Quote:
Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch
Question for the group: I've never dated two people at the same time and have no intention of doing so, but how does this work in practice? In the social circles in which I presently run, it would be unthinkable to show up at a social event with a date, and then another event involving the same people with The Other. Obviously my social scene is less imaginative than most, but doesn't this eventually devolve into two people with whom you're doing sex, only one of whom is used as a companion for all world-facing purposes?
NTTAWWT, of course, but I don't see the practicality of being a couple for social purposes with any more than one person at a time. Or am I being fusty and now everybody gets +2 wedding invitations?
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In my circle, usually it's a "I'm dating a lot of people because I just broke up and/or am looking for the next Mr/s. and/or I'm a player" situation. We all sort of know, to cite a recent example, that J has met two girls he likes and is dating both. Both have gone to art openings, concerts and dinner parties with him. We also know that J is likely to narrow down to one in a few months, followed a few months after that by a break up that sends him into a tailspin of random sex with a lot more than two for a few months until he can go through the winnowing process again. So seeing Jim with lots of different girls isn't unexpected (and we learn to forget their names). Same sort of thing with C and the guys she brings to things, though she's less likely to go through the winnowing process, and she'll pick and choose depending on the event. She'll bring J (different J) to the more presentable "I'm trying to be a grown up" and C to the "I'm still rebeling against my conservative parents" events. To be fair, she stopped a lot of this when she left Houston and I think she's more inclined to serial monogamy now than when she lived here.
Then, there's M, who is according to her husband 87% lesbian, and he can't give her everything he wants (though he's more than happy to help when she finds something she wants). So if we see her with some girl, we're just happy for her husband. Though they (and most of the other polyamorous married couples I know) tend towards your scenario of publically coupled and privately having all sorts of non-couply sexy-times. And I'm pretty sure that things have changed since they had the baby. R and T purportedly have a dungeon in their basement that isn't just for them. I think C likes girls as well as boys, and her husband J (another, different J) is more than happy to let her have her fun while he finds his own. Socially, though, I never see these people with anyone other than their spouses/partners. I know of one triple, but I don't know them well enough to know how they do it. They present themselves publically as a triple, and the three of them live together. I imagine that it works slightly because all three are gay than it would if it were a mix of sexes, so to speak.
(Initials because they're all facebook friends. Except for the triple.)
