More pie

[dtb]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Urban Dictionary needs stick figures.

Thank you, Burger. You are my new favorite.

[SlaveNoMore]

ThurgreedMarshall
I paid for the drink.
TM

Well, that's a new one anyways ....

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by Penske_Account
So the IT guy comes into my office a few minutes ago. Asks me what I am doing for a lunch....I say probably not eating and working at my desk. He says, "hmmmm, I can go for the tuna from [restaurant in our building]" I responded yes, that sounds good. He then says, "you treating?". Huh!?!? He then says, "oh by the way, I ran the quarterly cookie check on the Firm's network, some interesting cookies.......not quite work safe, if you know what I mean"....yes, I know what he means.

So, now I have to buy this doofus lunch.

But it gets worse and weirder....so then he says, "hey, you know Ron Jeremy, right?" I reply that I know who he is (the number of porn site cookies on my harddrive make it impossible for me to pretend I don't) but I don't know know him. He says, "right, yeah, so I had a dream last night, I was spit-roasting some hot chick with Ron Jeremy, and during the roasting, Ron puts up his hand for a high five, and when I give it to him, he holds my hand and won't let go.......then I woke up.......do you think I'm a gay? Latently?"

I hemmed and hawed and during which I IM'd my secretary and had her buzz me, and then pretended I had a client call and kicked him out.

Is this fucked up or what? What should I say to this guy next time I see him? (my secretary is delivering his tuna lunch to him, so I am avoiding him for now).

Whatever you do, don't give him soup.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)
Urban Dictionary needs stick figures.

Really, it should mean (back door or front door) and oral, in order to do the spitroasting effect thingy.

[Shape Shifter]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I paid for the drink. Clearly I want her.

TM

Um, you bought me a drink, too. Should I be worried?

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally posted by robustpuppy
Even if this were my day, I wouldn't remember that time a week later.

"Attention to household duties. 12 hrs."

TM

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by notcasesensitive
I have never seen the terms used this way before today, but I bet I have a pretty good idea what it means. ?

I didn't invent the term, it was his dream, his phrase, but I understood the point, no pun intended.

[patentparanyc]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
I applied no such standard. You are not pretty at all. Period. You can jump up and down and pretend I lied or say I have impossibly high standards, but I was not judging you based on if I would sleep with you or date you. I simply looked at your face and could tell that you are neither pretty nor cute. I met you with the sole goal being to give everyone on this board an idea of what you look like.

The overwhelming majority of people on this earth would agree with me and I am quite certain everybody on this board would feel the same way. So, until you meet Sebby and he comes back and posts all about how cute you are (or until you convince SS to actually post about how pretty you are), shut the fuck up.

We know you did. You do every fucking day. The fact is, you are not pretty and the attention you get has absolutely no connection to your looks. If you think it does, you are completely delusional.

The attorneys are being nice to you because you work for them and they are probably nice people. Unless they are uglier than you or have some sort of fat, asian girl fetish, they are not hitting on you. Neither are the people you run into every day.

Whenever anyone says you are hot, they are telling you a white lie to avoid hurting your feelings. They do this because it is so very obvious to everyone around you that you need validation about (i) how you look (because you are well below average), (ii) your career choice (because paralegals ain't shit, no matter how much money you make -- I know, I used to be one) and (iii) your lifestyle (as evidenced by the fact that you can't have a conversation for more than 30 seconds without mentioning a brand name you want or are wearing).

You are a shallow, pathetic, empty, nothing of a person. Usually this perfect storm of emptiness occurs only in hot women. But you don't even have that. You are considerably overweight and unattractive. In fact, if you lost 40 pounds, you would still be unattractive.

Keep telling yourself that I lied about your looks. Because that's really all you have to hold onto. The truth hurts.

TM

You know, I am going to take the high road here. YOu don't find me attractive. Most men do. you agree to disagree.

I really don't care anymore. I think you are a very damaged, bitter person not sure why, don't want to scrape the surface to find out why don't care enough.

good luck in your endeavors and good day sir.

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
"Attention to household duties. 12 hrs."

TM

Good call. I had it as "wifely duties," but that would definitely get written down.

[ltl/fb]

Originally posted by ThurgreedMarshall
"Attention to household duties. 12 hrs."

TM

If getting a hot stone massage is housework, and housework burns calories at a rate of 75/hour*, then a 2-hour massage would burn 150 calories!

*I made up the calorie number because I did not feel like googling.

[Penske_Account]

Originally posted by Hank Chinaski
so the guy blackmails you with dirt that could cost you your job, and he figures the value of saving your job is a tuna sandwich? you're 40 or 50 or so right? that's the sign of one unhealthy career right there.

It was the tuna steak. $28.95. Plus a caesar salar, $7.95. He upped the ante today, as this is in addition to the christmas bonii I toss him.

[taxwonk]

Originally posted by greatwhitenorthchick
Hmm, not funny, but you have my sympathies. I frequently miss my dead neutered cat. He was quite a catch.

Really? We play catch with ours, too. Who'd a thunk it?

[robustpuppy]

Originally posted by taxwonk
Really? We play catch with ours, too. Who'd a thunk it?

Thanks for the pick me up!

[Tyrone Slothrop]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Really, it should mean (back door or front door) and oral, in order to do the spitroasting effect thingy.

Is there anything else it could mean? The mind boggles.

[Mmmm, Burger (C.J.)]

Originally posted by ltl/fb
Really, it should mean (back door or front door) and oral, in order to do the spitroasting effect thingy.

Um, and how does that differ from the UD definition?