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To the good people at coca cola
You are morons.
I was already addicted. You didn't need to do anything further. It was bad enough when you started making diet flavored drinks (lemon and lime, especially, taste terrible, though vanilla isn't anything to brag about) that were similarly packaged as your addictive as hell diet coke product.
But now I have to navigate the diet coke with splenda, and whatever the fuck this Coke zero thing is that is currently in my office.
I just want diet coke. I don't want you to fuck with it. I don't want you to "improve" upon it. I don't want you to try and mess with a good thing. I don't need new flavors. I don't need it to taste like your coca cola product.
Remember what happened when you tried to introduce "new" coke in the 80s? Same shit. Leave it alone, and let it be easy for me to purchase diet coke.
Signed,
A pissed off addict who can't get her fix with this crap
Dear CVS,
Stop carrying the other shit. You're just encouraging them and confusing me.
Signed,
Back to Walgreens
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"In the olden days before the internet, you'd take this sort of person for a ride out into the woods and shoot them, as Darwin intended, before he could spawn."--Will the Vampire People Leave the Lobby? pg 79
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