AoN, Foster Farms chicken nuggets are like crack in nugget form. Much better than anything organic. If real chicken tasted this good, it would be extinct by now.

Also good: frozen pelmeni.

mo $$$
 

Check and see if you have a credit union you can join, then open an ING type account so the little one will make some real interest.

Variable universal life insurance.
 

Anyone ever consider getting this? Assume I have retirement well in hand and am looking particularly for the best tax-deferred investment vehicle for college expenses on a 12- to 15-year horizon rather than the way to build maximum wealth. Assume also that term life is a necessary part of the picture, and that I've heard the mantra "term life and invest the rest" but am wondering if it's really true, because for my purposes what would I invest in? The education IRAs seem like a blunt instrument, and the state-based plans are too much of a narrow gate. Is FIFO really that worthwhile, or do you get absolutely reamed if you let the policy lapse and Uncle Sam comes knockin'?

Variable universal life insurance.
 

My sense of them is that they are suited principally for someone who is rich enough to get his financial advice from a paid advisor not an internet chat board.

Even then, I'm suspicious of a complicated financial product that relies on tax-favored status of deposits and withdrawals, combined with actuarial calculations, in order to be more attractive than standard investment in a 401(k), IRA, 529, or other more standard savings vehicles.

Also, check on the 529 plans, since some of them are a lot more flexible. You lose the state tax deduction, but you still get the federal deferral, which even in california is bigger than the state component. (Also, I'm not sure what you mean by narrow gate--is a S&P500 fund not an appropriate investment vehicle for children's education? Or do you want to go long in small caps on the off chance you hit it big and they can afford stanford?)

Variable universal life insurance.
 

I've seen them used in certain cases, but not considered them personally.

If you're buying the insurance anyways and want to build in some tax arbitrage, why not? The problems are that the folks selling them to you are usually not the most trustworthy, the products are often designed with multiple levels of fee and cost skims, and there are usually investment restrictions in these policies as well.

So, I've seen multi-million dollar policies purchased as part of an executive deferred comp strategy, where the deal could bear the freight for kicking all the tires (or someone else could pick up the tab) and where you're generally dealing with a higher class of insurance salesman slime. I'd be pretty hesitant to buy a policy for a million or less from the regular slime.

Get fringie and gwinky to weigh in.

Variable universal life insurance.
 

Oh, snap!

Because my retirement is effectively fully funded, and people in my line of work are at risk of being poor as churchmice during their working years and having an embarassment of riches in retirement, those other investment vehicles are not as attractive, with the possible exception of the 529 plan.

When I called it a narrow gate, I was talking about the fact that the tax benefits are lost if you spend the cash on anything other than education. A VUL has the advantage of the feds not caring what you spend it on, if you need to access the cash. But my mind isn't made up, which is why I've asked y'all.

Variable universal life insurance.
 

Thank god, I no longer do executive comp, and even when I did, it wasn't our group who dealt with that bullshit crap, it was (I think) the Finance Dept.

I fucking loathe executive comp schemes. Just throw cash at them and let them figure out how to duck taxes (and bear the liability for doing it). They get all pissy when they drive the company into bankruptcy and then their executive comp, including comp they deferred, goes bye-bye. Fucking Enron.

Variable universal life insurance.
 

I think Atticus is looking for household advice, not a golden parachute, but i may be wrong.

Variable universal life insurance.
 

G3 suggested he ask benefit people b/c of executive comp arrangements. I am noting that I never did life-insurance-y ones and using it as a jumping off point.

Variable universal life insurance.
 

The life insuranc-y ones I have seen (and the benefits folks have arranged them) lead me to support your perspective. But I thought you might have had the pleasure of experiencing a nice complicated insurance wrapper scheme.

The wrapper schemes I've seen have been great for the lawyers and accountants, really, really tremendous for the insurance guys, and OK for the executives.

Variable universal life insurance.
 

Game, Set and Match.



If your retirement is fully funded, why are you working? Retire, already!

Variable universal life insurance.
 

I assume by "fully funded" he means "if I manage not to get fired over the next 30 years" and therefore gets the full pension/retirement benefit at age 65 or so.

Permanent Birth Control
 

Anyone already taken this step? We're currently considering our options.

tm

Variable universal life insurance.
 

I have a group VUL though my firm, but I had one hell of a time understanding how it worked. (Also have separate term life policy.)

It performed fairly well, but once I got a semi-real investment advisor he got me to stop contributing on the premise that it was in some sense duplicative of my 401k and I needed to start doing other things with the money -- either that or I was doing lots for retirement at 65+, but not enough for anything before 65.

Virginia has a nice 529 plan we're using.

S_A_M

Permanent Birth Control
 

My (chaste, married) sister and I had a talking-at-cross-purposes over a guy's (her husband's) willingness to have a vasectomy, and guys in general (my, uh, friends) willingness to use condoms. I would not say this except (a) I am drunk and sad/angry and (b) no one has responded yet. On a personal level I am all for fewer babies, but I realize not everyone shares this feeling, and I more or less respect that.

Variable universal life insurance.
 

If you are sure you're going to hold it for at least 15 or 20 years, and you carefully review the costs and fees, a policy from a good company will let you have considerable choice in investments. If you're maxed out on other tax-deferred products, what you need to do is compare the cost of taxable investements plus term life against the premiums on the VUL. Bear in mind that your entire first year premium is commission to the agent.

Permanent Birth Control
 

My wife and I have stopped having sex. It's worked pretty well for us. It does have certain interpersonal side effects, though.

Permanent Birth Control
 

EARTH TO FRINGEY!!!!

You "more or less" respect that some people want to have kids? This is the parents' board for goodness sakes. If you continue to post here, I must insist that you respect the members of this community. It is tough enough for those of us who want to help, to get Atticus' finances in order, or help Alex pick out a car seat.

And for that matter, vasectomies are very much inappropriate for the parents' board, now that i think about it.

Permanent Birth Control
 

Jesus H. Christ -- not having sex with your wife is not an effective form of birth control and never has been.

Variable universal life insurance.
 

Thanks. Last question on this, I swear. Would it have been illegal for him to have picked up the fucking check for lunch?

Variable universal life insurance.
 

I've heard of insurance agent pulling some crazy shit, but you're joking, right?

Permanent Birth Control
 

Yeah, well then how come I haven't gotten pregnant, eh, Monsieur Assclam?

Permanent Birth Control
 

Because capon fat and bacon grease are abortifacients?

Permanent Birth Control
 

i was going to guess that his partners don't orgasm.

The Swiss Family Robinson -- a good book to read with a seven-year-old?

Sure, but why not just go for the real deal with Gulliver?

I dunno (been too long since I read it), but let me know what you end up deciding.

I think our next read-aloud for our seven-year-old will be A Christmas Carol, and then after the holidays we'll start Goblet of Fire (we've taken a 6-month break since finishing Prisoner of Azkaban). Granted, our seven-year-old is not typical of most, but I figure yours might not be either.

tm

I am currently reading Goblet of Fire to my 6 year old. He is loving it.

(This is actually my first pass through the HP series. I am loving this at least as much as he is.)

Health Question
 

Has anyone ever dealt with a child diagnosed with PANDAS?

aV

Gatti's Annual Bragfest
 

I know everyone has been waiting to hear me brag about my kid, and it's been about a year, so I can restrain myself no longer.

Yes, folks, it's the Holiday Show time of year again, which means that Gaplet is working on his Actor's Equity credits. He's been cast in another Civic Light Opera production:

http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/c...nderella-1.jpg

.. in an Ensemble role. Difference between this and Oliver! is that he's one of about 4 kids, instead of one of about 30.

As an aside, Gaplet seems to have a knack for winning roles in end-of-year plays. It'll be interesting to see if he's successful next year, when the CLO presents in its 2008 holiday season:

http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/c...ER_proof_2.jpg

As the theater's producer put it, "Why? Because NOTHING says "Christmas" like Fiddler on the Roof. Let's paint the tree blue and sing Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, because it's their turn."

*****

Anyway, last night was Opening Night. We got Gaplet the Thespian to the theater in time, hung around the lobby for much longer than God intended, and as the lights went down I settled in my seat secretly and fully prepared to hate it.

Let me unpack that a little bit.

I don't mean to suggest that I was going to hate seeing my kid, not at all. I fully knew that he would be fantastic and I would love seeing him there. It's just that -- well -- the material for this particular play is a bit dated. It's Cinderella, for heaven's sake. It's not as if the plot would contain any surprises. And while I've never watched the Rodgers and Hammerstein version of the play, I've listened to the soundtrack over the last few weeks. Interminably. It's nice, but it's not really filled with songs that have become standards in the decades since. It also has Julie Andrews and many other people singing in the style of 1957, and sounding much like this cover would suggest it would.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...AL._AA240_.jpg

So, I was prepared to suffer a bit. To watch and listen and wait for my boy to appear on the stage with the rest of the ensemble, to come see what I really wanted to see.




I don't know what the hell I was thinking. It was awesome.

I had forgotten that people don't have to sing in the overly formal way of 50 years ago, and that a live show invariably is a better experience than a recorded soundtrack. The set was whimsical (they even used a friggin' 20-foot-tall book as a transitional piece for a couple of scenes.) The techniques to deal with the transformation of the pumpkin, the dress, etc. were clever. Cinderella and the Prince (and for that matter the rest of the cast) were immensely talented, and made otherwise tired material seem fresh.

And my kid killed.

I think I mentioned last time around that the house holds about 1400 people. It was just about full, and by my estimate about 350 seats were filled with 5-6 year old girls dressed in little gowns. Small parts of the cast go out to the lobby after the show, in costume, for a meet-and-greet with the audience, and the Gaplet was mobbed. ("Dad, I went out there after the show? And there were ALL these little girls there. And some wanted to take their picture with me!")

So, for the next 3 weeks, I'll either be watching the show or be waiting in the theater parking lot waiting for the show to end to pick up my kid. If y'all could hang around late at night and post interesting things for me to read while waiting in my car those nights, that'd be great.

Gattigap

Gatti's Annual Bragfest
 

Hmm. Have you had a vasectomy?

tm

Gatti's Annual Bragfest
 

I think he's had considerably more work than just that.

Gatti's Annual Bragfest
 

So when do you give up the day job and become a stage mom?

Gatti's Annual Bragfest
 

Got it all planned out. Soon as the kid gets his fist 3 picture deal, then I figure it's time to put down the pen, pick up the speedball and start hittin' the town with Lindsay's mom.

Repeating Kindergarten
 

Yesterday we got report cards and last night was parent-teacher conference.

1. Vietbabe -Sept. b'day (young compared to most in class but 2 other Sept. b'days in class and they are doing fine academically).

2. Catholic kindergarten with 18 kids in her class.

3. Although she is tired b/c no nap anymore, I have always gotten her to do her homework and we haven't missed any school. We read every night and do normal things but not like that character in Parenthood with the flashcards.

4. Report card: highest marks in Self Confidence, Happy, Friendly, Plays Well With Others, Polite (you name it). The only comment is that she's a bit too much of a social butterfly and may be talking while directions are being given by teacher.

5. Conference: teacher showed me her classwork. Not picking up as quickly on phonetics, "math" concepts and such. The teacher seems good. And I always make sure Vietbabe does homework, gets enough sleep, ready for school, all that. So, I think it's not something that can be changed. Teacher thinks she will probably recommend that Vietbabe repeat K and that she really is "that behind" and that 1st grade at that school is particularly challenging. I asked what are the chances that increased help outside school (flash cards and work on weekends with her) would change that but she says it is not likely.

I am so grateful my child is "Happy" and "Self Confident" and "Plays Well With Others." But this morning, I'm upset and teary-eyed even though I know it's "just Kindergarten". Anyone have input? Thank you.

Repeating Kindergarten
 

Where I live, the cut off for K is September 1, so VietBabe wouldn't be eligible for K until next year anyway (she turned 5 this September, right?). I think there are lots of states where this is the case, so if she does another year of K next year, she won't be completely out-of-sync with the rest of the world when she goes away to college.

My niece has a September birthday and started K this year just short of her 6th birthday. She seems to be thriving and has no idea that she's maybe a couple of months older than some of her classmates.

I think you want to give VietBabe the best chance for success, and that means she's got to get the basics down before she moves on. If that requires one more year of K, then that's what she should have.

A consultation with a psychologist/psychiatrist who specialized in childhood education may help you make a decision. It may be that this school isn't the right place for her either.

Repeating Kindergarten
 

Same here in Oregon. Ruth Bader Ramone is a 9/4 birthday. We thought seriously about petitioning to get her in early, but decided against it. Very happy with the decision. She loved kindergarten, and is now killing 1st grade. Being among the oldest hasn't been a problem at all (she's tall, which worried us a bit, but it turns out she's in a class with lots of tall girls). In her class, at least, it is much easier to tell the kids that are at the young end of the spectram (the late summer birthdays) than it is to identify the older ones.

So don't sweat it; if she repeats, it will put her right where she would have been in lots of places. Plus, as they get older, I figure being at the oldest end of the class, rather than the youngest, gives 'em another year of being a kid.

Repeating Kindergarten
 

You know your own kid better than the teacher - if you think the teacher's assessment doesn't match your child's real capabilities, get your child assesseed for the dyslexia, dysgraphia, etc. family of cognitive disabilities, and figure out whether they need some special help. Find the best testers in the area (often affiliated with a teaching hospital), because kids with learning disabilities are often very smart and figure out how to hide them.

If it turns out the answer is yes, your kid does have some disabilities, I can regale you with stories of how our kids, who got such reviews in kindergartern, are now thriving and wowwing their teachers' right and left. If the answer is no, you still may find that the people you deal with in getting the tests have some really useful ideas about kids and learning.

As far as the something that cannot be changed - don't believe it. Lots of stuff can be changed.

A couple other things - sometimes it is just a maturity issue and the extra year really is effective. There is a great book that came out this year called Proust and the Squid by Maryanne Wolf that describes some of the neuroscience behind maturity and learning (also has a couple chapters on dyslexia). Maryanne is one of the people who has worked with our kids. One thing she touches on is all the pre-reading stuff that has an impact if they are not yet ready (for example, if its a neurological readiness issue, better to have a lot of lap reading to the kid so they are making visual connections between words, stories and symbols than a lot of rote flash cards - but rote flash cards can be very useful if they are ready to read but have a form of dysgraphia that makes it hard for them to imprint symbols, like letters). But if its not a readiness issue, all the possibilities for intervention, like Orton-Gillingham reading programs or Wolf's RAV-O program, are hugely more effective when you catch them early, like in Kindergarten. And teachers are heavily pressured not to identify kids who need these services, because it can have a big impact on the school budget, so be careful about trusting your teachers - some don't bend to the pressure, but some just twist themselves up in little balls helping schools deny services.

Kindergarten
 

Wow. I did not think these kinds of tests were administered so early. This is Vietbabe's first year in school (her "preschool" was just a daycare and she wasn't there full time anyway and so would have missed any "academic" portions). I have to say that overall, my kid seem sooooooooooooooo young. She is in clothes for an 18 month old, has all her baby teeth, weighs about 25 pounds and is shorter than all the pre-schoolers. She still carries her blankey around, uses a pacifier at night (yes, I know - bad mommy) and takes 2 hour naps on the weekends (she would during the week, but it's not allowed at school). Her schoolmates come over and I see them playing "baby" (with my kid in the cradle). Is it possible she just isn't "mature" enough for academics? She's a mid Sept. b'day (she just turned 5 this past Sept - the same month she started school) but it's possible she is actually an October b'day b/c in her adoption paperwork I can't account for where she spent the month before she was received at the orphanage at the end of October.

I try my best not to keep her a baby but to be honest, I feel like I don't have that "intuitive" thing that other parents seem to have as far as raising their kids and I worry that I'm just SCREWING UP ROYALLY AS A PARENT. I do notice that she IS maturing from year to year (able to do more things, understand more, control herself and all).

Kindergarten
 

Yes, the tests get earlier every year.

It is VERY possible that she's not yet mature enough - this is the interesting piece in that book I suggested. I'm going to oversimplify, but as kids mature, somewhere in the 4 to 7 time frame (different kids mature differently), specific combinations of brain activity develop so that different parts of the brain build a relationship that combines different skills needed for understanding words and numbers. Interestingly, the patterns are different based on different languages.

Part of it is watching verbal skills as compared to written skills - the verbal comes first, and if you have a kid with great verbal skills who is struggling with learning to read, it's often an indication of dyslexia, but it can just be a need for some more maturity. Somebody with real skill (or a good MRI and cutting edge training) can figure out which is happening. If you catch issues in kindergarten, instead of in 2nd or 3rd grade, where they are usually caught, you get massively more and better results from intervention. On the other hand, if the verbal skills are still developing, it's more likely a maturity thing. We knew our first kid had some learning issues when she was orally capable of making up and reciting complex poetry (for a kid) but couldn't write her own name.

Sorry to prattle on so much. This stuff is a huge part of our lives. I'm a bit of a missionary on it.