Drive fast, live hard, no regrets... Sorry Penske

[spookyfish]

Okay. So this coming weekend, I may or may not be involved in certain traditional festivities involving a friend of mine from law school, which may or may not involve me getting up in front of a group of people who may or may not be drunk and speaking about/giving best wishes to said friend and said friend's significant other. Did I mention that the group of people of whom I am speaking may or may not be friends or relatives of my friend and said friend's significant other? Did I also mention that I don't actually know many of these people besides said friend and said friend's significant other?

I am a little rusty in terms of what makes a good speech/best wishes message for such an event, and I'm interested in hearing any suggestions about how this might be as meaningful/painless for everybody as possible.

Did I also mention that I may or may not be drunk by then and I am trying to avoid any catastrophes of Costanzian proportions?

Any advice is greatly appreciated.