Stuck on Repeats

[Flinty_McFlint]

Originally Posted by Replaced_Texan

In my circle, usually it's a "I'm dating a lot of people because I just broke up and/or am looking for the next Mr/s. and/or I'm a player" situation. We all sort of know, to cite a recent example, that J has met two girls he likes and is dating both. Both have gone to art openings, concerts and dinner parties with him. We also know that J is likely to narrow down to one in a few months, followed a few months after that by a break up that sends him into a tailspin of random sex with a lot more than two for a few months until he can go through the winnowing process again. So seeing Jim with lots of different girls isn't unexpected (and we learn to forget their names). Same sort of thing with C and the guys she brings to things, though she's less likely to go through the winnowing process, and she'll pick and choose depending on the event. She'll bring J (different J) to the more presentable "I'm trying to be a grown up" and C to the "I'm still rebeling against my conservative parents" events. To be fair, she stopped a lot of this when she left Houston and I think she's more inclined to serial monogamy now than when she lived here.

Then, there's M, who is according to her husband 87% lesbian, and he can't give her everything he wants (though he's more than happy to help when she finds something she wants). So if we see her with some girl, we're just happy for her husband. Though they (and most of the other polyamorous married couples I know) tend towards your scenario of publically coupled and privately having all sorts of non-couply sexy-times. And I'm pretty sure that things have changed since they had the baby. R and T purportedly have a dungeon in their basement that isn't just for them. I think C likes girls as well as boys, and her husband J (another, different J) is more than happy to let her have her fun while he finds his own. Socially, though, I never see these people with anyone other than their spouses/partners. I know of one triple, but I don't know them well enough to know how they do it. They present themselves publically as a triple, and the three of them live together. I imagine that it works slightly because all three are gay than it would if it were a mix of sexes, so to speak.

(Initials because they're all facebook friends. Except for the triple.)

It's like you and Atticus are twins or something.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

Question for the group: I've never dated two people at the same time and have no intention of doing so, but how does this work in practice? In the social circles in which I presently run, it would be unthinkable to show up at a social event with a date, and then another event involving the same people with The Other. Obviously my social scene is less imaginative than most, but doesn't this eventually devolve into two people with whom you're doing sex, only one of whom is used as a companion for all world-facing purposes?

NTTAWWT, of course, but I don't see the practicality of being a couple for social purposes with any more than one person at a time. Or am I being fusty and now everybody gets +2 wedding invitations?

Congratulations on finding a social circle of people just like you.

I had an uncle who kept two families who ultimately found out about each other, both living a few blocks apart in NYC. After it became public, he'd travel with both sometimes. He always seemed happy.

Once it was all in the open, the social circles adjusted. Before it was out in the open, my impression is there was a lot of whispering and an attempt to maintain separate circles in a relatively small little neighborhood.

[Adder]

Originally Posted by Replaced_Texan

In my circle, usually it's a "I'm dating a lot of people because I just broke up and/or am looking for the next Mr/s. and/or I'm a player" situation. We all sort of know, to cite a recent example, that J has met two girls he likes and is dating both. Both have gone to art openings, concerts and dinner parties with him. We also know that J is likely to narrow down to one in a few months, followed a few months after that by a break up that sends him into a tailspin of random sex with a lot more than two for a few months until he can go through the winnowing process again. So seeing J with lots of different girls isn't unexpected (and we learn to forget their names). Same sort of thing with C and the guys she brings to things, though she's less likely to go through the winnowing process, and she'll pick and choose depending on the event. She'll bring J (different J) to the more presentable "I'm trying to be a grown up" and C to the "I'm still rebeling against my conservative parents" events. To be fair, she stopped a lot of this when she left Houston and I think she's more inclined to serial monogamy now than when she lived here.

Then, there's M, who is according to her husband 87% lesbian, and he can't give her everything he wants (though he's more than happy to help when she finds something she wants). So if we see her with some girl, we're just happy for her husband. Though they (and most of the other polyamorous married couples I know) tend towards your scenario of publically coupled and privately having all sorts of non-couply sexy-times. And I'm pretty sure that things have changed since they had the baby. R and T purportedly have a dungeon in their basement that isn't just for them. I think C likes girls as well as boys, and her husband J (another, different J) is more than happy to let her have her fun while he finds his own. Socially, though, I never see these people with anyone other than their spouses/partners. I know of one triple, but I don't know them well enough to know how they do it. They present themselves publically as a triple, and the three of them live together. I imagine that it works slightly because all three are gay than it would if it were a mix of sexes, so to speak.

(Initials because they're all facebook friends. Except for the triple.)

You missed a J.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally Posted by Replaced_Texan

In my circle, usually it's a "I'm dating a lot of people because I just broke up and/or am looking for the next Mr/s. and/or I'm a player" situation. We all sort of know, to cite a recent example, that J has met two girls he likes and is dating both. Both have gone to art openings, concerts and dinner parties with him. We also know that J is likely to narrow down to one in a few months, followed a few months after that by a break up that sends him into a tailspin of random sex with a lot more than two for a few months until he can go through the winnowing process again. So seeing Jim with lots of different girls isn't unexpected (and we learn to forget their names). Same sort of thing with C and the guys she brings to things, though she's less likely to go through the winnowing process, and she'll pick and choose depending on the event. She'll bring J (different J) to the more presentable "I'm trying to be a grown up" and C to the "I'm still rebeling against my conservative parents" events. To be fair, she stopped a lot of this when she left Houston and I think she's more inclined to serial monogamy now than when she lived here.

Then, there's M, who is according to her husband 87% lesbian, and he can't give her everything he wants (though he's more than happy to help when she finds something she wants). So if we see her with some girl, we're just happy for her husband. Though they (and most of the other polyamorous married couples I know) tend towards your scenario of publically coupled and privately having all sorts of non-couply sexy-times. And I'm pretty sure that things have changed since they had the baby. R and T purportedly have a dungeon in their basement that isn't just for them. I think C likes girls as well as boys, and her husband J (another, different J) is more than happy to let her have her fun while he finds his own. Socially, though, I never see these people with anyone other than their spouses/partners. I know of one triple, but I don't know them well enough to know how they do it. They present themselves publically as a triple, and the three of them live together. I imagine that it works slightly because all three are gay than it would if it were a mix of sexes, so to speak.

(Initials because they're all facebook friends. Except for the triple.)

Texas. Still the wild west.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

Sort of my point, in which case you're boinking two people and then one of them advances in the tournament bracket to "boyfriend." But having two socially acknowledged boyfriends? Does that really work?

Dude, I'm really old and really married but even I move in afew different social circles. Plus, 70% of my social events are me and the, uh, date. I don't see "who do I bring" as a problem.

[LessinSF]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

Question for the group: I've never dated two people at the same time and have no intention of doing so, but how does this work in practice? In the social circles in which I presently run, it would be unthinkable to show up at a social event with a date, and then another event involving the same people with The Other. Obviously my social scene is less imaginative than most, but doesn't this eventually devolve into two people with whom you're doing sex, only one of whom is used as a companion for all world-facing purposes?

NTTAWWT, of course, but I don't see the practicality of being a couple for social purposes with any more than one person at a time. Or am I being fusty and now everybody gets +2 wedding invitations?

One might have more than one social circle. For example, I have "dated" lawyers and alt/rave/druggie/hipsters at the same time.

LessinBremen

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by LessinSF

One might have more than one social circle. For example, I have "dated" lawyers and alt/rave/druggie/hipsters at the same time.

LessinBremen

It's one thing when thurgreed has the same post as me, I'm used to it, but less?

[Replaced_Texan]

Originally Posted by Adder

You missed a J.

Fortunately, I have a ton of J friends.

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

Question for the group: I've never dated two people at the same time and have no intention of doing so, but how does this work in practice? In the social circles in which I presently run, it would be unthinkable to show up at a social event with a date, and then another event involving the same people with The Other. Obviously my social scene is less imaginative than most, but doesn't this eventually devolve into two people with whom you're doing sex, only one of whom is used as a companion for all world-facing purposes?

NTTAWWT, of course, but I don't see the practicality of being a couple for social purposes with any more than one person at a time. Or am I being fusty and now everybody gets +2 wedding invitations?

Funny story. I was a little kid when my recently-divorced godfather showed up at a party with his girlfriend. When I asked her about her job at the union, to which she responded "What union?" my father smacked me and told me to start the grill.

I figured it out when we went to a barbecue with the girlfriend who did work at the union.

[Icky Thump]

Originally Posted by Replaced_Texan

In my circle, usually it's a "I'm dating a lot of people because I just broke up and/or am looking for the next Mr/s. and/or I'm a player" situation. We all sort of know, to cite a recent example, that J has met two girls he likes and is dating both. Both have gone to art openings, concerts and dinner parties with him. We also know that J is likely to narrow down to one in a few months, followed a few months after that by a break up that sends him into a tailspin of random sex with a lot more than two for a few months until he can go through the winnowing process again. So seeing Jim with lots of different girls isn't unexpected (and we learn to forget their names). Same sort of thing with C and the guys she brings to things, though she's less likely to go through the winnowing process, and she'll pick and choose depending on the event. She'll bring J (different J) to the more presentable "I'm trying to be a grown up" and C to the "I'm still rebeling against my conservative parents" events. To be fair, she stopped a lot of this when she left Houston and I think she's more inclined to serial monogamy now than when she lived here.

Then, there's M, who is according to her husband 87% lesbian, and he can't give her everything he wants (though he's more than happy to help when she finds something she wants). So if we see her with some girl, we're just happy for her husband. Though they (and most of the other polyamorous married couples I know) tend towards your scenario of publically coupled and privately having all sorts of non-couply sexy-times. And I'm pretty sure that things have changed since they had the baby. R and T purportedly have a dungeon in their basement that isn't just for them. I think C likes girls as well as boys, and her husband J (another, different J) is more than happy to let her have her fun while he finds his own. Socially, though, I never see these people with anyone other than their spouses/partners. I know of one triple, but I don't know them well enough to know how they do it. They present themselves publically as a triple, and the three of them live together. I imagine that it works slightly because all three are gay than it would if it were a mix of sexes, so to speak.

(Initials because they're all facebook friends. Except for the triple.)

Geez, maybe I do have to redepose those witnesses in your town after all.

[Adder]

Originally Posted by Replaced_Texan

Fortunately, I have a ton of J friends.

How many friends named Jim?

[LessinSF]

Originally Posted by Hank Chinaski

It's one thing when thurgreed has the same post as me, I'm used to it, but less?

I claim the 3 minute drunk fat finger on tablet delay credit.

LessinBremen

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Originally Posted by Adder

How many friends named Jim?

Is your goal to draw as much attention to this as possible? If so, well done.

TM

[Atticus Grinch]

Originally Posted by LessinSF

One might have more than one social circle.

As do I, if this one counts. But suffice it to say, most of the ones I deal with IRL regard the time in one's life that one sexes up more than one person at a time as an evolutionary stage in a process of personal growth that ends in lifelong stable monogamy at best and serial monogamy at worst. All other modalities are considered immature and self-indulgent, and are viewed with a combination of open tut-tutting and unexpressed envy. No offense.

[ThurgreedMarshall]

Today is Georgia Salpa Day.

http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/sho...postcount=1111

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http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/sho...postcount=1113

http://www.lawtalkers.com/forums/sho...postcount=1114

TM