Towards A Virtual Williamsburg!

[Icky Thump]

Is it a good sign if after your deposition, opposing counsel's facebook status changes to "I need alcohol" ?

[Not Bob]

Originally Posted by Icky Thump

Is it a good sign if after your deposition, opposing counsel's facebook status changes to "I need alcohol" ?

Based upon my experience of always needing alcohol after defending a deposition, the Magic 8 Ball answer to this is probably "cannot predict now."

Other side got nothing from my cashier? Long pointless boring day = Need a Manhattan.

Other side got my cashier to say that he told my store manager that some yahoo was going to break his keister by slipping in the puddle of Hawaiian Punch that was so old that generations of flies had been born, lived full happy and sugar (plus 10% real fruit juice) lives on it? How many zeroes to the left of the decimal = Need a Manhattan.

Other side got my doctor to admit that life would suck with a broken keister but that Plaintiff's keister had been broken in a car accident in 1992? Comme ci, comme ca = Need a Manhattan.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

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TM

[Sidd Finch]

Originally Posted by Icky Thump

Is it a good sign if after your deposition, opposing counsel's facebook status changes to "I need alcohol" ?

It's Friday afternoon. We all need alcohol.

If his status had changed to "I need a cigarette because I just got fucked," that would be different.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Icky Thump

Is it a good sign if after your deposition, opposing counsel's facebook status changes to "I need alcohol" ?

I don't think I'd be Facebook friends with opposing counsel. Too afraid they'd see me in a good mood drunk posting and send me email asking for concessions on stuff.

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Not Bob

Based upon my experience of always needing alcohol after defending a deposition, the Magic 8 Ball answer to this is probably "cannot predict now."

Other side got nothing from my cashier? Long pointless boring day = Need a Manhattan.

Other side got my cashier to say that he told my store manager that some yahoo was going to break his keister by slipping in the puddle of Hawaiian Punch that was so old that generations of flies had been born, lived full happy and sugar (plus 10% real fruit juice) lives on it? How many zeroes to the left of the decimal = Need a Manhattan.

Other side got my doctor to admit that life would suck with a broken keister but that Plaintiff's keister had been broken in a car accident in 1992? Comme ci, comme ca = Need a Manhattan.

Person taking needed the drink. Every answer added a zero.

[Not Bob]

Originally Posted by Icky Thump

Person taking needed the drink. Every answer added a zero.

Those are fun. That would be an example of the "we don't build them; we just fly them" depo. Which = Need a Manhattan.

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

But you should definitely let them know that it is International Clitoris Awareness Week next week:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...n_3202780.html

What word does 'International' modify? (is a question that the aspect of myself I most dislike might ask right now).

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

I don't think I'd be Facebook friends with opposing counsel. Too afraid they'd see me in a good mood drunk posting and send me email asking for concessions on stuff.

I think the only thing we could say with absolute certainty is that opposing counsel would become a billion times more aware of Detroit-area Moth events.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Icky Thump

Person taking needed the drink. Every answer added a zero.

for the kids I'll post this- my worst defending moment: prior to the hour limits, I'm representing P in a case where the patent has three inventors- the only good inventor at the lawsuit phase is a dead inventor, they can only hurt you. the 3rd guy only had input into something that was completely unimportant. So i coached him to just say he doesn't really understand patents, especially the claims, lawyers write that shit.

Opposing counsel is that stubborn type that comes in with a script and doesn't even listen to answers or move off his script, which means it kills me to be in the room, but there isn't even the edge of fear of a screw up because he won't sense the possibility.

He asks the question: "do you understand patent claims?"

Answer: "No, those seem more the lawyers area."

I see the mule-like lawyer pick up about 2 feet of documents and move them towards the pile of stuff he is past, but just before he drops them, my inventor goes:

"I'll speculate if you'd like."

NWTAF?

5 hours later I limped out of that room straight to an alcohol bar.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

I think the only thing we could say with absolute certainty is that opposing counsel would become a billion times more aware of Detroit-area Moth events.

I'll be at the Bitter End may 27th for the NYC crew!

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

for the kids I'll post this- my worst defending moment: prior to the hour limits,

No limits in state court. These deps go on for days. 4-7 in NY, 14 or more in CA.

"I'll speculate if you'd like."

During a prep, I usually tell a guy that there are three or four things that if you say them, I punch you in your face.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Icky Thump

During a prep, I usually tell a guy that there are three or four things that if you say them, I punch you in your face.

I like this. are you willing to be local counsel, even if the case isn't in NYC?

[Not Bob]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

for the kids I'll post this- my worst defending moment:
"I'll speculate if you'd like."

NWTAF?

5 hours later I limped out of that room straight to an alcohol bar.

Normal people do just not seem to understand that a deposition is not a conversation, and that a witness is not supposed to be nice and helpful. (This means that I would make a horrible deponent, but that I usually do a pretty good job as the examining attorney. Niceness has its ups and downs.) My prickier clients don't seem to have a problem with this, needless to say.

Confession time -- have you ever kicked a client in an effort to get him to shut up? No? Uh, me neither. "I was just playing footsie with my client because, well, he's a handsome man, your honor."

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Not Bob

Confession time -- have you ever kicked a client in an effort to get him to shut up? No? Uh, me neither. "I was just playing footsie with my client because, well, he's a handsome man, your honor."

No. I just say either say "did you even hear the question?" or punch OVER the table. A punch to the nuts would be unethical.