Paper clips
 

No. No. NO. Paper clips are good. They help me a lot, especially in resetting my stupid palm pilot.

The worst thing are the asshole stay-at-home soccer moms in my neighborhood who cannot figure out how to QUICKLY drop off their little trolls at school. They stop in the middle of the street then roll through a fucking stop sign. BEEP BEEP BEEP.

Proof that women should not be allowed to drive.

Paper clips
 

Terrorist. Only terrorist countries don't let women drive.

Paper clips
 

This differs from the average NYC cab driver how?

URGENT -- FB Expert Advice Needed
 

Just thought you might find amusing the response my friend wrote when I passed along your sage advice:

It's fairly dispositive evidence that it's over when someone's wardrobe starts to irritate you.

I Love the Timmy Strikes Back
 

MTV actually dates to 1981, but yeah Boy is looking pretty scary. Of the others, Juliette Lewis (as I think Atticus was alluding to) seems like a total ditz. Mo Rocca and Michael Ian Black are still great, though. The segments on Weird Science, Fraggle Rock and North and South were pretty funny.

"How can I root against the South? They've got Patrick Swayze!"

As always, my 2nd favorite Chicago female musician (Mmmm, Nekoooooo) Liz Phair is looking h-hot...

I Love the Timmy Strikes Back
 

Michael Ian Black on McSWeeny's: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2003/09/19like.html


Is Wilco numero uno?

Paper clips
 

See, I am a huge copier. I copy everything, over and over again. I have stacks of extra copied sets of docs all over the place. Too many times I've discovered too late that the partner has raided my office and stolen my only correspondence/file copy of a document and scribbled all over it. So I HATE staples, because it makes it a bigger pain in the ass to copy stuff, and the doc gets all mangled pulling the staples out 3 or 4 or 8 times.

BR(and I like the colored plastic clips, too. Colorful clashing chaos is good, and they don't leave gray metal scrapings on the pages when you take them on and off)C

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I'm wondering exactly how many exclamation points this guy was using to have that be worse than baby talk after sex.*

*I am assuming they did not meet in a baby talk sex talk fetish chat room.

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Having read this I now think your friend should use my advice.

And I need to know: did she only find out about the Hermes belt buckle after she fucked him, er, engaged in "romance" with him?

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Exclamation points? Tell me, does he also do punny re lines and consider himself a cognitive minority?

I Love the Timmy Strikes Back
 

I am rather glad you beat me to this. If you know that, maybe you know the answer to this question, because I honestly don't remember. What year did they get away almost entirely from playing music videos and become a more traditional network, with programs and whatnot?

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and I'm just saying, I understand if Shape Shifter is yours. I'm sure Mr. Petch won't mind if you bring a pet with you.

Now run along sweetie. Gus is waiting.

I Love the Timmy Strikes Back
 

That would be "The Year They Began to Suck Ass"... Which really kicked off with "Remote Control", "Beavis", "Monkees" reruns and then went into high gear with "Real World", etc. Early 90's I believe...

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Yes but you missed one. I point this out only because I spent a little time on grammar sites yesterday learning the rule on this subject. Not meant to torment Leagl, but it might be a nice side benefit.

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I usually think that, for guys, wardrobe is something that is more easily fixable. So many guys just wear whatever seems innocuous and don't really take pride in having a "style" or standing out. Which leaves them very open to suggestions about what looks good (except about waistbands. No man ever took a hint that he was wearing trousers with a waist 4 inches too small).

But it sounds like this guy has an actual opinion on his wardrobe (e.g.: "it never goes out of style"). In which case it may indicate an unfixable annoyance.

BR(the Mr. had strong opinions about his clothes, even after I took to just buying him things I liked (inspiring some of his friends to loudly berate him in public and in front of me: "why are you wearing that shit instead of the nice thing Bad got you? Her stuff actually looks good. Why do you dress like a bum?" all to no avail). But I discovered that, once you get into a certain price range, even opinionated men will wear anything you buy them, especially $1,700 suits)C

I Love the Timmy Strikes Back
 

Donal Logue is growing on me, too. The "Donal Logue's Unfinished Thoughts on . . . ." segment is pretty good. His unfinished thoughts on Superman were actually made better by the fact that he fucked up the fifth grade joke about the Invisible Man getting ass-raped by Superman. He is not, however, eligible for the office of Comely Nymph.

I hadn't though of Superman II for 20 years. "Sorry, world, you're screwed because Superman's gotta tap that ass." Kneel before Zod, and buy his comprehensive insurance against Acts of Zod.

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Yes, yes, were. I'm usually pretty good with the subjunctive. My grammar fix was the more prosaic "posessive it's."

I Love the Timmy Strikes Back
 

That was good. Rich Eisen's impression of Zod was hilarious. I like Donal Logue, too, especially before he went sitcom... Dao of Steve is a funny basically unknown movie.

The "What the Fuck" moments with Gilbert Gottfried are pretty good, too.

I Love the Timmy Strikes Back
 

Atticus, did you see the Zod tour T-shirt on that site? The "Tour dates" on the back are pretty funny.

A sample of the entries:

JUPITER - (Yes, we're playing two dates, it's a big fucking planet!)
URANUS - (Silence! This planet does not have a funny name!)
PHILADELPHIA - (Zod Loves Cheese Steaks!)

... on one date they are performing a special Sammy Davis Jr. tribute.

They have Zod thongs, too, BTW.

Paper clips
 

Excellent, now I have some good ideas on what to get you for Valentines Day.

I Love the Timmy Strikes Back
 

This was very funny. I will now have to put MIB somewhere on my heart list. Let's see, how about below John Stewart and above Paul Rudd? Yes, that seems to work.

Carry on.

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Clearly you have not met Mr. Kiss. Please come visit and work your magic. Maybe you can get through to him that the skater boi look is out, out, out for the over 30 crowd.

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Well done. Right up there with "big dummy."

And you run along back to the pb, where at least you have the chance of "boring" being confused with "substantive."

Edited to change my response. With the recent discussions of favorite office supplies, you may just fit right in. Do you have any Sharpie jokes for us?

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What do you think about this tie?

http://www.bananarepublic.com/NR/rdo...07603-01p1.jpg

(I dig it.)

TM

Paper clips
 

Excellent, now I have some good ideas on what to get you for Valentines Day.

Paper clips
 

I would have to go with diamond earrings and expensive chocolate.

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I'll wear anything you buy me. Want to make the shoe shopping date a threesome??!?!????

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It would look good wrapped around the waist of a catholic school girl.

URGENT -- FB Expert Advice Needed
 

True. It could serve more than one purpose.

TM

URGENT -- FB Expert Advice Needed
 

Duane Peters hi tops never go out of style.

http://www.visionstreetwear.com/visi...canvashigh.jpg

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That's sk8tr boi, sis, and it looks good on 50 year old drug addled conservatives so why shouldn't it look good on him?

Full, round, artificial presumptions
 

I was with you, brother, until you turned out to be a spineless wimp.

You started strong with the unassailable position that "I've got to put breast implants in the same categories as strippers and prostitutes .... [T]here might be legitimate reasons to get them or become one [but] women rarely do it for the right reasons. They do it because they want to be objectified and have power over men they've never really had."

Amen. All dem bitches want is power, money, and to be groped by Arnold. Ergo, they are the equivalent of hookers and strippers - FemiJennas manipulating their bodies so that construction workers will whistle at them, Arnold will grope them and they can sue his ass, and I will splurge for the Joseph Phelps Insignia at dinner.

You, however, gave into the defenders of the evil boob job, morphing into some sort of quasi-psychological defense of your previsouly righteous position: "[W]omen who have had brest implants ... don't just want to look better or sexier or have a quick fix or whatever. ...[T]hey think that these physcial changes to their bodies are going to make them different people: more confident, more attractive, more successful, more ablt to dictate that men treat them better, richer, whatever. ."

Here, you still spaketh truth, but you made your previously moral position into some mealy-mouthed condescending argument that Rosie O'Donnell would make. I retained hope, though, that you still thought these women were close to strippers and prostitutes in the way they altered their appearances for the basest of interests. I pictured you never stooping to their level to change your appearance in any way. You won't brush your teeth, shower or use deoderant. Damn it to hell if it might make you more confident, attractive or successful - you weren't changing your body for anyone!

You reassured me that I was right with this passage: "They view a physical change as something that is going to change the way they feel about themselves. And I don't think that's healthy. If you don't like yourself, even if you can make you like yourself more for a while with some breast implants, that's not going to make yourself like you in the long run." Praise the Lord, and sing along with CSNY:

"Almost cut my hair today
It happened just the other day
It's gettin' kinda long
I could've said it was in my way
But I didn't and I wonder why
I feel like letting my freak flag fly
Yes I feel like I owe it to someone"

Love you or leave you, and, ladies, you are beautiful as nature made you! Don't let Cosmo tell you otherwise. Fight the Gucci Power, and pass the bong because the Dead are about to play Space.

Unfortunately, my hope was short lived. Your final post capitulated like the weak, pussy-whipped asstool I always thought. You made me gag me with this touching whitewash:"It's about concern ... for those I consider to be less fortunate than me ... I think that women who feel like they have to get bigger tits to make society like them are less fortunate than I am. All I feel like I have to do to have society like me is have a few decent suits and a nice car."

Now you have concern for these manipulative quasi-whores who just want power over you and to be objectified?!?! Bullshit. You are the same piece-of-shit you were when you started this tragic display of retreat and apology so be a man and get back in your fucking high (yet expensive), patchouli smelling, car and drive.

I Love the Timmy Strikes Back
 

This reminded me of Larry Niven's classic story "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex" about what would happen if Superman banged Lois Lane - http://www.larryniven.org/stories/Ma...of_Kleenex.htm

I Love the Timmy Strikes Back
 

But "Remote Control" did have one redeeming quality (well, three, but Jenny's breasteses go without saying):

"This topic is 'Dead or Canadian.'"

Looking here, I'm not quite sure what she is promoting.

http://www.katyjohnson.com/hot.html

she does encourage lawsuits . . .

http://www.katyjohnson.com/stalk.html (it seems you have to go thru several of the scenes to get to the one where the cow says "What this guy is doing is BAAAD . . . Don't be SHEEPISH - charge this cad!"

I Love the Timmy Strikes Back
 

I believe Mr. Hand is correct about "The Year MTV Began to Suck Ass." I want to say 1992, maybe?

As far as "Remote Control" goes, however, that wasn't Jenny, but the vivacious redhead, Kari Wuhrer, now appearing regularly in several features on Skinemax.

As far as categories, my favorite was always this one:

"They hide in closets, they peep through windows, no, they're not perverts, they're -- Private Dicks."

Yeah, but they're only successful in the MOO. . .T Court. Too bad this thing was dismissed so early. I would've loved to read the depo transcripts.

I Love the Timmy Strikes Back
 

I've have rarely watched the filth on MTV or its derivative stations but do you really expect something not to suck when the music the culture is premised on is absolute crap and the artists making it ain’t got no talent? When you suck how do you get attention? Do shocking scatological juvenile male humor crap. And lesbian kissing.

To me the whole MTV culture is boring with a capital BORING. If I want shocking sexuality I can see it in 3 dimensions at the local stripper bar and not to sound like some sort of rutting pig, but I am a tad more interested if I can be alone in a back room with a couple of naked chicks than I am watching a skanky whore-Madonna make out with a girl that is only slightly older than my step-daughter’s age. MTV has ruined the quality of music in America with its atonal beats and the whole enterprise is a rotten blight on the face of mankind. In fact I’d wager that my 5 year old shar-pei could write a song with more soul than what I have seen from a no talent hack like Justin Timberlake, a punk who wears Islamic type wool hats in the summer to identify with the downtrodden terrorists of the Al Qaeda, which just shows how he is lacking in any credibility.

These celebrities are so far removed from reality and it's all about the money and a quick piece of ass.

They'll be sorry one of these days….as the scriptures tell us, “And in the Last Days, perilous times shall come."

Anyhoo, where is the fringebenefit that my pal Say_Hello was PM'ing me about?

Can't you get that on PPV? Videotaped depos?