Quote:
Originally Posted by dtb
Interesting...
My stepdaughter's mother walked out and moved away (a four-hour drive) to go shack up with her boyfriend when my stepdaughter was five years old. She has recently made more of an effort to be part of her daughter's life (more than zero, that is), but she feeds her a load of BS about why she (the mother) left. Even my stepdaughter doesn't believe it. She says things to me like, "But that CAN'T be the real reason, because x,y,z." And she's quite right. The story is full of holes, even to a second-grader.
So, how honest should I be about her mother's departure? My husband leans toward being more rather than less honest (if she asks), but he's not sure either. I think he'd rather leave it to me.
I don't want to "tattle" on her mom, but I don't want to lie for her mom either.
The last time my stepdaughter said, "I just don't believe that's true" I just said, "I think you're right to be a little suspicious about that -- I don't believe that either."
Such a minefield.
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Your husband, her father, leaves it to you? Well, I trust you and she are pretty close.
I grew up in a house full of lies. We don't know what Mom convinced herself was true and what Mom lied about to cover and what Mom managed to avoid knowing. But the lack of truth that fundamentally began with Dad did have some negative impact on at least a couple of my siblings relationships with Mom (me, less so; I think my youngest sister actually drew closer to her out of sympathy for it all). I think it had a very negative impact on one sibling's relationship with Mom in particular.
Here's the problem: right now, the original Mom is the untrustworthy liar. Whatever you do, don't join her as someone your step daughter doesn't trust. Dad probably gets to make his own decision.
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