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[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

Originally Posted by sebastian_dangerfield

Indeed. I had half of a psychoactive chocolate chip cookie around 10:30 or 11:00 last night. Nothing happened for the first hour, and I wound up falling asleep. 3:00 rolls around and I have to run downstairs to have a piss (the tile in the bathroom reflects sound and wakes the wife, so I try to do the late urination downstairs). Anyway, I was ambling about the kitchen and decided to read the morning's to do list. This was difficult, and for a moment, I was totally confused (also wondering why or how I came to be holding a Vitamin water I'd taken from the garage, but hadn't recalled picking up). Then it struck me. Yes, the cookie had worked.

I promptly ate a Snicker's from the remaining Halloween candy and some horseradish cheese. This gave me terrible heartburn around 4:00. I woke up once more, went down to the kitchen and had a Rolaid. All was good once more (except for the knowing, judgmental glares of the Maine Coon cat... astride the kitchen island, he gave me the usual stare: You're a dim creature. And you're wearing your wife's sweatpants again... Get your own, you cheap son of a bitch.)

It is trying living this life, but trust me, you will get through that 18 y.o. scotch. You'll grit through the occasional cork remnants and damnit, you will like it.

I didn't think I'd ever find a good opportunity to post this gif. I was wrong.