The French are Re-Sizing Their Clothes!
 

Having gained a repulsive 4 pounds and gotten taller in the last generation, French are conceding defeat and resizing their clothes to reflect reality:

http://www.nytimes.com/2003/04/25/in...pe/25BODY.html

Good Lord. If they do that here to take Americans' Dorito asses into account, we'll all be fitted with shapeless sacks.:eek:

Understatement of the Day
 

Is hell freezing over? Has anyone checked? I know I'm still wearing my winter coat. Last week there was a picture in the paper of a pig flying, the MJ home videos, the Mighty Ducks are 5-0 in the playoffs, OJ gets talk show and wants to work the Blake trial, Madonna is helping to launch the singing career of Osama Bin Laden's niece, the 90210 reunion? Oh My God!

90210 reunion
 

Wait, how is Ray Pruitt going to push Donna down the stairs if she doesn't show up?

Ray: "DONNNNA!" (my favorite 90210 line of all time)

Push her Ray. Push her hard.

Ray is my second favorite 90210 character. First, of course, is Dylan. Everyone else just needed to leave him, his millions and his drinking/drug habit alone. God that guy was cool.

90210 reunion
 

Don't forget his bitchin sideburns . . .

I remember being a first-year in college and going to a local bookstore and seeing all of this 90210 swag and being completely baffled.

Now, Melrose, we watched religiously in law school. Between that and my local expansion basketball team, I watched a lot of horribly bad tv when I was drinking and oh, yeah, studying.

90210 reunion
 

I miss Melrose, esp those sudden alcoholic benders Alison would go into. So true to life. I would trade any reality show on tv now for Melrose at its peak.

90210 reunion
 

Damn that Dr. Mancini! He's so evil.

Melrose petition
 

There is a petition to get Melrose out on DVD. What I wouldnt do for seasons two through four or five (until Brooke died- thats when it jumped the shark, right?)http://www.petitiononline.com/angie/petition.html

Strike up the band, blow up the balloons and throw the confetti- its my own personal two hundreth post!

Real Cancun
 

OK, reality TV junkies, anyone planning on seeing this on the big screen?

http://entimg.msn.com/i/150/mo/mo3/r...un_150x225.jpg

http://www.therealcancun.com/?source=overture

Schadenfreudapalooza
 

Why would anyone be surprised? What movie has Mr. Burns been involved with that has any redeeming qualities whatsoever, aside from Saving Private Ryan?

The simple fact is that Brothers McMullen is just about the dumbest, most self-indulgent piece of dogshit to have ever received modest critical acclaim. I remember little of the movie other than that after it ended I staggered out of the theater ready to kill myself and everyone else, lest they inadvertently watch some of this movie. Thank you Mr. Burns, Producer/Writer/Director of the Brothers Mcdogshit. I hope he dies soon. Only he prevents Mr. Good Morning Miami doofus from being first against the wall when the revolution comes.

str8

Real Cancun
 

I am nearly certain I will not see this on the big screen (since I never see anything on the big screen), but I am consistently disturbed by the image from the trailer of the paunchy man in the red speedo exiting a building of some sort. Yikes.

Sarah from Joe$$$ Naked
 

Is there a good reason why someone hasn't posted a link to any of these photos? I looked, but my google-foo ain't so good.

TM

White Stripes
 

I'm not sure if any of the music junkies are here today but I've been listening to the new White Stripes for a few weeks now. It is amusing, no doubt, but hardly earth shatteringly good. What's all the fuss about? Is it just the dearth of music that hasn't been American Idolized or hip hopped? (Distressed that Lucinda Williams makes a lame attempt at a rap poetry thing on her latest.)

new music
 

The White Stripes, the Vines, etc. are all fun to listen to but they sound exactly like early 60s Kinks to me.

Maybe they're popular because they wear the same wacky little skinny pants and shaggy haircuts that the Monkees wore every show?

p(style over substance, but you can't fault style especially on this board)j

Now that's talent!
 

"German government minister now a champion beer drinker
Secret is 'to push your uvula back,' he says

By Reuters, 4/25/03


BERLIN -- Germany's "super minister" Wolfgang Clement showed off an unusual talent by winning a beer-drinking contest, downing a glass of Koelsch beer in 1.5 seconds, Bild newspaper reported Friday.

Clement, in charge of the Economy and Labour ministries, performed the speed-drinking in front of journalists and guests at a German beer brewers association ceremony in Cologne marking the 487th anniversary of the German Beer Purity Law on Thursday.

"I'll down a 0.2 liter (about half a pint) glass of Koelsch faster than all of you can drink a schnapps," Clement said. His trick: "You have to push your uvula back, then the beer flows direct down your throat. You can't enjoy the taste, but it gets there fast."

Clement was named "German Beer Ambassador" by the association, which is trying to promote the country's most famous beverage that has been suffering from declining sales. "


I didn't know you could "push your uvula."

Now that's talent!
 

Actually, I vaguely recall a Saturday Night Live skit with Gilda Radner and maybe Dan Ayckroyd talking excitedly about uvulas. Perhaps a national uvula society pitch?

Either way, it still sounds slightly obscene.

pj

White Stripes
 

Well if you've been listening to the album and you don't see what the fuss is all about, then you just don't see it, I guess. What I'm drawn to is the stripped-down intensity of the music, the power of Jack's (and Meg and Holly's) voice, and the great great great song-writing. Also fusing blues (or "neo-blues") with modern rock is something that's kind of a kick.

Comparing anybody to the Kinks is pretty fucking flattering. That said, I don't think it does the White Stripes justice. The Vines, now that I can see, and I think it's a good observation.

I'll post my review of the White Stripes (and RHCP, and Beastie Boys, and Iggy and the Stoogers, and N.E.R.D., and the Donnas, and The Hives, and the Liks, and Jack Johnson, and Blur, and Ben Harper, and Sonic Youth, and G-Love and Special Sauce, and everyone else) on Monday.

Schadenfreudapalooza
 

You are my SP. "Dogshit" is too kind, because at least dogshit is the creative product of something capable of genuine emotion. The entire movie looked cheap, which I suppose gives it indy cred, but only when you've got a worthwhile story to tell. Or genuinely talented actors.

My disgust for that movie was unequalled until I saw Quills.

White Stripes
 

Don't get me wrong, I like the album. The lyrics are cute, the licks kicky but the same could be said of my namesake, Sparklehorse. In fact, I think he does more innovative stuff but certainly is not getting the same kind of attention.

Look forward to your reviews!

new music
 

Oh, for shame, for shame....

"exactly like early 60s Kinks"? Oh my, how sacriligeous. The Vines are crap and closer to Nirvana than anything resembling English freakbeat. I hereby sentence thee to 48 hours of Nuggets and Nuggets II boxsets, nonstop.

But for some *good* new rock'n'roll that, yes, does go back to seriously old school, check out the following:

The Greenhornes - "Dual Mono" (prod. by former Afghan Whig John Curley)
The Agenda - "Start the Panic"
The New Pornographers - "Electric Version" (I'm cheating here, it doesn't come out until May 6th, but the first track is killer pop)
The Coral - self-titled

I'd drop in a URL to my own band, but wouldn't that be rather outable? But we're somewhere between The Sundays, The Cardigans, and Velocity Girl.

By gawd, I'll give up this dayjob somehow.
:D

White Stripes
 

dude, G.Love is so 1992. How bout some spin doctors while you are at it?

White Stripes
 

I'm all for the Donnas. They may not be all that polished, but they're fun, and they can say like a guy band that they just want to get laid without having to Lil' Kim pimp-and-whore themselves over it.

White Stripes
 

The thing about The Donnas is that their style has changed quite a bit since the early teen days. Good, bad, or indifferent, it's a matter of taste. Their first album is total chick Ramones style. Nowdays, while the lyrics are still in the same vein, musically they seem much more attuned to Joan Jett post-Runaways, or maybe Poison-lite without the masturbatory solos....just not my bag anymore.

Sahara Hotnights, on the other hand.....boy howdy.

But hey, it's all rock and roll, right?
:band:

"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side." - Hunter S. Thompson

White Stripes
 

Did anybody ever actually like the Spin Doctors? Though I was never a great fan of Phish, Blues Traveler, et al., I never understood how Spin Doctors were regularly mentioned in the same articles with those bands circa '92. I knew/know people who were into Blues Traveler, Phish, dmb, etc. Never known anybody to be a Spin Doctors fan.

Schadenfreudapalooza
 

I think you are my SP too. I don't know why people like that movie. There was one good scene in the whole movie. the whole movie. The monologue about the banana and "your cock in her cornflakes" was funny, but nothing else was funny or insightful. He thinks he can write dialogue--like Tarrantino, but without the blood. But he is horrible. His second movie, with Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Anniston, sucked too. It confirmed what I knew all along: The Brothers McMullen did not suck b/c it was low budget, it sucked b/c the writing, acting, and directing sucked. Way to go, Burns.

Coachella
 

Maybe it's because G. Love and Special Sauce (and all those other bands) are playing at the Coachella Arts & Music Festival this weekend, and Spin Doctors are not. So I'll be unable to provide my useless insights about those Pocket-Full-Of-Kryptonite Assjacks.

I am no man's SP, Atticus, but I did get a bang out of reading the mostly bearish reviews of Brothers Mac. on IMDB.com. Some Swedish guy has a hard-on for the movie but everyone else seems to agree with us. Die Ed Burns Die.

And upon the news that there's a New Pornographers' Album coming out, my immediate reaction was the Elaine-Benes "GET OUT!" I am so freaking excited by this, you have no idea.

str8.

White Stripes
 

I liked their early stuff, too.

I have been listening to some Texas indy stuff, and I am surprised by the extent of hip-hop influence in idiom and motif.

Is it the same in other indy markets?

Even(everything is hip-hop)Odds

White Stripes
 

A friend of mine was/is a Spin Doctors fan. He also married a Miss [enter name of southern state here], if that means anything.

My sister had an obsessive hatred of the Spin Doctors. I remember Labatts was sponsoring a contest to go on a cruise (with 500 of your closest friends) and the Spin Doctors. She entered a million times because she wanted to win and go on the cruise in order to kill the Spin Doctors. (she actually does humanitarian work in developing countries now, so her free-floating aggression has abated somewhat).

That's, well, odd...
 

http://www.ncbuy.com/news/wireless_n...4S025709030425

(Spree: Tina Yothers, aka Jennifer Keaton from Family Ties, to star as Linda Lovelace in a musical with music written by a couple of Go-Gos).

Ollie (can she sing and deepthroat at the same time?) Ramone

Now that's talent!
 

OK, I'm bored today, so I google uvula. As one would expect, weird stuff in teh results. But I was shocked to discover that people actually pierce them!!! It's too gross to post a picture, but here's a link:

http://www.bme.freeq.com/pierce/11-surface/uvula1.html

So. Cal. Sports Report
 

This was my random rambling e-mail to a friend last night. By the way, anyone who disses Darcy Tucker for flopping should put Robert Horry on their aluminum bat list too. That was disgusting.

----

Everyone's talking about how impossible T-Mac is to
guard. Well how about The Big Ticket, Kevin
Garnett. Maybe this is a blindingly obvious statement
bt watching tonight's game (Minnesota
up by 5with 20 seconds left) this guy is unstoppable.
Fox, Bryant, Horry and everyone else have looked
totally useless against him. I wonder what Flip does
during timeouts.

"Ok, Troy, take the inbounds pass from KG, give the
ball back to him posting up on the wing by lobbing the
ball 12 feet into the air and letting him go up for
it. Then, KG, you spin baseline, fake to the middle,
step back, and sink the unblockable 16 footer."

How tough is that? I could be a coach.

Whoops, Kobe just hit a 4 pointer. What kind of foul call is that? Crap. This is quite a game.

Another thing about KG is that he makes the T-Wolves
IMPOSSIBLE to press. Any time they pressure the ball,
the ballhandler can just lob something high in the air
in his direction knowing he'll come down with it.

They keep showing McHale in the stands. He looks like
he wants to puke. This is highly amusing. Anyways, win or lose, this game and this series, I think KG is a mensch. But if they lose, I think T-Wolves fans will be saying "Wha' Happened?"

White Stripes
 

WHo is this happenin rocker chick slash lawyer who lives in my backyard? Who is good in DC this weekend?

Speaking of Flops
 

Did you see GP's flop (on which J Kidd picked up an offensive foul) that was not in the direction of the hit? Say what you will, but the Glove is one heck on an actor.

The Lakers game brought the OM to bed waaaaaaay too late. I cannot imagine how people on the East Coast could watch that or the 5 OT hockey game.

Even(sleep-deprived)Odds

90210 reunion
 

That Billy is so smug.

Andrew Shue is THE worst actor I have ever seen. This includes pornos and junior high school plays. What a maroon.

I always thought Jane was so damn hot on that show. Jane is her name, right? Short blonde hair?

And we can't forget scar lady. She totally ruined her career because every time I see her in anything else, I think she's going to take off her hair to reveal that frickin' scar. Damn that was a good episode.

And what can I say about Heather Locklear that everyone doesn't already know?

They need a new evening soap.

Thurgreed(they got rid of the only black girl on that show after like 3 episodes -- fuckers)Marshall

White Stripes
 

I can remember being in a bar on Stratton Mtn, apres ski, - the one that was in the basement of that quasi Applebees, TGIF place right by the place where you buy the tix, and the Spin Doctors were ALWAYSA on the jukeobx. During that week I went from hating them to liking them to hating them.

At some point during this period, I can recall seeing them at Willow Street (not Capital Theater where I caught Phish- how cool was I in the early nineties?) in Port Chester (oh those were thedays). My sister LOVED them (I am so going to remind her of this embarrassment) so I havfe to think she dragged me. I remember her thinking the "rubber band guy" was hot.

Melrose petition
 

What?!? Brooke died? (She's the one who is Charlotte on Sex and the City, right?) Wow. I must have stopped watching that show earlier on than I thought..

In related paigow commentary, here's a funny line from the review of "Confidence":

"The problems with "Confidence," which opens today nationwide, are summed up by Mr. Burns's performance, which is difficult to distinguish from any of his other performances, except that his hair is shorter."

Now, I happen to think Mr. Burns is cute -- but I guess I won't be spending my hard-earned $$ to see this particular opus.

___________

And here, a reminder of just how superior my would-be avatar is to that of the pretender to the throne's (aka plf.)



http://www.giantgenius.com/dog2.jpg

Melrose
 

I think Andrew Shue got Botox in his upper lip. It never moved, ever. So annoying (on top of everything else that was annoying about him).

I loved Sydney. Awesome character. Remember when she and Traci Lords joined that cult?

90210 reunion
 

Well, I google Melrose in vain hoping to find it on DVD bc, wel how cool would it be to have all those shows and a big party with a huge bag of pot and all of your favorite gay friends? Lots of websties out there begging for a DVD but nothing.

Anyawy, I did learn that Doctor Kimberly Shaw apparently is getting her own show and I had the exact thought you did, TM, of her leaning into the mirror and slowly ripping off that wig to show the scar. I can still feel the shock and disgust.

Jane Mancini. And Sidney. Remember her? The bitchy little redhead? The best was when she married that other worst actor ever, David Charvet and then she got killed.

They definitley need a new evening soap. I bet you and I could get together and write a wicked pilot. What do you say? I will even allow you to throw in a token non hoochy black person. But we will need lots of hooch.

90210 reunion
 

Am I the only one who remembers Marcia Cross from the Edge of Night? Am I the only one who remembers the Edge of Night?

L(feeling old)P

So. Cal. Sports Report
 

Do you have a friend you can go out to a bar and watch the game with? Or maybe one you can call from home and talk to during the game?

TM

Schadenfreudapalooza
 

Speaking of overwrought dialogue by falling stars, I'm off the Kevin Smith bandwagon. I think time will not treat his oeuvre kindly. At first I thought Dogma had some funny moments, but then I realized I just wanted to think so, and the balance of it just makes me mad. I've even stopped liking Clerks, which in fact does not bear repeated watching, contrary to popular belief. I'm starting to look upon people who endlessly quote his movies with the same pity and awe as those who could recite Holy Grail in high school. No offense.

If he ruins his Fletch movie, I'll fucking kill him.