Public internet posting to Paigs
 

Jesus, Less. This type of rookie mistake would be shameful from others, but from you, it is an unspeakable disgrace. Please remember that many on this board look to you for guidance and inspiration.

The correct answer to the question: "How old are you?" is "How old do you think I am?"

Lester's playground trawling
 

Oops. Um, yeah, what she said.

Public internet posting to Paigs
 

That would have been better, but: (1) I had been drinking; (2) I was trying to converse with her in bad German - hell, for all I know, I may have said I was 57 or 13 or some other age as stupid as my own; and (3) I thought she was older than 21 - 21 year old chicks should not be hitting on me.

I either need to go back to Scandinavia where they have bars one must be at least 24 to get into, or back to Eastern Europe where they don't care so long as you speak English with a Canadian accent. I will work on my game for y'all, though.

ketchup
 

Kind of. He skipped the best part of the hobbits return home. But at 3 plus hours long I can understand why he didn't include those scenes.

Rhetorical Question
 

Originally posted by ABBAKiss

Cut backs, my dear. You'll have to learn how to cook, and Mr. Kiss will have to learn how to fuck.

Lester's playground trawling
 

Why not just tell the truth? How old is so old that people feel that self-concious about it? 33?

Lester's playground trawling
 

Did you not read this part?: "The truth apparently turns off drunk, horny 21-year Portland State students just returned from a year studying in Salzburg. "

Lester's playground trawling
 

plus, don't you get the feeling the real age was 19, and the 21 was just to clean up the story a little?

Ads
 

10 Ads America won't see.

spree: link to a series of advertising that, fo rone reason or another, didn't make it in the US.

Another actual fashion question...
 

Originally posted by robustpuppy

Try "four button". Three button is more traditional than two button.

You think you're accurate with the hyphens, but I think you've missed some unit modifiers.

Comic Genius
 

Sports Guy mentioned Michael Madsen's book of poetry. So I looked it up on Amazon.com, and found a hilarious review. So then I checked out other reviews by this user. It's kind of in the "ninjas are sweet" vein.

Anyways, click on the best reviews ever

Example: review of "Clash of the Titans"

"This is my favorite Harry Hamlin movie. I like when he plays Perseus and has the sword. I get mad when he loses things, like when he loses his helmet and when he looses his shield. Just because he kills Medusa doesn't mean he can be careless. I like when he solves Andromeda's riddle and gets to marry her. He beats the Kraken like I beat Sephiroth in Final Fantasy 7. Harry Hamiln should have had a bigger career: this could have been his "Conan." Then he could be governor, too. If you like Marc Singer in Beastmaster, you'll love Harry Hamlin in this movie. Also, this movie is on TV sometimes. If you don't want to buy it right now, you can watch it on TV. It's probably on right now. I think you should buy this movie though and pretend that it's on TV. You can say, "I think I'll watch some TV, I wonder if Clash of the Titans is on." Then you can put it in the DVD player and watch it pretending that you're watching TBN."

I don't think this is at all affiliated with sweet ninjas

Lester's playground trawling
 

Whatever. The truth of 31 doesn't appear to turn them off.

Maybe it was his cologne. Or his breath.

ketchup
 

m
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e

s
p
o
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Yes. The reaction here was "they cut out all resolution on the Saruman* but kept in all of this?!"

*yes, I fucking had to google to figure out his name


***Completely unrelated side conversation that interests no one but that is easier to include here than it would be for me to multipost while trying to catch up ----> thanks for the linky, Ty.***

Keira
 

Originally posted by robustpuppy

Kiera is nothing like Witherspoon. Her, Elijah Wood, Christina Ricci and some others have looks so odd that they actually interfere with the watchability of their movies.

Ode to Dave
 

It's the sauce.

Thank you, I'll be here all week, at least for those of you in the upper midwest.

I appreciate the ode, nonetheless. Well up there on my list of favorite holiday moments, just below the last portion of that bottle of expensive vodka.

Da (I will forswear the internet before ever using anyone as toolish as Dave Grohl as my avatar, and yes, Dave Foley is still the greatest) ve

Keira
 

How about Wood as Frodo, how was that distracting?

presents
 

They're not for decoration; they're for identification. Do you never have parties where people are drinking from wine glasses when they aren't sitting at the table? It's cold and flu season -- you don't want to drink from the glass of anyone with whom you are not otherwise swapping spit. Wine charms are much "classier" than the paper tags.

http://www.winetag.com/RedWine.jpg

ketchup
 

As someone who has a familial connection to the Lord of the Rings trilogy (outable, sorry, though if we ever meet IRL it's obvious -- no, not hairy feet), has read them numerous times and recycled that book report just as often, almost the last half of the third book is devoted to that sort of wrapup. Just like much of the first is used to set up the story. If the extended version of the DVD is like the first two, Return of the King's extended version will clock in at well over 4 hours.

I kind of wish the Scouring of the Shire was depicted, but also understand why it is not. Also, while Saruman needed a better wrapup, I thought his parts in the first two films were actually a bit inflated.

Won't be seeing Return of the King for a few days, but based on Peter Jackson's previous two efforts I'm sure I'll enjoy it unless he adds a song and dance number for Sauron or something stupid like that. My only real beefs with the story so far are the expanded role for Arwen and the whole Aragorn dream sequence/miraculous horse rescue in the Two Towers.

This is one subject on which I definitely plead guilty to absolute nerddom.

Best presents
 

The only thing close to a bad present (the icky letter was sent to my parents, not me) is a bag of pot pourri I got from "Santa." I don't care for pot pourri and my cat would throw it around the house. My best presents were two things I've wanted but never got around to buying: an insulated casserole carrier and a pepper mill.

Keira
 

Originally posted by Can you hear me now?

Maybe it was his pointy nose. Maybe it was that he's cross eyed. Maybe it was that his iris' are just the right color to give him a washed out complexion. Or maybe it was just that he looks like a grotesque overgrown 12-year old with a receding hairline.

Ricci managed to look worse in "Sleep Hollow" but that's not saying much.

Best presents
 

I went home to Toronto and got three presents. They were all sets of coasters.

Came home and my wife's mother had bought her a creme brulee set. This despite the fact that she (my wife) had received a creme brulee set at her bridal shower. A real banner year at the ole Bender household.

Best presents: all from the wife.
Aqua Teen Hunger Force T-Shirt from Hot Topic
Brak T-Shirt from Hot Topic
Monkey-butler pen-holder from Bombay Co.
Monkey-butler business card holder from Bombay Co.

presents
 

Just why is it that one would not have one's glass in one's hand at all times during such an event? (cause if it's an event where you need your hands free for extended periods of time, you should be comfortable drinking out of whatever glass comes to hand)

ketchup
 

When certain family members bitched a little too much about the length of the ending, I hauled out the books to demonstrate how many inches of text were condensed into the whole thing.

I've heard that the extended-extended version of the whole shebang will reach 19 hours.

I'm pretty sure that the Shire sequences were filmed and will make the extended-extended edition. They were shown in the first movie, when Frodo looks into the mirror.

Keira
 

Ms. Ricci is perhaps the sexiest "real woman" looking woman in film today.

Another actual fashion question...
 

Tell it to Mrs. Howell.

:rolleyes:
See the eye roll? That's an indicator that I don't really give a fuck how many buttons are on a man's tuxedo.

presents
 

I was recently at a holiday cookie bake where a bunch of women drank wine and made cookies. Obviously we couldn't hold our glasses and handle cookie pans. This is only one occasion where wine charms were handy. As for drinking out of whatever glass, see earlier comment about cold and flu season. Color me squeamish (or more correctly, incredibly prone to catching upper resp infections) but I'd rather know which glass is mine.

Any of you who don't want your wine charms, just send them to: Fugee, Minneapolis, Minnesota. I'm sure they'll find me somehow.

Keira
 

You people are all nuts.

http://www.padme.de/kei.jpg

http://www.padme.de/kei2.jpg

http://www.rediff.com/entertai/2002/jul/12bend2.jpg

She's not drop-dead said Fred, but she's very good looking. (And I still don't see the issue with her teeth.)

TM

presents
 

Ah. I don't think that would work very well, especially after a few drinks. These each have a different coloured lighthouse dangling from them. And they are tiny. So I don't see people really even noticing which one is theirs, never mind remembering it. Perhaps that is why you don't see them very often?

Keira
 

I thought I recalled her being hot. I wouldn't say no.

Keira
 

She actually has some talent.

Haven't seen her in PotC, but elsewhere, she CAN act. And the fact that she has a British accent that doesn't sound like the short-tongued Masterpiece Theatre crowd is a plus.

presents
 

If you give people something to eat and something to drink (especially if the drinks have alcohol,) they have a tendency to be awkward and to spill both the food and the drink. These things invariably land on couches, carpeting or clothing that is dry clean only. This would make me, and potentially other people, unhappy. We can limit the risk of this happening, and thus likely avoid my unhappiness, by enabling people to put their glasses down.

Now, fortunately for me, located about my apartment in a variety of strategic spots are these things called tables. On top of each of these tables are things called coasters. Working together these items allow my guests to put their glasses down.

Keira
 

The only sub-20 actress cuter than her is Jessica Alba, and she may be the hottest piece on this planet

presents
 

And if you had some decent wine charms, a couple of people could put their glasses on the same table and be able to identify their own glasses!

As far as noticing, you the host don't put them on glasses; you have them available by the empty glasses. The guests chose their own wine charms and thus remember which one they chose -- at least while they are sober enough to care which glass they drink from.

And if your guests are really stupid, you can make ones that have their names:

http://www.klinq.com/images/prod-images/49507-md.jpg

Christmas Present Redux
 

Not after the 50,000th time the cow goes moo, the horse goes neigh, the pig goes oink and the old mcdonald had a farm song plays.

TM

presents
 

Yes, you have convinced me. I will make the wine charms available for use. Now I understand the wisdom of the woman who gave them to me.

As far as guest stupidity, only a few are lawyers, so the bulk should be ok.

Nigerian Scam
 

Stupid and greedy is a terrible (but common) way to go through life. Fuck him.

Rudest family comment at Christmas gathering
 

Me to my 26 year old single mom niece with 4 kids:

"Why don't you have another so that you can play full court?"

Speaking of LOTR
 

I loved the Lord of The Rings and this is just silly. Orcs are orcs. Although I tend to think that albino creatures tend to be scariest, I wasn't offended that all of the Orcs were dark skinned. I couldn't tell if they were really very dark or just dirty and I think that's what Jackson intended. Not offensive at all.

But I will note that all of the men and women (and I mean ALL) in that movie were white. I'm not a scholar of the book, so I don't know what Tolkien intended, but damn. No black, asian or hispanic people in all of middle-earth? Maybe it's just a product of where they filmed (New Zealand, right?), but sheesh.

No real complaints, though (other than it being way too long -- the whole last 40 minutes was useless and unecessary to stay true to Tolkien's intent -- I would rather have seen the Hobbits fighting to regain the Shire upon their return than Sam's wedding and Frodo's and Bilmor...er Bilbo's departure). All in all, a very good movie; my favorite of the three (and I liked the second book better).

TM

Public internet posting to Paigs
 

What the fuck were you doing reading a book in a bar full of 21-year old, drunk, horny co-eds?

TM

Public internet posting to Paigs
 

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

The correct answer is, "How old are you?" She will follow up with "How old do you think I am?" and that's when you go way high or way low. Then you can move to another topic (like her tight sweater) seamlessly. If she answers straight up, "21," Then you say, "Bullshit. Let me see your ID. Who snuck you in here?" She will either produce (in which case you can tell her how horrible she looks on the ID, which will allow you to compliment her on her current appearance after she pretends to be offended) or won't (in which case you enter the next level of flirting: "Why not? What do you have to hide? Etc."). Jesus. I thought this was standard operation, no matter what your age.

TM