So
 

Sebby has time to IM dtb, but not to post here? What a dick. I hope I don't turn out like him.

Re: Congratulations Slave and Catrin!!!
 

Why is the focus in these articles entirely on quantity? Doesn't anyone worry about quality anymore?

Re: Congratulations Slave and Catrin!!!
 

wouldn't religious teens who do fuck be more likely to lie about that? Think about it.

Re: Congratulations Slave and Catrin!!!
 

Why spend all night trying to get the hot girl at the bar to go home with you when you can get two average ones right before closing time? It's all about volume. Just like the First Citywide Change Bank.

“We have been in this business a long time. With our experience, we're gonna have ideas for change combinations that probably haven't occurred to you. If you have a fifty-dollar bill, we can give you fifty singles. [ SUPER: "We can give you fifty singles" ] We can give you forty-nine singles and ten dimes. We can give you twenty-five twos. Come talk to us. [ SUPER: "We can give you twenty-five twos" ] We are not going to give you change that you don't want. If you come to us with a hundred-dollar bill, we're not going to give you two-thousand nickels.. [ SUPER: "We're not going to give you two thousand nickels" ] - unless that meets your particular change needs. We will give you.. the change.. equal to.. the amount of money.. that you want change for!"

My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

So, now that I'm boyfriendless (hi TM!), I need some advice, because I've forgotten how to do these things of properly using my feminine wiles and not revealing early on that I'm psycho. So, here's the question:

Bunny meets smoking hot guy who gets her all twitterpated in a way that is not normal, but I'm a little standoffish at first. Go on a couple dates and boy seems smitten (experience is that men fall in crush and out of crush faster than chicks) and then he has complete emotional break down and says he's not ready to date again-thought he was, but now is all anxious and stressed etc and needs to back off considerably but would like to keep talking etc etc...so I realize, once again that I'm a freak magnet. So, I've stayed in contact but he's been kinda doing just enough to stay in contact...I've been out of town a lot and we had made plans to take our dogs hiking next Saturday (not this) when I'm finally back in town on a weekend (been traveling on weekends for three weeks). So, here's the question. I've decided to leave him alone for a bit so that I'm not the one carrying the conversation....so, what to do about that Saturday? Do I contact him middle of next week to firm up plans or do I never contact him again and see if he tries to firm up the plans on his end. I'm really bad at being patient, but I think me being the initiator lately has not helped. Thoughts from my mean-spirited friends please.

Re: Congratulations Slave and Catrin!!!
 

I thought that was the main point of the study -- that it looked at groups of teens who had similar attitudes towards sex, so that the key difference (assuming that the study was done well, and you can control for other factors, and so forth) was whether or not they took "the pledge."


eta: And then the study looked not only at rates of sex, but rates of condom use and so forth -- indicating that while taking the pledge (and the abstience-only education that accompanied it, I think) didn't reduce promiscuity, it sure did reduce safe-sex knowledge/practice.

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

[props up pillow, places bowl of popcorn on lap, makes sure beverage is in easy reach] Okay, I'm ready to be entertained/disgusted.

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

Why not give him a chance and see if he can act normal and you still like him?

Re: Congratulations Slave and Catrin!!!
 

You could only have gotten that impression if you stopped reading at the first paragraph, as Adder's posts have shown.

Rather than starting with something like "teenagers who take the pledge are just as likely to have premarital sex...." (which incorrectly implies a comparison to all non-pledgers, an implication that is corrected further on), it should have started with something like "taking the 'pledge' does not appear to reduce likelihood of premarital sex, though it appears to negatively impact the use of condoms and other precautions against STDs and pregnancy" (which would have focused only on whether 'taking the pledge' made a difference in and of itself).

The article may have been poorly (or dramatically) written, but it wasn't misleading.

Re: Congratulations Slave and Catrin!!!
 

That's what I've been trying to do by staying in contact with him, Ty....but he seems to be in some sort of a funk so i think maybe I should leave him alone.

Re: So
 

No, sweetie, not me. He was IM'ing my six-year-old son.


Now doesn't that make you feel better?

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

Come on, man. That wasn't entertaining!

(though it was good advice)

As an expert in this field (HA!!), I would say, do nothing. If he's normal and interested, he'll get back to you in the customary amount of time in an ordinary way. If not, he won't, and no amount of forcing or machinations on your part are going to make a bit of long-term difference.

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

Hi!

I need more facts. What does "So, I've stayed in contact but he's been kinda doing just enough to stay in contact..." mean? If he said he wants to keep talking but is only doing the bare minimum to keep in contact (like responding to you, you psycho), does that mean he's really truly interested? If you tell me he's only ever kept in contact with you by responding, I'd say write him off unless he gets over his can't-deal phase. If he's been initiating and it was his idea to go hiking, drop him a line next week that says, "We still on for dog walking/hiking on Saturday? Let me know cause my dogs are barkin'." (Actually, leave out that second sentence as it is exceedingly stupid.

I am a firm believer that "I'm not ready for a relationship right now" is just another way of saying, "I'm not ready for a relationship with you ." Because there isn't a person alive who drops that load of bullshit for (what they think is) the right person.

TM

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

That's my thought exactly--at this point there is nothing you can do to make them want you, just make them NOT want you...my only concern is that the dog plans were something I suggested and he agreed to, so I'm not sure whether I'm supposed to follow up and suggest details or leave him be to see if he'll take the iniative himself. Manners would say it's my job to follow up, but my instinct is to leave it be and if he wants to do it, he'll follow up.

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

Some people like to go to the beach so they can tan and watch people. Others like to swim. If you like to swim, you're better off just going in. The water is cold at first, but after a while you don't notice it and enjoy yourself. If you wait to jump in, you do less swimming.

Unless you just like to just sit around and tan with a drink with a little paper parasol.

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

2

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

Can't it also mean, "I'd really just like no-strings attached sex?"

Another approach: ask dtb to come dog walking, too, and if his dogs do nothing but jump on her dogs, then it's just you.

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

You should leave it to him to follow up. He may only have agreed out of politeness/not wanting to offend you. If you follow up, he may go out of a sense of obligation, but wouldn't you rather know that he actually wants to be there?

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

Yeah, I would generally agree with you on this. I may have shortened it down a bit--i think his words were something like (can't believe I'm telling you THurgreed) he thought he was ready to start dating again (divorced) but i was the first person he met that he really thought would go somewhere and it's freaking him out and he's getting all anxious and blah blah blah and could we do some friendly stuff for a while to which I said something like "Like walking the dogs?" and he said "yes, perfect" and then I suggested a date and he said it should work. Mostly I contact him first and he responds, but sometimes he initiates contact. Probably a lost cause, but he's a smart, hot lost cause.

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

If you like the guy, make an unequivocal move that signals you're still interested. It's painful to watch two basically passive-aggresive people each waiting for a clear signal from the other. You said he was into it at first, and you've been standoffish. He's probably reacting to that. He's backed off and is waiting for some signal from you that you're not just gonna string him along and hold him at arm's length indefinitely. (Ed: it's amazing to me that women want men to communicate, put their heart on their sleeve, etc., and then are willing to let the few guys who actually do that twist in the wind.)

Also, if you're working from a copy of that "Rules" book, for god's sake burn it and go with your gut.

Unsolicited (sort of) advice worth what you paid for it.

Good luck,

CDF

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

This is all fine and good, but does he have any mockable hobbies? Flinty's into his second bag of popcorn now, and I think we need to get this reasonable advice shit out of the way and move on to the more entertaining stuff.

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

Never contact him again. There are some awesome men out there. This douche is not worth your time.

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

Ok, I maybe didn't sumarize that well. I was a little bit standoffish on our first couple of dates but communicative about it (just got out of LTR, give me a couple of dates to get in the swing of things again, unless you just want to be a piece of ass, in which case, fine)...then when he went all wackado on me i was like "look, i'm not in any rush and am happy to do friendly stuff and you either will or won't get your head straightened out--I'm in to you and know you're a good person whatever form it takes"--he's been very communicative, and I have too...I just feel like I should maybe give him space to get his head straightened out, but I want the boy in a baaad way and he knows it.

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

Now, now. My boyfriend is an excellent communicator and I appreciate the hell out of it. To the tune of as many blow jobs as he can handle. I think it's when the woman, deep down, just doesn't really like the man that she will let him twist in the wind, good communicator or not.

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

He should never contact you again. There are some awesome women out there. This douche isn't worth his time.

Re: General announcement and warning
 

The kid had me going for a couple minutes. The odd mis-spellings had me thinking, "Is she perhaps drunk? No. It's early afternoon.

...Then again, she might be hanging with Rip Torn."

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

Have a good weekend with your dog. If he wants to show up, let him take the initiative on that.

I know how to get Sebby back
 

Here's a Patton Oswalt rant on 80s Hair Bands that's pretty funny: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewY3h...eature=related

TM

Re: General announcement and warning
 

Yeah, that was a sure tip off. dtb certainly knows how to spell unsolicited fellatio, she's had enough practice.

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

Jesus H Christ. This has gone from dull to suicide-inducing. You were standoffish but you got in his space but you told him you don't need to be but you want him but you're not sure and is he really ready blah blah blah.

At this point, even I have no idea what you actually want -- a relationship? Happy to just bang him for awhile? A regular dog-walking date? -- or what you've actually done towards that. Maybe you need to figure that out for yourself, and then tell him. Be clear -- "I like you and want to spend time with you, if it's just as a friend I can live with that but I'd really like you to fuck me, in a friendly way at least," for example.

My guess is he'll respond that he's just not ready for that yet, in a Thurgreed-type way. Which I would argue is not sufficiently communicative to merit a blowjob, but opinions may differ.

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

I assumed he already got that and is now trying to cut the strings he didn't think were there.

TM

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

He sounds like a pain in the ass with a lot of baggage to me.

TM

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

Nope.

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

When I was younger and living in LA, I was one evening lounging around the living room with my roommates, discussing ad infinitum whether a guy I had met that weekend liked me.

My roommate, Tracy, looked at me and said "Do you think he likes you?"

And I said "Yes".

Tracy said, "If you think he likes you, he does. You should always trust your instincts on this."

She was right.

Trust your instincts. They are telling you he is no longer interested. They are right.

Re: So
 

Like you've never IM'd with a six year old.

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

Actually, my instincts on it are that he likes me a whole freaking lot and it freaked him out and that if I leave him alone for like 5 months, he'll be in perfect shape for me, but I usually lack the patience/discipline.

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

Finally the entertainment begins. I'm now down to my last sip of coke and the semi-popped kernels over here. Shit.

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

Sunny, you are acting like you just want us to tell you what you want to hear.

Thurgreed is right. No one will be "ready for a relationship" in 5 months. If he will ever be ready, he will be ready now. Because if he really likes you, he won't want you to be apart from him for 5 months.

I think you could do much better.

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

this is the biggest smile in the last month.

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 

How's that?

TM