Stuck on Repeats

[Sidd Finch]

Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop

I would call her fetching.

She had the sophistication and wit of a lady of court, the innocent charm of a village lass, and the come-hither look seen only in the finest brothels.

Verily, I doth say.

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by Sidd Finch

Hank's wife is lovely. Truly.

It was mystifying. I finally settled on the theory that the practice of arranged marriages took root in Michigan much earlier than anyone would have guessed.

Not necessarily. You'd be amazed what Jewish girls will marry just to rub it in Papa's face they're sleeping with a goy.

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by Tyrone Slothrop

I would call her fetching.

Where I come from that means she's well-trained.

[Greedy,Greedy,Greedy]

Originally Posted by Sidd Finch

She had the sophistication and wit of a lady of court, the innocent charm of a village lass, and the come-hither look seen only in the finest brothels.

Verily, I doth say.

Hmmm. I remember two of these traits, but not the third.

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally Posted by Not Bob

The ex-husband I met seemed perfectly normal, too.

Awkward, though. (The meeting, that is -- not him. Although maybe he is awkward, too. But that's not what I meant. Anyway.) It was partly because he did slip and fall defense work for the A&P, and I could just imagine him prospecting my clients by saying "oh, sure -- Not Bob. Good guy, great lawyer. Funny as hell, too. Did you know he gave my wife -- well, ex-wife now, but it's mostly amicable -- a fist dildo? Well, not him exactly, it had something to do with this little group who hang out online. Yeah, a dildo shaped like a fist. Well, i think it was supposed to be funny. Yeah, it was a pretty odd thing, now that you mention it. Right, we Sunday school teachers just might not be as sophisticated as Not Bob and my ex. What? Sure, I'll show you the site ..."

ETA: not that it affects my story, but for clarity's sake, he was the ex husband at the time I met him. Which is why it was awkward to meet him. Anyway, at least the dude had good taste in chicks, right? The poster has very nice hair.

For the sake of clarity, it was actually the ex who gave me... I mean her... the fist dildo.

[taxwonk]

Originally Posted by bold_n_brazen

For the sake of clarity, it was actually the ex who gave me... I mean her... the fist dildo.

That clears up a lot. Thanks.

[Not Bob]

Originally Posted by bold_n_brazen

For the sake of clarity, it was actually the ex who gave me... I mean her... the fist dildo.

Wow, you have a fist dildo, too?

How could I have forgotten that detail? (Old age. Sheesh.) Speaking of which, did I ever tell you that I ended up getting my ass kicked* in that trial? And that one of my clients subsequently went to the big house in New Mexico or Utah for deliberately spilling Wesson Oil on aisle 5 on another slip and fall case (which can be a crime, who knew?)?

Dinner was delicious, though. A delightful evening (and I am Not Kidding).

*I could rationalize my loss by saying the grocery store defendant I also represented in that case was found not liable, but the client who later went to jail was the one paying the bill, and he got hammered, so ...

[bold_n_brazen]

Originally Posted by Not Bob

Wow, you have a fist dildo, too?

How could I have forgotten that detail? (Old age. Sheesh.) Speaking of which, did I ever tell you that I ended up getting my ass kicked* in that trial? And that one of my clients subsequently went to the big house in New Mexico or Utah for deliberately spilling Wesson Oil on aisle 5 on another slip and fall case (which can be a crime, who knew?)?

Dinner was delicious, though. A delightful evening (and I am Not Kidding).

*I could rationalize my loss by saying the grocery store defendant I also represented in that case was found not liable, but the client who later went to jail was the one paying the bill, and he got hammered, so ...

Because I am sure Coltrane will ask, it should be made clear that you did not avail yourself of the vomitorium.

[Not Bob]

Originally Posted by bold_n_brazen

Because I am sure Coltrane will ask, it should be made clear that you did not avail yourself of the vomitorium.

Surely young Coltrane is too much of a gentleman to ask, but that is correct.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by taxwonk

Okay, Leona Helmsley.

How many insanely successful folks do you know (non-inherited) with centered, concrete moral compasses? By way of mere example, can you even be involved in real estate development for more than three years without having committed at least five or six borderline frauds?

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by Did you just call me Coltrane?

In my part of the country, it was urban legend because (a) you first heard it when you were 11-12 (probably from a friend's older brother), and (b) we didn't have the internet to dispute it. When you're 12 and it's 1987 and you've probably never seen a vagina (yes I know the vagina is internal but I'm calling it a vagina for the sake of this discussion) except maybe once or twice in a nudie mag, you are skeptical about this alleged characteristic but you can't really rule it out.

When you think about it, that's the age when you first hear most urban legends, and at that age (the "Stand By Me" age) you're really not sure about much of anything. That's the age when urban legends are most effective.

And I think making fun of how silly an urban legend is is funny. Especially when we're talking about one that is as ridiculous as this one. Apparently we disagree on this point.

In any event, we actually did convince a guy (Ian) in my freshman year dorm in 1993 that it was true (by that time I had figured it out that it wasn't true without the intarwebs thankyouverymuch). He believed it for a least three months.

I'm sorry for the lack of Asian women in your high school. Many are quite comely.

(The rumor I'd heard at that age was they all had straight pubic hair. I'll leave Daniel Tosh the final word on that.)

[notcasesensitive]

Originally Posted by dtb

That's true. "Free range" is meaningless. You could just give up eggs, unless they come from a chicken you know. As one person, you probably don't make a difference, but when more people care about it, it does.

If people knew where their meat comes from and how animals live and die at factory farms (99% of meat sold as human food in this country is from factory farms ), they'd probably not want it anyway, both as a health matter, and as a matter of humane treatment. Sure, there are people who could not care less about either, but they are not the majority.

2. Knowledge may not be power, but a little bit of knowledge about the true grossitude of our system of factory farming completely did away with my desire to ever eat meat again. Some things cannot be unread.

[LessinSF]

Originally Posted by Adder

I take your point, but I patronize locally owned restaurants because I don't want shitty food.

What?! Minnesotans cannot make bad food? If food is local it doesn't suck?

Locally, here, Tu Lan - a worshipped and renowned cheap Vietnamese Pho place was finally retired because it was also a disease vector. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/0...n_1726389.html . The owner defended his kitchen as, in essence, "sure, but I provide cheap good food to the hood, and if I had to get rid of the roaches, it would be a few pennies more for the local junkies and crack whores." Which, I have no problem with. Insects are a good source of protein.

And local chefs know local pests best. They never make a poor rat round here.

[sebastian_dangerfield]

Originally Posted by Atticus Grinch

That data point ain't helping your case. I probably buy organic at a rate equal to or in excess of anyone on these boards. We get a CSA box and everything. And go through about six gallons of organic 1% milk a week. I do this not because I believe I'm changing the world, but because my wife doesn't find me any more persuasive on anything than y'all do.

But we do not buy yellow bracelets, and I have yet to fall for any of the "Click 'Like' and type 'lettuce CUP' in the comments, and see what happens" stuff on Facebook.

We're forgetting the millions of accidental organic buyers. I find myself buying organic produce, milk, etc. simply because it's either the closest form of the product to me while shopping, or because I haven't read the sign above that portion of the store identifying that area as the "organic" section.

Last summer I was paying through the nose for strawberries before one day realizing that, on the other side of the display case I'd been patronizing was the much cheaper and far better tasting non-organic variety.*
________
* Organic stuff is too natural. In every box there's some rotted berry, or dirt-dusted fruit. I prefer the identically plump and clean factory farmed berries.

[Hank Chinaski]

Originally Posted by LessinSF

What?! Minnesotans cannot make bad food? If food is local it doesn't suck?

Exactly. National chains tend to be adequate up to good. Locals fill the brackets above, sure, but also below.