It's all about me

[Did you just call me Coltrane?]

After several years and several lateral moves to various MIDLAW firms, I am fed up and exploring new career options. Unfortunately, the usual "do what you enjoy" advice is presently useless to me because the practice of law has gradually but completely sucked from my now-black soul any notion of what that might be. Obviously, becoming a childrens book author is probably not a viable option for the time being.

As I figure what I want to do, I am looking for a short-term option so that I can quit my job and take a dump on a partner's desk before I leave. To do this while remaining solvent and maintaining my current alcohol consumption level (which is considerable), I want to learn more about contract or temp lawyering. Is there a difference between contract lawyers and temp lawyers? What are typical assignments for contract/temp lawyers, and what types of firms use them? What are the best agencies in Chicago? What does it pay? Would carrying out the aforementioned desk-dump fantasy impair my ability to get such work?

I'll appreciate any insight -- thanks in advance.

PS. If anyone knows of jobs that pay six figures, don't require any level of personal hygiene, and involve drinking on the job, I'd welcome any guidance on that as well.