Removing the feeding tube from our aging hipster plaid pants

[pony_trekker]

Originally posted by tmdiva
Okay, so my fil is visiting. My problem: he has really bad aim. I don't know if it's because he's not wearing his glasses or if he just doesn't care that much, but it's really really bad. Like, drips down the front of the toilet and on the floor in front of the toilet, visible stains on the toilet rug--you get the picture. I don't clean my own toilets, and he doesn't use the master bathroom, so it wouldn't be a problem except that he shares a bathroom with my son, who in spite of my best efforts has not yet learned that the toilet apparatus is not something you should feel free to touch all over.

Is there anything I can do about this?

tm

Buy a mop and learn how to use it.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by pony_trekker
Buy a mop and learn how to use it.

I have this mental image of TM chasing fil around the house, swinging at him with a mop and shreiking "AIM!, old man!! AIM!!"

[notcasesensitive]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
If you were going to a Billy Idol concert tomorrow night, and you have something to do tonight thereby rendering it impossible to shop, AND you got an e-mail from your concert companions with the following instruction: BE SURE TO DRESS YOUR PART, what would you wear when you meet your friends for drinks at 7:15 tomorrow evening?

Assume concert companion ended her e-mail with "I’m getting out my white wedding dress and glue on tattoos as we speak!"

Tape pictures of yourself all over a black tee shirt and tell her that you'll be dancing with yourse-elf (oh, oh, oh, oh).

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
My sister's lab (it's always labs isn't it?) at about nine months old had to be rushed to the vet after dining on a dead squirrel. It wasn't even his first trip to the vet after something he ate.* The DD, having shared the meal, suffered from the squirts but otherwise showed no ill effects.

I'm glad my lab doesn't do that. I had her at the dog park once when a neighborhood golden ate a kid's scarf there and had to be rushed to the vet. The 12 year old to whom the golden belonged ran home (lucky duck, his house was next to the park, you could tell he thought of the whole place as his backyard) and we could hear him yell, "Mom, Bogey ate something again!" 2 minutes later we hear the front door slam see the Volvo wagon heading down the street with the dog in the back. The following week I had my pup in the vet for her checkup and somehow the story of the golden came up. It was his FOURTH surgery. Previous conquests were a bra, a sock, and a hat.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
If you were going to a Billy Idol concert tomorrow night, and you have something to do tonight thereby rendering it impossible to shop, AND you got an e-mail from your concert companions with the following instruction: BE SURE TO DRESS YOUR PART, what would you wear when you meet your friends for drinks at 7:15 tomorrow evening?

Assume concert companion ended her e-mail with "I’m getting out my white wedding dress and glue on tattoos as we speak!"

Gel-spike and flour your hair.

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
My sister's lab (it's always labs isn't it?) at about nine months old had to be rushed to the vet after dining on a dead squirrel. It wasn't even his first trip to the vet after something he ate.* The DD, having shared the meal, suffered from the squirts but otherwise showed no ill effects.



*That honor goes to the seran wrapped sandwich he ate about three hours after I finally went to sleep after having just finished the Texas Bar Exam and not having slept well in about three weeks and at all in the previous three days. He was three months old, and my sister needed someone to keep her calm as she discovered that he liked the hydrogen peroxide she was pouring down his throat to get him to throw up.

He ate a dead mouse a few weeks ago, and refused ipecac (he knows what it is now). I think he ate a cooked chicken bone on Monday. I'm surprised he's lived this long, and that's not even counting the number of times people have actively wanted to kill him.

On at least two occassions, my dog has the entire carcas of a roast chicken. Surprisingly enough, no problems.

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by bilmore
I have this mental image of TM chasing fil around the house, swinging at him with a mop and shreiking "AIM!, old man!! AIM!!"

Especially funny since it's actually tm's fil. I think it would freak him out pretty good if TM chased him around the house.

[pony_trekker]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
If you were going to a Billy Idol concert tomorrow night, and you have something to do tonight thereby rendering it impossible to shop, AND you got an e-mail from your concert companions with the following instruction: BE SURE TO DRESS YOUR PART, what would you wear when you meet your friends for drinks at 7:15 tomorrow evening?

Assume concert companion ended her e-mail with "I’m getting out my white wedding dress and glue on tattoos as we speak!"

Leave your shirt in the office and go in a bra and jeans.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
Especially funny since it's actually tm's fil. I think it would freak him out pretty good if TM chased him around the house.

I bet he'd start pissing in the bowl, though.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Oliver_Wendell_Ramone
On at least two occassions, my dog has the entire carcas of a roast chicken. Surprisingly enough, no problems.

My cat has eaten nearly an entire roast turkey ... which he pulled out of the refrigerator himself. I shit you not.

I'm sure he would have taken in the entire carcass had he not been caught.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by tmdiva
Okay, so my fil is visiting. My problem: he has really bad aim. I don't know if it's because he's not wearing his glasses or if he just doesn't care that much, but it's really really bad. Like, drips down the front of the toilet and on the floor in front of the toilet, visible stains on the toilet rug--you get the picture. I don't clean my own toilets, and he doesn't use the master bathroom, so it wouldn't be a problem except that he shares a bathroom with my son, who in spite of my best efforts has not yet learned that the toilet apparatus is not something you should feel free to touch all over.

Is there anything I can do about this?

tm

Tell your husband to tell his father to stop pissing all over everything.

TM

[Oliver_Wendell_Ramone]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
If you were going to a Billy Idol concert tomorrow night, and you have something to do tonight thereby rendering it impossible to shop, AND you got an e-mail from your concert companions with the following instruction: BE SURE TO DRESS YOUR PART, what would you wear when you meet your friends for drinks at 7:15 tomorrow evening?

Assume concert companion ended her e-mail with "I’m getting out my white wedding dress and glue on tattoos as we speak!"

Cover yourself in snot and tell everyone you were used like Kleenex. The old skoolers will love it!

(for the punk rock-impaired, Kleenex is a song off of Generation X's first album, which I listned to way too much as an impressionable youth)

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
My cat has eaten nearly an entire roast turkey ... which he pulled out of the refrigerator himself. I shit you not.

I'm sure he would have taken in the entire carcass had he not been caught.

Lemme guess: No shame or remorse for anything except getting caught.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Lemme guess: No shame or remorse for anything except getting caught.

He opened the refrigerator by himself. He was rightfully proud.

This is the same cat who hides under the bed for days whenever I move and becomes catatonic at the vet, but he's a bad-ass in the kitchen.

[bilmore]

Originally posted by Replaced_Texan
Lemme guess: No shame or remorse for anything except getting caught.

It's like they're human.