A fashion board in which sometimes we'll remember to post spoiler warnings

[Gattigap]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

I'm not sure if that makes me psychic, but it makes me something.

In this case, simply mistaken.

[Pretty Little Flower]

Originally Posted by Gattigap

Flower, if you've learned nothing else from my infuriating posting format, you should know that I am lured to far-flung locales by tales of intriguing stories of heart-clogging delis or antiseptic bars in historic transit locations.

Your halfhearted promise of generic Midwestern experiences is not going to get you any closer to your goal of burying me in a cornfield, and I think it's time we were both honest with ourselves and admit that fact.

My promise of providing you with a generic Midwestern experience is full-hearted. We will spend some time in a conference room at Bilmore's place of employment and then go to church with Fugee.

Then the cornfield.

[cheval de frise]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

The only similarity between your friend Bob and St. Paul is the misshapen head. Because Bob, despite the somewhat pathetic picture you have created of him, is still able to inspire some small morsel of sympathy, even in myself. St. Paul is a dark, evil little hovel of a place, one with a huge plastic smile on its face and empty, murderous eyes. Its denizens will pretend to welcome you with faux-folksy sincerity, but their lizard-flesh will secretly quiver with revulsion at the presence of an outsider. If you arrive any time other than the winter, during the entirety of which the populace of St. Paul is too preoccupied with high school hockey to carry out its evil misdeeds, they will get you drunk at some Irish hovel and then perform a ritual castration in the middle of an empty ice rink, ending with a pack of writhing St. Paul virgins lapping feverishly at the blood that spills from the gaping wound where your genitalia once was. But I will take you there, if you wish.

[STEPHEN KING] Children of The Corn meets Salem's Lot? [/STEPHEN KING]

CDF

[cheval de frise]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

My promise of providing you with a generic Midwestern experience is full-hearted. We will spend some time in a conference room at Bilmore's place of employment and then go to church with Fugee.

Then the cornfield.

With a sell job like that, he'll probably want the cornfield first.

CDF

[Adder]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

My promise of providing you with a generic Midwestern experience is full-hearted. We will spend some time in a conference room at Bilmore's place of employment and then go to church with Fugee.

Then the cornfield.

There better be hotdish in Fugee's church basement after the service.

[Fugee]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

The format of this post infuriates me. When you come to Minnesota, I am not going to concoct some uber-hip Minneapolis insider experience that you can later post about here. Instead, I will provide you with the most generic of the countless generic Midwestern experiences available, and then I will bury you in a cornfield. Be a dear and try to come during the summer months when the ground is not so hard.

Translation: I'm sending you to lunch with Fugee. After you have expired from boredom, I'll put you on the light rail train with sunglasses and a newspaper and wait to see how long it takes for someone to notice.

ETA: I was right about dumpig Gatti on me; wrong about the location.

[Fugee]

Originally Posted by Adder

There better be hotdish in Fugee's church basement after the service.

My church here is too hoity-toity for hotdish. We do catered.

[Fugee]

Originally Posted by cheval de frise

With a sell job like that, he'll probably want the cornfield first.

CDF

Given the low quality of PLF's posts lately, church with me has got to be more entertaining than hanging with him.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

My promise of providing you with a generic Midwestern experience is full-hearted. We will spend some time in a conference room at Bilmore's place of employment and then go to church with Fugee.

Then the cornfield.

when friends visit here, first thing, they always want to see 8 Mile Road! Then, we'll usually go see an empty auto factory. After that, it's time to get them back to the airport for the connecting flights they were waiting for.


actually there is this http://www.facebook.com/pages/Detroi...ct/61458428661

a celebration of urban blight turned bright

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

when friends visit here, first thing, they always want to see 8 Mile Road! Then, we'll usually go see an empty auto factory. After that, it's time to get them back to the airport for the connecting flights they were waiting for.


actually there is this http://www.facebook.com/pages/Detroi...ct/61458428661

a celebration of urban blight turned bright

Wow, it's Thursday, Hank is drunk and bitter and I'm reading Women again after many, many years. That doesn't make me psychic, but it makes me something.*

*something besides being unable to write, drink or fuck like Bukowski, but whatever. I'm not in my fifties yet.

[Adder]

Originally Posted by ironweed

Wow, it's Thursday, Hank is drunk and bitter

What is unusual about this for any day of the week?

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Adder

What is unusual about this for any day of the week?

actually that was an homage, an olive branch if you will- [crosses fingers] maybe the great Ironweed Hank alliance of old is coming back together[/crosses fingers]

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

Don't tell me you're an Applebees fan, too. Was the Manny's trip just a show for Gattigap? If so, that was nice of you. He seems to really believe he was let in on one of your hometown secret rituals. Don't worry. I won't tell him that the ritual actually involves a platter of Double Crunch Shrimp and a few Caramel Appletinis.

We don't have Applebees in our part of the world and I drink martinis. Your perception must be clouded by the weight of all that tater tot hot dish.

[Fugee]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

[crosses fingers] maybe the great Ironweed Hank alliance of old is coming back together[/crosses fingers]

A sequel? Must be Dumber and Dumberer.

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by Pretty Little Flower

The format of this post infuriates me. When you come to Minnesota, I am not going to concoct some uber-hip Minneapolis insider experience that you can later post about here. Instead, I will provide you with the most generic of the countless generic Midwestern experiences available, and then I will bury you in a cornfield. Be a dear and try to come during the summer months when the ground is not so hard.

Lutefisk and deep-fried Twinkies?