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-   -   Congratulations Slave and Catrin!!! (http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=814)

Greedy,Greedy,Greedy 01-07-2009 04:36 PM

Encore! Encore!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Not Bob (Post 376685)
You are all too kind.

I must say, the "somehwere around Darien at the edge of the golf course" line made me giggle as I typed it. Ah, the joys of the Nutmeg State.

Do you have any of their other IM exchanges?

Penske_Account 01-07-2009 04:39 PM

Re: So
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by taxwonk (Post 376687)
Is he coming our way?

I was going to next weekend, but I am too disappointed by all the Blago/Burris stuff........

sunnybunny 01-07-2009 05:04 PM

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Penske_Account (Post 376671)
In fairness, have we substantiated that it has ever happened? I thought the really fast IM guy was a` friend of an old BF, or am I confusing it? Or did you do both?

I'm not sure who the both are, but yes.

Penske_Account 01-07-2009 05:11 PM

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by sunnybunny (Post 376692)
I'm not sure who the both are, but yes.

Good onya Sheila!

Sidd Finch 01-07-2009 05:28 PM

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by sunnybunny (Post 376663)
]

runner, and no idea, but not an ounce of fat on him. I know you hate it when I'm fucking someone who is faster than you.

But you aren't. That's the one thing you actually made clear.

Penske_Account 01-07-2009 05:45 PM

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sidd Finch (Post 376695)
But you aren't. That's the one thing you actually made clear.

Hey, yeah, what he said. Thanks for getting me backside there Sidd, I guess there is something to this post-partisan world afterall.

notcasesensitive 01-07-2009 06:28 PM

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by sunnybunny (Post 376553)
That's my thought exactly--at this point there is nothing you can do to make them want you, just make them NOT want you...my only concern is that the dog plans were something I suggested and he agreed to, so I'm not sure whether I'm supposed to follow up and suggest details or leave him be to see if he'll take the iniative himself. Manners would say it's my job to follow up, but my instinct is to leave it be and if he wants to do it, he'll follow up.

I'm late on this thread, but still willing to chime in. Go with your instinct, not your manners. I'm not a big follower of The Rules, but if someone says they aren't sure they want to date you, the impetus really is on him to contact you if he ever wants to do anything again. Rejectee gets a pass on any manners requirements to follow up on tentative plans.

notcasesensitive 01-07-2009 06:36 PM

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield (Post 376587)
I offer this with the caveat that although I consider myself neurotic, many people close to me have suggested I am actually not neurotic - more deluded, specifically, among other things, about being neurotic. Guide yourself accordingly in taking my advice.

Could someone please make me a counted cross stitch pillow with this on it??

Replaced_Texan 01-07-2009 06:50 PM

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by notcasesensitive (Post 376702)
Could someone please make me a counted cross stitch pillow with this on it??

Here's a pattern for you.

Sidd Finch 01-07-2009 07:09 PM

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by notcasesensitive (Post 376702)
Could someone please make me a counted cross stitch pillow with this on it??

I'm thinking of using it as part of my signature on any emails to clients.

sebastian_dangerfield 01-07-2009 07:20 PM

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Replaced_Texan (Post 376703)

This is giving Not Bob's dialogue a run for its money.

His all caps lines, however, remain all but out of reach.

J. Fred Muggs 01-07-2009 07:51 PM

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ThurgreedMarshall (Post 376574)
He sounds like a pain in the ass with a lot of baggage to me.

TM

She sure does.

J. Fred Muggs 01-07-2009 07:56 PM

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by dtb (Post 376617)
I agree with Hank on this one. If a chick is really into a guy, she cannot get enough of his cock. Most guys appreciate a chick who is really into his cock, and will do what it takes to maintain her insatiable interest in dick-sucking and related activities.

In other words, her interest in his cock is related to how satisfied she is with the relationship.

(In other news, the sun is hot.)

The kid has graduated from just IM apparently.

Hank Chinaski 01-07-2009 08:46 PM

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by notcasesensitive (Post 376701)
I'm late on this thread, but still willing to chime in. Go with your instinct, not your manners. I'm not a big follower of The Rules, but if someone says they aren't sure they want to date you, the impetus really is on him to contact you if he ever wants to do anything again. Rejectee gets a pass on any manners requirements to follow up on tentative plans.

just to avoid any confusion, this advice doesn't apply to the type of dates Ironweed goes on where he has to pick from a roomful of girls, and sometimes hesitates. NTTAWWT.

Hank Chinaski 01-07-2009 08:49 PM

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by J. Fred Muggs (Post 376709)
The kid has graduated from just IM apparently.

no. dtb has tired of me is all:(

I had my love interest yin/yang of fringey and that is on sabbitical, but now my intellectual yin/yang dtb has fired me:(

I almost need "Penske fucks my wife" posts to keep viable here.

Hank Chinaski 01-07-2009 09:11 PM

Re: Congratulations Slave and Catrin!!!
 
mitch albom, Whom I hate, both his writing and as a person, wrote a pro-Detroit rant for si.com.

Fun fact?
  • Wait. Here's a better one. In the last 45 years -- or since Ford took over -- the Lions have had 13 non-interim head coaches, and not a single one was ever a head coach in the NFL again. Not one. Rick Forzano. Tommy Hudspeth. Monte Clark. Darryl Rogers. Wayne Fontes. The list goes on. Nobody wanted them after Detroit. The Lions don't just hurt your reputation, they permanently flatten your tires.

read the rest maybe?

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/200...oit/index.html

Diane_Keaton 01-07-2009 09:54 PM

Re: Congratulations Slave and Catrin!!!
 
Appropros of nothing, is anyone aware of the meaning behind the lyrics of Plush by STP? Okay I assume there's a dead body somewhere but other than that?

dtb 01-07-2009 10:07 PM

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski (Post 376713)
no. dtb has tired of me is all:(

I had my love interest yin/yang of fringey and that is on sabbitical, but now my intellectual yin/yang dtb has fired me:(

I almost need "Penske fucks my wife" posts to keep viable here.


You told me you weren't on IM.

Did you LIE to me?!?

Penske_Account 01-07-2009 10:52 PM

Re: My Trusty Internet Friends (Hi Thurgreed)
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by dtb (Post 376719)
You told me you weren't on IM.

Did you LIE to me?!?

his wife bootyIMs me.

Atticus Grinch 01-08-2009 01:10 AM

Re: Congratulations Slave and Catrin!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Diane_Keaton (Post 376718)
Appropros of nothing, is anyone aware of the meaning behind the lyrics of Plush by STP? Okay I assume there's a dead body somewhere but other than that?

WTTW, one or two of the posters here have gotten stuck with a "thing" that's their "thing" -- Slave being Shave, Ruysbroeck being into analingus, new york doll being into spanking, Penske sucking cocks at interstate rest stops. Think carefully about whether rotting corpses should really be your "thing."

Jack Manfred 01-08-2009 02:47 AM

Re: Top 25 Funniest Movies
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by dtb (Post 376353)
Agree with 8 (not sure if it's laugh-out-loud funny in more than a few places, but it is an outstanding movie)

I assume you mean Trading Places (the Eddie Murphy/Dan Akroyd vehicle) and not the Lifetime home-decorating show.

Right. I preferred the BBC's Changing Rooms to Trading Places, whether comparing hostesses or designers.

Jack Manfred 01-08-2009 03:08 AM

Re: Top 25 Funniest Movies
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Gattigap (Post 376370)
I don't know if Elf is one of the top 25 funny movies or not, but I am putting it on the fucking list if, for no other reason, this one.

For God's sake, Zooey is singing in the shower, and you wish to denigrate this piece of art? Hand in your Fan Club Card immediately.

Elf didn't make my list, but Zooey does have a beautiful voice. Immediately after watching that scene I thought, why doesn't she make an album? Last year, she did, as one half of She & Him. If you like her voice, buy She & Him, Volume One. M. Ward handles guitar and production duties and Zooey writes some quality songs and covers Smokey Robinson & The Miracles "You Really Got A Hold On Me" and the Beatles "I Should Have Known Better."

I think it's the best record of 2008. So does Paste Magazine, for what that's worth. "Feed The Animals" by Girl Talk might be the only serious competition, but that's such a different kettle of fish.

Jack Manfred 01-08-2009 03:30 AM

Re: Top 25 Funniest Movies -- Old Fart Edition
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Greedy,Greedy,Greedy (Post 376406)
I'm still working on my list.

Here's my first shot at a list, in no particular order, and the oldest among them will date me:

Benny & Joon

A couple are sentimental favorites - I Married an Axe Murderer and Garp have special meanings for me.

If the list was for best romantic comedies of the past 25 years, I'd include both of these. Mike Myers seems inherently uncomfortable being a romantic comedy lead, but that's used to his advantage in SIMAAM. (Yes, I've heard that's because he's gay. Is the parlance of the board still that he might be "a gay," or is it "one of the gays"?)

And Benny & Joon might have been the first film I saw with the always lovely Julianne Moore and the always funny Oliver Platt.

Then again, I don't think you could make a list of 25 watchable romantic comedies MADE in the last 25 years.

Jack Manfred 01-08-2009 03:40 AM

Re: Top 25 Funniest Movies -- Old Fart Edition
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch (Post 376439)
I have said this before and realize it's an unpopular opinion, but anyone who remembers Clerks as a funny movie never watched it a second time. I hold no grudge against someone who watches it once and says "I laughed," because I did, but a second viewing of that movie is just intolerable. Ditto Better Off Dead. Maybe a second viewing when it's still 1985 and you're still on dope and in high school, but today, in 2009? You couldn't pay me to watch it. I'll quote it from memory, but I'll never want to watch it again. So it's in the same category as Clerks -- quotable doesn't equal funniest.

A good test is, would I pay $30 to get it on Blu-Ray? Many things on people's list, the answer is yes, but not Elf, not Clerks, not Better Off Dead.

Dissent in part as to Clerks. I think it's watchable every couple of years or so. It's not something I'd watch if it was playing this Saturday afternoon on cable, but it was funny in a new way at the time, so that's why it made the nether regions of my list.

Dissent as to Better Off Dead. In fact, I might just want to swap out Clerks for Better Off Dead, as I forgot about it when making my list. Parts of it are 80's-dated, but I still like it. And I'm not alone. Why spend $30 for a Blu-Ray disk when you can meet Monique Junot (and Savage Steve Holland and Booger from Revenge of the Nerds for only $10? Besides, do you know the street value of this mountain? Everyone from the board could afford to go.

Jack Manfred 01-08-2009 04:58 AM

Re: Congratulations Slave and Catrin!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Diane_Keaton (Post 376718)
Appropros of nothing, is anyone aware of the meaning behind the lyrics of Plush by STP? Okay I assume there's a dead body somewhere but other than that?

Wikipedia reports that "The song's chord structure was inspired by DeLeo's love of ragtime music, and its lyrics were loosely based on a newspaper article Weiland had read about a girl who had been found dead in an area outside of San Diego. Weiland has also said that the song's lyrics are a metaphor for a failed relationship."

Speaking of failed relationships and following soup sandwich's post, it's important for single women to know that all men fit into one of three categories.

Category One: Simple Man
The overwhelming majority of men (at least 85%) fit into this category. As long as these men have sex and dinner, everything is OK. If you've just had sex and ask a Category One man what he's thinking about, the truthful answer is probably food-related, i.e. "How can I get her to make me a sandwich?" If a Category One man ate before having sex, the truthful answer to the question "What are you thinking about?" is "Nothing." Some women initially find this infuriating, but with time, many women grow to appreciate the fact that a Category One man who is full and just-laid is, for all intents and purposes, equivalent to an appliance in stand-by mode - there's a light on, but the machine isn't actually doing anything at the moment. Once women realize that they're with a Category One man (and gentle reader, you almost certainly are), life becomes easier and the relationship can become almost as simple as he is.

Category Two: Complex Man
While many Category One men think they are complex, if they thought about it even half-seriously, they'd realize that whatever problems they have diminish at least temporarily, with sex & dinner. See Sebby and his "neurosis." Only ten percent of men truly have ambitions beyond sex & dinner. To be sure, the Category Two man wants sex & dinner; after all, there's no need to refuse the pleasures of life. The Category Two man just thinks there are other pleasures to be had - public service, the arts, etc. (Having said that, almost all politicians, artists, etc. are Category One men - the mayor just wants some brisket and a blowjob; the painter paints in the hope that his assistant will ditch that smock so they can fuck... and then go out for Thai.) The Complex Man actually remains unfulfilled if his life revolves solely around food and women. Many smart Category One men will pretend to be Category Two men because seeming to be complex is the only way to score certain hot chicks. A woman who demands that her Category Two man focus solely on her will ruin the relationship. A woman has to accept the essential truth of a Category Two man for a successful relationship, and many women can do so.

Category Three: Complicated Man
While the Complex Man still wants sex & dinner, the Complicated Man may not appreciate either (or in the truly fucked-up case - both). Thankfully, at most, five percent of men are truly complicated. Almost all of them don't know what they want, can't find pleasure in anything, and are cursed. Some use that curse to produce great works of art or to achieve greatness in their fields. Some bona fide holy men are able to truly, to completely reject the pleasures of this world for the promise of the next. A handful find pleasure in some obscure field and isolate themselves from the world and its demands - perhaps to study patterns of butterfly migration or string theory. The takeaway for women is that the Category Three man is undateable. And the rare woman who finds herself attracted only to Category Three men? Well, she is more cursed than those she desires.

Now sunnybunny thinks she's dealing with a Category Two man who needs time to put his life back together in a meaningful way. But you don't need to read a dozen posts to realize that he's just a simple man who is not that into her.

dtb 01-08-2009 09:31 AM

Re: Top 25 Funniest Movies -- Old Fart Edition
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Manfred (Post 376734)
If the list was for best romantic comedies of the past 25 years, I'd include both of these. Mike Myers seems inherently uncomfortable being a romantic comedy lead, but that's used to his advantage in SIMAAM. (Yes, I've heard that's because he's gay. Is the parlance of the board still that he might be "a gay," or is it "one of the gays"?)

And Benny & Joon might have been the first film I saw with the always lovely Julianne Moore and the always funny Oliver Platt.

Then again, I don't think you could make a list of 25 watchable romantic comedies MADE in the last 25 years.

Oliver Platt lives in my neighborhood, here in the capital of Not-Quite-Household-Name Actors.

Diane_Keaton 01-08-2009 09:35 AM

Re: Congratulations Slave and Catrin!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Manfred (Post 376736)
Speaking of failed relationships and following soup sandwich's post, it's important for single women to know that all men fit into one of three categories.

Category One: Simple Man
The overwhelming majority of men (at least 85%) fit into this category. As long as these men have sex and dinner, everything is OK. If you've just had sex and ask a Category One man what he's thinking about, the truthful answer is probably food-related, i.e. "How can I get her to make me a sandwich?" If a Category One man ate before having sex, the truthful answer to the question "What are you thinking about?" is "Nothing." Some women initially find this infuriating, but with time, many women grow to appreciate the fact that a Category One man who is full and just-laid is, for all intents and purposes, equivalent to an appliance in stand-by mode - there's a light on, but the machine isn't actually doing anything at the moment. Once women realize that they're with a Category One man (and gentle reader, you almost certainly are), life becomes easier and the relationship can become almost as simple as he is.

Category Two: Complex Man
While many Category One men think they are complex, if they thought about it even half-seriously, they'd realize that whatever problems they have diminish at least temporarily, with sex & dinner. See Sebby and his "neurosis." Only ten percent of men truly have ambitions beyond sex & dinner. To be sure, the Category Two man wants sex & dinner; after all, there's no need to refuse the pleasures of life. The Category Two man just thinks there are other pleasures to be had - public service, the arts, etc. (Having said that, almost all politicians, artists, etc. are Category One men - the mayor just wants some brisket and a blowjob; the painter paints in the hope that his assistant will ditch that smock so they can fuck... and then go out for Thai.) The Complex Man actually remains unfulfilled if his life revolves solely around food and women. Many smart Category One men will pretend to be Category Two men because seeming to be complex is the only way to score certain hot chicks. A woman who demands that her Category Two man focus solely on her will ruin the relationship. A woman has to accept the essential truth of a Category Two man for a successful relationship, and many women can do so.

Category Three: Complicated Man
While the Complex Man still wants sex & dinner, the Complicated Man may not appreciate either (or in the truly fucked-up case - both). Thankfully, at most, five percent of men are truly complicated. Almost all of them don't know what they want, can't find pleasure in anything, and are cursed. Some use that curse to produce great works of art or to achieve greatness in their fields. Some bona fide holy men are able to truly, to completely reject the pleasures of this world for the promise of the next. A handful find pleasure in some obscure field and isolate themselves from the world and its demands - perhaps to study patterns of butterfly migration or string theory. The takeaway for women is that the Category Three man is undateable. And the rare woman who finds herself attracted only to Category Three men? Well, she is more cursed than those she desires.

You shouldn't have posted this here b/c you could have published this.

Pretty Little Flower 01-08-2009 10:02 AM

Re: Top 25 Funniest Movies
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Manfred (Post 376733)
Elf didn't make my list, but Zooey does have a beautiful voice. Immediately after watching that scene I thought, why doesn't she make an album? Last year, she did, as one half of She & Him. If you like her voice, buy She & Him, Volume One. M. Ward handles guitar and production duties and Zooey writes some quality songs and covers Smokey Robinson & The Miracles "You Really Got A Hold On Me" and the Beatles "I Should Have Known Better."

I think it's the best record of 2008. So does Paste Magazine, for what that's worth. "Feed The Animals" by Girl Talk might be the only serious competition, but that's such a different kettle of fish.


"Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?" was a guilty pleasure of mine. Until I heard it in the supermarket this weekend. Bummer. Also, the video, despite its faux-macabre imagery, is a little on the precious side. She does have a nice voice, though.

sebastian_dangerfield 01-08-2009 10:19 AM

Re: Top 25 Funniest Movies -- Old Fart Edition
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by dtb (Post 376737)
Oliver Platt lives in my neighborhood, here in the capital of Not-Quite-Household-Name Actors.

Next you seen him, tell him you loved his work in Lake Placid.

Don't research this, just say it to him.

Pretty Little Flower 01-08-2009 10:19 AM

Re: Congratulations Slave and Catrin!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Manfred (Post 376736)
Wikipedia reports that "The song's chord structure was inspired by DeLeo's love of ragtime music, and its lyrics were loosely based on a newspaper article Weiland had read about a girl who had been found dead in an area outside of San Diego. Weiland has also said that the song's lyrics are a metaphor for a failed relationship."

Speaking of failed relationships and following soup sandwich's post, it's important for single women to know that all men fit into one of three categories.

Category One: Simple Man
The overwhelming majority of men (at least 85%) fit into this category. As long as these men have sex and dinner, everything is OK. If you've just had sex and ask a Category One man what he's thinking about, the truthful answer is probably food-related, i.e. "How can I get her to make me a sandwich?" If a Category One man ate before having sex, the truthful answer to the question "What are you thinking about?" is "Nothing." Some women initially find this infuriating, but with time, many women grow to appreciate the fact that a Category One man who is full and just-laid is, for all intents and purposes, equivalent to an appliance in stand-by mode - there's a light on, but the machine isn't actually doing anything at the moment. Once women realize that they're with a Category One man (and gentle reader, you almost certainly are), life becomes easier and the relationship can become almost as simple as he is.

Category Two: Complex Man
While many Category One men think they are complex, if they thought about it even half-seriously, they'd realize that whatever problems they have diminish at least temporarily, with sex & dinner. See Sebby and his "neurosis." Only ten percent of men truly have ambitions beyond sex & dinner. To be sure, the Category Two man wants sex & dinner; after all, there's no need to refuse the pleasures of life. The Category Two man just thinks there are other pleasures to be had - public service, the arts, etc. (Having said that, almost all politicians, artists, etc. are Category One men - the mayor just wants some brisket and a blowjob; the painter paints in the hope that his assistant will ditch that smock so they can fuck... and then go out for Thai.) The Complex Man actually remains unfulfilled if his life revolves solely around food and women. Many smart Category One men will pretend to be Category Two men because seeming to be complex is the only way to score certain hot chicks. A woman who demands that her Category Two man focus solely on her will ruin the relationship. A woman has to accept the essential truth of a Category Two man for a successful relationship, and many women can do so.

Category Three: Complicated Man
While the Complex Man still wants sex & dinner, the Complicated Man may not appreciate either (or in the truly fucked-up case - both). Thankfully, at most, five percent of men are truly complicated. Almost all of them don't know what they want, can't find pleasure in anything, and are cursed. Some use that curse to produce great works of art or to achieve greatness in their fields. Some bona fide holy men are able to truly, to completely reject the pleasures of this world for the promise of the next. A handful find pleasure in some obscure field and isolate themselves from the world and its demands - perhaps to study patterns of butterfly migration or string theory. The takeaway for women is that the Category Three man is undateable. And the rare woman who finds herself attracted only to Category Three men? Well, she is more cursed than those she desires.

Now sunnybunny thinks she's dealing with a Category Two man who needs time to put his life back together in a meaningful way. But you don't need to read a dozen posts to realize that he's just a simple man who is not that into her.

I'm a Category One, with the exception that I am not all that concerned about dinner.

By the way, none of your links are working.

sebastian_dangerfield 01-08-2009 10:22 AM

Re: Congratulations Slave and Catrin!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower (Post 376741)
I'm a Category One, with the exception that I am not all that concerned about dinner.

By the way, none of your links are working.

There was a time, long before the invention of eye-talics, when underlining emphasized text. I don't expect you to appreciate this, but a Complicated Man like Jack understands.

ETA: I'm not saying it was a good time, mind you, as I happen to hate underlining.

Did you just call me Coltrane? 01-08-2009 10:31 AM

Re: General announcement and warning
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Not Bob (Post 376646)
GrammarGoddess has signed on

Friend_of_John_Barleycorn: At last! Listen, d, I really need your advice about something.

GrammarGoddess: POOP!

Friend_of_John_Barleycorn: Uh, is the timing bad? You busy?

GrammarGoddess: DO YOU LIKE SPONGE BOB?

Friend_of_John_Barleycorn: Huh?

Friend_of_John_Barleycorn: Anyway, how does this line sound to you:

“We were somewhere around Darien on the edge of the golf course when the gin began to take hold.”

GrammarGoddess: BOOGERS!!!!!!!!

Friend_of_John_Barleycorn: Jesus, I knew it. It’s bad. It really sucks. Jesus!

GrammarGoddess: MOOMY SAYS JESUS DIED FOR OUR SINS.

Friend_of_John_Barleycorn: LOL!!!

Friend_of_John_Barleycorn: You always know the right thing to say.

Friend_of_John_Barleycorn: Well, I better get back to work on that pleading. [redacted] is really cracking the whip today.

GrammarGoddess: MOMY IS FIXING [redacted]'s PANTS.

Friend_of_John_Barleycorn: Huh?

GrammarGoddess: BY COMPUTER FRIEND!!! I LIKE YOU!!!

Friend_of_John_Barleycorn: [blush] Be careful, man. My wife sometimes snoops, you know?

Friend_of_John_Barleycorn: But, well, I lik

GrammarGoddess has signed off

Friend_of_John_Barleycorn: e you, too!

Friend_of_John_Barleycorn: Fuck!

Friend_of_John_Barleycorn has signed off

W.
O.
W.

This is almost as good as Fuck You Penguin.

Did you just call me Coltrane? 01-08-2009 10:34 AM

Re: So
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield (Post 376577)
Like you've never IM'd with a six year old.

8-year olds, dude.

http://lanceseymour.com/jesus.jpg

Diane_Keaton 01-08-2009 10:41 AM

Re: Congratulations Slave and Catrin!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower (Post 376741)
I'm a Category One, with the exception that I am not all that concerned about dinner.

Translation: Box Lunch is fine by me.

sebastian_dangerfield 01-08-2009 10:43 AM

Re: Congratulations Slave and Catrin!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Manfred (Post 376736)
Wikipedia reports that "The song's chord structure was inspired by DeLeo's love of ragtime music, and its lyrics were loosely based on a newspaper article Weiland had read about a girl who had been found dead in an area outside of San Diego. Weiland has also said that the song's lyrics are a metaphor for a failed relationship."

Speaking of failed relationships and following soup sandwich's post, it's important for single women to know that all men fit into one of three categories.

Category One: Simple Man
The overwhelming majority of men (at least 85%) fit into this category. As long as these men have sex and dinner, everything is OK. If you've just had sex and ask a Category One man what he's thinking about, the truthful answer is probably food-related, i.e. "How can I get her to make me a sandwich?" If a Category One man ate before having sex, the truthful answer to the question "What are you thinking about?" is "Nothing." Some women initially find this infuriating, but with time, many women grow to appreciate the fact that a Category One man who is full and just-laid is, for all intents and purposes, equivalent to an appliance in stand-by mode - there's a light on, but the machine isn't actually doing anything at the moment. Once women realize that they're with a Category One man (and gentle reader, you almost certainly are), life becomes easier and the relationship can become almost as simple as he is.

Category Two: Complex Man
While many Category One men think they are complex, if they thought about it even half-seriously, they'd realize that whatever problems they have diminish at least temporarily, with sex & dinner. See Sebby and his "neurosis." Only ten percent of men truly have ambitions beyond sex & dinner. To be sure, the Category Two man wants sex & dinner; after all, there's no need to refuse the pleasures of life. The Category Two man just thinks there are other pleasures to be had - public service, the arts, etc. (Having said that, almost all politicians, artists, etc. are Category One men - the mayor just wants some brisket and a blowjob; the painter paints in the hope that his assistant will ditch that smock so they can fuck... and then go out for Thai.) The Complex Man actually remains unfulfilled if his life revolves solely around food and women. Many smart Category One men will pretend to be Category Two men because seeming to be complex is the only way to score certain hot chicks. A woman who demands that her Category Two man focus solely on her will ruin the relationship. A woman has to accept the essential truth of a Category Two man for a successful relationship, and many women can do so.

Category Three: Complicated Man
While the Complex Man still wants sex & dinner, the Complicated Man may not appreciate either (or in the truly fucked-up case - both). Thankfully, at most, five percent of men are truly complicated. Almost all of them don't know what they want, can't find pleasure in anything, and are cursed. Some use that curse to produce great works of art or to achieve greatness in their fields. Some bona fide holy men are able to truly, to completely reject the pleasures of this world for the promise of the next. A handful find pleasure in some obscure field and isolate themselves from the world and its demands - perhaps to study patterns of butterfly migration or string theory. The takeaway for women is that the Category Three man is undateable. And the rare woman who finds herself attracted only to Category Three men? Well, she is more cursed than those she desires.

Now sunnybunny thinks she's dealing with a Category Two man who needs time to put his life back together in a meaningful way. But you don't need to read a dozen posts to realize that he's just a simple man who is not that into her.

1 and 2 include the necessary assumption sex is an uncomplicated act. Shirley you jest there. I'll grant that for some dull people sex is mechanical, but 85 percent of men? That's a bit high. I'd say for most men sex is complicated as hell, but just seems simple because the processes involved in getting it and maintaining a high level of fun in it in a relationship are subtle, and mixed with a lot of subconscious, seemingly instinctual (and actually instinctual) split second decisions taking place in those processes.

Diane_Keaton 01-08-2009 10:46 AM

Re: Congratulations Slave and Catrin!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield (Post 376746)
1 and 2 include the necessary assumption sex is an uncomplicated act. Shirley you jest there. I'll grant that for some dull people sex is mechanical, but 85 percent of men? That's a bit high. I'd say for most men sex is complicated as hell, but just seems simple because the processes involved in getting it and maintaining a high level of fun in it in a relationship are subtle, and mixed with a lot of subconscious, seemingly instinctual (and actually instinctual) split second decisions taking place in those processes.

Translation: the only way to figure out what Category I fall into is to ask my wife.

Hank Chinaski 01-08-2009 10:54 AM

Re: Congratulations Slave and Catrin!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Manfred (Post 376736)
Wikipedia reports that "The song's chord structure was inspired by DeLeo's love of ragtime music, and its lyrics were loosely based on a newspaper article Weiland had read about a girl who had been found dead in an area outside of San Diego. Weiland has also said that the song's lyrics are a metaphor for a failed relationship."

If we are ever on a long car ride, i'm bringing my ipod.

Quote:

Category One: Simple Man
The overwhelming majority of men (at least 85%) fit into this category. As long as these men have sex and dinner, everything is OK.
So this is Sebby?

Quote:

Category Two: Complex Man
To be sure, the Category Two man wants sex & dinner; after all, there's no need to refuse the pleasures of life. The Category Two man just thinks there are other pleasures to be had - public service, the arts, etc.
so this is like the mods? Ty or maybe Thurgreed?

Quote:

Category Three: Complicated Man
While the Complex Man still wants sex & dinner, the Complicated Man may not appreciate either (or in the truly fucked-up case - both). Thankfully, at most, five percent of men are truly complicated. Almost all of them don't know what they want, can't find pleasure in anything, and are cursed.
Adder.

Quote:

Now sunnybunny thinks she's dealing with a Category Two man who needs time to put his life back together in a meaningful way. But you don't need to read a dozen posts to realize that he's just a simple man who is not that into her.
maybe she just never tried to cook for him?

Pretty Little Flower 01-08-2009 11:21 AM

Re: Congratulations Slave and Catrin!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield (Post 376746)
1 and 2 include the necessary assumption sex is an uncomplicated act. Shirley you jest there. I'll grant that for some dull people sex is mechanical, but 85 percent of men? That's a bit high. I'd say for most men sex is complicated as hell, but just seems simple because the processes involved in getting it and maintaining a high level of fun in it in a relationship are subtle, and mixed with a lot of subconscious, seemingly instinctual (and actually instinctual) split second decisions taking place in those processes.

I don't think the fact that you consider convincing someone to have sex, and then actually having sex to be a frightfully tricky maneuver will persuade Jack that you fall into Categories 2 or 3.

Adder 01-08-2009 11:24 AM

Re: Congratulations Slave and Catrin!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski (Post 376748)
maybe she just never tried to cook for him?

That must be it! She should surprise him with a baked pasta dish of some sort, preferable for lunch at his place of work, announcing herself to all of his co-workers.

greatwhitenorthchick 01-08-2009 11:27 AM

Re: Congratulations Slave and Catrin!!!
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Manfred (Post 376736)
Category Three: Complicated Man

He's a complicated man
No one understands him but his woman
Shaft!
can you dig it


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