Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

"Primetime Glick" suffers from Beavis & Butt-Head Syndrome, in that it has only two solid laughs in 22 minutes. However, the recurring joke in which Jiminy talks about his four darling boys (Morgan, Mason, Matthew and Modine) makes me laugh every time.

The rest of the time it's a cheap rip-off of The Outside Scoop with Jackie Harvey.

The answer is "no". Only people who have left a distinct enough impression that they remind me of someone. The impression may have come from one post, like there was a time tht PJ sounded just like Merecenary Melissa from Joe Dough and that stuck. And of course, thy have to be people I havent met. I dont have one for you at the moment. probably bc you seem like someone I would know. Although, SD seems like someone I would know but I picture him to look like a tall thin shaggy brown haired guy with blue eyes who I might have gone to school with at some poit. nothing totally distinctive.

Do you not get Susan Hawk from Thrashers? Who else could she be?

I picture myself as Maud Lebowski bcI am not exactly paigow. I assume you got Jami Gertz from the time I said "behoove"? I dont remember her in that movie, but generally, I dont like her or her voice. I am gussins Uma from my avatar? She is not that different from Maud if you think about it.

for thrasher + the 1 or 2 hockey fans
 

Nice. Reminded me that 80mph is 130 kilometers per hour and also of that time I was stopped on the QE and actually escaped a ticket by acting surprised that it was 100 KILOMETERS per hour--:doh3:

Hockey will hit the shitter unless they solve this collective bargaining issue. A lockout next year will drive away the fans who have not already left because of ticket prices. Do you think this is what players like Ted Lindsey had in mind when they started dreaming of a union. I like unions, but Ihave trouble thinking of them for guys making millions of dollars.

As always, I recommend the NHL Center Ice package to anyone like me who is interested in watching about 40 games a week on 12 channels. I need to build me one of those multi-screen television walls one of these days.

for thrasher + the 1 or 2 hockey fans
 

Too bad Ilya Kovalchuk wasn't in the car.

Slave4(Rangers...going nowhere, yet again)Ever

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

Brittany is also a bimbo name. As a general rule of thumb, if you're going to name your daughter that or anything ending in "i", you might as well put a downpayment on her implants, bleach job, and cheap nylon lingerie wardrobe now, because she's got no hope for any job that doesn't involve disrobing in front of Howard Stern.

More progress in the struggle for practical robotic sex toys.
 

A vibrator that plugs into a USB port, and runs off the laptop batteries. Fringey disclosure: THIS SITE SELLS A VIBRATOR THAT PLUGS INTO A USB PORT, AND RUNS OFF THE LAPTOP BATTERIES.

Suddenly, business class just got a lot more interesting.

It's a quantum leap forward from the diesel Rabbits y'all were talking about this morning.

Edited to add the Fringey disclosure.

for thrasher + the 1 or 2 hockey fans
 

I would like to formally request that Leagl make a smilie available that would adequately represent my feelings when reading this post. Don't fuck with Kovie, ya bastard, he is all that I have left. Besides, he is my screensaver and if he had been in the car I would have felt inclined to find a new one.

Not Amused by Poll!
 

I have had a woman (lawyer) do this to me -- guess what city she practices in? I think she's the only one who has ever done this to me.

PJ sounds like Julie Andrews in my head. BRC sounds like Sandra Bearnhardt (in a good way).

In my head, SD sounds and looks like my boyfriend from high school. It's the sarcasm, I think.


Nope. I think maybe Thrasher voilates the "someone I could know" rule. I feel like she's someone I've had wings with (extra hot...fuck the blue cheese...and a pitcher of beer).

I don't know why. It just is.

For anyone else who is wondering, I associate the following celebrities/characters with the following FBer's:

notcasesensitive: Leah Thompson
TM: Robert Deniro in Taxi Driver
Atticus: My 11th and 12th grade english teacher
Leagl: Jeanne Tripplehorn
spookyfish: ed norton

More progress in the struggle for practical robotic sex toys.
 

As excited as I am about this innovation, I am not too excited to note that I just viewed a sex toy/porn movie sales site on my work computer. Spree?

I am also curious who Paigow thinks I sound like.

Spam
 

I wanted to update all of you -- I am not just a church-goer, but a black/colored/mocha/African-American/islander church-goer. I got some kind of spam for "my" books advertising "African-American books."

I wonder if I now own a hat?

More progress in the struggle for practical robotic sex toys.
 

Are you fucking kidding me? What part of "sex toy" and "vibrator" didn't you understand?

More progress in the struggle for practical robotic sex toys.
 

No, I am not fucking kidding you. I thought it would be a NEWS STORY on such a vibrator.

Edited to note: Now, if you had said "click here to purchase" I would not have been surprised where I ended up.

More progress in the struggle for practical robotic sex toys.
 

Oh. Well. That explains it.

Edited to make it less snide and more apologetic, to reflect a sincere change of heart on the matter.

More progress in the struggle for practical robotic sex toys.
 

Bite me. It was reasonable.

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

In the Mr.'s family (which is, in fairness, exceedingly waspy), they've been doing this for generations. Women are often given last names as first names, or men's names. Which, given the traditional women's names in the family is a huge improvement. There is a Hortensia in living memory, and that's not the worst. For men, one of the benefits of th3e scottish thing is that a lot of last names are already common first names. This makes geneological reasearch a huge pain inthe ass, though.

Actually, come to think of it, they've been doing it in my family for years, too, at least with middle names. One of my mother's names is a grand-uncle's name. Her dad has a family surname as a middle name, as did his father. My paternal grandmother's middle name was a surname that goes back so far I haven't been able to find its source.

I don't think this is as new or as weird as y'all seem to think. And I'm sort of fond of made-up names (though not just bad-spellings of names). At least they are usually prettier and more interesting than a lot of "normal" names.

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

Dear Lord. Time to head to the bunker in Montana.

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

I think the point was the use of multiple extremely WASP-y names with an extremely non-WASP-y last name.

dude, spookyfish is the shorter, fatter Bob from Office Space (acutally, he didnt leave an indelible impression outside of being from OH and being kinda middle american , but this sounds about right) Atticus is the other Bob, the one who likes Michael Bolton. NCS is a tall thin actress for me but i cant think of who. Tm is Mister T.

I am Sandra Bernhard, not BRC. BRC is more like an older woman, nicely dressed, but I picture long frizzed out hair and big eyeglasses for some reason.

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

My great-aunt Valorais wins the prize in my blood family, although her sister-in-law Violenta (married to my great-uncle) runs a close second.

Valor I can see, maybe. But violent?

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

The point is, giving such names within your own family is proper. Using such names when they are not family names is not.

I was just discussing my lament that one of my family names became popular in the 90s as a first name. It is my brother's middle name in a variant spelling, and several cousins first or middle names as the variant or the original family spelling.

Now, I cannot use this name for my own children because it has become not just common, but, frankly, trashy. It always reminds me of the simpsons episode when Cletus is calling the kids out of the shack: "Taylor, Sheridan, Dylan, Montgomery, etc"

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

DS

I dont think you read my post, or dtb's clearly. The trend is to *sound waspy*. Growing up, we all knew the waspy dreamboats named Taylor and Winthrop (names of two men I dated back in the day), They were real wasps. Card carrying descendents of someonby Important in the Seventeenth century. Taylor's family owned one of those big ole homes on Bellevue in Newport and Win was decended from the guy who killed Alexander Hamilton in a duel.

Today's young Taylors and Winthrops are merely pretenders to the wasp throne. Your Hortense and co. aer actual wasps it soudns like, and of course they have done the family name thing for hundreds of years. Its wasp tradition. Its just when Tony and Amy Gambiadini of Suburb, NJ name their kid Montgomery that you scratch your head a little. Unless it was after that fine, gay actor Montgomery Clift?

dude, in case you've forgotten...spookyfish is my current on-line make-believe boyfriend...

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

Perhaps her parents can't spell, and really meant "Violetta"? Or perhaps the parents were milquetoasts, and thought a tough-sounding name would help their daughter stand tall?

P(think a guy who marries a chick named Violent is pretty brave)J

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

Or that fine nuclear power plant owner.

My family used to do the family-names-as-middle-names thing. As a result, my mother has five names. Although all her siblings have patiently carried on that tradition, she and my dad stopped it, because it was in her words, stupid. When I was little this bugged me because I wanted to be different with three middle posh-sounding names.

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

Perfect, if fictional, illustration. Courtesy of Google:

Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel begat Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermott, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendal, Katlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kira, Ian, Lauren, Q-bert, and Phil by his spouse, Brandine, and perhaps also his "smellhound," Geech.

More progress in the struggle for practical robotic sex toys.
 

"Oh. Well. That explains it." is not something I would interpret as at all apologetic, though getting rid of the eye-rolling guy did cleanse it of actual snideness.

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

I am not amused by people named after places. This applies even if the name "fits" with the last name.

Dakota, Montana, Paris, and the like are just plain silly, IMHO. It generally follows that people will wonder, sometimes out loud, if the individual was conceived in the place bearing his/her name. If the parents want to memorialize the moment they should just let it all out -- meet "Squeaky Bed at Skanky HoJos in Billings" Smith. If the name has nothing to do with the location, why use it? You are named after a city/state/country/amusement park you dork.

dude, how can you go from an orgy in a hottub to a middleaged, short pudgy "consultant" in the midwest? is this what childbrith does to you? Take Coltrane. At least we know he is young and spunky.

p(slim pickings around here)banged

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

No, they meant to name her Violenta. The woman smoked something like three packs a day. During my lifetime her children were all grown up, but she yelled at her grandchildren something awful.

Oprah was supposed to have been name Orpah, but her mom made a mistake on the birth certificate.

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

Advise huh?

Today is Dear Leagl day. Cool.

Ok, my advice is this:

Stop being so fucking miserable, then you won't have so much to post about.

Anyone else?

More progress in the struggle for practical robotic sex toys.
 

At the moment you are sounding like Goldie Hawn in "Death Becomes Her."

More progress in the struggle for practical robotic sex toys.
 

You would think that someone would recognize the "I'm sorry you took offense at that" apology and move on.

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

My husband has the same middle name as his father. His mother gave it to him at the last minute when she decided not to give him the same first name as his father. It is a particularly odious name.

My husband insists that if we have a son, we must give it said odious middle name. I assert that one generation does not a family tradition make.

for thrasher + the 1 or 2 hockey fans
 

What kind of smilie would that be? One with an UZI?

for thrasher + the 1 or 2 hockey fans
 

and obscene finger gestures
and maybe one smilie slapping another and the second smilie's head falling off and being stamped on by the first smilie and then blood spurting all over the place and the first smilie laughing and rolling in the blood and and and

thank God that hockey starts tomorrow --

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

The one who lies on a table screaming for hours pushing the baby out is the one who gets to name it. Period.

I think you win on this one.

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

Whatever the point, I think we can all rest easier knowing that the world will not be limited to just one Dwight Thomas Roth.

(spree: Dwight Thomas Roth Jr. born in toilet, wheelchair-bound mother surprised)

(fringe disclosure: news article, not "click here to purchase" Dwight Thomas Roth Jr.)

Between this and the hogging article I read yeterday in some Cleveland publication, I am starting to believe that Ohio may be a truly creepy place.

for thrasher + the 1 or 2 hockey fans
 

Oh, come on -- the Rangers will always have a shot with Mike Richter in goa...[whispering in my ear] he retired? Shoot, that's right. Uh, nevermind. Anyway, Dunham will be fine and their number 2 goalie, that kid Blackburn, should fil ... [more whispering] he's hurt? Well. Huh.

At least they have offense, with offensive-minded defenseman Brian Leetch leading the rus....[additional whispers] what the fuck? He's hurt, too? Jesus. Well, Pavel Bure [still more whispers] what? He has no knees? How can a guy have no knees? Oh, right. It's hockey.

So, basically, the Blueshirts are relying upon Eric "Eggshell Skulled Plaintiff" Lindros, Bobby "Freakishly Scary Head" Holik, and Mark "I Played Against Maurice Richard" Messier.

No worries, slave. They'll be dancing with the Cup at Scores again next Spring.

Not Amused by Poll! Poll
 

The one on the table screaming for hours pushing the baby out is in no condition to enforce her will at the critical juncture. At that point, with a cute little chalky kid squirming on your tummy, husband could say, let's name him Butterworth Ogden Osama bin Brazen and Mom will say "oh, what a beautiful name."

Enforce your will before this critical moment in time.