The CNN of Reality TV
 

Does anyone have the name of the Japanese show? I want to get myself a seasons pass for it on my Tivo. I'm so in.

Also, I'm a big fan of Aqua Teen Hungerforce. Thanks for whoever provided the tip.

Melrose Place ReRuns
 

It appears that Melrose Place is being shown on the Style Network. I found it on one evening after the Melrose Place discussion here. I don't know anything about the Style Network, just that is is close to the Food Network on my cable channel list. A schedule for today shows that it is on a 5:00 p.m.

http://www.stylenetwork.com/sapp/Gri...unday&time=aft

Thus, Paigow and others can either tape or TiVo it until the DVD set comes out.

aV

recommendations requested
 

Thanks for the suggestion, but I really hope you're kidding.

Road Rules/Real World
 

Does anyone else think it's really, really sad that Eric (from New York) is still doing these reunion things 10 years later? I feel like imploring Calvin Klein or some other underwear manufacturer, "Please, please give this poor boy a job! He needs the boost to his self-esteem!" He's like Dennis Quaid in "Everybody's All American", living through the past, the best years of his life long ago...

p(Beth from LA is still doing this stuff too, but she annoys me so I'm not so sympathetic)j

recommendations requested
 

The gas needle is more fun.

Boring buffy stuff
 

Morally ambiguous characters always lose arms on these shows (see Krychek on the X-Files and Lindsay on Angel). I'm hoping Conner loses at least a digit.

Yeah, she was pregnant. The baby was born in March. For a brief second early on this season, I just thought that they'd finally allowed her to gain weight. Joss wrote in a joke about her, er, expanding bustline in that episode he did about them all reverting back to highschool.


Not kidding, there are major spoilers below.
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I thought she was just doing a Gillian Andersen lay there and don't move thing, but I wouldn't be surprised. I think she'll be around if the show gets renewed, but it'd be interesting to see in what form.

Heh heh heh. I was rather relieved to see that too, and it looks like they're going to be even that much more intertwined with W&H next year. My understanding is that Christian Kane was asking for too much money, and that's why he got written off. Aside from that Angelina Jolie movie, I haven't seen him since he's left the show, and his music isn't that good at all. I'm hopeful that they bring him back, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Road Rules/Real World
 

Eric will never make it back to his glory days as host of The Grind. Everything from here on out is just a sad attempt to find a market for his playa self.

Beth is a running joke that will never stop being funny. I hope she continues to do the cahllenges and continues to be the first person voted off for the rest of her life. I hated her while the show was airing (comparing the David sheet thing to rape would be laughable if it wasn't so damn sad that she really believed it), and her continued participation in stuff where everyone obviously thinks she's a loser is so fitting. Oh, Beth, you never got your big acting break? Quelle surprise!

n(and don't even get me started on Puck)cs

The CNN of Reality TV
 

My cable company shows the reruns on their community channel. You know, the one that has the high school sports show on it.

I wish they would stop inviting Puck to all those reunion/competition shows. He's entertaining for a very short period of time and he always gets thrown off for breaking the rules. But the next time there is a RW/RR challenge - he pops up again. He's made a career out of breaking the rules.

recommendations requested
 

To say nothing of the enduring value of the box.

http://www.blackboxwines.com/blackbox_color-250w.jpg

Stick with me, Felicity -- stick with me. First class, all the way.

Yours,
Peter

http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Events/1923...904559_400.jpg

Boring buffy stuff
 

Ah, the rich cultural inheritance of Star Wars.

D(I AM YOUR FATHER, CONNOR!)S

Boring buffy stuff
 

Rich comic book and television tradition states that babies, once born, cannot stick around for too long. They must be either kidnapped, killed off, growth accelorated, or end up in the custody of a parent that is not a regular cast member. Babies are boring after the fourth episode. On soap operas, they're born, are cute for a few episodes, get shipped off to boarding school and come back two years later fully formed. In supernatural shows, almost inevitably, the baby is taken to another dimension or time, raised by someone with different values, and then brought back to adapt to this crazy place we call earth. (See the life of Nathan Christopher Charles Dayspring-Summers aka Cable of the X-Men for a perfect example of this.) Then they're adults and they're fair game. It was obvious that this was going to happen to Conner the second Angel named him after the main character in Terminator.

Princess Purse
 

This weekend, I had an incredible urge to buy a new handbag. After wading through the usual assortment of Coach, D&B and Kate Spade bags and finding them all, well, not that interesting, I decided on a Brighton bag which I bought at a little boutique that carries Brighton bags exclusively.

What was odd was that Brighton actually names its bags and that the salesperson kept referring to the bag by name. After I had purchased the bag, em put "her" in a flannel "sleeper bag", inside a fancy box and, finally, in a shopping bag stuffed with fluffs of fancy tissue paper. I was quite self-conscious carrying the thing home and kept fearing that Mary Engelbreit would jump out and say boo. Has anyone else bought one of these bags? The whole personification thing has me a little creeped out. I just wanted a purse for goshsakes.

AM(afraid Gigi will refuse to go out with my prole shoes)M

recommendations requested
 

Handsome, I don't drink white wine, unless it's bubbly.

And of course, the red can't be too grapey.

Princess Purse
 

I think you mean "pursonification". That is funny, although not a practice not totally unheard of - I have some items of clothing that I have named.

Princess Purse
 

I'm spewing unintentional puns today. Sorry.

BTW, I think it's perfectly normal to name lucky undergarments but having someone else name my purse creeped me out.

Speaking of digits....
 

My grandfather's birthday is coming up, and for me it is a time
to reminisce. Unfortunately, he is no longer with us to enjoy the
momentous anniversary.

The long walks we used to take. The long drives. The special
trips he would make to pick me up so I could spend weekends with
him, and the advice he used to give! Much was wasted because I
was young when he died.

If he were alive today and sharing his gems of wisdom, I'd be a
better man. Those gems were well and good, but the one I remember
most, the jewel in the crown of grandfatherly advice, came when
he paused, looked me in the eye and said, "Son, don't mess around
with a woman with big hands. It makes your dick look small."

Reality Crap
 

We own Jackass. Mr. Kiss watches all or part of it at least once a week. I am ashamed to admit I sometimes watch it with him.

Yellow snow cone and the ass rockets still make me cringe. But my favorite part of the whole movie is when the Spanish speaking doctor tells Ryan Dunn (I think?) that he should not tell anyone about the "carro juguete." "I know, you know, that is too many people already."

Reality Crap
 

I had to look away at yellow sno-cone (also the end of the scene in the bathroom fixtures store -- eeew), and the butt rockets was like a train wreck -- I just couldn't look away, despite the horror!

My favorite was the "puddle surfing" when the guy gets blind-sided by an errant shopping cart. OUCH!

Reality Crap
 

I've heard from those in the know that the version they submitted to the studio had a much longer scene involving the car. A scene called "beer enema" was deleted, even from the DVD. Probably for the best.

str(yellow snow-cone also made me gag and look-away)8

Reality Crap
 

You mean the Rent-A-Car crash derby? Or the scene in the car before the trip to the bathroom fixtures supply store?

Reality Crap
 

I think he means the toy car I referenced.

Reality Crap
 

Oooooooooooh. Yes. That would make sense.

(ew)

That the guy who would pole vault into a river of shit would not do that particular "stunt" is really saying something.

(I gagged and looked away from the river of shit as well -- that was off-the-charts disgusting.)

Reality Crap
 

I have a high tolerance for gross, so long as it does not involve vomit. I've thought about watching this but have been too worried about the vomit factor. Should I go ahead and see it?

AM(can't bear to watch The Meaning of Life much past the discussion of french ticklers)M

Reality Crap
 

Depends what you mean by vomit. Actually, I take that back, no matter what you mean by vomit (meaning, vomit-inducing or actual vomit), there is plenty of it in this movie.

The ratio of vomit-inducing scenes to actual vomiting footage is probably about 1:1, I'd say, perhaps with a slight tilt towards vomit-inducing (but that's just me...)

Reality Crap (literally....)
 

The fact that the subject on which I've had the most input (or at least the longest string of posts) involves the movie Jackass just confirms my worst suspicions -- I have devolved into my husband!

Reality Crap
 

From a review:

Additionally, the following stunts on the TV show are not for you:

• Live goldfish
• Egg nog Hour of Power
• Drink a gallon of plain/chocolate/strawberry milk
• Recycled omelette

Bonus stunts to avoid (i.e., not about vomit, but potentially vomit-inducing):

• Snort and hock the earthworm
• Close-up of pimple squeezing
• Chris Pontius Playgirl photo shoot

Consider yourself warned.

Reality Crap
 

I forgot about the paper cuts -- with a manila envelope, no less. Damn! ouch.

(This movie has had a more profound effect on me than I would have expected.)

Reality Crap
 

I just don't get it.

Reality Crap
 

I'm with the wonk. I have a low tolerance for gross and you guys are making me queasy. Good thing Tex Lex hasn't been around today; if she attempts to play ketchup she might end up on bedrest.

Reality Crap
 

Thank you very much. I can't see how watching or even hearing vomit is even remotely entertaining but I am a chick, so there you go.

AM(not really a)M

Speaking of digits....
 

Grandpa died this year, at 99. I can relate, but I got lucky and recognized what we had slightly before that happened, and my kids got great stories about hiding from the WWII draft in Alaska.

Unfortunately, he was the World's Greatest Racist, but his best friend for the last twenty years of his life was the old black guy that I met at the blues club and brought home with his guitar. They spent twenty years fishing, grandpa kept calling him "nigger", and Leo kept calling grandpa "cracker", and they took turns crying with each other over their life tragedies. Best buds. My kids still wonder how they could do that.

He just kept telling me that, penis size notwithstanding, I should avoid women. I think he was right.

Speaking of digits....
 

That statement is like a "kick me" sign on your back, bilmore. I am laughing so hard I can hardly hit reply.

Speaking of digits....
 

I hear Martin Lawrence has locked up the movie rights, and will play both roles.

recommendations requested
 

My wife recommends Neutrogena Instant Bronze Foam.

Biggest fashion victim of the weekend
 

I don't know how I forgot to mention this in my Coachella summary:

The biggest fashion trainwreck of the weekend, "celebrity" category goes to . . .

Ryan Starr, who looked like she was wearing a bright green one-piece bathing suit with sleeves over a very low hanging blue and red poofy skirt-type thing. That said, she is a handsome woman. I can't believe Carmen went further this year than she did last year. I also can't believe I'm calling Ryan Starr a celebrity.

There were plenty of non-celebrity fashion victims involving wife-beaters and Heineken flags turned into headwear, but that's perhaps to be expected deep in Riverside County, after all.

str8

Coachella
 

I don't have the time for a full Coachella review, but I will later in the week. All you need to know is that The White Stripes Rule. They had the most amazing set of Coachella by far (though Iggy rocked, as str8 said).

For all of the snarky comments about G. Love, I am pleased to report that he had an overflow crowd in his tent, full of enthusiastic fans. Apparently, there is no shortage of whiteboys who feel they're funky when they listen to him. Maybe he's been playing the HORDE tour for a number of years, and growing his audience that way.

Str8, the Tortoise album you should check first is TNT, after that I would recommend Millions Now Living Will Never Die. I didn't like Standards as much as those two.

I didn't have a VIP wristband, so I had to be out with the people. As this is the Fashion Board, I'll just add that apparently, Dumpy is the new black. I have never seen so many dumpy-looking women in Southern California before. Moreover, this was the first time that I had been to any event in Southern California where I didn't see at least one stunning woman. Now, granted, maybe all of the pretty women were VIPs, and maybe they only came for the nighttime shows, but the beautiful people are not the music fans they pretend to be.

Remind me to tell you about Fischerspooner the next time I hit the boards, I have to earn a living this week.

COahella/Calverton
 

Story on the Coachella fest. http://www.nytimes.com/2003/04/29/ar...ic/29COAC.html

Question: where is Calverton, NY? This might be wroth checking out, esp in light of my recent comment regarding the state of music today. Also, is Blur the band that sang "Hey man nice shot?" I have a feelnig, not, but cant quite place it.

And speaking of music, I was at the gym and there was this REALLY annoying droning on and on and on song that would nto end. I listened to what the singer was saying adn he was saying "cry me a river". This is Justin Timberlake? He totally sucks. I think this song may be worse than Cher's Believe, my alltime most hated song I hear at the gym.

Mr. Personality
 

After the discussion last week, I watched for the first time last night. Wow. I am drawn to it, and yet repulsed by it at the same time. As for motivational speaker guy, besides the fact that I think he's a psycho/sociopath, I would have given him the boot for his repeated use of "Quote. Unquote." AAAAAAAAAGGHHH!!! That's worse than air quotes (which I have to admit I use on occasion when I am being ironic). As for the lawyer guy (part of the MN mafia, I believe?) Dude, get a haircut. I found his demasking a little anticlimactic, especially after the dramticc "DUDE!" exclaimation from the commercial. It was good though, that ML told him he was getting the boot anyway. I thought that her face looked weird though... like she was scrunching it up in counfusion for the entire time. The dark room was an invitation for som action ala Sarah on Joe Millionaire. What a disappointment. Hayley is pretty, but I couldn't believe she was shocked about what went on with the women at the house. She's also a moron for leaving the hot tub to go talk to psycho motivational speaker and it was creepy how he was spying on her when she was with the other guy. I cannot get past the asks being disturbing. Especially when they were hanging out on the boat and a couple were lying out like they were trying to get a tan. Weird.

COahella/Calverton
 

Don't ask me how I remember this, but the band who did that song is not Blur, it's Filter.

spooky(font of useless information)fish

COahella/Calverton
 

Calverton is Eastern Long Island, near Riverhead (end of LIE).