowledge that my carry-on stuff fit in all the relative compartments, my checked bag had actually made it on the plane, and I could sleep all the way home. That was before the woman in front of me sat down. And way before the man in the aisle seat in her row sat down.

Because when he sat down, they started talking. And talking. And talking. And then the plane took off, and boy were they fascinating to one another. And he was waaaaaaay on the aisle seat, and she was waaaaaay on the window seat, and the engine was roaring, so of course they had to talk loudly to one another to ensure that neither missed one fascinating word that the other had to say. And hers was an annoying, annoying accented voice that grated on every single nerve that I possessed. And a half-hour into the flight, when I couldn't take it anymore, and I pulled out my iPod to drown out her voice, and maybe, possibly, go to sleep, even though the iPod was still at its highest volume, I could still hear her irritating, irritating voice, coyly flirting with the consultant next to her.

When we landed, she looked around at all the people glaring at her, and then waved at some poor guy six or seven rows back. "Oooh, look there's my colleague! Hi Kevin! I didn't see you get on the plane." Kevin pretended not to know her, so she persisted on waving and yelling.

Of course, consultant guy had to help her with her baggage, and they delayed the getting-off-the-plane process by another thirty seconds, further irritating me and everyone else behind them.

Unfortunartely, thanks to her endless chatter, I wasn't at my most alert so I missed my opportunity to accidently swing my briefcase into her face as I brought it out from the overhead compartment.

So ABBA, when you show him the pictures of your kids, move to the goddamned seat next to him.

Kiper on Young
 

(I hate Kiper, but I can't argue with him here.)

"What are the negatives about Vince Young?
He has an unorthodox delivery. You don't know if he can drop back with a five- or seven-step drop, plant his foot and throw the ball because Young doesn't have to do that at Texas. He has all day to throw and when he is pressured, he can slide side to side. With Leinart we know about his drop-back passing skills, but we're not sure if Young can be precise, accurate and make the right reads and decisions.


With that said, he has a quick release and stronger arm than Leinart. He's the next Michael Vick running with the football. His decision-making improved greatly this year and I thought he made only one questionable throw in the Rose Bowl.


Any questions that were out there about Young have been put on the back burner because he was so spectacular against USC. He was calm, cool and poised.


Assuming he turns pro, where was Vince Young in the draft process before the Rose Bowl and where is he now?
Before the game, Young would have been anywhere from third to seventh and now he is possibly No. 1. If Young comes out, he will now be one of the top three picks, more likely No. 2 and maybe the first pick in the draft.


Assuming he comes out, Young made himself a lot of money with his performance in the Rose Bowl."

And here's Mortensen, who I respect a helluva lot more (granted, he's quoting others):

'What a tremendous game played Wednesday night between the Texas Longhorns and USC Trojans.

As much as it was a dream game for fans, it was a dream game for NFL personnel men.

And after checking in with a few of them who carry some pretty impressive credentials, you may be surprised that a great performance by Texas quarterback Vince Young does not necessarily leave NFL teams drooling over his eventual arrival into the NFL. The same goes for USC quarterback Matt Leinart.

Samplings:

• "I'd still take Leinart over Young as an NFL quarterback, but Leinart is not a franchise guy in the traditional sense. He's not John Elway, Dan Marino, Peyton Manning or Carson Palmer. Now, really, there aren't a lot of those guys anyway. Alex Smith sure wasn't. When [Texas] blanketed the USC receivers, especially early in the game, you got a glimpse of what the NFL is like. The windows are a lot tighter. Leinart struggled with those. But give the USC coaches credit -- they adjusted and managed to put up, what, over 500 yards against a pretty talented Texas defense?"


• "Young is a great competitor, that's the thing you have to like about him. But be careful about his athleticism. It's a great attribute but he doesn't have Michael Vick's suddenness. He's got real good speed, but it's not world-class speed, and you see what eventually happens to the guys in this league -- they get beat up and they slow down. He is strong for a fairly lean guy. And you have to like his size. But if you do the film cut-ups on just his throws from last night's game, you're going to be fairly unimpressed."

• "Leinart's clearly a bright guy. He's got better feet than most people talk about. His arm strength is average. He doesn't throw as many pure spirals as you would like. But he's a big guy, he's played a lot of football in a pro-style offense and he's had a lot of success. He's not going to carry a franchise on his back, but if you put talent around him, he's going to be a good quarterback in the NFL. And let's face it, we need more good quarterbacks."

• "If Young's performance did anything, it made a case that he should have won the Heisman, not [Reggie] Bush. But that was splitting hairs. That's not a very good USC defense he faced -- didn't Fresno State put up 40 on them? What I like about Young is that he's gotten better every year as far as throwing the football. He does spin it a lot better than he did before. Arm strength, like Leinart, pretty marginal. He won't have the same success running the ball in the NFL, not even close. But he's a leader, he'll generate some excitement, and then he'll get ripped [by the media and fans] when he doesn't dazzle in the NFL like people think. Still, if I were him, I'd probably come out. He needs a lot of work and he might as well start getting it now."

As for Bush, he still projects as the probable No. 1 pick in April's draft by the Houston Texans.

"He still did enough Superman stunts to make you say, 'Wow,'" said one personnel man. "There aren't many players who make you go, 'Wow,' so he's got tremendous value to a team. Maybe he's not a 4.2 guy [in the 40] but he's got plenty of juice."

Now, USC running back LenDale White had all these guys pretty excited.

"That's an NFL back," said one scout. "He's 220 pounds-plus and he will be a big-timer in our league. He won't dazzle, but he's the type of guy with the right team who can win a rushing title and score a lot of touchdowns."'

TM

You suck.
 

you should consider a purchase of some of the in-ear noise reducing headphones that are quite popular in my household. I know they've been discussed on the technology boards. All frequent travellers should have a pair. You wouldn't have heard her over your iPod.

And, yes, people like that are truly annoying.

You suck.
 

ABBA is not a person like that. Katie is, but ABBA is not. Also, ABBA lacks an accent and flies first class and usually passes out halfway to her destination from all the free cocktails.

In addition, ABBA would never flirt with a consultant because, as a consultant, he has a job, which is a turnoff for ABBA. Conversely, Katie would flirt with a consultant. Loudly.

You suck.
 

I prefer opening my laptop and watching "Alive."

You suck.
 

What did balt get for his tattoo?

You suck.
 

I need an annoying alter ego. Maybe I'll call him "Hank".

You suck.
 

You could call him "Captain's Id."

You suck.
 

This is like when you and Balt go back and forth with the "Schmoopie! No! You're Schmoopie!" crap.

TM

You suck.
 

I was on a plane a few weeks back, reading a magazine and listening to my Ipod when a woman across the aisle started waiving at me. I turned off the Ipod, pulled out the earphones and smiled.

"Is that an Ipod?" she said.

- - - - - - - -

Two days ago a man came up to me in the subways catacombs below Philly and said "Can you tell me how to get to 12th and Market?"

I looked around, figured out where I was and, pointing, said "That tunnel will take you to 13th and Market."

He said "Yeh, but I need 12th and Market."

I didn't know what to say, so I just turned and walked away.

You suck.
 

I think it's kinda cute.

You suck.
 

Diamond Mine. 7260.

I'm spent.

The Board
 

I'm amused by the board today. Well done all.

TM, I agree with everything that Mort says. In fact, it's what I meant to post after the Rose Bowl, only I didn't say it as explicitly (but if you go back and read my posts, I think you'll see that's where I was going, especially about Len'Dale -- my and Snoop's favorite player).

ABBA: When's Katie coming to LA? Word on the street is that I'm just her type.

You suck.
 

GWNC: Is there a certain song running through your head, like it is mine?

You suck.
 

This was the absolute PERFECT response. Kudos.

Dudes in the League
 

So, in an effort to redeem my Jason Gore and Rose Bowl humiliations, let me briefly give my picks:

Tampa Bay -2.5 (1 star pick)
New England -7.5 (4 star pick)
NYG -2.5 (5 star pick)
Cinci +3 (3 star pick)

I love the Giants in this spot, but would love to hear from the board's resident G-men fan on how she feels about her squad's chances?

The Board
 

Probably after midterms are graded. Wait -- do kindergarteners have midterms? Maybe after snack time? See, this is why I can't pull my Captain Id off.

Heheheh. Pull Captain Id off. Unsolicited handjobs! I feel like sunny.

You suck.
 

And you two are workin' my last good nerve.

TM

You suck.
 

It's not my fault. I thought slave had retired.

Dudes in the League
 

I never feel confident about their chances. As soon as I start to feel confident, they'll fuck something up. This is the life of a Giants fan. They are pretty hot and cold this season. And Eli is not a strong enough quarterback yet to bring them back consistently if they get down (though he had some good games in the early-mid part of the season).

The only thing that makes me feel slightly less neurotic is the fact that an even more angst-ridden Giants fan will be watching the game with me on Sunday. We couldn't fly to the playoff game to watch it live because the only time we saw them live this year, they were spanked by San Diego. We must watch the game somewhere that we have a better viewing record, I have been told.

You suck.
 

Ahem. Some people thing of you as the annoying alter ego.

You suck.
 

oh, baby, you try.

Group Therapy
 

I am.

Is RT talking about herself again? And NCS? And Muffin?

You suck.
 

Schmoopie!

Group Therapy
 

Careful. Thurgreed is mad at us. Schmoopie.

PSA
 

For those of you who can't, or don't want to, access various IMs at work, and who find the providers' "web-based" versions of their IM to suck, read below.

By happy happenstance, I just met with the CEO of a new startup called meebo. (See www.meebo.com.) It's a new implementation which allows you to access up to 4 different IMs simultaneously, using only a web-browser.

It's not dependent on Java the way the other "web based" solutions are, so you don't have to have a Java VM installed. It's perfect if you, like me, can't download IMs onto work computers. FWIW, they don't collect logs of user traffic, etc. It's in alpha now, and it's free. Tried it a few minutes ago, and it seems to work quite well.

Check it out.

Your friendly technology correspondent,
Gattigap

Marcus Vick kicked off of Virginia Tech football team.

ETA: Video of his leg stomping

PSA
 

That's very cool.

Of course it begs the question begged by so many cool start-ups in 1999... how exactly do they intend to make money?

Str8, what are the odds he'll be drafted by Philadelphia?

PSA
 

Economies of scale.

Raiders.

BTW, Wikipedia is amazingly quick at updating.

They could use a photogenic copyeditor, though.

• Due to his past conduct he will probley get another job with his name on his shirt(fastfood).

PSA
 

Ads. (Doesn't everyone?)

And licensing to corporate folks who want to use the technology incorporated into their own website. etc., etc.

They're still quite young, so who knows? It could blow up in 6 months. But it works for now, and I'm impressed, primarily because I can't download shit onto my firm's computer.

PSA
 

1) How does Google have a market cap over $130b? Are they selling (or will they be able to) sell that much advertising? I don't recall ever clicking through to an advertised link to purchase something.

2) Don't companies who want to use IM internally buy the actual software along with a server to run internally, to prevent security problems?

Or he could marry a pop singer.

Federline's latest: http://media.putfile.com/Kevin_Federline_-_Popozao

It's crap, but no worse than most of the crap out right now.

TM

PSA
 

1) Google is all about placement. Even if you don't click on an advertised link, Google makes money if you click on the first link. Less money if you click on the seconf link. And so on.

Still $130b seems excessive. But good for my pal who works there and got her options at like $4.